Listen to Your Heart

by Irene Brand

  “He has an interesting profession. He’s a photojournalist, and he’s doing a magazine article on antebellum homes in the area. He wants to feature Oaklawn.”

  “Awesome! Maybe it’s a good thing you fixed up the old place. What’s his name?”

  “Micah Davidson.”

  “Oh, I’ve heard of him! He’s world-renowned. His work has been featured on the Discovery Channel and in the National Geographic.”

  A world-renowned journalist and she’d treated him like an errant child! Remembering her faux pas, Laurel wondered what Micah must think of her.

  “Will I have time to take my bags upstairs and unpack before supper?” Debbie asked.

  “It will be almost an hour before the rolls are ready, so take your time.”

  While she did a load of laundry and finished supper preparations, Laurel was aware of Micah’s movements as he unloaded his car. He left for a short time and came back with two bags from the grocery store. She supposed it would have been a neighborly gesture to invite him to eat with them, although Laurel didn’t normally socialize with her renters. But she hadn’t had a tenant so near her own age before.

  After dinner Debbie went to a party, and since a wispy rainbow indicated a fair evening, Laurel sat on the gallery. The house faced west, and the favorite part of Laurel’s day was to sit in a large rocking chair, listening to the birds settling for the night and inhaling the fragrance of the flower gardens, while watching the sun set beyond the distant hills. The scent of roses was especially strong tonight.

  Most times when she enjoyed the beauty of her surroundings, Laurel’s thoughts were pleasant, but not this evening. It was always this way when she lost her temper. She couldn’t remember how many times she’d sat here and asked God’s forgiveness for her anger. Every time she thought she’d conquered this weakness, she’d stumble again. She’d lost her temper so many times, it was amazing that she had any left.

  God, she silently prayed, I know Your word teaches to be “slow to become angry,” but I did it again today. I don’t know why You don’t lose patience with me, because I’m disobedient so often. But, God, I don’t know what the future holds, and I’m afraid. Debbie will be leaving in a few months to live in another state, and I’ll be rattling around this old house alone. I have so much to be thankful for, so please forgive me for feeling sorry for myself. Since Jason’s parents left the property to me to maintain for Debbie, I feel obligated to stay here. I do love this old place. But sometimes it seems like an albatross around my neck.

  As Debbie’s wedding date loomed closer, Laurel often experienced her rising fear of being alone. Her daughter had been her whole life for twenty-two years. She didn’t want Debbie to suspect her feelings because it would make her sad. But she was determined that Debbie wouldn’t realize what a void she was leaving. She would have to develop a new life. She needed to find a job to pay for the renovations, although she knew it would be difficult to venture out on her own after living a sheltered life.

  After her husband, Jason, had disappeared in a boating accident, Laurel had dated a few times, but his parents were so opposed to it that she’d given up male companionship rather than live with conflict. Since Jason’s body had never been recovered, his parents wouldn’t admit that he was really dead, but Laurel had never doubted his death. Jason had been an irresponsible husband, but Laurel didn’t believe that he would have deliberately abandoned his family for twenty years. She had never considered remarrying when Debbie was growing up, but now that her daughter was leaving home, perhaps it was time for her to find a companion, someone to date and possibly marry down the line.

  Gently, Laurel rocked back and forth, considering her options for a new lifestyle. Micah Davidson walked around the corner of the house with a check in his hand. He came briskly up the steps.

  “Good evening, Mrs. Cooper. I’m pleased with the apartment. Here’s a month’s rent.”

  Since the man didn’t seem to resent her crabby behavior, his presence didn’t embarrass Laurel now. She wondered momentarily how old he was. He must be in his late forties, for deep, calipered lines had formed around his generous mouth and streaks of gray frosted his dark hair.

  “Won’t you sit down?” she invited. “There’s going to be a brilliant sunset soon.”

  Micah took the rocking chair she indicated. “This is a peaceful place. Since you live a mile from the highway, you aren’t bothered with the sounds of traffic.”

  “Sometimes it’s too peaceful, but I’ve lived here over half of my life, and I’ve gotten used to it. I came to Oaklawn as an eighteen-year-old bride, and I haven’t been out of Tennessee since my honeymoon.”

  These weren’t pleasant memories, so she said, “Since you’re a photojournalist, you must travel a lot and have an interesting life. Tell me about some of your experiences.”

  “I’ve spent the past year in the Amazon rain forest with a group of scientists.” He grinned in her direction. “That’s the reason today’s deluge in the backyard didn’t bother me. My clothes have been wet most of the time in recent months.”

  “Mr. Davidson, please,” Laurel said, and she feared her face had turned as red as her hair. “I’d like to forget that.”

  “Sorry,” he said contritely, though his face still gleamed with unspoken laughter. “I’ve written several articles about my experiences in the jungle, and the first one will be published in a few weeks. I’m a freelance journalist, so I pick and choose what I want to do. I’ve worked on most of the continents, and, yes, I have had an interesting life. But I’ll reach the half-century mark on the last day of June. I can’t keep up this pace forever, so it’s probably time to establish some roots.”

  “Don’t you have any family?”

  “I’ve never been married, but I have four siblings scattered here and there around the United States. Due to the nature of my work, I don’t keep in touch with them, except for an occasional postcard.”

  “After living such an exciting life for so many years, do you believe you can actually change and be happy with anything else?” She asked this because she was troubled about how to deal with the changes coming soon in her own life.

  Micah stood, leaned his tall frame against a column, and looking down at Laurel, he said, “It’s possible that I will be bored with any other life.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I really don’t know. That’s one reason I took this assignment. It’s leisurely compared to my usual lifestyle, so it’s a good test to determine if I like a slower pace.”

  “It’s usually quiet at Oaklawn, but with Debbie’s wedding in August, we’ll have more excitement than we normally have.” She stood, too. “Would you like to look over the house now?”

  “That would be great. I’m studying the architecture as well as the history of the homes, and a preliminary viewing would be helpful.”

  Chapter Two

  They entered the central hall, which boasted a magnificent staircase and a crystal chandelier that had been imported from France in 1835. Laurel explained that this would be the site of Debbie’s wedding.

  “We can’t seat many people in here,” she explained, “but since I stood on this stairway during my wedding, just as my mother-in-law did when she was married, Debbie wants to continue the tradition. We’ll have only family members for the wedding itself, and then all of our friends and neighbors are invited for the outdoor reception.”

  The house had four huge rooms on each floor with great fireplaces in each room, set off by carved walnut mantels and varnished paneling. That the Coopers had once been wealthy was evident in the priceless antiques and beautiful oil paintings in each room.

  When Micah commented on the wealth of her furnishings, Laurel shrugged her shoulders. “There would be wealth if I sold them, but I want to keep the house as it is for Debbie and her children. This house was one of the few in the area not raided during the Civil War. Most of these furnishings have been here for a long time. Legend has it that the Coopers buried their money and that it was ne
ver found. But my father-in-law said his ancestors gave most of their wealth to the war effort. None of the Coopers I know have been prosperous.”

  In the parlor, Laurel pointed out the Steinway grand piano. “This piano belonged to Debbie’s great-grandmother.” Laurel ran her fingers over the keys, testing the tone.

  “Debbie’s father played, and he filled the house with music when he was at home. It’s hardly been touched since his death. But Debbie wants her wedding music played on this piano, so I had it tuned.”

  The house was situated on a small hill, and a spreading lawn with large, gnarled trees and spacious gardens added to the mansion’s magnificence. Micah’s camera finger was already itching to photograph the place.

  Micah thanked Laurel for the tour and returned to his apartment. The rooms were cool now. He turned off the air conditioner and raised the window facing the large stream, flowing southward at the foot of the hill. He inhaled the fragrance of the landscape flowers and settled down with his laptop to map out an itinerary for his Tennessee research.

  Micah kept thinking of the delicate bone structure of Laurel’s oval face that ended in a determined chin, and he couldn’t concentrate on his work. Laurel had experienced a rough life bringing up her child as a single parent, but she’d apparently developed a strong character, while fulfilling her role as a mother. He remembered how her emerald eyes easily flared with anger as bright as a flash of lightning, only to fade just as quickly to the softness of a peaceful ocean. Her auburn hair was cut close to her head like a cap. Since she’d been dressed in jeans, he was well aware of her slim waist above shapely hips, and—

  “Whoa!” Micah said aloud.

  He shook his head, wondering at his thoughts. It had been a long time since he’d given any thought to a woman. There was no time for romance in his busy schedule, so what had prompted this sudden surge of interest in Laurel Cooper? He decided he was just as well off not to know the answer to that one, and he shifted his thoughts to the computer screen.

  By the time they’d finished their tour of the house, Laurel had been completely at ease with Micah, and now she could smile at the way she’d mistaken him for a carpenter. She thought about his interesting life—how much he’d seen of the world compared to her meager travels.

  She had eventually become resigned to her restricted life. Since Debbie was all they had left of their son, the Coopers were determined that their granddaughter would be raised in their home. When Laurel had mentioned going to work, or moving into a home of her own, they’d raised such a fuss that it was easier to submit to their demands rather than fight them.

  She’d tried to stifle her temper when dealing with them, because they’d aged considerably after Jason was lost at sea. They’d been good to her in many ways, but she hadn’t had a life of her own. She’d received some income from a small trust fund left by her grandmother, but she was dependent on them for food and housing. And she could never have given Debbie a good education without their help.

  She was surprised when they’d left everything to her, although her father-in-law had asked her in his will to keep Oaklawn for Debbie’s inheritance, actually controlling her life after his death. Mrs. Cooper had lived only two months after her husband, and by the time Laurel had paid their funeral expenses, there wasn’t much money left.

  Acting on the advice of her attorney, Kevin Cooper, Laurel had used most of that money to redo the wing into apartments. Kevin, a first cousin of Jason’s, had advised that the apartments would provide a steady income for her. The apartments had supplied an income, but by the time she paid the utilities and the taxes, she’d hardly broken even on the apartments. Laurel still had the upkeep of a large house, a limited income and no job experience. She was annoyed that Kevin had given her such poor advice, but she hadn’t complained to him. He’d been helpful in settling her father-in-law’s estate, and he’d assured her that she could call on him for further help when needed.

  Although she’d been concerned about having Debbie leave home, Laurel wondered if it wouldn’t be nice to be completely independent for a change. At forty-two she could still get an education and have a career. She had been dreading the summer, but she anticipated it now. She intended to enjoy her daughter’s company while they planned the wedding. And since just one evening in Micah’s company had uplifted her spirits, she looked forward to seeing him often during the next few weeks.

  It was amazing how quickly she’d been drawn to Micah. She hadn’t dated much before she’d met and married Jason, and since his death she hadn’t been interested enough in any man to contemplate a serious relationship with him. But Micah’s quiet ways, his dry humor and his gentleness had captivated her from the first.

  Laurel was still downstairs when she noticed the lights go off in Micah’s apartment. The clock on the stairway chimed ten, and Laurel knew it wouldn’t be long until Debbie came home. She turned off all of the downstairs lights except the ones on the back porch and in the entry hall and went upstairs. She always stayed awake until she knew Debbie was safe at home, but Laurel had avoided being a controlling mother who monitored her daughter’s comings and goings. If Debbie wanted to talk to her about what she’d done when she was out for an evening, Laurel let her take the initiative.

  After her in-laws died, Laurel had moved into their room because it commanded a good view of the river valley. She had kept the cherry bed, dresser and chest that had been handed down for several generations. But to give the room a hint of her own personality, she’d had a green carpet laid and dressed the high, narrow windows in ruffled curtains that matched the rug’s color. As a final touch, she’d replaced the dark painted walls with a colorful, floral wallpaper.

  Laurel had changed into a mint-green cotton nightgown by the time she heard Debbie’s light gait, taking the steps, two at a time. The door cracked slightly and Debbie whispered, “Asleep, Mom?”

  “No, come in. I’m about ready for bed.”

  “We had a fun time at the pastor’s house, but I almost went to sleep two or three times. It was a long flight from Colorado today.” Debbie smothered a yawn and drifted over to kiss Laurel’s cheek. “Night, Mom.”

  “We should go into Knoxville and pick up your wedding invitations tomorrow,” Laurel said, “but we won’t have to leave early. Sleep late if you want to.”

  Yawning again, Debbie waved lazily, indicating she’d understood and wandered out of the room and down the hall.

  Laurel sat in the wicker rocker she’d brought from her grandmother’s home and reached for the Bible on the small table beside the bed. For the past year, Laurel had memorized a different Scripture verse each week and used it for her special meditation. Without opening the Bible, she tried to remember this week’s verse from the book of Proverbs. A cheerful heart is good medicine.

  Despite her difficult life, Laurel had, for the most part, remained cheerful. She and Jason had enjoyed a happy marriage for eighteen months until Debbie was born. But Jason had wanted Laurel’s full attention, and he resented Debbie’s claims on her. Although Debbie had toddled after him all the time, he hadn’t had time for her. He worked on construction jobs that took him away for months at a time. He kept in touch with his family with occasional phone calls and infrequent checks to Laurel. Jason’s parents had spoiled him as a child, and he hadn’t grown up to be a responsible adult. While he was working in Texas, he’d met Ryan Bledsoe, and for a year prior to his death, Jason had bummed around the country with his friend.

  During those difficult days, and the time after Jason’s death, Laurel had relied on her faith in God to survive. He hadn’t failed her. She’d prayed for the wisdom and strength to be a good mother, and God had answered her prayer. He’d given her the strength to keep her in-laws from spoiling their granddaughter as they had their son.

  Debbie had never caused her any trouble. In high school, she’d made good grades, played in the band and participated in summer sports. Despite the sorrow that Laurel personally felt, she had kept her sa
dness from Debbie. And because of her upbeat attitude, Laurel had kept her head above water when circumstances tended to overwhelm her.

  Laurel opened the double windows facing the bend in the river. The cost of air-conditioning this huge house was prohibitive, so during the summer, they stored cool air at nighttime and kept the windows and doors closed all day. The thick brick walls retained the cool air that drifted inside at night.

  Before she turned off the light, Laurel walked across the hall and into the dark room she’d once shared with Jason. She pulled back the heavy draperies and opened the window, providing a full view of the addition where the apartments were located.

  She wondered if Micah found it difficult to sleep in strange surroundings. Probably not, since he’d traveled so much. What would it be like to travel as extensively as he had? Her honeymoon to Atlanta was the farthest she’d been away from Oaklawn. Dereck’s mother had invited her to come visit them, but with her renovation debts, Laurel was short of funds. She’d have to be conservative until she took a job and paid off that loan. Perhaps then she could go to visit Debbie and Dereck in Colorado.

  Laurel hummed a hymn as she darkened her room and turned on a dim light beside her bed. She stretched, savoring the texture of the smooth sheets under her back. She crossed her hands behind her neck and listened to the cacophony of insect sounds outside the window. She also heard a cow bawling on her neighbor’s farm—probably trying to find its calf. The owl, nesting in the attic of Oaklawn’s garden house, serenaded its nesting mate. Last night the plaintive call of the owl had made her sad, but tonight she enjoyed it.

  Micah’s coming had lifted her spirits. The rent he paid this summer would help with her finances, but she wasn’t sure that was the only reason she was pleased with her new tenant. She fell asleep thinking about him.

  The ringing phone woke Laurel, and at first she thought it was the alarm clock, which she’d set for seven. A glance at the clock indicated it was after midnight. Her heart thumped rapidly, and her stomach churned with anxiety and apprehension. Following her in-laws’ custom, Laurel had developed the habit of going to bed early. Her friends knew she didn’t keep late hours, so who could be calling? She sat up and quickly lifted the receiver, hoping the phone hadn’t wakened Debbie. Maybe there was an emergency among the church family.