Operation_Bug Spray

by Isaac Hooke

  That cord was designed to meld easily when superheated, but unfortunately any heat would quickly dissipate in the void, so the pair would have to work fast.

  “I’ll pass mine to you, Harley,” Bender said. “Ready?”

  “I believe the human phrase is, ‘as I’ll ever be,’” Harlequin said.

  “Damn, this is going to be a long mission,” Bender said. “You keep making me want to kick your ass.” He pitched his voice upward to mimic Harlequin. “I believe the human phrase is—”

  “Just join the cord, Bender,” Rade interrupted, keeping his eyes on the crevice.

  “Doing it now, Boss,” Bender said.

  Rade kept his rear-view feed active and watched as Bender and Harlequin pulsed their lasers at the same time. The tips of their respective cords became white hot; Bender quickly handed over his section of cord, and Harlequin touched the two hot tips together. He held the cords in place as the glow quickly faded to orange and then black.

  Harlequin tested the combined cord by pulling on either side of the contact point with his Hoplite for several seconds, then he released it. “Cord has been repaired.”

  “We just joined ours as well,” Tahoe announced over the comm.

  “All right, continue defensive watch,” Rade said. “Bender, join me over here.”

  “You got it boss.” Bender jogged over in Juggernaut, while Harlequin resumed his previous position in the formation.

  “Snakeoil,” Rade said. “Resume the haul. Let’s get this asteroid moved out of the way.”

  “Accelerating to seventy-five percent thrust,” Snakeoil’s voice came over the comm.

  Rade started up his timer. “Look sharp people.”

  He ran his targeting reticle back and forth over the wide crevice located two hundred meters in front of him. He kept the feeds from both HS3s active in the upper right, but the tunnels remained empty.

  Though no one spoke over the comm, as the minutes ticked past, he could almost feel the tenseness thickening the air. Someone was going to break the silence soon, he knew, if only to relieve that tension. Rade would welcome a little relief himself right about now.

  Sure enough:

  “Hey Bender!” Manic said over the comm from T2.

  Bender didn’t answer.

  “Bender....” Manic pressed.

  “What!” Bender said.

  “Got you a present back at the space station!” Manic said. “I forgot to give it to you.”

  “I don’t care, bitch,” Bender said.

  “I’ll give it to you when we get back,” Manic said.

  “That’s nice,” Bender said. “Because I don’t care.”

  “Sure you don’t,” Manic said.

  “What the hell is it, anyway?”

  “Ahh, I knew your curiosity would get to you,” Manic said. “Curious Bender, the curious little—”

  “Bitch, just tell me!” Bender said.

  “It’s a Gay Makeup kit,” Manic said.

  Bender didn’t answer for several seconds. Rade thought he must be fuming inside his mech. But Bender’s answer surprised him.

  “Sweet!” Bender said. “Now I can use it to make your ass look like a pussy. Thanks baby!”

  “I always knew you had a thing for my ass...” Manic said.

  “Oh yeah,” Bender said. “I rewind the video archives on my Implant to the times we used to shower together on the Teams, and I beat off to it every day.”

  “You guys showered together?” Fret said.

  “You showered with us, too, moron!” Bender said.

  “Yeah, but not in that way,” Fret said.

  “Whatever,” Bender said. “I ain’t talking to you fools until this battle is over. Gay Makeup kit. If a walrus had a dick, it would look like Manic.”

  “Uh, got news for you bro, walruses have dicks,” Manic said.

  “There you go,” Bender said.

  The team was quiet for a few moments. The tension had abated, if only a little.

  “You know, this is like a classic capture the flag defense evolution,” Lui said over the comm.

  “Minus the fortress, since we’re out in the open,” Fret said.

  “True,” Lui said. “But look at the terrain around you. Rocky. Filled with pits and hollows. A lot of places to drop down and take cover.”

  Lui was right. The rocky landscape surrounding the crevices was a series of hollows and tiny hillocks. Many places for cover.

  “I don’t think we’ll need to be taking cover,” TJ said. “The crabs were never very good at holding lasers.”

  TJ was also right.

  The two teams fell silent after that.

  They didn’t have long to wait before the crabs attacked.

  eighteen

  Rade was the first to spot movement on the LIDAR feed from the HS3s.

  “We have incoming,” Surus said.

  “I see it,” Rade said.

  “We’ve got movement here, too,” Tahoe said.

  “Prepare to defend,” Rade said.

  The white, wireframe images returned by the LIDAR showed a crawling mass of legs and carapaces approaching the opening.

  “Snakeoil, can we get a Hellfire lobbed into those tunnels, please?” Rade asked.

  “You got it,” Snakeoil replied.

  The missile struck a moment later. A flash filled the air above the crevice, and the LIDAR instantly became clouded as the tunnel filled with dust and debris. Because of the zero G, that debris wasn’t settling very fast.

  “Uh, bad idea,” Fret said. “We just lost our LIDAR.”

  “LIDAR can penetrate smoke, to a degree anyway,” Lui said. “Especially considering these puppies are multi-echo.”

  “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter, not when there’s a shitload of debris floating in your path,” Manic said. “Multi-echo LIDAR, echolocation, radar, none of it will help. On the plus side, maybe we caved the crevice.”

  Rade kept an eye on the opening in the rock far ahead of him. Smoke and debris floated above it.

  And then he saw hooked legs emerging from the crevice. Legs that were followed by thick black carapaces.

  “Snakeoil, it might be time for another Hellfire,” Rade said.

  “The missile can’t target the crevice properly, not with all the debris,” Snakeoil said. “I think it’s better to save the missiles until a slug decides to present itself.”

  “Probably right,” Rade said. He switched to addressing his team: “Looks like we get to fight after all. Bender?”

  “Bug spray time baby!” Bender transmitted.

  “Shaw, Surus, Harlequin, stay where you are,” Rade said. “Fire at the incoming from your positions.”

  “You got it,” Shaw said.

  Rade aimed the targeting reticle over the crabs that were pulling themselves onto the surface. The individual umbilicals formed a loop that floating up and over the carapaces back toward the crevice, making the lifelines easy targets. “Remember, easiest way to take them down is to shoot the umbilicals.”

  “We haven’t forgotten,” Shaw said.

  “Some of us weren’t around for that war...” Harlequin said. “Though I’ve read all about it, of course. Still, any tips are appreciated.”

  “You’ve got all the tips we can give.” Rade aimed at the umbilical of the crab in his sights and squeezed the trigger.

  The cord split in half, and the crab released its hold on the surface and floated upward lifelessly. Electron fired the leftmost cobra, separating another crab from its tether.

  Cobras went off all down the line, and more crabs floated upward dead.

  “Bug bug bugs!” Bender sung gleefully as he fired. “Bugity bugs. Killing me some bugs. I gots the greatest job in the world. Buggies!”

  The Hoplites continued to fire but the crabs kept coming.

  “Um, this is a lot of bugs,” Shaw said. “There must be more than one slug in that crevice.”

  “Either that or it’s a very big one,” Surus said.

/>   Rade checked the LIDAR feed from the HS3s, but the crevice was still obscured by floating debris, so he couldn’t tell either way.

  “We’re getting resistance over here, too,” Tahoe said.

  Rade glanced at the overhead map and saw that T2 was facing just as many opponents as T1.

  “Hang in there,” Rade said.

  For every two crabs Rade shot down, five emerged. The crabs quickly formed a swarm on the surface, with their dead floating upward and accumulating in the air five meters above.

  That swarm was fast closing on them, and outflanked the party on both sides.

  “We’re going to be surrounded soon...” Shaw said. “Are we sure we don’t want Snakeoil pitching in from above?”

  “We have to save the missiles for the slugs,” Rade said. “I want a tight pentagon formation, people! Two meter separation from the grappling hook. We protect that carbon fiber tether with everything we’ve got! Don’t let them through!”

  A glance at the overhead map told him that Tahoe was echoing his orders to T2.

  Rade and the others backed toward the embedded harpoon, each of them assuming a position on the five points of an invisible pentagram around the harpoon. They kept their weapons aimed at the incoming horde and continued firing.

  “Look at those buggies, so closely-packed, like they’re having some quick sex on the way to the battle,” Bender said. “You know what works best with closely-packed buggies having sex, don’t you?”

  Rade did.

  “Switch to grenades,” Rade said.

  He swiveled the grenade launchers into both hands and began unleashing frags into the incoming throng. When they detonated, the grenades offered little more than a flash in the atmosphereless environment, but he did get to watch spinning crab body parts fly upward at satisfying velocities. A well-placed frag could take out two or even three of the closely-packed crabs at the same time.

  When he exhausted the frags, he switched to electromagnetics. Those worked best against mechanical targets, but they would do against organics in a pinch. When each electromagnetic grenade detonated, electrical sparks flew outward, arcing between two to four crabs at once, usually stopping the three hearts each crab had in the process. The dead beasties floated upward, dark smears on the carapaces marking where the electrical bolts had entered.

  Rade used up the electromagnetics shortly. He hadn’t taken along any smoke or flashbang variants, which he considered useless in the atmosphereless environment anyway.

  Rade swiveled the cobras back into both hands of his mech and opened fire. He severed more umbilicals.

  “All right, Snakeoil, I think you’re going to have to use some of those missiles after all, even though the slugs haven’t shown themselves,” Rade said. “Because we’re getting overwhelmed down here!”

  The Motley Brown joined in shortly, and the flashes of Hellfires tore large swathes through the incoming creatures. Rade knew the Cutlass class vessel wouldn’t waste too many missiles, not when the bigger slugs awaited. Still, the few missiles that were fired helped. The orbiting ship also selectively engaged its Vipers, cutting away umbilicals after each recharge period.

  The crab swarm still closed. Soon, the ranks would be too near for the Hoplites to use their cobras effectively. The weapons were beginning to overheat as well.

  “Surus, I don’t suppose in Phant form you can harm crabs?” Rade asked.

  “Because of their partial inter-dimensional nature, I can’t,” Surus said. “I wish I could, otherwise I’d be out there already.”

  “I have an idea.” Shaw activated her jumpjets and sent her mech, Nemesis, out to one side. Then she swooped past Rade, perpendicular to the grappler site, flying just above the heads of the incoming horde. She held both of her arms outward and scooped up the umbilicals that looped upward just over the bodies of the crabs below her. She dragged the entire lot of them away from the site.

  “I love that idea!” Bender said.

  Rade and the others opened fire at the combined mass of cords above Shaw, and severed them all.

  But then the remaining crabs swarmed down upon Rade and the others.

  “Deploy shields!” Rade said. “Use them to shove away any crabs that get to close! And use your cobras as clubs. Bash these bastards!”

  Rade deployed his ballistic shield into his left arm, and kept his cobra deployed in the right. He bashed away one crab, and then fired his cobra at point blank range at the next. Bashed away another. Fired at the next. Shoved one away with his shield. Another. Unleashed his cobra.

  And so it went.

  Around him the other Hoplites struggled to keep the crabs away from the grappling hook site.

  Smaller flashes erupted around them, tearing through the horde, and Rade realized the Motley Brown was firing its smaller explosive slugs down into the fray now. Those slugs were meant for point defense, but they certainly worked well here, judging from the profusion of fresh body parts floating into the air.

  Crabs began launching from the surface, leaping up over the Hoplites and toward the carbon fiber cable that was anchored to the ship above.

  “Oh no you don’t, little shits!” Bender jetted upward and bashed the crabs away with Juggernaut.

  Shaw appeared a moment later, grabbing onto the cable with Nemesis, and together she and Bender slid up and down the cord, fending off the crabs from above.

  For how long the team fought like that, Rade didn’t know. The aliens kept coming, until they didn’t.

  The Hoplites were surrounded by a profusion of lifeless, floating crabs, crimped legs connected to blackened carapaces that formed a column of dead all around them. That column was so thick they could barely see past to the asteroid horizon beyond.

  “Well that was... exhausting,” Harlequin said.

  “Ha, if you think that was exhausting for a machine, imagine how it felt for us,” Bender said.

  “How’s your site, Tahoe?” Rade asked. He doubled-checked the health indicators across the team, and confirmed that everyone was in the green.

  “We got the crabs under control, for now,” Tahoe replied. “The bigger slugs still haven’t made an appearance. We’re debating whether to go down into the crevice over here.”

  Rade tried to aim toward the crevice closest to his own site, but couldn’t see it past the dead bodies.

  Juggernaut and Nemesis were still clinging to the carbon fiber cord several meters overhead.

  “Bender, are you able to see the crevice from up there?” Rade asked.

  “I am, it’s quiet,” Bender said. A moment later: “Wait. Scratch that. We’ve got one big schlong emerging.”

  “A schlong,” Manic said over the comm. “He calls the slugs ‘schlongs’ now.”

  “That’s their proper name,” Bender said. “Whereas ‘slug’ is the scientific name.”

  “Yeah, in Bender Speak,” Fret said from T2.

  Rade saw it then, a giant, wormlike shape arcing into the open space above the dead crabs that blocked his view. Apparently the slug had thrown itself from the crevice to barrel above the asteroid surface toward the carbon fiber cord. The umbilicals of roughly half the crabs led up to that worm, the organic tubules connecting all along the left and right sides of the humungous creature. Some of the dead crabs floating closest to the slug were ripped upward as their umbilicals grew taut.

  Another slug followed just behind it, muscles rippling beneath its black skin as it wriggled to and fro, perhaps trying vainly to find purchase upon the empty space above the asteroid, or maybe mistakenly believing its motion impelled it forward.

  They were certainly two of the larger specimens Rade had faced, though not the largest ever. He wished he had saved some grenades.

  “If anyone has any grenades, now is the time to use them!” Rade said. “Snakeoil, I hope you saved some Hellfires?”

  Bender and Surus unleashed several frags at the incoming slugs. Meanwhile Rade and the others unleashed their cobras, concentrating on the first cre
ature. The lasers did little against that tough outer hide; the grenades were just as bad, flashing upon impact, and only causing darker sections to appear against the backdrop of the already black skin.

  Both slugs phased out of existence as they approached, so that the team’s laser fire passed right through. Missiles from the Motley Brown chose that inopportune moment to strike, and passed right through the creatures to impact harmlessly against the surface.

  The silhouettes of the creatures were quickly growing near.

  “Snakeoil,” Rade transmitted. “Cut acceleration: move the ship closer to the surface and put some slack on the line so we can shove it out of the path of these things.”

  Snakeoil didn’t answer.

  “Damn it,” Rade said. The first slug would reach the line in three seconds.

  “Everyone, fire jumpjets, now!” Rade said. “Push the slug out of the way.”

  “But it’s still phased out!” Surus said.

  “It’ll come back,” Rade said.

  At least he hoped so. If it materialized back in this universe while they were inside of it, they might kill the slug, but its unchanged momentum would sever the cord. Then again, if that happened, they could always just reattach the split carbon fiber ends, though with another precious half-hour of time lost in the process.

  Rade cut his magnets and leaped upward. The near zero G caused him to rise rapidly, and he augmented his acceleration even further by firing his jumpjets. The others in T1 followed suit.

  Rade approached the outline of the big worm, but still it remained out of phase with this universe…

  nineteen

  Only a moment before Rade touched the ethereal outline formed by its exterior, the slug phased back into existence. It could have been a defense mechanism on the part of the slug—it probably didn’t want the large mechs inside of it. If Rade were an alien, he wouldn’t either...

  The team slammed into the solid underside one by one, and the Hoplites continued firing thrust against the weight, slightly altering the trajectory of the huge creature.