Callaghan's Way

by Marie Ferrarella

  How could he sound so calm? This was Ethan they were talking about, not a story she was reading in the newspaper. Ethan. Her only child.

  “Experienced campers get lost in the woods all the time.” And some of them die. She couldn’t force herself to form the last words.

  He read her thoughts. It wasn’t difficult. “That’s not going to happen here,” he said fiercely. He set his mouth hard as he slanted a look at her. “You’ve got to believe that.”

  Her breath was hitching in her throat as sobs clawed to be set free. “Do you?”

  There wasn’t even a split second’s hesitation. “Yes.” He forced himself to become detached. A degree of detachment was what had seen him through some very tight situations. Believing you were doomed only set you up for that eventuality.

  Rachel hung on to Kirk’s strength as if it were a tangible thing, as if it were her life raft, carrying her through shark-infested waters.

  She stared at the road, impatient to be there, to be doing something other than just impotently sitting in a vehicle. “Can’t you drive faster?”

  He was already traveling well over the speed limit. “Not without a pilot’s license. We’re lucky this isn’t a regular Monday, with rush-hour traffic.”

  “Yes, lucky.” She repeated the word hollowly.

  Kirk placed a hand over hers and squeezed lightly, never taking his eyes off the road. “We will be.”

  She nodded mechanically. Numbness was mercifully spilling all through her.

  But despite the numbness, she’d never experienced such sheer terror in her life.

  * * *

  Cameron was waiting for them just inside the grounds, by the guard’s hut. When he saw the minivan pulling in on the serpentine road, he ran to meet them.

  “Any word?” Rachel cried. She jumped out of the vehicle before Kirk even pulled up the hand brake.

  Cameron caught hold of her shoulders to steady her. “No, but leaping from a moving car isn’t going to help find him, Rach.”

  She shrugged out of his grasp, waving away his words. She was in no mood for any kind of lecture. Her nerves were completely frayed. Cameron had given her no details on the telephone. She hadn’t given him the opportunity, cutting off his words by saying that she was leaving immediately.

  “How did it happen?”

  Cameron spread his hands helplessly. “I don’t know. We were all together at breakfast yesterday morning. Ethan said he wanted to see something. He promised he’d be right back. I didn’t think anything of it, until he didn’t return.”

  “How long was that?” Kirk asked quietly. He slipped a protective arm around Rachel’s waist. She was trembling.

  “Half an hour, maybe forty minutes.” Cameron remembered the uneasy feeling that had spread through him when he realized that his nephew hadn’t come back.

  Rachel’s eyes widened. “You let him wander away for forty minutes?”

  “Rachel, we’re camping. The point of the trip was to unwind, to let him have his space.”

  “And now he has it. Out there somewhere.” She gestured around at the grounds as she struggled to keep from becoming hysterical. Half a dozen news stories raced and collided in her mind, stories about children being mauled by bears while camping, about people getting lost and not being recovered until it was too late.

  Kirk saw emotions washing over her face. He gripped her hand hard. “Don’t worry, we’ll find him.”

  “Where?” She knew she was lashing out, but she couldn’t help herself. She should never have let Ethan go. “Where are we going to find him?” She rubbed her hands over her arms, the chill within her surfacing. “It was cold last night.”

  “Ethan knows enough to find shelter and try to keep himself warm,” Cameron interjected.

  Her brother’s words held no comfort for her. “He knows enough not to wander off, too, and he did. Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

  He sighed, dragging his hand through his hair. He’d already explained that on the phone. “I kept hoping we’d find him. I didn’t want to alarm you.”

  Kirk exchanged a look with Cameron. He turned toward Rachel. “Maybe you’d better stay in the car...” he began gently. In her present state of mind, she would be more of a liability than an asset during the search. He didn’t want to have to worry about her, as well.

  She shook her head, refusing to entertain the suggestion for even a moment.

  “No, I’m going with you.” There was no arguing with her. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing, not when he’s out there somewhere, cold and alone. Frightened.” Her eyes were pleading with him to help her, to support her. “He needs me.”

  “Shhh...” Kirk kissed the top of her head. “We’ll find him.” He turned to Cameron. “Did you notify the ranger station?”

  It was the first thing he’d done after it became evident that Ethan hadn’t just stepped away, he told them. He began to lead them back to the campsite where they’d originally been. Ironically, it wasn’t far from where Kirk had parked the minivan.

  “Yesterday. Vikerson, Trask and Delgado are all combing the woods right now,” he told Rachel, referring to the men who’d come camping with him. Their sons remained at the campsite, just in case, with a fourth man. “Along with some volunteers, and the rangers.”

  Cameron stopped for a moment, bracketing Rachel’s shoulders. She’d never felt as fragile to him as she did at this moment. “We’ll find him, Rach. I promise you, we’ll find him.”

  “We have to.” She uttered the words stoically.

  “C’mon, let’s go. We’re wasting time,” Cameron said, leading the way back to the campsite.

  Rachel looked around, taking in her surroundings, praying the mild weather would continue. Praying they’d find Ethan before long.

  * * *

  The search party was broken up into twos. Communication would be maintained by walkie-talkies. Cameron paired himself off with one of his detectives, while Kirk took Rachel with him. There had never been any question as to the way they would separate.

  Struggling, Rachel did what she could to bury her feelings and maintain a positive attitude.

  They had come here, to San Gabriel Mountains Park, a great deal when they were young, she, Cameron and Kirk. Her father had a love for the outdoors that he had passed on to his children. The same love had completely eluded her mother. Mrs. Reed had come along on a few trips, hating every bug-infested minute of it. Her reason for doing it had been simple. She’d done it for the children. Rachel remembered teasing her mother about that, about hating the whole idea of camping.

  Now she hated it.

  It was supposed to have been good for Ethan to come out here with Cameron, she thought miserably as she made her way up the incline behind Kirk.

  She gritted her teeth, scrambling for a hold. Lost in thought, she had missed her footing and almost fallen.

  Kirk swung around at the sound of the loosened rocks falling. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m fine. Keep going,” she ordered. Getting herself hurt wasn’t going to do Ethan any good. And neither was upbraiding herself. She could do that all she wanted after it was over.

  After they found him, she amended, realizing the implications of her thoughts.

  A chill akin to a premonition passed over her soul. Rachel angrily dismissed it. There were no such things as premonitions. There were only fears.

  They’d been going up the steep path for a while now. The terrain had flattened considerably.

  Kirk turned and looked at Rachel over his shoulder. She looked frayed and exhausted. They’d been searching for over three hours with no luck, no indication that they were even going in the right direction.

  “Why don’t we turn back? Maybe someone’s already found him and they just haven’t contacted us yet.” He glanced down at the silent walkie-talkie strapped to his belt.

  She knew he was just saying that. He didn’t believe it. Rachel heard the distant sound of a helicopter. They were still searchi
ng. “No.”

  Kirk didn’t move any farther. “Rachel, you look exhausted.”

  No one was going to stop her, not even Kirk. “I said no.” Her expression softened, pleading with him. “He’s out here. I can feel it. Please, Kirk.”

  He tried again, though he knew it was futile. If he was in her place, he wouldn’t give up either. “I can go on ahead if you want—”

  “We can go on.” Anger flashed in her eyes. “I’m his mother, not you.”

  This wasn’t the time to argue with her. But it was the time to make something clear. “I care about him, too, Rachel.”

  She felt ashamed for carrying on this way. Kirk was out here with her, looking for Ethan. She shouldn’t be biting his head off, just because she was afraid.

  “I know you do. I’m sorry.” She pushed her hair from her face. “Let’s just keep going, all right?”

  He nodded and turned back toward the path.

  Between men provided by the ranger station, Cameron’s men and the volunteers who had joined them, they’d made a complete wide circle around the area where Ethan had last been seen. The men were fanning out farther and farther from the center in their attempt to track down where a small boy might have gone. The helicopter had been recruited earlier that day by one of Cameron’s men, whose brother ran a flight service.

  No one had seen the boy.

  Rachel felt hope ebbing out of her.

  Kirk offered Rachel his hand. The incline was growing steep again. On the far side was a narrow path that broke off into a cave. The other path went straight up to high ground.

  Every bone in her body ached. She was miles past tired. But she kept pushing herself, hoping that they’d find him in another few minutes. She’d give anything if she could just hear—

  Rachel’s head snapped up, exhaustion falling away as if it had only been a hallucination. “Wait! Kirk, do you hear something?”

  He paused, listening, then shook his head. There was nothing out of the ordinary.

  “Just the wind. It tends to be louder up here, remember? Your dad used to say it was angels singing.” He’d forgotten all about the silly story until just this moment.

  But Rachel was adamant. She strained and heard it again. Euphoria rushed through her.

  “Not angels singing—crying!” She looked up at Kirk, her eyes bright with hope. “That’s crying! Listen!”

  Kirk tilted his head slightly, holding his breath and listening very intently. And then he heard the sound as well. He saw the way Rachel was watching him, hope and fear washing over her face. He wasted no words confirming what she believed she heard.

  “That way...” Kirk pointed toward the mouth of the cave. Some distance away, it was partially obscured by brush, debris and leaves.

  “Ethan!” Rachel called. Her throat was hoarse from crying out his name. Please, God, let him answer! Please! “Ethan, it’s Mom! Where are you?”

  Nothing but a whimper answered her. But the noise was growing louder.

  Kirk made sure he kept Rachel close behind him as he quickly made his way up the incline. His movements were fast and sure, as if he’d been born part cougar.

  As they drew closer, the debris turned out to be a mound of leaves. They appeared to have been gathered together just inside the mouth of the cave.

  “Ethan!” Kirk cried out. The leaves moved, and Rachel clutched Kirk’s hand so hard she broke the skin with her nails.

  Leaving Kirk behind, she raced ahead to the cave. Kirk caught up to her and stopped her from frantically digging through the mound.

  “Careful,” he cautioned. “It might only be an animal. Ethan?” he said softly.

  The mound shifted and rose until suddenly a dirty golden head broke through. Leaves rained down from Ethan’s hair.

  “Kirk?” Ethan blinked, his face puffy and red from tears, both old and new. He’d cried himself to sleep last night, and huddled here, half out of his head, waiting and praying for morning. When it came, he was too afraid to move, too afraid to go anywhere else for fear of missing someone if they were looking for him.

  “Mom?” Staring at her as if she were a mirage, Ethan rubbed his eyes. Overcome with joy, he reached out to her just as she embraced him. He squealed as she crushed him to her, for once happy for the contact. The ragged sigh he emitted was heart-wrenching. “I kept dreaming that you came to rescue me, but every time I woke up, you weren’t here.”

  She held him to her, running her hands through his hair, down his back. Rachel didn’t even know where to begin to sort out her emotions.

  “We’re here now.” Gratitude brimmed in her eyes as she looked over her son’s head at Kirk. “Oh, baby, are you all right?” She held him back, looking him over. “Did you get hurt?”

  He shook his head, trying very hard not to cry again. “I’m okay,” he mumbled.

  Kirk felt emotions he had never realized he possessed threatening to choke off his windpipe. He stroked the boy’s hair. “What made you go off like that?”

  Ethan’s ruddy cheeks became even more flushed. “I thought I saw a deer.” He turned toward his mother. “I wanted to take a picture for you.” It was only then that she realized that Ethan still had Kirk’s camera strapped around his neck. He fingered the strap as he spoke. “But the deer kept moving away. I was trying to be real quiet. I followed, sneaking up on him, and then I didn’t know where I was.”

  He shrugged helplessly and sniffed, then screwed up his face as he attempted to push fresh tears back. His mother was here. His mother and Kirk had come for him. He shouldn’t be crying again.

  Pressing his lips together, he held up the camera for Kirk’s benefit. “I kept your camera safe.”

  Kirk hugged the boy to him, then tousled his hair. “The main thing is that you kept yourself safe. Cameras can always be replaced.”

  “Even this one?” Kirk had told him it was the first camera he had ever owned, and that it was special.

  “Even this one.” Kirk crouched down to the boy’s level. “Pretty smart, covering yourself with leaves like that.”

  “I had to,” Ethan said honestly, not bothering with pride. “I was scared that something would come and eat me.” He didn’t notice that his mother shivered when he said that. “And then it got so cold...”

  “We’ll get you warm again,” Kirk promised. He picked the boy up in his arms. “C’mon, let’s get you back to the campsite. There’re going to be an awful lot of people who’ll be happy to see you.” He nodded at the walkie-talkie. “Rachel, call in and tell them Ethan’s safe.”

  Rachel unhooked it from his belt. It took her only a moment to reach the other search parties. Then she discontinued communication and wiped away the tears of joy that were falling with the heel of her hand.

  Ethan stared at her. “Why are you crying, Mom?”

  She touched his arm, as if to reassure herself that he was really there, then glanced at Kirk before answering. “Because I’m so happy.”

  Happy tears rose to Ethan’s eyes, as well. He hid them by burying his head in Kirk’s shoulder as he carried him down the incline.

  * * *

  The hospital corridor had pastel walls and was dotted with cheerful lithographs that depicted scenes of children romping with small animals. Kirk barely noticed the decor, so focused was he on what was happening behind the door of room 122.

  Cameron stood beside him, as restless as he as they waited for the doctor to emerge from Ethan’s room. Ethan had wanted to go home, but his request had been temporarily vetoed. Kirk had convinced him that being checked over would put his mother’s mind at ease.

  Cameron offered Kirk one of the two candy bars he’d gotten from the vending machine. “I can’t tell you what having you here did for Rachel.” He unwrapped the chocolate bar, remembering that he’d eaten only sporadically since Ethan disappeared. “And me.”

  Kirk held his candy bar in his hand. He had no appetite. “Yeah, like you needed your hand held.”

  “Figuratively.” Camero
n took a bite of the bar. “Hey, even big detective types need someone to rely on once in a while.”

  Kirk turned toward him and raised a dubious brow. “You?”

  Cameron took another bite, then grinned. “You know any other big detective types? Seriously, thanks for being there for us.”

  There was no trash can nearby, so Cameron pocketed the wrapper, then looked at Kirk. “Maybe I haven’t said it very much, but I couldn’t have picked out a better friend than you.” Kirk stared at him, a glimmer of surprise in his eyes. “What, all these years you thought maybe it was a one-way street?”

  Kirk had always thought of himself as the one attempting to warm himself by the fire. The Reeds’ fire. “I was the one invading your family.”

  “It’s only invading if you’re not welcome. And you always were. You going to eat that?” He nodded at the candy bar in Kirk’s hand.

  “No, here.”

  Cameron unwrapped the second bar. “I always knew I could depend on you,” he continued seriously. “No strings attached, no motives. That’s a hell of a mind-easer.”

  Pleased, surprised, Kirk said nothing for a moment. He didn’t have to. The look in his eyes told Cameron everything.

  “Yeah, me too, buddy,” Cameron murmured.

  They turned as the door behind them opened. Rachel came out. The lines of tension were gone from her face. Both men gathered around her. They already knew what she was going to say, but they still wanted to hear her say it.

  “He’s going to be fine. The doctor doesn’t need to keep him for observation overnight.” She looked up at Cameron. “It seems that his uncle taught him survival well.” She placed a hand on Cameron’s shoulder. “He’s getting dressed now. Why don’t you go in and help him?”

  “Always bossy,” he commented to Kirk with a laugh. Relief making his step lighter, Cameron went in to join his nephew.

  Rachel turned to look at Kirk.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly. He began to shrug, but she placed her hand on his shoulder, preventing him from completing the motion. “It’s nothing to brush off.” Her eyes held his. “You kept me from going to pieces. You pulled me out of emotional quicksand and helped me look for my son. There aren’t enough words in the world to thank you.”