Street Soldier

by Silhouettes

  Ms. Macklin slightly rolled her eyes. “I’m embarrassed that you saw my performance. I wanted you to look up to me as your teacher, not to think I’m some kind of whore who will do whatever for money. That’s not the case, and I have never had an intimate relationship with any man in that club. I make my money and go home.”

  “From what I saw, ma, that’s hard to believe. But, then again, that’s your business. I still respect you as my teacher, but I would be lyin’ if I said I ain’t been thinkin’ about that night.” I looked at her again, this time staring into her eyes. “You’re a very beautiful woman. I’ve always had some feelings for you, but I get the impression that you think I be playin’.”

  “Jamal, having feelings for someone and just wanting to have sex with them are two different things. You don’t have feelings for me. Like most young men, all you’re thinking about is sex and who you’re going to get it from. Most of the time, after you get it, you move on and stamp ‘mission accomplished’ on your foreheads. I can’t control your thoughts about me, but I would appreciate it if you never tell anyone what you saw that night. I could lose my job, and I don’t want the others students viewing me as you probably already do.”

  “Your secret is safe with me. If I haven’t said anything to anyone about you and Coach Johnson, then you know I ain’t gon’ say nothin’.”

  She lowered her head and fumbled with her nails.

  “Are you in love with him?” I asked.

  She hesitated to answer, but did. “Yes, but . . .”

  “But he’s married, right?”

  “I know, but that doesn’t stop me from loving him. We’re working through some things right now, and hopefully everything will work out.”

  I stood up and walked to the other end of the couch where Ms. Macklin sat. “You deserve better,” I said. “Don’t let no nigga feed you no bullshit about him leavin’ his wife. If I had to make you a bet, I’d say you’re wastin’ your time.”

  Of course, she defended her situation. “Jamal, you know nothing about my relationship with the coach. I know what kind of future we have, and if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have hung on for as long as I have.”

  I lifted her chin, as she hadn’t even convinced herself. “Then you keep on hangin’ on then, and if you ever, ever think about just lettin’ yourself loose and havin’ some fun, let me know. I know you think I’m such a young boy, but like you say, I don’t know you; you don’t know me either. I got mad feelings for you, and I can bust a nut anywhere. It would be nice, however, if I can combine all this shit I’m feelin’, and lay it right into you.”

  Ms. Macklin seemed stunned by my bluntness. And when I leaned down to kiss her, I couldn’t believe that she had accepted the taste of my tongue. Her hands touched the back of my head, pulling me closer to her as she leaned back on the couch. My stomach had tightened, and I couldn’t believe that my hands were roaming on the sides of her legs. Our kissing had gotten even more intense, and my rock-hard dick was pressed into her hotspot. The pace of my heartbeat couldn’t keep up with the anxiousness I felt, but her dog right next to us, barking its head off, was annoying.

  “Ms. Macklin,” I whispered between kisses. “Please get your dog.”

  Our intense kiss came to a halt. “Patrice,” she said. “Call me Patrice, not ma.”

  I winked and smiled at her. “And, you can call me Prince.”

  We stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, then Ms. Macklin reached down, touching my belt buckle. I swear I had already busted two, three, five nuts; I was just that anxious about getting inside of her.

  “You gon’ love this shit,” I whispered while watching her pull my dick from my pants. It flopped out long, fat, and hard. She touched it, and the excitement in me was building by the second. I jumped up to remove my clothes, and Ms. Macklin slowly sat up. She covered her face with her hands and then rubbed her temples.

  “What are we doing, Jamal? We can’t do this.”

  “Oh, yes, we can,” I said with my pants at my ankles.

  Ms. Macklin grabbed my hand to stop me from getting undressed. “I’m sorry for doing this. But I . . . I think you should leave. This shouldn’t have happened.” She stood up, and when I hugged her waist, she turned away from me.

  “Sex between us is goin’ to happen. I can promise you that, ma. You can fight this all you want to, but you’re wastin’ your time. Let’s just do this shit, all right? I swear I’ll make it feel good, and I won’t tell nobody.”

  She stood in thought, then eased away from my embrace to pick up her barking dog. Seeing that she was making her way to the door, I felt disappointed. I pulled up my pants and tightened my belt.

  “I’m sorry,” she said again, and as soon as she opened the door, we saw Coach Johnson standing on the porch, getting ready to knock. He stepped inside, looking at Ms. Macklin, who couldn’t look into his eyes, and at me, who chose to stare him down.

  “Did I interrupt something?” he asked.

  Ms. Macklin started doing the same shit Mama did when she was busted, combing her hair back with her fingers. Too, she gave Coach Johnson a fake-ass smile, and hiked up on the tips of her toes to give him a kiss.

  “No, you didn’t interrupt anything. I just wanted to talk to Jamal about Romeo and about us. He understands that he’s not supposed to tell anyone.”

  Coach Johnson grinned and rubbed his goatee. He stepped farther into the living room, and held out his hand for me to shake it.

  “Are you playin’ in the game this weekend?” he asked. “You know we miss you.”

  I looked at his hand, and left him hanging. At that moment, I couldn’t stand his ass, nor did I want to play on the team that he was coaching. I told Ms. Macklin to have a good night. Even though I knew that sly muthafucka was about to dig deep into my woman, I also felt that my day was coming too.

  Finally, I’d gotten a call from Romeo. I accepted the charges. It was good to finally hear my partna speak on the other end.

  “What’s up?” was the first thing I said, with a huge grin on my face.

  “A whole lot.” He sounded upbeat. “But I don’t have a lot of time to explain. I’m expected to go before the judge next week, and I’m hopin’ he’ll set a low bond for me. The public defender said that they’d have to prove that I was the one who pulled the trigger. Ain’t nothin’ tyin’ me to that gun, and if anything, I may be charged with being an accessory to the crime. It looks like I may get minimal time, maybe just a few months, especially because of my age. That maybe a good thing. Nobody in here thinks I’ll be lookin’ at life or anything like that.”

  I felt relieved. “That’s good. Man, I wish you would have gone with me that night. I can’t wait to tell you about all that’s been going on. Make sure you let me know what’s up with court and you know I’ll be there.”

  “I’ll call you the early part of next week. In the meantime, call my grandmother and let her know what’s up. I may need her to see what she can do for me money-wise on her end, ’cause I don’t know if I can trust a public defender. See what you can come up with, too.”

  “All right, man. Be easy and I’ll see you next week.”

  Later that day I walked to Romeo’s house to talk to his grandmother. The smile on her face implied that she was happy to see me, but when we got into the kitchen where she was stirring a pot of greens, I wasn’t sure. I told her what Romeo said and she let me have it.

  “A public defender ain’t gon’ do nothing for that boy. They didn’t do nothin’ for his mama and they damn sure ain’t gon’ do nothin’ for him. He should have known better than to go out and do something so stupid, but Romeo been messing around like that for years. I told him his mess was going to catch up with him, but he didn’t listen. Y’all never, ever do, until it’s too late.”

  His grandmother wiped her wrinkly hands on her apron and slowly scooted over to the table with me. She had a slight stench on her, and it was the smell of urine. I felt so sorry for her, and it looked as if sh
e was barely hanging on. I helped her into the chair. She then picked up an apple from the table and started slicing it.

  “Do you think you’ll be able to go to court with me next week? I’m ridin’ the MetroLink downtown to the courthouse.”

  “I’m not sure what I’m going to do, Jamal. I’m getting tired of running, trying to save these kids. I’ve been running all of my life. I don’t have any money to put up for no bond and this house ain’t worth nothin’. Even if it was, this is all I got. I put up my house before for Romeo’s mother, and almost lost it. I tell you, boy, that I am sick to the pit of my stomach. I thought Romeo would turn out better than all the others. He had no business in those white folks’ house tryin’ to take nothin’. They gon’ make an example out of him, you wait and see. They waiting for boys like you and Romeo to get caught up, and when you stay in the streets like y’all do, you’re only asking for trouble.”

  I was quiet and let Romeo’s grandmother speak her piece. Many tears flowed from her eyes, and I reached over to hug her several times. She truly wanted the best for Romeo, but, according to her, it was too late for him. She wasn’t sure if she was going to court, but she told me it depended on how she felt.

  Chapter 9

  Things around my house were pretty sticky. Mama wasn’t saying much to me, and she had expressed her disappointment in me. She was upset because I hadn’t injected myself into her and Raylo’s argument. I reminded her what doing so had gotten me in the past—stabbed. With that, she threw her hand back, calling me all kinds of names and telling me that I was no longer her son. I knew she was mad because Raylo hadn’t come back since, so I didn’t trip. I stayed in my room, thinking about my progress with Ms. Macklin and Romeo. His court date was in a few days. He asked if I was able to come up with any money, and he also told me to go back to his grandmother’s house to get his car. I had no way of getting the kind of money he’d probably need, but I did have one option. I knew Mama told me never to go to Derrick for money, but I was desperate. I knew where I could find him, so I drove to his house, in hopes that he would come through for me this time.

  After ringing the doorbell several times, a beautiful young woman, looking to be in her mid-twenties, opened the door. She asked who I was, and when I told her that I was Derrick’s son, she let me inside. From the outside, I could tell the two-story house was dope, but the inside was off the chain. It was decorated with all black furniture and white accessories. I could see my image in the mirror-like white marble floors, and an L-shaped staircase led to the upper level. My so-called father was living it up; compared to this house, the house that Mama and I lived in was like living in hell.

  The woman invited me to take a seat on the black leather sofa, and then she turned on a plasma TV that was above a lit fireplace.

  “I’ll let Derrick know that you’re here. Is he expecting you?”

  “No. No, but I have somethin’ important I’d like to talk to him about.”

  She left the room and left me sitting there, mesmerized by the high, vaulted ceilings, the circular fish tank, and tall, glass-arched windows that gave a view of the backyard. An Olympic-sized swimming pool was in my view, and there were acres of nothing but land. Minutes later, Derrick strutted into the room, smiling as he talked to someone on the phone. When he saw me, his smile vanished and he ended his call. He gathered his black silk robe, tying it tighter before he took a seat.

  “I need to remind that skeeza she can’t open the door and let anyone into my house. Why are you here?” he asked.

  I couldn’t believe how nervous I was. Being around him made me feel that way. I rubbed my sweating hands together and was straightforward with him.

  “I came here to get a loan. My friend, Romeo, got into some trouble and he may need a couple . . . several grand to get out of jail. I wondered if you could help me.”

  Derrick slightly grinned and leaned back farther on the couch. “You couldn’t be serious, could you?”

  “I’m dead serious. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t. I know you got this thing where you don’t want shit to do with me, and I’m cool with that. But I didn’t have nowhere else to turn. If I didn’t have to be here, I wouldn’t have come.”

  Derrick stared at me before responding. “You . . . you know what I don’t like about you, nigga? I don’t like that you judged me before knowin’ anything about me. For years, you listened to that bitch-ass mother of yours, and every time I saw you on the streets, you treated me ill. It wasn’t that I turned my back on you, fool. You turned your back on me. Your mama fed you all that bullshit over the years, and when I was tryin’ to make shit right, she was up in another nigga’s face. I washed my hands of her ass, and of you. It’s too late for me to play Daddy, and, quite frankly, I don’t have time for it. You’re a grown-ass man now, doing shit how you wanna do it. I’m sure that fool Raylo has been takin’ good care of you. I don’t understand why you’re at my fuckin’ house, and not at his.”

  I frowned, and raised my voice. “Look, I don’t give a rat’s ass what went down between you and my mama. All I know is I’ve been the muthafucka left without. I am doin’ things my way, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t reach out if need be. Now, can you help me with this shit or not? If not, say so and I’ll get the fuck out of here.”

  Derrick gazed over at me with a twitching eye. “If I give you a loan, just how do you intend to pay me back?”

  I shrugged, not even thinking about paying him back. “I’m not sure, but over time, I’m sure I can do a bit of husslin’ and get your money back to you.”

  “Are you willin’ to move some shit around for me? I got all kinds of li’l bricklayers out there for me, helpin’ me build my empire. You can get on the payroll too, and if you’re over here tryin’ to borrow some money, then I suggest you consider helpin’ me too.”

  “I ain’t tryin’ to do it like that. I’m workin’ on gettin’ my boy out of jail, not tryin’ to make a way for me to get behind bars. Like I said, I got other ways of payin’ you back, just not slingin’ no dope.”

  Derrick’s cell phone rang, and when he looked to see who it was, he left the room. I waited for about fifteen minutes before he came back into the room with an envelope in his hand. He handed it to me.

  “I’m not sure how much you need for your partna, but this is all I can spare. Make sure I get every dime of it back. The next time you decide to pop up like this, your entry will be blocked.”

  I took the fat envelope from Derrick’s hand, wanting to shake it, but didn’t. Instead, I thanked him, and then turned to him before I walked out the door.

  “I will see to it that you get this back. I’ll send someone to bring it to you, especially since I’m not welcome.”

  Derrick nodded. I left, and couldn’t wait to get inside of the car to see how much it was. I tore open the envelope and couldn’t believe my eyes. I couldn’t believe how many bills there were. He had given me a whopping fifty dollars, and had the audacity to ask for it back. I could have gotten out of the car to kick his ass, and after sitting for a few minutes, that’s exactly what I decided to do. I rushed to the door, and kept buzzing the doorbell like I was crazy. This time, no one came to the door.

  “Answer the door, you sly-ass muthafucka,” I yelled. “Is this how you gon’ play me?”

  I got no answer, so instead of ringing the doorbell, I started banging on the door with my fist. “Come outside so I can kick yo’ ass! You ain’t shit, man, I swear yo’ ass ain’t nothin’!”

  I threw the envelope at the door, and the bills floated to the ground. As I started to walk away, I picked the biggest rock I could find in his landscaping setup, and tossed it into a window. Glass shattered everywhere. I figured that would get his attention. I rushed to Romeo’s car to get my Glock from underneath the seat. As soon as I backed out of the car with it, Derrick was standing in the doorway with a 9 mm in his hand. I aimed my gun in his direction.

  “Punk-ass muthafucka,” he spat. “If you shoot, you’d
betta not miss. Now, I gave you all that I’m gon’ give you, so you’d betta get in that piece of shit–ass car and get it off my property before yo’ mama be buryin’ yo’ ass.”

  I sucked my teeth, knowing that I could take him out in an instant. Without saying a word, I tossed my gun on the front seat of Romeo’s car and slowly walked toward the door. My eyes stared deeply into Derrick’s, and not once did I look at the gun that was still aimed at me. I stepped up close to Derrick, then put his gun on my heaving chest.

  “Stop talkin’ that bullshit and put me out of my misery. If not, I swear to you that I am goin’ to be your worst fuckin’ enemy. You got your chance, today, to settle this, and if you don’t, I will never, ever give you this chance again.”

  Derrick’s eye twitched again, and he slowly removed the gun from my chest. He said nothing else to me, and after a few more seconds of being stared down, he went back into the house, slamming the door behind him.

  Ol’ punk-ass fool, I thought. Not only was he not man enough to take care of me, but he wasn’t even man enough to kill his number-one enemy. I was sure the day would come when he wished he had.

  Romeo’s arraignment was on Tuesday, so I had missed another day of school. I couldn’t wait to get to school yesterday, only to find that Ms. Macklin had called in sick. That really messed up my day. I hoped that she got well soon. Coach Johnson was real short with me during practice, but I didn’t trip. It did me good to let out some steam, and the best way to do it was during practice.

  When Tuesday rolled around, I called Romeo’s grandmother to see if she was going to court with me. She didn’t answer her phone, and when I stopped by her house, she didn’t open her door. People were killing me with that shit. If you didn’t want to be bothered by someone, then just open the damn door and say so. I left, just so I could make it to court on time.

  Surprisingly, the courtroom wasn’t as crowded as I expected it to be. There were a bunch of uppity lawyers walking around, whispering to each other, and several people sat spaced out on the wooden benches. I sat in the far back, eyeballing everyone who came through the door, and everyone who left. The judge came in, and everyone was asked to rise. I stayed in my muthafucking seat, and bent down as if I were busy tying my tennis shoes. I wasn’t sure if anyone noticed, and, quite frankly, I didn’t care.