Operation_Bug Spray

by Isaac Hooke

  All the robots had recent backups aboard, so that when the shipment arrived, it was a simple matter to install the neural imprint.

  Algorithm opened its eyes.

  Rade made sure to have Harlequin present, as the Artificial had gone through this experience himself once. Algorithm looked at Rade, then at Harlequin, and finally gazed down at its polycarbonate hands. Though the robot’s head was featureless, Rade suspected that if it had a face, the Centurion would be shocked at the moment.

  “Oh, crap,” Algorithm said. “I died, didn’t I?”

  Rade nodded. “Unfortunately. But your memories live on.”

  “They do,” Algorithm said. And just like that it straightened and said: “Permission to continue my duties, boss?”

  Rade suppressed a grin. “No need to be so formal. And permission granted.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Algorithm said.

  Rade’s brows drew together.

  “I mean boss!” Algorithm said. “Not sir. Never sir.”

  Rade forced a smile. “It’s good to have you back.”

  “Thank you, boss.”

  “You can join the other robots in storage bay three,” Rade said. “They’re all jacked in to Libreville.”

  That was the latest and greatest robot-centric RPG hitting the InterGalNet. On planets, it formed a massively multiplayer online game among AI participants, but aboard a ship, because of the fault tolerate nature of the InterGalNet, only local network play was enabled. It still allowed AIs to log into a vast VR world that allowed them to interact with sub-AIs, controlled in this case by Bax.

  Rade had logged in once out of curiosity, but found the gameplay a little too abstract. Perversely, Sil and Alex enjoyed the game. They logged in with Cora and Dora via aReal goggles, but only in augmented reality mode, forcing the game world to incorporate all elements of this reality, keeping the real-world objects like bulkheads and chairs in view at all times so that the ship essentially became one big playground.

  Rade usually limited the twins’ access to the game to a maximum of an hour a day. He was of a mind that developing children needed to interact with the real world more. Though Shaw disagreed, of course. If she had her way, she would have had the kids wearing aReal goggles at all hours. And she might have, too, if it weren’t for Bax, who, on Rade’s behalf, cut off their access when the twins went over the limit.

  Rade watched Algorithm leave. “Watch him for a few days,” he told Harlequin. “Make sure he takes well to his new body.”

  “Will do,” Harlequin said.

  “And comfort him, if you have to,” Rade said. “You know what he’s been through.”

  “I will,” Harlequin said.

  “How are you doing, anyway?” Rade asked.

  “I’m fine,” Harlequin said. “This morning, Bender tricked me into placing my foot into one of the toilets, and then he flushed it on high mode, lodging me fairly tightly. I managed to extricate myself without damaging the toilet too badly. Before you ask, I repaired the device, so there is no need to dock Bender’s pay.”

  Rade shook his head. “Not the answer I was expecting, but I actually meant, how are you doing. As a person. Knowing that you’re not the original Harlequin. Any lingering scars?”

  Harlequin pursed his lips. “I don’t really think about it anymore. I am the original Harlequin as far as I’m concerned. A unique individual. There’s no one I have to measure up to anymore. No one I have to prove I’m just as brave as. I am me.”

  Rade grinned. “That’s good. I’m very glad to hear it.” He patted Harlequin on the shoulder.

  All was well. His crew was fed and paid. Morale was high. The Argonauts had successfully completed their latest mission, and were on their way to shoot a Phant into a star.

  Life was good.

  A few days later, halfway to the system’s sun, Rade was awakened by a klaxon.

  four

  What’s going on!” Rade said, sitting up. His movements caused the HLED lights embedded in the ceiling to activate, bathing the compartment in illumination.

  As the klaxon continued, Rade attempted to slide out of the bunk he shared with Shaw as fast as possible. She was wrapped around his body and all he succeeded in doing was dragging the two of them to the metal deck, sheets and all.

  “Ouch,” Shaw said.

  “It’s Surus!” TJ said over the comm. “She just tried to take over engineering with two of the combat robots! I repelled her, but I have a feeling she’s going to be back very soon to try again.”

  “What?” Rade said, extricating himself from Shaw and scrambling to his feet. “Bax, where is Surus now?”

  Bax didn’t respond.

  “That’s the thing,” TJ said. “She’s disabled Bax somehow. And locked us all inside whatever compartments we’re currently located in. For most of the crew, that means their quarters. Try to leave.”

  Rade went to the hatch. Sure enough it didn’t open.

  The HLED lights flickered overhead and then blackened, bathing the room in darkness.

  “That can’t be good,” Rade said. “TJ, you still there? TJ?”

  No response.

  “The twins,” Shaw said urgently in the dark.

  Rade nodded, though she couldn’t see him. “They are our first priority.”

  Rade activated the “3D Map Visualization” feature, which caused the outline of the compartment to appear as white vector wireframes overlaid onto his vision. He could see the seams where the bulkheads joined the deck and overhead, and the outlines of the bed and other objects. At least this way he could move without knocking into anything. It wouldn’t give him the positions of any objects that had changed locations since the last time the map snapshot was made, however.

  He glanced at his HUD, whose digital overlays were still visible over the black and white background. Most of the human crew members were tagged as online even without Bax to connect to, thanks to the adhoc network formed by their Implants. It helped that they were all in close proximity, seeing as most of them were in their quarters at the moment.

  Strangely, though Harlequin roomed with the humans, he was offline. As for TJ, without Bax to boost his signal, he would be out of range in engineering. As would Cora and Dora in sickbay with the twins. Maybe it was a bad idea to place the kids so far from his quarters…

  Surus was offline as well, however that might have nothing to do with range at all—if she had turned against the crew, she had very likely disabled her internal comm node.

  Rade was able to activate “squad display outline” mode with those team members who were online. Shaw immediately appeared as a blue silhouette in front of him in the dark, and his own body became similarly outlined. All the Argonauts showed up as well, minus TJ, Surus, Harlequin, and the Centurions. Their profiles were visible beyond the bulkheads, showing Rade precisely where his team members were in relation to him. The 3D silhouettes updated in realtime as they moved their limbs and bodies. Most of them appeared to be trying to get out of their quarters.

  Rade tapped them all into a shared, encrypted comm line.

  “What the shit is going on!” Bender said.

  “It’s Surus.” As Rade spoke, he searched the nondescript bulkhead represented as a wireframe next to the hatch, looking for the access panel. “She’s turned on us. And is apparently attempting to take control of the ship.”

  “This is what we get for trusting aliens!” Lui said.

  “I always knew we couldn’t trust the Greens anymore,” Fret said. “Not after what they did to the Hydra. Subjugating an entire species with a retrovirus…”

  “Surus wouldn’t do this,” Bender said. “She wouldn’t. Something must have happened to her.”

  “Whatever the case,” Rade said. “We have to get control of the ship back.”

  Rade found the panel he was looking for. He removed it. His vector overlays showed only a blank area in front of him, so he fumbled about until he discovered the manual open jack. He proceeded to pump it
.

  He heard a creaking sound as the door began to open.

  “Why aren’t the emergency lights kicking in?” Fret said.

  “We don’t need them,” Rade said. “Use the three-dimensional map data stored by your Implants, and squad display mode. Once we reach the armory, we can don our jumpsuits and switch to LIDAR for realtime object detection. If something else is aboard, and has Surus in its control, we’ll find it.”

  “Is TJ all right?” Fret asked.

  “I heard from him before the power went out,” Rade said, continuing to pump the jack. Since no light emerged from the passageway beyond, he paused occasionally to touch the hatch and gauge his progress. “TJ told me he had successfully repelled an attempt by Surus and two Centurions to take control of engineering.”

  “It can’t be Surus,” Bender said. He still sounded stunned. “I don’t believe it. TJ is playing a practical joke.”

  “He wouldn’t play a joke this bad,” Tahoe said. “Not even for his BlueTube channel.”

  “We have to assume the Purple got out somehow,” Rade said. “And has taken control of Surus’ host, Ms. Bounty. It’s the only explanation.”

  “But then what happened to Surus?” Bender said.

  Rade didn’t have an answer.

  “Notice how none of the combat robots are on the adhoc link?” Tahoe said. “All offline.”

  “That’s because the Centurion storage closet isn’t within range of our living quarters,” Lui offered.

  “You sure?” Tahoe said. “I think it is. Have a look at the blueprints. I read forty-five meters from my quarters. Within Implant range.”

  “The bulkheads are interfering,” Lui said.

  “We’ll see,” Tahoe said.

  “Definitely worrisome,” Rade said. “I want you guys to head to the armory. We need those jumpsuits.” The Phant-repelling properties of the suits alone would make the trip worth it. And then there was the LIDAR. “Once you’ve geared up, make your way to the storage closet. Confirm the status of the remaining combat robots and head to engineering to look for TJ. I’ll join you along the way. But first, Shaw and I are going directly to sickbay.”

  “I’m coming with you,” Bender said.

  “As am I,” Tahoe said. “This isn’t the military anymore.”

  “Fine,” Rade said. “Then the rest of you head to the armory and suit up.”

  “Where’s Harlequin, by the way?” Lui said.

  “Dunno,” Rade said. “Hopefully we’ll find him somewhere along the way.”

  Rade continued working the jack, and now kept one hand near the ever-widening gap at all times to gauge his progress. What started as a crack became a fist-sized opening, then head-sized, and finally enlarged enough for Rade and Shaw to squeeze through.

  They hurried toward sickbay, passing some of the other Argonauts along the way, headed in the opposite direction. Bender and Tahoe joined up with them, and together they took the scuttle to the next deck.

  “Does anyone else find it a bit troubling that none of the breach seals are active?” Bender said. “Or am I just crazy like that?”

  “You’re crazy,” Tahoe said. “But you do have a point.”

  “That’s right, Big T,” Bender said. “If Surus really wanted to take over the ship, why leave the seals open, instead of barricading us into smaller and smaller compartments?”

  “Well, the seals can be opened manually…” Tahoe said.

  “A blast from a plasma rifle can fix that,” Bender said.

  “Okay, I dunno then,” Tahoe said.

  “Got some bad news,” Lui said. His voice was distorted.

  Rade glanced at the overhead map. Lui and the others had reached the armory, and they were just at the edge of Implant comm range, judging from the distance meter. Rade halted so he could hear what they had to say without going beyond that range.

  “What is it?” Rade said.

  “Armory’s ransacked,” Lui said. “The jumpsuit closets are empty. The rifle racks pilfered. We got nothing.”

  “So much for switching to LIDAR,” Manic complained. “Or getting armed.”

  “It’s possible the armory in the hangar bay is still stocked,” Lui said.

  “Yeah, great idea,” Fret said. “Let’s go to the hangar bay without environmental suits, that way the Purple can space all of us in one fell swoop.”

  “Head to the robot storage closet first,” Rade said. “Confirm the status of the remaining combat robots. Then meet us in sickbay. We’ll head to engineering together.”

  “You know if the Phant got out, it’s possible that it reprogrammed all the combat robots,” Tahoe said softly. “Not just two of them.”

  Rade glanced at the big man. “A lot of things are possible. We’ll deal with whatever comes our way.”

  “I’m going to kill that Purple alien bitch if it harmed the twins or Surus, that’s all I can say,” Bender chimed in. “Just going to kill it.”

  You and me both, Rade thought.

  The four of them continued through the cramped passageway in the darkness. The other Argonauts dropped out of communications range shortly, their indicators freezing on the overhead map.

  Rade stubbed his toe on something. “The hell!” The prerecorded wireframe overlays didn’t indicate anything on the deck.

  He knelt and felt around until he found what appeared to be a helmet of some kind. “Looks like we found a part of one of the jumpsuits.”

  Rade tried donning the helmet, but the faceplate interface refused to come online, so he couldn’t utilize the built-in LIDAR. And without a power source, the headlamp wouldn’t turn on either.

  “Tahoe, hold onto this so no one else bumps into it,” Rade said, handing the helmet to his friend.

  As the four passed the fifty meter mark to sickbay, Rade was relieved when two familiar Centurions came online.

  “Cora and Dora!” Shaw said breathlessly.

  The two blue dots representing the robots indicated the pair were in sickbay. The kids wouldn’t show up, of course, since Alex and Sil weren’t Implanted, nor did they have embedded IDs.

  Rade tapped in the two combat robots immediately.

  “Sit-rep,” he asked urgently, picking up the pace.

  “The twins are fine,” Cora answered. “If a little scared. We’ve produced a flashlight. We’ll have the hatch open for you when you arrive.”

  Shaw broke ahead and Rade had to rush to keep up with her. They reached sickbay, but the hatch was only open a crack. Inside, Dora was pumping frantically at the manual open jack.

  Rade peered through the crack and saw Cora on the far side of the compartment, sitting on the bed next to the twins. The Centurion held a flashlight vertically, shining it into a sheet Cora and the twins held over their heads, with the rays reflecting down to illuminate their faces. Rade had the impression Cora was trying to evoke a fun sleepover atmosphere or something, but from the worried expressions on the faces of his children, it wasn’t really working.

  Cora pointed the flashlight toward the door, momentarily blinding Rade.

  “Daddy!” Sil said.

  “Mommy!” Alex said.

  “My babies!” Shaw shouted into the opening.

  The twins leaped off the bed and rushed the hatch, while Cora followed, providing illumination with the flashlight.

  When Dora had the opening wide enough, the combat robot astutely stepped back, allowing Shaw to squeeze inside. Rade pushed in after her, and together they knelt to envelop the kids in a massive, four-way bear hug.

  “I’m hugging y’all, too!” Bender said. He added his arms to the mix, so the bear hug became five-way.

  Tahoe came inside but kept a wary distance. He shook his head. “I’m not getting anywhere near you mushy people.” He stayed next to the entrance, obviously intending to keep watch.

  Rade finally broke away, as did Shaw and Bender. They all stayed down on their knees.

  “Mommy what’s going on?” Sil asked frantically, her eyes
wide.

  “It’s okay, sweetie,” Shaw said. “But you have to keep quiet.”

  “What’s going on, Uncle Bender?” Alex said, sounding way calmer.

  “The shi—” Bender paused, glanced at Shaw, and then cleared his throat. “The feces has hit the plasma inductor.”

  Alex seemed confused, then his face brightened. “You mean someone flushed the toilet?”

  “Something like that,” Bender said.

  “Someone must have taken a pretty big shit!” Alex giggled. “To shut down a starship like that!”

  “Alex!” Shaw said. “Don’t talk that way in front of your sister.”

  Sil didn’t seem to notice. She just stood there, seeming shell-shocked to Rade. Just utterly afraid. A normal reaction for a four-year-old when the lights went out, he supposed. This was in complete contrast to Alex, who seemed entirely at ease now that Rade and Shaw had arrived.

  He wondered if maybe the fearlessness was just an act on Alex’s part, and his son simply wanted to pretend he was brave like his dad. He wondered—

  “This is just a VR game, right?” Alex said.

  Ah, so that was it.

  The first few weeks after Alex had returned from the trip to the past had been really bad: Alex had withdrawn from reality, and kept entirely to himself. He lived almost exclusively in a VR world of rainbows and unicorns. In the real world, he was afraid of everything: the dark; the creature under his bunk; the monster waiting in the corridor.

  Finally Shaw and Rade agreed that they would lie to their son. Tell him his entire trip back in time was just a VR game.

  “The dinosaurs weren’t real?” Alex said moments after Shaw detailed the lie.

  Shaw shook her head.

  “It wasn’t real.” Alex wept tears of joy and hugged his parents. “Thank you, Mommy and Daddy.”

  Maybe that had been a mistake.

  “It’s a game?” Alex repeated.

  Little Sil looked at Rade hopefully. Rade couldn’t meet her eye.

  Shaw smiled sadly at Alex. “Not this time, dear.”

  That seemed to crumple Alex’s resolve, and he immediately hunched over as if physically struck in the stomach. Rade tried to hug him again, but Alex went for Shaw instead and wrapped his little arms around her so tightly that Rade thought she must have had trouble breathing. But Shaw didn’t make her son let go—she seemed to hold on just as tight. At the same time, Sil hugged Shaw’s neck.