Street Soldier

by Silhouettes

  I didn’t feel up to slinging no weed with Romeo tonight, but I damn sure needed some money. We headed to the locker room with the rest of the players, but before going inside, someone touched my shoulder. I turned to see who it was.

  “Good game, Jamal. You know you weren’t supposed to be playing today, but like always, you made the game very exciting. Keep up the good work,” Ms. Macklin said.

  She sashayed away, and I couldn’t help but think she was flirting with me. Her eyes said it all, and so did those tight jeans she wore that plumped her ass up just right. Damn, I thought. When, where, and how am I ever going to hit that?

  I walked into the house, only to find my mama sitting in the living room. She looked like a zoned-out Diana Ross from the movie Lady Sings the Blues. Her natural hair sat high on her head like an afro and her bugged eyes were red as ever. As far as I knew, she didn’t smoke crack, but remnants from the joint were in an ashtray. As I got closer to her, I could see the bruise underneath her eye. I lifted her face with my hand and shook my head.

  “It looks painful. Did Raylo do that to you?”

  She smacked my hand away. “Nah, nigga, now keep your dirty hands off my face. And please, please go in there and take a shower. With that football uniform on, you got my house stankin’.”

  I looked deep into my mama’s eyes, not sure if I really loved her. Since I’d been playing football, I’d asked her to come to my games, but she never, ever showed. Then there were times that I felt as if she cared. She used to keep my room clean, cook for me sometimes, talk to me in a better tone, and invite me to watch movies with her. She often inquired about my day, and sometimes bought me books so that I could read. Things were different now, and I didn’t know who she was or what she was becoming. Like all of the men in her life, preferably older men, Raylo had her so fucked up. It was becoming obvious that she didn’t have time for me.

  “We lost our game today. I made two touchdowns, though. The other team was good and the white boys were way bigger and stronger than us. You should have seen them.”

  “I’m sure they were. You need to stop wastin’ your time with that mess, and if you don’t remember nothin’ I tell you, you can be sure of this: The white man gon’ always be better than us, simply because that’s just the way it is. They control the universe. Even if you make it to the NFL, they gon’ write those checks for you. They can cut your black butt off when they want to. Look at how they did Mike Vick. It’s a shame. I don’t want you gettin’ all hyped about some shit that may not ever happen. As a matter of fact, don’t even talk to me about it because I don’t want to hear it. I worked my fingers to the bone, cooking and cleaning for a white man for years. Time his money came up missing, he blamed me and threw my ass out. Called me all kinds of niggas, only to find out it was his son who stole the money. That muthafucka still ain’t apologized to me, and after all of the ass wiping I did for his old tail, it left a bad taste in my mouth about these white folks out here. Don’t you get caught up in that mess. I mean it.”

  I stood stone-faced, wiping the fine hair above my lip. Nah, I didn’t like her ass, but at the end of the day, she was my mama. “Thanks for the inspiration,” was all I could say, and walked away.

  I heard Romeo blowing his horn, so I jetted outside so we could go. Nadine and some of the other chicks from school had been blowing up the phone, trying to see what I was getting into tonight. Thus far, the only plan I had was hanging out with Romeo, but, as always, our plans were destined to change. I hopped into the front seat of his black and gold 1980s Impala and he sped off. The tailpipe was nearly hanging to the ground and we could hear it scraping the concrete. His burgundy leather interior was okay, but it had a few rips in it where you could see the foam cushion. The Impala got Romeo from point A to B, and since I didn’t have a car at all, I couldn’t complain. Jay-Z’s lyrics spilt from the loud, thumping speakers, and we rapped right along with him. Romeo already had a joint wrapped tight, and it wasn’t long before we pulled his car over and took a few hits.

  “So, my nigga,” he said, passing the joint back to me, “after I drop off these two packages, where to?”

  “They been hollerin’ about this party at the Region’s Hall on Twentieth Street all week. We goin’ or what?”

  “Fa’sho,” Romeo said. He started his car, and after making his deliveries, we headed to the Region’s Hall. While in the car, Romeo reached in his pocket and gave me $200.

  “I know I’ve been busy lately, but I hope there ain’t no hard feelings. Sabrina takin’ up a lot of my time, but as soon as I feel the hot pocket, things gon’ be different.”

  “She still holdin’ out on you? I can’t believe that.”

  “I can’t either. But if I done came this far, I may as well hang in there.”

  “Hey, whatever. I don’t think I could wait that long. She playin’ games, man, and you need to let her game backfire.”

  Romeo inhaled, swallowing the smoke from the joint. “I agree.” He squinted from the rush. “If she ain’t upped it in two more weeks, I’m done.”

  I slapped his hand against mine, and we wiggled our fingers. I then tucked the $200 in my pocket and thanked him.

  “At last, I can go get me some groceries. I’m gon’ buy me some new tennis shoes, too, and if you ain’t doin’ nothin’ this Sunday, come pick me up so we can hit the flea market on Rock Road.”

  Romeo nodded, and after finishing two blunts, we made our way to the hall.

  The Region’s Hall was packed with a mixture of high school students from all over St. Louis. Surprisingly, everyone seemed to be getting along. I noticed some of the white boys from the game earlier, and when I saw the one who stood me up straight a few times, I made my way over to him. I tugged at my hanging jeans, and was looking fly in my white Ed Hardy designer shirt with skeletons. It poured over my muscles, and the fake bling around my neck had a lot of heads turning. My fresh braids had a shine, and thanks to my mixed grandmama for the naturally curly hair, I looked original and felt spectacular.

  The players from the team saw me coming their way. Romeo stayed behind, talking to some joker from another school, but I didn’t know him. Just to break the ice, I held out my hand, and the player from the other team stepped forward to shake my hand.

  “Hey, brotha, what’s up?” he said.

  “Shit. Just wanted to say hello and congratulate you fools on a good win.”

  The white boy patted my back. “Yeah, but you guys played a damn good game. You were runnin’ on me like Usain Bolt or somethin’. I was out there havin’ a heart attack tryin’ to keep up with yo’ ass.”

  They all laughed and so did I. We stood around talking about the game and going off on the referees. Even they admitted the refs weren’t being fair. As I indulged in my conversation, I noticed Nadine dancing with a white boy from another school. I didn’t care that she was dancing with anyone, but the trick had the nerve to have on my jersey. It was bad enough she had been flaunting herself around at the game, but couldn’t she have changed clothes before she came to the party? That shit didn’t sit right with me, and I quickly wrapped up my exchange with the fellas. With my hands in my pockets, I swaggered my way to the dance floor, only to be pulled by my arm and stopped in my tracks.

  “Why you moving so fast?” Monesha said, yelling over the blasting hip-hop music. A wide smile covered her face, and her hazel eyes were piercing my heart. “Do you wanna dance?”

  I got a quick glimpse of the flimsy ruffled orange skirt she wore, and her dark-chocolate, oily toned legs underneath. Dancing, of course, was not what I wanted to do.

  “Wait right here, ma,” I suggested. “I don’t feel like dancin’, but I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  She took her hand off my arm and I walked away. My pace was fast, and when I stepped up to Nadine she looked surprised to see me. She was giddy as ever, and threw her arms around me to give me a hug.

  “Hey, Boo,” she said, looking and smelling as if she had been drinkin
g.

  I removed her arms from around me. “Why you got on my jersey? You got fifteen minutes to find somethin’ else to put on, or else.”

  She stumbled backward. “Why you trippin’? I’ve had this thing on all day, boy, so stop playing.”

  Irritated by her, and by the fact that she had let another person rub on her booty, I grabbed her face, squeezing her cheeks in my hand. “Don’t play with me, girl, all right? Go take that muthafucka off and give it to me before the end of the night.”

  Everyone looked as I shoved her face back and stormed away. I strolled by Monesha, but nudged my head to the side so she could follow me.

  Romeo had given me the keys to his car, and Monesha and I were in the backseat slapping near-naked bodies. I had her skirt flipped up from the back while she was kneeled over on the seat. The loud sounds of my thighs smacking her backside hard echoed in the car, and so did our moans and groans. Monesha had mad skills. When she turned on her back, I toyed with her wetness, leaning in to kiss her.

  “Dis some good-ass shit, girl. You got my ass about to cum, big time.”

  “Do it. Pop my cherry wide open,” she said, grinding on me raw. By the feel of her wide insides, I could tell she was far from being a virgin.

  Monesha pulled her button-down shirt aside, exposing her dark, thick, chocolate nipple. Her breast was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen, and before I let loose, I lowered my head to suck it.

  “Damn,” she shouted. “Work it, Prince. Who would have thought you could work it like this?”

  I really couldn’t, but since Monesha was proving herself to be all that, I stepped up my game. I dipped into her insides like I was stirring a pot of hot and creamy soup. It was delicious, and it caused one hell of an explosion. The car was lit up with the smell of erotic sex, and, yes, this was a moment I wasn’t going to forget anytime soon. Monesha cleaned me up with her mouth, and it was a good thing that, this time, I didn’t have to ask for head.

  As soon as we got back inside, Romeo tried to warn me that Nadine was on a rampage. According to him, she’d seen his car rocking and knew that I had left the Hall with Monesha. Before I could get out a word, she came up from behind, screaming loudly and doing what I hated the most—embarrassing me. Tears welled in her eyes.

  “Where in the hell have you been, Prince, and don’t lie! I saw you leaving with her!” Nadine’s eyes scolded Monesha as she saw us walk in together. Monesha ignored her and walked away.

  I pointed to my chest. “Are you yellin’ or talkin’ to me, ma? I don’t respond to that kind of noise. You’d better check yourself for comin’ at me like a hood rat.”

  Romeo turned to walk away, and I followed him. People were looking in our direction, and that’s when I turned around to see what was behind me. Nadine had a bat in her hand, and as she came down with it, it almost cracked me upside my head. I ducked out of the way and grabbed the bat with my hand.

  “You crazy-ass bitch!” I yelled. I took the bat away from her and shoved her backward. Romeo tried to hold me back, but Nadine had gone too far. She’d asked for it, and only because she was still wearing my jersey, I grabbed her by her arm and shoved her outside. Romeo was still trying to calm me, but I yelled for him to leave me the fuck alone.

  “This stupid-ass girl is trippin’,” I said in anger with spit flying from my mouth. “Now, take off my damn jersey before I rip that muthafucka off of you!”

  Nadine wanted to play tough, but doing so with me wasn’t the right move. She lunged out at me, and my fist caught her right in her jaw. That surely calmed her ass down, and when she dropped to the ground, Romeo yelled for us to go.

  “Man, with all these people lookin’, somebody gon’ call the police. Let’s go!”

  I was too mad to go. Nadine had taken me to a place I promised myself I would never go, especially after seeing Mama get beat down for many, many years. My pride was hurt, though, and Nadine had driven me to my limit.

  “Take off my fuckin’ jersey!” I yelled.

  She sat on the ground sobbing, while holding her hands over her face. “I ain’t doing nothing,” she challenged.

  Romeo ran off to get his car, and that’s when I grabbed my shirt, attempting to pull it off Nadine’s back. We tussled, and her struggles caused me to punch her again. This time, I drew blood from her lip. I heard a door behind me open, and when the white boy she was dancing with came outside, he pulled Nadine away from me.

  He had a bewildered look on his face. “Dude, chill with that shit, all right?”

  Mama’s words rang out in my head. White people always gon’ be better than us and they’re in control of the universe. Nigga, when will you ever learn?

  Before I knew it, I was all over the white boy, slamming bone-crushing blows anywhere they could land. He should have known better than to interfere with my business, and I knew now that he had wished like hell he hadn’t come outside. Some of his friends, including the player I had reconciled with, had come outside to see what was up.

  “Stop the madness,” someone yelled. “Can’t we all just get along?”

  “Hell muthafucking nah!” one of the dudes from my school said. “Stay the fuck off our turf!”

  When all was said and done, it was war with black students against the white students. Niggas didn’t even know what they were fighting for, they were just swinging fists and throwing any objects they could possibly find. I spotted Romeo almost get his head busted with a steel pipe, but he ducked. It shaved his forehead, and that’s when I ran over to help. We beat the shit out of that fool, leaving him lying near lifeless on the ground. It wasn’t long before gunfire rang out, and just as I was scurrying to Romeo’s car, a dude with a knife in his stomach fell helplessly in front of me. I jumped over him like a hurdle, and dove into the backseat of Romeo’s car. He skidded from the parking lot with the back door flying open. Hearing the police sirens caused some fear to show up, but when we were out of sight, Romeo pulled over to the curb and we cracked the fuck up.

  “That was some wild shit,” he said, looking in the rearview mirror at the blood dripping from a cut on his forehead.

  I looked at the cut. “Nigga, you all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. Got myself another li’l soldier mark, but I’m straight.”

  Romeo spit on a napkin and dabbed his bloody forehead with it. Once the cut was clean, I checked the soldier mark I’d gotten on my elbow when it scraped the ground. I predicted that it wouldn’t take much time to heal, and until next time, everything was everything.

  Chapter 4

  The police had been around asking questions about the mini race riot, but no one was snitching. The stab victim was in the hospital, and according to everyone at school, he survived. As far as I knew, no one had been arrested, and that was good news for me.

  The students in Ms. Macklin’s class had taken their seats. I sat at the table next to Ms. Macklin’s desk, minding my own business. Nadine’s face was messed up, and it surprised me how much damage I’d done. It didn’t seem like I’d punched her that many times, but one side of her face was swollen and her eye was blackened. When some of the students had asked her what happened, she told them she was in a car accident. Still, some of the students didn’t believe her since they had seen the entire incident go down. Ms. Macklin kept eyeballing Nadine, and during our study time, she called Nadine into the hallway. Nadine never looked my way, but I could see her through the small window talking to Ms. Macklin. Ten minutes later, they came back into the room. Nadine looked at me, and I avoided her by dropping my head. The classroom remained quiet, and when the bell rung, everyone gathered their books to leave. To no surprise, Ms. Macklin stopped me.

  “Have a seat, Jamal. We need to talk.”

  All of the students left, and Ms. Macklin sat next to me at her desk. She gave me a look of disapproval and crossed her legs.

  “I don’t know where to start. But please, please tell me that you did not do that to Nadine’s face.”

  I looked do
wn at the table, feeling deeply ashamed for what I had done. There was no excuse for it, but at the time, I felt as if I had to defend myself. As always, I had been in survival mode, and she’d just happened to fuck with me at the wrong time. “I don’t even know why I’m sittin’ here talkin’ to you about this, ’cause ain’t no way in hell you gon’ understand why somethin’ like that happened. I ain’t makin’ no excuses, but Nadine came at me with a bat, tryin’ to hurt me. I did it in self-defense.”

  Ms. Macklin slowly shook her head. “So, in other words, your actions were justified? You weren’t man enough to walk away, or, better yet, call someone to get her away from you, huh? She was so powerful that she was going to bust your head wide open and you were going to let her. Shame on you, Jamal. Shame on you for not seeking an alternative in that situation. I am so surprised by this. You just didn’t strike me as the kind of young man who would do something like that.”

  I felt terrible and still couldn’t raise my head. “Maybe I could have handled the situation differently, but I wasn’t thinkin’ about how to deal with it that day. All I was doin’ was protectin’ myself from harm. Nadine was losin’ it. She—”

  “Stop it,” Ms. Macklin said, pointing her finger at me. “Take responsibility for what you did, and let’s see about getting you some help. There is never any excuse for putting your hands on a girl or a woman. And you—”

  I raised my head. “I don’t need no fuckin’ help. Like I said, she tried to hurt me. You say it ain’t never no excuse, but what if a stupid bitch is tryin’ to kill me? If she had hit me with that bat, I could be dead right now and—”

  She was blunt and cut me off. “Were you abused as a child, Jamal? Why do you feel as if what you did was okay?”

  I stood up, as I definitely wasn’t trying to hear this shit. “Look, I’m out of here. Do whatever you have to do, and if I get suspended for doing somethin’ that was off school premises, so be it.”