After the Affair

by Miranda Lee

  She dared not look Dan's way, but she could feel the electric tension emanating from his rocklike body. 'That's wonderful, love,' she said, and gave Jason a hug. Be damned with you, Dan McKay! she thought defiantly.

  'Hey, Mum, did you see that helicopter over there? Isn't it terrific? Wouldn't I just love to have a ride in that!'

  Cassie grimaced at her son's prattle. All she wanted to do was get away. The situation was excruciating for her. She was afraid that the penny would drop and Dan would make a scene. 'Jason, I don't think ‑'

  'That could be arranged,' Dan interrupted curtly, 'since it's my helicopter to do with as I wish.'

  Cassie whirled to face him. 'Yours?' She was still unable to take in Dan's unexpected wealth.

  'Mine!' He gave her a hard, penetrating look before returning his attention to Jason, a grim concentration drawing his dark eyebrows together.

  'Oh, boy! Did you hear that, Mum?'

  She gave a weak nod.

  Jason glanced from his mother to Dan. 'Are you a friend of Mum's, mister?'

  The corner of Dan's mouth twisted. 'I was...a long time ago.'

  'And you really own that helicopter?'

  Dan flicked a caustic glance Cassie's way. 'I seem to be having trouble making people believe anything I say. Yes, Jason, it is indisputably my helicopter.'

  'Wow! Can I have a ride in it today? Now?'

  'If you like.'

  'Jason, I don't ‑'

  'A ride in a helicopter!' Jason exclaimed, not even hearing his mother's objection. His beaming face was turned towards the helicopter. 'Oh, boy! Wait till Gran hears about this!'

  Cassie groaned.

  The sound drew a puzzled glance from her son. 'Are you all right, Mum? You look kinda sick, or something.'

  'I...I have a headache. I'm afraid you'll have to leave Mr McKay's offer of a ride for today.'

  'Aw, gee. ..'

  Dan knelt down to Jason's eye level. 'Not to worry,' he said kindly. 'There'll be plenty of other days. By the way, how old are you, Jason?'

  Cassie's heart stopped.

  'Eight,' her son announced proudly, then added, 'I'll be nine in November.'

  'Nine, eh?' Dan lifted his dark eyes to glare daggers at Cassie. 'In November, no less...'

  It took all her inner strength to glare proudly back at him.

  So now he knew for certain! It had been inevitable that he would. But what was he going to do about it? Cassie was so upset by the possibilities that her head was indeed pounding.

  Dan straightened up, just as Cassie's mother puffed up the steep steps. 'My goodness, but that's a walk! Jason, you shouldn't tear ahead like that.'

  Mrs Palmer's arrival did nothing to alleviate Cassie's distress. Her mother wouldn't recognise Dan, as they had never actually met, but she would know his name. Cassie hoped and prayed that she would be able to escape without effecting an introduction, but, knowing her mother, that was unlikely.

  Joan Palmer was still a good-looking woman at fifty-five, with stylishly cut grey-blonde hair and a shapely figure. People said that Cassie was the spitting image of her mother as a young girl, but where Cassie was a modern, independent woman, her mother was one of the old school, who believed that the female sex was put on earth solely for the purpose of marriage. She would not miss a chance of meeting a handsome man, especially one whom she might be able to push in her daughter's direction.

  Cassie's anti-social behaviour had been a source of several heated discussions over the years. The 'once bitten, twice shy' principle did not go down well at all, though Cassie could have pointed out that it had taken her mother almost nine years herself to get over her own husband's death. Roger Nolan, Cassie's employer, had been wanting to marry the attractive widow Palmer for years, but Joan had only recently given him the nod. The wedding was due to take place in two weeks' time.

  Perhaps finally aware that she was staring at Dan, Joan swung her attention to her daughter. 'Well, love? Did you have any luck at the auction?'

  'I'm afraid not, Mum. Everything was much too dear.'

  'Guess what, Gran,' Jason piped in. 'This man here's an old friend of Mum's and he owns that helicopter over there and he's going to give me a ride in it some time, aren't you, mister?'

  'I guarantee it.'

  'See? He ‑'

  'Hush, Jason.' Joan smiled apologetically at Dan. 'That's very kind of you, Mr...er... Cassie, aren't you going to introduce us?'

  Cassie steeled herself. It wasn't going to be easy introducing a mother to the man who'd made her unmarried daughter pregnant. And Joan was bound to recognise the name at once.

  Cassie's sigh carried a weary resignation. 'Mum, this is the new owner of Strath-haven, Mr McKay...Mr Dan McKay:

  'Pleased to meet you, Mr Mc... Oh. . Her ready smile faded, her outstretched hand dropped. 'Oh, dear...'

  It was a dreadful moment, saved by a child's innocence.

  'Pleased to meet you, Mr McKay.' Jason's hand shot out like a fast ball at cricket.

  'You can call me Dan, Jason.'

  Cassie stiffened. It had sounded like 'Dad'. 'I think Jason should ‑'

  'Dan will be fine,' he overrode her firmly. 'I prefer it.'

  'Are you really going to be living here, Dan?' Jason asked, black eyes shining with uninhibited joy.

  'I certainly am.'

  'Oh, boy! Can I come over and visit sometimes? I won't be a bother. Really I won't.'

  'Anytime...son.'

  The word sent a stab of fear into Cassie. She looked at Dan appealingly. Please, don't tell him, her eyes said. Please...

  His returning look was so cold, it sent shivers up her spine.

  'Did you hear that, Mum?'

  'Yes, Jason, I heard,' Cassie choked out. 'Now we really must be going. Nice to have seen you again, Dan,' she added stiffly and took her bag from him. 'Are you coming, Mum?'

  Joan looked as if she'd been struck by lightning. 'Oh... Yes... Of course... Goodbye, Mr... er... Goodbye...'

  Cassie took her mother's arm and helped her down the steps, not once looking back over her shoulder. Jason, as was his habit, skipped on ahead, shouting, 'Oh, boy! Oh, boy!' in a happy, excited voice.

  Cassie kept a firm grip on herself as she walked away. But it wasn't easy. She was tempted to turn round, to run back, to beg Dan not to spoil what she had built up for herself and her son over the last nine years. He had no right, no right at all to come back into her life now and turn it upside-down again. She didn't need him. Jason didn't need him. Her son had never suffered from not having a father. And he would gain little from acquiring one now. Particularly one not married to his mother. Riversbend would be agog!

  'Cassie.

  'What?' she snapped, her angry thoughts having fuelled a short fuse. 'Sorry, Mum,' she added quickly. 'I'm still a bit...upset.'

  'I don't blame you, love. It must have come as a big shock, seeing Dan McKay again, finding out he'd bought Strath-haven. Then having Jason burst in on you like he did.'

  Cassie sighed. They were about to step on to the suspension bridge. Jason was up ahead in the centre, jumping up and down, enjoying the effect he was having. Not so his mother.

  'Jason! For Pete's sake, stand still or move along. Do you want your Gran and myself to end up in the river?'

  He looked up, not at all chastened. 'Sorry, Mum,' he shouted back, and ran on, which wasn't much of an improvement on using the bridge as a trampoline. It swooped and swayed under their feet.

  'That boy!' Cassie complained.

  'Perhaps he needs a father's hand,' her mother said softly.

  Cassie's glance was sharp. 'And what do you mean by that?'

  Her mother gave her one of those innocent 'Are you talking to me?' looks. 'Nothing... Nothing.'

  'Oh, yes, you did! You think that just because Dan's handsome and rich I should try to get him to marry me, don't you?'

  Joan shrugged. 'Weil, he doesn't exactly fit the mental picture I've had of him over the years. I imagined him as a shaggy-hai
red painting bum, with a three-day growth on his chin and not a cent to his name. Let's face it, Cassie, the Dan McKay I saw this afternoon has a lot going for him.'

  'Oh, Mum! So Dan's successful and spruced up now. So what? That's all surface gloss. Don't be taken in by it. And give me credit for some pride. You know how deeply he hurt me!'

  'Yes, Cassie, I do, but that was a long time ago, love. People make mistakes and life goes on.

  Perhaps you ‑' She broke off and stopped abruptly. The bridge shuddered. 'Oh, dear... I just realised... I...I'd forgotten he was married.'

  'His wife died a while back,' Cassie announced bluntly. 'Not that that makes any difference. And before you ask...no, he hasn't any other children.'

  'Gran! Mum! Come on!'

  'Coming, Jason,' Cassie called, and they walked on in agitated silence.

  'What do you think he's going to do about Jason?' Joan said at last. 'I mean...it's quite obvious that he guessed. And who wouldn't? Why didn't you ever tell me about the eyes? There I was thinking they were a throwback to old Uncle Bart.'

  'Do we have to keep talking about this, Mum?' Cassie said impatiently. 'I'd like to forget it.'

  'It's a bit hard to forget the man when he's going to be living next door.'

  'This isn't the city,' Cassie argued hotly. 'It's not as though we're at leaning-over-the-fence distance from each other. He's a good mile away.'

  'Don't be ridiculous, Cassie. You know full well he isn't going to forget you. Or Jason. I saw the way he was looking at the boy. Hungry, that man. Hungry for love...'

  Cassie felt a sick pang in the pit of her stomach. There were many types of hunger, she wanted to say to her mother. And it certainly wasn't love on Dan's mind. Possession might be closer to the mark.

  'I might let him see Jason occasionally, but he needn't think he's going to tell all and sundry he's my son's father,' she said indignantly.

  Her mother gave a dry laugh. 'And who's to stop him? Something tells me Dan McKay is not an easy man to handle. Once he's set his mind on something...'

  Joan's words reminded Cassie of what Dan had said at the library door... 'I won't let it finish like this, Cassie.'

  And that had been before he'd found out about his son! It was all too much for Cassie.

  'Here, Mum,' she said, handing her mother the keys as they reached the other side of the river. 'You take the jeep and drive on up home with Jason. I want to see to the horses before it gets dark.'

  'You and those horses!'

  'I won't be long,' Cassie called as she walked away along the riverbank.

  She dimly heard her mother grumble something about dying of starvation, but she kept walking. Actually, the horses didn't need attention. They'd been looked over, fed and watered that morning, but she desperately needed a few quiet moments away from her mother's probing, away from Jason's high-spirited chatter. And she needed time: time to soothe her chaotic nerves, time to think.

  All the horses pricked up their ears at her coming, but only Rosie whinnied and trotted to the fence for a pat. The mare's unconditional affection tugged at Cassie's heart. If only people were like that.

  Rosie had been eighteen years old, barren and in a deplorable condition when Cassie had saved her from the knacker's yard. People who saw her now could not believe she was the same bedraggled animal of eighteen months before. Not only was she blooming with health, but a foal was on the way.

  'Hello, old thing,' Cassie said, running knowledgeable eyes over the mare's rump. There were no tell-tale hollows near the tail. 'No foal tonight, I see. That's good. You have to keep carrying that baby for another month, Rosie, so stick with it, my girl.'

  Rosie nodded her head up and down as if in agreement.

  Cassie sighed and curled an arm around the horse's neck. 'The man who gave me my baby has come back, Rosie. You don't know Dan. He was before your time. But I don't love him any more. In fact, I hate him! But that's not the problem. Or maybe it is. You see...'

  She leant closer and pressed her cheek up against the warmth of the horse's mane. 'I have this ghastly confession to make,' Cassie whispered huskily. 'I detest myself for it, but...the truth is...when Dan kissed me in the library, for a moment I didn't want him to stop. After all this time...it felt the same. And how can that be? How can it, when I hate him so?'

  As though sensing Cassie's distress, Rosie hung over the fence and nuzzled her mistress's hand. I'm here, the gesture seemed to say. Everything will be all right.

  Cassie sighed and straightened. She gave the mare a farewell stroke then turned for the long walk home.

  Half-way up the hill Cassie stopped and glanced over her shoulder. A lone figure was standing on the veranda of Strath-haven, and, though it was indiscernible from that distance and in the fading light, Cassie knew that it was Dan.

  A shiver ran up her spine. He was watching her. Watching her and already planning his next move.

  For, despite her warning him not to, Cassie knew that he would cross the river. He would come, if not for her then for his son. It was as inevitable as the sun setting that evening and rising the next morning.

  The only question was...how soon?

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Roger turned from the dining-room window, a glass of port in his hand. 'I hear your new neighbour is quite a man,' he directed at Cassie.

  She glanced up from the table to look squarely at her boss. Though almost sixty years old, Roger was still dapper, with short grey hair, a neat moustache and an insatiable curiosity about people.

  It was this last facet of his character that had Joan frowning madly at her daughter. Roger knew nothing of the circumstances of Jason's conception, though he'd been living in Riversbend at the time. No doubt he imagined—like everyone else—that some local lad had been responsible. The only people who could have guessed were the van Aarks, but they'd been rarely at Strath-haven and Cassie had kept out of their way after Dan had left. She doubted they'd ever known of Jason's existence.

  'Actually, I know him,' she said, standing up to begin stacking the plates. They'd been relaxing with a port after a long Sunday lunch. 'Met him years ago.'

  'Really?' Roger's clear grey eyes registered surprise. And interest. 'Do tell.'

  'Nothing much to tell,' Cassie shrugged, and continued to gather the crockery. 'He was a visitor at Strath-haven once, a few years back. I ran into him one day when I took some eggs down to Mrs Rambler. If you remember, she used to cook for the van Aarks sometimes.'

  'Hmm...' Roger turned back to stare through the window again, down at Strath-haven. 'McKay's his name, isn't it?'

  'Yes, that's right.'

  'Big businessman from Sydney.'

  'So it seems.'

  Roger turned with a cheeky smile. 'Unattached, too, from what I hear.'

  Cassie gave him a sharp look. 'Now, Roger ‑'

  He held up his hands in mock defence, spilling a few drops of port. 'Oops! Joan, love, I...er...'

  Joan swooped with a serviette, quickly wiping the brown drops from the dusky pink carpet. 'Men!' she said, but indulgently.

  When she stood up, Roger gave her a squeeze and a kiss. 'You couldn't manage without us, though, could you?'

  Cassie turned away from their display of affection, an uncomfortable sensation twisting in her stomach.

  'Mum! Mum!' Jason appeared in the doorway, his face bright with excitement. 'There's a red car coming up our drive. One of those with the top down. I think it's Dan driving it.'

  'Dan?' Roger asked, puzzled. 'Who's Dan?'

  Cassie did her best to ignore her thudding heart. 'He means Dan McKay, the man we were just talking about.'

  Now Roger was frowning. 'And Jason calls him Dan?'

  Cassie sighed and turned to her son. 'You go out and meet him, love. I'll be there in a moment.'

  The boy ran off.

  'Dan and I were having a chat after the auction yesterday when Mum and Jason turned up,' Cassie explained. 'Dan seemed to take to Jason and didn't want to be called M
r McKay, that's all. No big deal.'

  'Hmm...'

  Cassie didn't like the way Roger was looking at her. He was far too curious. And perceptive.

  She produced a disarming smile. 'I'll just go and see what he wants. You stay here and finish your drink with Mum.'

  Cassie hurried from the room before any more awkward questions could be asked.

  But she didn't hurry to meet Dan. Once out of Roger's sight her legs ground to a halt, her whole being shaking with a thousand jangling nerves. She leant against the wall of the hallway and took several deep breaths. It was little use. She was still a mess. Yet she had known that Dan would come...eventually.

  With a jolt she realised that she had sent her son out to be alone with his father. Dan could be saying anything to him!

  It propelled her into action, and she raced along the hall, out on to the back porch, down the steps and literally into Dan's arms.

  'My, my,' he drawled, reaching out to steady her. 'What a pleasant change to find you so anxious to see me.'

  For a heart-stopping second, Cassie went totally blank. She stared down at the hands that were grasping her upper arms, then up into Dan's handsome, smiling face. With an inevitability that she found appalling, her body began to respond to his nearness, his touch. Heat suffused the surface of her skin as that insidious seed of suppressed longing burst into life once more.

  How easy it would be to give in to it. So easy... All she had to do was sink against the hard broadness of his chest ?.id lift her mouth to his.

  Instead she wrenched out of his hold, angry more at herself than at Dan. But her tongue didn't seem to know the difference. 'Don't kid yourself!' she snapped. 'You're the last man on earth I want to see.'

  'You mean this isn't for me?' he mocked, indicating her clothing.

  Cassie looked down at the cream knitted suit which she had worn to church and kept on afterwards. It was the one time during her week that she discarded her jeans.

  'You know very well that I wasn't expecting you today,' she flared, her fingers shaking as they nervously arranged the loose top over the matching skirt. Unfortunately, the smoothing down of the ribbed garment only emphasised the thrust of her full breasts, which at that moment felt embarrassingly swollen.