A blonde moved in front of Liam, poking him in the chest. “I know you from somewhere.”
Liam stared her down, clearly annoyed.
“You’re going to be in my bed tonight…I can see the future.”
Liam stepped around her and pretended she didn’t exist. “I just wish we would get married already so I could wear a damn wedding band.”
“I don’t think the girls would care,” I said honestly.
We searched the second floor until we found his buddies.
“Hey, man.” Liam shook hands with them. “Fun gig.”
“Yeah.” A guy with surfer blonde hair swayed while he held his beer. “The Phi Beta Kappa Sorority has so many hot chicks. I want to nail them all—twice.”
Liam nodded but didn’t say anything.
“Aren’t you married or something?” Another guy asked.
“Or something,” Liam responded.
“Man, that blows,” the first guy said. “I’m going to be a bachelor for life.”
So far, these guys weren’t my favorite people in the world.
Liam introduced me. “This is my buddy, Scotty.”
I shook hands with them, putting on a face.
“You married too?” one guy asked.
“No. I’m a terminal bachelor.” Not really. I just wanted to pretend to be a manwhore. If I were, maybe I could find the other perverts, the one with the date-rape drug.
“I like this guy,” he said. “He’s one of us.”
Liam didn’t respond.
I wasn’t sure how Liam wanted to go about this. Should we just bluntly ask what we wanted to know, or should we not draw suspicion? I preferred being discreet. If I found the culprit and killed him, I wouldn’t want anything to be traced back to me.
“So, any easy girls you know of?” I asked.
“Most of them are easy,” the guy said with a laugh. “But they’re usually the mediocre ones. The hot ones are picky. You usually have to buy them dinner first.”
“Or slip something into their drink,” Liam added.
He laughed. “I can tell you had a wild time before you settled down.”
“I guess,” Liam said non-committedly.
“I wish they sold that stuff at Target,” I blurted. “Make my life a lot easier.”
He shook his head. “Nah. I don’t need help getting pussy.”
Okay…I liked him a little more now. “Does that stuff come through here a lot?”
He shrugged. “It happens.”
Be more specific, jackass.
“I knew a guy doing it for a while,” Liam said. “He had to stop because he almost got caught.”
“Does he go here?” I asked.
“I think he was in this fraternity,” Liam said.
The guy shrugged. “I guess I’m not surprised. A few guys here are somewhat known for it.”
My heart kicked into overdrive. How did I ask without being obvious? “Are they selling any?”
“I have no idea, man. I don’t even know them.” He downed the beer from his red Solo cup.
“Can you tell me who he is so I can ask?” Tell me. Come on, tell me.
He rubbed his chin. “I think his name is Connor…or is it Jet?”
How could you possibly get those two names mixed up?
“Do you know what he looks like?” Liam asked.
“Yeah, I’d recognize him in a crowd. I don’t know him that well so I couldn’t introduce you.”
“That’s fine,” I blurted. We were so close.
Liam and I both stood there, waiting for the guy to move.
“What? You want me to show you right now?” he asked incredulously.
Liam pulled out a fifty and handed it to him. “If you would be so kind.”
The guy’s eyes flashed open before he tucked it into his pocket. “You got it, man. Follow me.”
We followed him through the three stories of the frat house. It was crowded, and a lot of people were huddled together, facing different directions. It was nearly impossible to get a good look of everyone. We ran into Ash but he seemed to drunk to even recognize us. After half an hour of searching, he shrugged. “Sorry. I don’t see him anywhere.”
“Is he usually at these parties?” Liam asked.
“Yeah. He’s one of the officers of the fraternity,” he answered.
“What was his name again?” I asked. A name would help immensely.
“I think it’s Dylan…” He rubbed his chin again.
I hated him again.
“How many officers are there?” Liam asked.
“Are you guys detectives?” the guy asked with a laugh.
I guess we were making it a little obvious. “We’ll come by at the next party and try to catch him then.”
“Sounds good, guys. See you around.” He left us alone in the crowd.
I sighed in irritation. That didn’t go over as well as I thought. I assumed we would find him tonight and have the body buried before sunrise.
“We’ll find him.” Liam gave me a firm look. “Don’t worry about it.”
“It might not even be this same guy,” I argued.
“And if it isn’t, he’ll know someone else known for it. You know, it would be a million times easier if you just asked Livia.”
I glared at him. “I said no.”
“Fine.”
We headed back to the entrance.
I stilled when I spotted Livia at the end of the stairs.
Is that her? What was she doing here?
She had a fearful look on her face. It seemed like she might vomit. Then I remembered seeing Ash earlier. She was probably here to pick him up. Couldn’t that drunk fucker call a cab or something?
“Isn’t that Livia?” Liam asked.
I didn’t respond because I was focused on reaching her. I shoved through the crowd until I finally reached the end of the stairs. When she looked at me, her eyes widened in surprise. Her eyes noticed my shirtless physique. She didn’t look happy to see me. Actually, she looked heartbroken.
“Livia, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She darted past me and headed up the stairs.
I went back upstairs and shoved Liam as I passed. “Livia!”
She turned around. “I’m picking up my brother and I’m in a hurry.” She continued up the stairs again.
I trailed behind her until I finally caught up to her. “Let me help you.”
“I don’t want your help.” She was practically on the verge of tears.
I grabbed her arm and steadied her. “Livia, what’s wrong?”
She yanked her arm away. “We’ve been broken up for two weeks and you’re already back to what you used to be.”
What was she talking about?
“I obviously didn’t mean as much to you as you claimed.” She turned her face away then searched for her brother.
I walked around her then blocked her way. “Back to what I used to be? I’m not with anybody. I’m not hooking up with anybody.”
“Then why are you here?” she demanded.
Fuck. Why was I here? I wasn’t wearing a shirt and I fit right in. “Uh…”
She moved around me again, trying to get away from me as quickly as possible.
“Livia, it’s not how it looks.”
“Leave me alone.” She moved down the hallway toward the other end of the house.
The music was too loud and I was sick of screaming over the bass to be heard. I had to rely on sight more than sound to communicate. I grabbed her arm then yanked her into an unlocked room. It was a closet. It was a tight fit but I dragged her inside and shut the door. The music was muffled.
I could hear myself think again.
“What the hell are you doing?” she snapped.
“I just want to talk to you without having to scream.”
“And I don’t want to talk to you at all.” She moved for the door but I held her back.
“I’m not hooking up with anyone, Livia. I haven’t been with
anyone but you.” Uh, I guess that wasn’t totally true… But I kicked Amanda out and nothing else happened. That wasn’t important right now. “You think I would beat the shit out of some guy if I wasn’t still hooked on you? Do you think I would be this miserable if I weren’t still hung up on you?”
“Then why are you at a fraternity party—this fraternity party.”
Now I understood why she was upset. She associated this place with scumbags. I’m pretty sure she experienced her trauma in this very building. Anytime she was inside of it, she went haywire. She was sporadic and emotional. She wasn’t herself.
I didn’t know how to answer her question. I didn’t want to tell her the truth. That would just make it worse. “I can’t tell you.”
“What? You can’t tell me?” I could barely see her face in the darkness but I could imagine how it looked.
“I know that sounds weird, but if you have any trust for me at all—at all—then please just take my word for it. I’ve never lied to you or misled you. It’s not in my nature. Please just trust me on this.”
“You realize how weird that sounds?”
“I know. I promise I’ll tell you one day.”
She was quiet for a while. All I could hear was her breathing.
“My feelings for you are exactly as they’ve always been. I’m lost without you…” This isn’t how I expected his conversation to happen, not in a small closet at a party. “I find it hard to believe that you don’t feel what I feel. Tears immediately fell from your eyes when you thought I was sleeping around again. If you don’t want me and you want our relationship to be over, then why would you care?”
Her eyes closed and she kept her thoughts to herself.
“Livia, what’s the real reason? Why are you pushing me away?”
“I just…can’t be with you.”
I was getting sick of this same vague excuse. “Can you give me something better than that?”
She closed her eyes again.
“Livia, why are you hurting me like this?”
“I don’t want to…I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“The right thing?” Was she crazy? “How can keeping us apart be the right thing? I’m miserable and you’re miserable. Let’s just go back to what we once were. I’m angry by this entire ordeal, but I’ll let it go and start new with you. Because I love you…”
She took a deep breath then opened her eyes.
“Livia, come on…”
“Can I think about it?”
My patience was disappearing. “What is there to think about?”
She opened the door then stepped out.
I followed her but didn’t drag her back inside. Her amateur behavior and childish games were getting on my nerves. I wanted to yell at her again but I held it back. All it would do is push her further away.
She finally found Ash. He was talking to a blonde, a very familiar blonde.
Amanda was chatting with him, wearing a pink bikini that was as bright as a bottle of Pepto-Bismol.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Livia grabbed Ash by the arm. “Why do you call me to get you and make me drag you out? This is the last time, Ash.”
“Geez, calm down.” He yanked his arm away.
Amanda turned her gaze on me. “Coming back for another round?” The irritation was in her eyes. She glanced at Livia then back at me. The threat was clear on her face.
I needed to get out of this situation. “Ash, let’s go.”
“What is she talking about?” Livia asked.
“I’m referring to last week.” She put her hands on her hips. “When Scotty and I hooked up at a bar and went back to his place.”
I was going to strangle this bitch.
Livia’s face contorted in pain. Her breathing went haywire and she looked like she lost the world. She wouldn’t look at me, staring at the ground.
“What?” Ash asked, clearly confused.
Livia stormed off, abandoning her brother.
Fuck.
I chased after her.
Ash grabbed me by the arm. “You cheated on my sister?” The rage was in his eyes.
“No. We were broken up.” I yanked my arm back. “And I didn’t do anything anyway.” I chased after Livia, following her until she ran out of the house. She was running across the lawn, heading for her car. “Livia!”
She ran faster.
I sprinted after her, catching up to her within seconds. I grabbed her arm and made her halt in her tracks. She tried to twist away but I wouldn’t let her go. I tightened my hold on her, forcing her to face me.
“Let go of me!” She screamed then tried to pull away.
“Listen to me!”
She got free then backed away, a frightened look on her face. “Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.” She stumbled to the ground, cowering. The panic was in her eyes. “Stop.”
I didn’t move. “Livia, I’m not going to hurt you.”
She pulled her knees to her chest and breathed hard.
Fuck. Sometimes I forgot she was a rape victim.
I lowered myself to the grass and sat down, not touching her. “I would never make you do anything you were uncomfortable with. Please trust me.”
Her breathing suddenly stopped. The serious look in her eyes was unreadable. “What…?”
“I’m not going to force you to do anything.”
She moved back to her feet, stepping away.
“Livia, let me explain what happened with Amanda.”
“I think it was pretty clear,” she said viciously.
“I didn’t have sex with her. I didn’t even kiss her.”
“I’m sure.” The sarcasm was heavy.
“Why would I lie to you?”
“Because you just did a few minutes ago,” she snapped. “You told me I was the only one. You lied to my face. Just because we were in the dark doesn’t make it okay.” She shook her head slightly, the sadness in her eyes. “You know what? We were broken up so it’s really none of my business…I don’t need the details. They don’t matter anyway. You don’t matter…”
How could she say that to me? I was at this stupid party because I was trying to rip apart the man who did this to her, that made her into this fearful and scared person. Every time I thought about it, it made me want to cry. How could she think any girl would mean anything to me? It was like our relationship never happened.
I stepped back then ran my hand through my hair. “I give up, Livia.”
She watched me, her eyes guarded.
“You’ve never trusted me. If you did, you would tell me what you’re hiding. You would tell me who you saw at this party last month. You would tell me why you cower away from me like I might hurt you. You would know nothing happened with that girl, at least something serious.
“You’re not the only one with problems. I have my baggage too. My parents died. They died, Livia. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t give my mom a kiss on the cheek before I left for school that morning. I had every day to tell them how much I loved them, but I took them for granted. The moment you came into my life I promised myself I wouldn’t make that mistake again. So, when I held you in my arms, feeling my heart bleed for you, I said what I was feeling. That I loved you more than anything else in this fucking world.
“I never let anyone in because I’m too scared to lose them. You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone you love. You don’t have a damn clue how shitty it feels. But I risked it with you because I couldn’t resist you. I was patient with you, taking things as slow as you needed. I respected you and loved your soul as much as your face. But I lost you too. You’re gone.”
Livia took a deep breath then tears streamed down her face. She sniffed then wiped them away. “Scotty…”
I held up my hand. “I’m done.” Despite how much it hurt, I turned around and walked away. I already gave this girl everything and I couldn’t give her any more. I wanted to help her, to be what she needed, but if she wouldn’t let me in the
n that would never happen.
And I couldn’t torture myself a second longer.
CHAPTER FOUR
Livia
“You guys broke up?” Ash asked from across the table.
It was Saturday morning. I finally got Ash home then he passed out on my couch.
“Yeah…”
“When?”
“About a month ago.”
“Why?” he demanded. “I thought you guys were happy?”
“We were…”
“Then what happened? When I talked to Scotty, he said he was in love with you.”
I took a deep breath when I heard his words. They stung painfully. I hated the way I left things with Scotty last time I saw him. His words broke my heart. I knew I was hurting him, making him suffer. I hated myself for it. “I broke up with him.”
“Why?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“It just wasn’t working out…”
“But…you spent every waking hour with him. Weren’t you sleeping together?”
This was awkward. “We would sleep together…not have sex.”
He seemed even more confused. “You dated him for almost three months and never put out?”
I didn’t answer him.
“Wow. I couldn’t wait three months for anyone.”
But Scotty was different.
“What’s wrong with him, Livia? He seemed like a good guy.”
“It just wasn’t right, okay?” I snapped.
He studied my face. “There’s something you aren’t telling me.”
When did he become so inquisitive? “It’s my personal life, not yours.”
“And I didn’t think you’d have another personal life again. Now tell me.”
“It’s nothing…”
“Livia.” His voice sliced through the air. “I’m sick of seeing you mop around over something I have no knowledge of. You were finally happy when Scotty was around. What possible reason could you fathom to justify this? Livia, just be happy. Whatever he did, work on it.”
“He didn’t do anything.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I’m done talking about this.”
Ash turned red in the face. “I don’t know what the hell is up your ass. If you want to be miserable for the rest of your life, then fine. Do whatever the hell you want. I’m sick of trying to help you. You know why I always call you to pick me up?”
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