We Are The Hunted (Book 1): We Are The Hunted

by Matlin, Perry T.

  “Ben don’t be an idiot, it’s dark and we don’t even know if they made it to town” Chase says, his fingers wrapping tightly around my arm.

  “I can’t just sit here and do nothing” I say, freeing myself from his grip. I stride down the driveway, but Paul latches onto me just as I reach the street.

  “Look, my sister is missing too. I’m worried too, but we can’t just run out into the night. There is a curfew Ben, if we get killed, then what help are we to them?” he demands. I stop. I feel my nerve deflate.

  “What are we supposed to do then?” I demand, crying finally. He pulls me to his chest. I cry there, soaking his shirt with tears.

  “We just have to wait. I’m sure they’ll be fine” he tells me, but his words don’t help.

  “If they aren’t here by tomorrow, then I’m leaving. I won’t let them die alone. I will leave, with or without you” I tell him, and Paul nods.

  “If they aren’t here tomorrow, when we finish packing, then I’ll go with you, even if to the ends of our own lives” he says. Chase puts a hand on my shoulder then.

  “If they aren’t here, then we’ll all go with you Ben. We are a team now, a family” he explains. They convince me to come inside then.

  I follow them up the driveway, as Chase leads us up the sidewalk. I look around, as we come up on the small front porch. There are three plants, sitting on the wooden railing. A ceiling fan is spinning endlessly above us, sending a light breeze through the open area. I see that the floor is concrete, rough, uneven, cracked. There are three lawn-chairs situated around the cramped porch, but I find that it is exactly what I expected from Chase. I smile at that.

  “It’s not much, but this is my house. Welcome. Make yourselves at home” he says, opening his arms in a welcome gesture. I walk into the small house, two steps behind Chase. When he closes the door, I feel the artic blanket of the air-conditioned house wrap around me.

  I file in behind them, as Chase leads us deeper into the house. I look around as we pass a living room, a dining room area, and a small den area where a piano sits alone, covered with a burgundy sheet. I imagine living here with him. I picture coming into the room, the cold air settling, as I watch Chase play piano. It brings a smile to my face, but it feels all wrong. I don’t think I feel that way about him, I don’t think that I ever could. At least not enough for it to matter.

  “We’re hanging out back here in the living room. Peyton wanted to wait up to see you guys, before she went to bed. She really likes you Ben” he says, his tone pointed. I can tell he’s trying to get me thinking. He wants me to acknowledge the life we could have. The life I don’t want.

  Peyton runs up, as soon as we enter the large living room. Her hair is wet, clean from a fresh shower. She is wearing a pair of pajamas, which confuses me. I remember then that this is her home. All of her stuff is here.

  I wonder for the first time, where we will go from here. Once Emily and the others get here, will Chase stay here, when we leave to find our families. It hurts to think of leaving this family behind. We’ve only known each other for a couple days, but the trials we’ve faced together, the losses we’ve suffered as a group have left them permanently imprinted in my heart. They are family now. We are bonded through our mutual grief, our mutual suffering. We are bonded through tragedy, but bonded, nonetheless.

  “You guys made it safely. I was so worried. I’m glad you’re okay Ben” she says, squeezing me again. I hug her back, looking around at the rest of them, as the little girl melts my heart. Lily is standing behind the couch, her hair wet as well. She has both hands rested on the back of the couch. Paul is standing in the doorway, his eyes scoping the room nervously. I can tell he’s uncomfortable. Chase is beaming at me, as I hold his daughter like family.

  “Well go ahead and say goodnight to everyone babe. It’s time for you to get some sleep. You’ve had a long day” he tells her, his face full of love. She pouts but does as she’s told. She runs to hug her grandma, then Paul. He pats her awkwardly.

  He’s never been much of a hugger. I smile at their interaction. It makes me picture having kids with him, having that kind of life with him. A dream I thought I’d never get to picture again. Peyton runs to her dad and he scoops her up into his arms; pulling her up to kiss her on the cheek. She giggles, while he tickles her. As soon as he sets her on the floor, she runs back to me. I smile again, as she throws her arms around me once more.

  “Will you come look at my room, before I go to sleep?” she asks me. I look at Chase, and he nods his approval. I let her grab my hand, dragging me back through the house. We come to the front door and turn to go up the stairs.

  We come to the top of the stairs, and I look around curiously. We are in a small opening. There are three doors visible from the edge of the stairs. I assume one is the bathroom and one is Chase’s room. She leads me to the one adjacent to the place where I’m standing. When she opens the door, a smile breaks across my face. The room is painted turquoise, silver mermaid stickers and rainbow fish are strewn across the walls. Her bedroom set fits the aesthetic, with a pooka style design. It all looks very beachy. I walk into the middle of the room, before noticing her bed set is Lilo and Stitch, which happens to be the best animated film to ever exist in the history of the entire world. I like this little girl.

  “Do you like it?” she demands, pulling me to every corner. I assure her each time; I tell her how much I love her room. Then Chase joins us. Peyton runs over to her bed, sliding under the covers. Chase crosses the room, leaving me by the door. He tucks her in, giving her another kiss. She tells us goodnight, then we leave her alone. As he turns the light off and closes the door; I have the weird feeling like what we just did together was a little too intimate.

  “You wanna head downstairs and unwind before bed?” he offers, as we near the stairs. I nod, following him back down to the living room. Paul looks annoyed, as we come back. I think it’s cute how jealous he’s been getting. I make a point to sit beside Paul, as we gather around the table.

  Lily is just getting up to head off to bed. She is sleeping in Chase’s room, and he is sleeping in Peyton’s room with her. Paul and I are left to share the sectional, unless Emily and the others decide to show up. Then we’ll have to break out Chase’s air mattresses. I look toward the door, as Lily disappears from view. Where are they? I pull my phone out, the cracked screen bringing tears of anger to my eyes again. I dial my brother’s number. It goes straight to voicemail. I try all of their phones. Still nothing.

  “Worrying about it won’t help you, so why don’t we try to distract ourselves?” Chase asks, before turning to his dining room. He disappears for a few moments, before coming back with a tall bottle. I see immediately that it’s Tequila.

  Paul shakes his head instantly. He’s not a drinker. He never has been. I’ve only gotten him to drink like three times in the whole ten years we’ve known each other. Chase comes to the table then. He sets the bottle in the middle, before going back. He comes back with three glasses. I reach for mine first.

  I reach for the bottle and fill my cup to the rim. I tip it back, chugging an entire glass of straight Tequila. I almost throw up.

  *****

  Chase laughs again, swigging on his nearly empty glass. We’ve been drinking for over an hour now. The bottle is less than half full at this point. Paul has only taken a couple sips, since we convinced him to drink at all. Chase has had about as much as me. We have each drank over a fourth of the bottle. I feel buzzed, light on my feet, and surrounded by clouds.

  “Don’t take advantage of me this time Ben” Chase says, his laugh too loud, his words too brazen. Paul’s head snaps to me. His eyes searching my face. I wish I could stop the room, go back. I wish I could clap my hand over Chase’s stupid mouth, before he could say it.

  “You slept with him?” Paul demands, his voice quiet. I can hear the anger there, the accusation. I don’t know what to say, so I just nod. Tears fill my eyes, as he jumps to his feet. As soon as the door
slams, I tumble from the chair, swaying on the spot. I round on Chase then.

  “What the hell was that?” I demand. He looks from me to Paul. His eyes go lighter. He seems to realize something in the moment. That’s when his face drops.

  “You’re in love with him. I knew you had a past, I knew you loved him, but I thought you were just struggling to move on. You aren’t done with him, are you?” he asks me. His voice is calm, but his eyes are sad. I again have no words, so I just nod. I already told him that.

  He stalks off then, leaving me alone with the alcohol. I figure I don’t need anymore, so I head right for the front door. I need to talk to him. I need to explain everything. He looked so betrayed. Did I ruin everything all over again? I stumble to the door, closing it softly behind me. Paul is standing at the end of the driveway, as I make my way to him. The night is colder. I shiver as I come to a stop beside him. He doesn’t look at me, as I peer into the silence. His face is flushed. I can see his lips parted. At first, I think he’s pissed, but then I see that he’s shaking. His shoulders moving slightly. I notice then that he has silver tears running down his sweet face.

  TWENTY-FIVE

  Paul is crying next to me, real teardrops rolling down his cheek, disappearing into the edge of his growing facial hair. I stand there, frozen on the spot; unable to do anything. I made him cry? I hurt him… again. I peer out at the quiet street, wishing more than anything that I had been the one to be dragged down by the infected, not Drew. He deserved to live. He was good, pure. I am no good. I ruin everything. I screw everything up.

  “I’m sorry. Paul I am so sorry” I tell him, my own voice breaking with tears. He doesn’t acknowledge me. He pretends I didn’t speak. I can still see his shoulders shaking, his cheeks are still flushed, but the tears are gone for now.

  “Paul, I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t think it would matter, why would I tell you that?” I say, trying to rationalize my own mistakes. Trying to make myself feel better for making him cry.

  “You had made it pretty clear that we weren’t getting back together. It was before…” I say again, alluding to the epic day we’ve had together. The hand holding, the conversation earlier. Us getting back together. I would never sleep with Chase now, not after the progress we’ve made. Even if I had to be alone for the rest of my life, I would never want anyone besides him.

  “Before what? Before I got stuck with you in the fucking apocalypse? Before you told me you loved me still? Before we fucking held hands or kissed?” he says suddenly, his voice filled with hurt.

  I relinquish from the accusations, from the harsh words falling from his perfect lips. What, does he think we had sex in the restaurant while he was searching the parking lot? He honestly thinks it happened since we left the hotel? When would we have had time?

  “Paul, it was the night we first all stayed in the hotel together, when I took the vodka to the other room. You had been rude to me, I was hurt, stressed from whatever the hell is happening to our world, and I made a… I made a choice” I was about to say mistake, but in the moment; I realize that I don’t regret sleeping with Chase. It made me feel better. It made me happy at the time. He has to understand how alone I have felt.

  “Well maybe you shouldn’t be drinking anymore, if you’re just going to run out and fuck the first tall guy you see” he says scathingly. I gasp at his words. How could he say something like that to me? I take another look at his face, seeing the anger boiling there, I turn to walk away, done with the conversation.

  “I know it was my fault, and I have owned up to that. I have paid for it, but you chose to leave me. You abandoned me. You can’t get mad, when I finally try to find some semblance of happiness. You have no right to make me feel like shit, for doing nothing more than what you told me to do. I would never sleep with him now, not after all the… all the progress we’ve made” I say, turning to say the words.

  I do a good job of keeping the sob from controlling my voice. I wonder if he can hear it though? Does he know how badly he just hurt me? Does he care? I decide I need to go in, before he answers the unspoken question for me.

  I make it all of ten feet, before he stops me. His hand is soft, his fingers curled warmly around my freezing arm. I turn to face him. His eyes are still rimmed with tears. He still looks angry, but he’s looking at me. I stare back into his eyes, refusing to relent. We’re standing there completely alone, the night passing us by. As we are rooted to the spot, still as stone, the cold begins to settle into my bones again.

  “Don’t go” he says, his voice a whisper. I face him completely then, moving closer. I reach out, expecting him to push me away. Instead, he lowers his arms, dropping mine. I close the distance, touching his face with the very tips of my fingers. He shudders slightly.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I guess it just hurt like hell…” he explains. My heart hurts a little. He’s apologizing, but that doesn’t change that he said the words, he thought those words about me.

  “… I just thought we were moving toward something again, but if you wanna be with him, then…” he trails off, waving his hands dejectedly over at the quiet house. I look at it at first, not catching his words. Then I realize what he’s insinuating. I jump.

  “No… Paul, it’s not like that. We hooked up the one time. That night was it, that was everything. I told him it was a mistake that night, but I think he caught feelings. I had a talk with him about how we will never be together” I say, my voice a million miles per minute. I’m trying to get my whole monologue out, before he can interrupt me.

  “You aren’t with him?” he asks, his entire face changing. I realize why he got so mad. It wasn’t because I tried to move on. He thought our conversations today were a lie, he thought I was with Chase, like with Chase. I look at his face, as it brightens, as it changes completely.

  “Paul, of course not. I only want you. Can’t you see that? It’s always been you, only you” I tell him, the level of dramatics of my statement is not lost on me. Paul smiles then.

  He pulls me to him, kissing me hard on the lips from behind. I kiss him back. That’s when he turns me around, pushing me against the car. I feel my back hit the cold metal, and I gasp in shock. Paul takes it for passion because he just kisses me harder. I smile at that.

  His hands are everywhere, his scent is on me. We are there, nothing between us. His hands wander up my shirt, lifting it, as he explores my torso. I look up at the night sky, as his lips leave my mouth. He begins to kiss my neck, and I close my eyes again. Paul’s lips are cold on my skin, his hands warm. The night silent. When he pulls away briefly, I look into his eyes, taking them in, memorizing the way they look in this moment.

  “I love you Ben” he says, the words finally escaping his lips. Finally, after all these months. After so many days where I felt like the world was too heavy, when I had given up all hope. His words wake up some forgotten emotion within me.

  “I love you too, so much. I love you Paul” I say, my voice shaking with happiness, my body shaking with anticipation. This means one thing for me. We may be in the apocalypse, but with him the world is at my feet. I may be broken to the core, I may have joined the club of murderers around the world, but I got him back too. He leans in to kiss me again.

  “I’ve missed you so much. I’m never leaving you again. I swear” he says, his voice uneven between kisses. I lean into his lips, his promise. Then Paul pushes me harder against the car, his arms lifting me from the ground. He fills in that space, holding me off the ground, wrapping my legs around his waist. He begins to remove my clothes then, and I start memorizing every moment. I don’t want to forget one moment with him, not a single detail.

  *****

  I look up, handing yet another box to Chase. We’ve been packing all the stuff being left behind. He wants to hide it up in the attic. His hope is that someone will break in, see a packed-up house and leave. He wants them to think it was wiped clean, so that they don’t go searching the attic. I look around at the dw
indling pile of boxes, and I see with utter relief that there is only one left. I look back down at my phone, wishing for a text, a call, even a voicemail. Emily hasn’t made it yet. It’s now been close to twenty-four hours since we split with them. We’ve spent the whole day packing, and now there is nothing left to do. We have to get going soon.

  Chase takes the last box from me, before turning the attic light off. He joins me in the garage a few seconds later. I look around for anything else to do. I feel awkward here, alone with him. Just as I’m about to panic, Lily calls for Chase.

  He heads into the house, leaving me alone. It’s cold in the garage, as I pace around. We decided to leave the garage closed, as to play it safe from the infected walking around unchecked. What exactly is marshal law accomplishing? They aren’t getting rid of the dead. It doesn’t seem like they’re doing anything. I decide to head inside then, so I turn away from the garage, the negative thoughts, thankful for the heat, as I come into the kitchen.

  I’m met with a glorious smell, when I enter. Lily is at the sink, washing dishes from whatever she made for lunch. I realize that it’s actually closer to dinner time. I walk over, standing beside her, to see what she made. My stomach growls, as I look down at the platters. She made what looks like bacon chicken cheese sandwiches with an oven dish of chili-cheese fries on the side. I lean against the counter, turning to talk to her. She smiles.

  “I hope you’re all hungry. I made this for us to eat, and I baked some cookies for the road. I also packed the cooler with cold-cuts.” She explains, and I almost swoon. I know one thing. We allied with a family that can cook. I like that.

  Paul and Peyton come down the stairs then. He’s been distant all day, not intentionally, but I wish I could be beside him after last night. Peyton seems to have developed a small crush on Paul and requested that he alone help her pack up her stuff. I’ve only gotten to see him, when he brought boxes out for the attic. I smile, as he makes his way over to stand beside me in the kitchen. Peyton begins to inspect the food.