On His Terms (The Arrangement Series Book 1)

by Madison Quinn

  “What do you like to do when you are able to take a day or two off?”

  “I love spending time on the open water. I have a boat that I don’t get to use nearly as much as I should. There’s something so calming about being on the water, don’t you think?”

  “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been on a boat before.”

  “Never?” I shake my head. “Wow… you have no idea what you’re missing. I don’t know if it’s the rocking from the waves or just the fact that you can look for miles and see nothing but blue; whatever it is, it’s relaxing. You should try it sometime.”

  “Maybe.”

  “What about you? When you’re not working, what do you like to do?”

  “I like to read, so I spend a lot of time at the library. I’ve always loved to cook and bake although the last apartment I lived in wasn’t really conducive to cooking. Since I moved… since I’ve been staying downstairs, I have been cooking a lot more. I love to try new recipes or make up ones on my own. There’s something very satisfying about making an entire meal from scratch.”

  “I wouldn’t know. Unfortunately I can’t cook very much. A frozen pizza, spaghetti and anything that can be prepared in the microwave is pretty much the extent of my cooking skills.”

  “I’m sure you could follow a recipe—“

  “Nope. I can barely follow the instructions Julie leaves me on the food she freezes for the weekends when she is off. I get too distracted; I’ll start following a recipe or the heating instructions and then end up engulfed in emails or something work related. The next thing you know, whatever I was making is burned to a crisp.”

  “I guess I could see how that could happen.”

  We spend the next few hours learning more about each other as we lounge on the couch in the great room of Nicholas’s apartment. I find out he plays the guitar beautifully; I even talked him into playing a piece for me which was incredibly moving. I have absolutely no musical ability so watching someone play something so easily is amazing. I learn more about Nicholas’s family, although he doesn’t talk about the time in his life before he was adopted. I don’t ask about it because, not only is it really none of my business, but I want to respect his privacy in the way that he is respecting mine. At no point during our conversation does he ask any questions about my nightmare or even about my childhood. It dawns on me that he is likely purposely omitting those questions, knowing how I don’t like to talk about them.

  “Nicholas?” I hear Vivienne’s voice from the foyer.

  “Mom? What are you doing here?”

  “I told Kenzie… Oh hi Kenzie! I wasn’t expecting you to still be here,” she quickly hugs me hello when she realizes I’m sitting on the couch. “Are you still not feeling well Nicholas? Is your fever back? Is your stomach—“

  “I’m fine Mom. Kenzie and I were just talking,” Nicholas quickly interrupts her.

  “Oh good. I was hoping you didn’t start feeling bad again,” she sighs.

  “I’m going to gather my stuff,” I quickly excuse myself, wanting to give them some privacy.

  I make my way back to the guest room upstairs; the bed is still in complete disarray from last night. I quickly make the bed, not wanting to leave it a mess for Julie when she comes back tomorrow. I take a quick shower and stow the few belongings I brought with me on Friday when I packed in a hurry to stay the weekend. I straighten up the room, hoping to leave it as pristine as it was when I arrived on Friday—the last thing I want is to create more work for someone.

  “Nicholas?” I walk into the great room expecting to see Vivienne and Nicholas still talking.

  “In here,” his voice comes from his office.

  “I was thinking I would get going—“

  “Can you come in here for a moment?”

  “Sure.”

  “Have a seat.”

  I sit in a chair across from a stunning mahogany desk that is covered with papers and files. I glance around the room, three of the walls have floor to ceiling bookshelves built into them with each shelf filled with books. The other wall has a long table against it filled with different office supplies including what appears to be a printer, shredder, scanner and a fax machine. I suppose he is truly set up to work completely from home like he said.

  “This is for you,” he hands me a small white envelope. I open it, confused as to what it might be, and a wave of emotions come over me.

  “What is this?” I look at the check in complete disbelief.

  “Since we didn’t make arrangements for this weekend through Bridget I didn’t feel it was necessary to send the payment through her. If you would prefer that—“

  “Payment?”

  “For this weekend. I calculated your hourly rate by the number of hours you spent here this weekend. I added in a little extra since this was last minute and you had to miss your cooking classes—“

  “I… I can’t accept this.”

  “Why not?”

  “Nicholas… this weekend… we weren’t… ”

  I’m completely mortified that he would give me this check. I don’t understand why he suddenly reverted back to our business arrangement. Was it because I said I needed to leave? Was he always planning on paying me or did something happen to change his mind? I don’t think anything could have happened—

  “You spent the weekend with me; why would you not accept this?”

  “I… I didn’t do it because of our contract, Nicholas.”

  “Then why did you do it? Why didn’t you tell Carter and my mother that you were busy? You had plans, Kenzie. You were supposed to attend that class—“

  “You’re right I was. But I changed my plans. It wasn’t an issue. You needed someone here with you and I was able to rearrange things to be that person.”

  “Which is why you should take this,” he hands me the check that I laid on his desk.

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “No. I’m not taking this. We didn’t go through Bridget to arrange this, meaning this is outside our contract—“

  “Which is why—“

  “No. I refuse to accept this money, Nicholas. I didn’t do this because of a stupid contract.”

  “Then why did you do this?”

  “Because you needed someone!”

  “But why you? You could have walked away. I don’t understand why you would do something like this and then not let me pay you!”

  “Then I guess you don’t know me at all.”

  “I know you need money, which was the reason you signed up with Bridget to begin with. You wanted to better your life. You wanted to go back to school and finish your degree. You wanted a safer place to live. Take this money and use it for that, Kenzie. Please… you earned it this weekend.”

  “I earned it?”

  “Yes… you took care of me this weekend. You made sure I stayed hydrated, you gave me medicine round the clock, you stayed up half the night and you cooked for me.”

  “And what about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “Should I pay you?”

  “Pay me? For what? What would you pay me for?”

  “For last night… should I pay you for the time you spent… comforting me?”

  “What?!?! No, of course not! That was different!”

  “Why? Why was it different?”

  “I… I don’t know it just was,” he answers quietly.

  “I’m not taking this money, Nicholas. This weekend had nothing to do with our contract with Bridget and if you think that’s all this was…”

  “Then why did you do it?”

  “Good bye Nicholas.”

  Chapter 23

  Nicholas

  What the fuck just happened? Did she really just walk out on me? I thought I was doing the right thing; I thought I was doing what she expected. Why the fuck would she not accept the check? Who the fuck turns down twenty thousand dollars?

  Earlier

  “How are you feeling Nicholas?”


  “I’m good Mom. Kenzie made me an egg white omelet this morning and I had about half a cup of coffee. My stomach feels fine and my fever hasn’t returned.”

  “That’s such a relief, dear. Most of the people who attended the dinner with you are still in the hospital and are struggling to keep even liquids down. It probably helped that you didn’t eat all of the chicken they served or you would be in the same boat.”

  “I don’t know how anyone finished that dinner, it was so bland. Kenzie and I were even talking about stopping somewhere for dinner after the awards ceremony since we were both still hungry.”

  “You’re really lucky to have Kenzie, son. Not a lot of women would have given up their weekend to take care of their sick boyfriend.”

  “I’m very grateful she was able to keep me out of the hospital.”

  “Why haven’t you brought her to Sunday dinner yet? She really is a wonderful woman, a real breath of fresh air.”

  “I know, I will. We’ve been busy and our schedules don’t always match up,” I hate lying to her but I never expected this arrangement to become so personal. Obviously I knew Kenzie would meet my parents at the gala and possibly other events, but I never expected my mother to take such a liking to her. I never pictured her attending Sunday dinners at my parents’ house, hugging my mom… that she would fit in so well.

  “She is so much better than—“

  “Don’t say her name.”

  “I’m just saying, there’s no way ‘she’ would have given up her weekend to take care of you. I don’t think that bitch ever cared about anyone other than herself.”

  I’m floored… I can’t remember the last time I heard my mother curse. She doesn’t use that type of language, not ever. We were never allowed to curse growing up and even know she is quick to reprimand us if we use that type of language in her presence. How did I not see how much my mother hated her?

  “I never realized how much you didn’t like her.”

  “You were blinded by her and unfortunately only saw what ‘she’ wanted you to see. No one liked her; it wasn’t just me. Your dad, Austin and Cara… no one could stand her. Don’t you remember how uncomfortable those dinners were when you would bring ‘her’ over? I suspect she felt it and why she suddenly started making plans every Sunday night.”

  “I guess she did.”

  “She never would have done what Kenzie did for you this weekend, son, you have to know that. She would have asked what was in it for her. She would have expected something in return. People like her don’t do things for other people if there’s nothing for them to gain.”

  “Kenzie did—“

  “Kenzie’s nothing like ‘she’ was, anyone could see that. Kenzie loves you—“

  “No—“

  “She does. I’m guessing you two haven’t told each other that yet, but I can see it every time you two are together. She gave up her weekend to move in here with you, and despite what she says, I’m sure she had something to do—“

  “She was registered for a cooking class this weekend.”

  “Yet she didn’t blink an eye to give it all up for you, son. I’m assuming she expects absolutely nothing in return either. She’s just that type of person. She’s good for you Nicholas, and I just don’t mean because of this weekend. You stayed the entire night at the New Beginnings Gala, something you haven’t done since you were a teenager and I forced you to stay. You just seem happier with Kenzie; happier than I think I ever saw you with…”

  I don’t know what to think anymore. I thought I was doing the right thing by compensating her for the time she spent here this weekend. I assumed the only reason she stayed on Friday night rather than say she was busy was because she saw a way to make more money. I know she wants to go back to school and those cooking classes couldn’t have been cheap. Even without paying rent on an apartment, I know she still has bills to pay. Was it completely wrong to assume she saw a way to make money and put some aside? Her bank account barely had a couple hundred dollars in it when Carter ran her background check. How could she not see this as an opportunity to make a large amount of money all at once? As a way to build up her bank account so she could afford to go back to school? How could I know that my mom might have been right? That Kenzie never expected a payout for this weekend?

  I replay the conversation with Kenzie before she left my office and try to figure out what I missed or where I went wrong.

  “I refuse to accept this money, Nicholas. I didn’t do this because of a stupid contract.”

  “Then why did you do this?”

  “Because you needed someone!”

  “But why you? You could have walked away; I don’t understand why you would do something like this and then not let me pay you!”

  “Then I guess you don’t know me at all Nicholas.”

  FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

  “Should I pay you for the time you spent comforting me?”

  “What?!?! No, of course not! That was different!”

  “Why? Why was it different?”

  “I… I don’t know it just was.”

  FUCK! FUCK!! FUCK!!

  I fucked up… I fucked up big time.

  I never considered how she would feel about me coming into her room last night after her nightmare. We both avoided talking about it which I thought was a good thing. I thought I was keeping things separate. I thought I was keeping things from becoming awkward between us. Since she didn’t bring it up, I assumed she didn’t want to talk to about it. I went into her room last night to comfort her; I couldn’t stand the thought of her being in pain even if the pain was only in a nightmare. I didn’t do it because I thought she would pay me for doing it! How could she think—

  FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Oh fuck… oh fuck… oh fuck…

  She agreed to stay with me Friday night because she wanted to comfort me; she wanted to take care of me the same way I wanted to take care of her last night. FUCK!!!!!! How the fuck do I fix this? How fucking stupid could I be? I should have known that she wouldn’t have wanted the money. I should have known that she wouldn’t have expected to be paid for taking care of me. I need to find a way to fix this. How the fuck do I fix this? I should call her… FUCK… I don’t have her phone number. All part of this stupid contract with Bridget so we both can keep our privacy; I don’t think privacy matters anymore, we fucking slept in the same bed last night!

  God, it felt so good to have Kenzie in my arms last night. I woke up a few hours after we both fell asleep and just watched her sleep for a little while. She looked so peaceful; it was hard to believe that the woman in my arms was the one who thought no one would ever love her. I don’t understand how Kenzie could have such a low opinion of herself. This is the woman who gave up everything for me this weekend so I wouldn’t have to go to a hospital. This is a woman who agreed to help Cara with a dance auction without even knowing what that would entail.

  I eventually fell back to sleep but not until she rolled over and snuggled back into me so her back was against my chest. It was as if she was seeking me out in her sleep. I’ve never slept with a woman before, not all night… I would leave after they fell asleep and go back to my room. I never shared a bed with her; the risk of having a nightmare was always too great. I would never forgive myself if I accidently injured her during a nightmare, although after what she did, I might reconsider that notion. Thinking back to that time in my life, I don’t know that I ever really wanted to sleep with her. She was a good fuck but I never held her in my arms the way I held Kenzie last night. I never wanted to hold her in my arms.

  Yet last night, I couldn’t bring myself to leave Kenzie. Even when I was awake and watching her sleep, I knew I should have left to keep things professional between us yet I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I have never felt this way about someone before. I’m not sure what it means feeling like this with Kenzie last night.

  I don’t know what to do. The lines are getting blurred; this weekend has changed everything. I had a
hard enough time keeping my thoughts professional after seeing her in that bikini but after this weekend I don’t know how I can still see her as a business transaction. How can I look at her and only think of our contract? How do I forget what it felt like to have her body against mine?

  But more importantly, how do I fix what happened tonight? I may not fully understand why Kenzie would give up her entire weekend, including the classes she has been looking forward to, just to take care of me but I now know it wasn’t about the money. Perhaps she just did it because that’s the kind of person she is and to her it meant nothing. But what if by some chance it did mean something? What if she is having trouble with the blurred lines between us, too? Maybe the kiss at dinner the other night wasn’t just for show…

  If Kenzie feels that way, I’m even more fucked that I thought I was. I can’t have her thinking of this arrangement as anything more than a business transaction. I’m the last person she needs to be falling for. I’m no good for her… I’m nothing that she needs in her life. She needs someone without baggage, without complications and I come with a truckload of shit.

  “Good evening, Mr. Parker,” Carter pulls me from my thoughts a few hours later.

  “Carter… I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow morning? I thought your flight was Monday?”

  “It wasn’t but Julie and I were able to take an earlier flight. How are you feeling, sir?”

  “Much better, thank you. Kenzie left a few hours ago after my mother gave me the all clear. I think I’m going to work from home tomorrow and will return to the office on Tuesday.”

  “Very good, sir. Is there anything you need?”

  “I need to send flowers to Kenzie. Can you arrange for someone to deliver her a bouquet tomorrow when she gets home from the bakery?”

  “Of course sir. What would you like the card to say?”

  “I’m sorry, please call me. Have it signed with my first name and my cell phone number.”