The Midwife's New Year Wish

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘How about a toast? May all those reporters end up with chilblains for their efforts!’

  ‘I’ll second that!’ Katie clinked her glass against his then took a sip of her wine. ‘Mmm, that’s nice. Definitely better than your average pub wine.’

  ‘Good. Some of it can taste like vinegar, which is why I usually stick to good old-fashioned beer.’ He took a swallow of his drink and sighed ecstatically, deliberately hamming things up because he wanted to keep the mood light. ‘Delicious even if it is shandy rather than the pure stuff.’

  ‘Well, it may be delicious but I don’t think you actually wanted a beer moustache, did you?’

  Katie leant across the table and wiped a smidgen of froth off his upper lip and Nick almost leapt right out of his seat. He set his glass on a coaster but his heart was pounding and various other bits of his anatomy were doing things he didn’t dare think about. Taking a handkerchief out of his pocket, he carefully wiped his mouth, trying not to think about how cool Katie’s fingers had felt when they’d touched him. It was best not to go down that route and definitely safer not to wonder how they’d feel on other parts of his body…

  Nick groaned under his breath because, predictably, he now couldn’t think of anything else. Katie’s fingers would be so cool as they stroked him and he ached to feel them caressing him, but he had to be sensible and not forget those rules he’d made. He mustn’t do anything that might hurt Katie and if that meant him suffering then it would be worth it.

  ‘Are you OK?’

  He looked up, feeling his stomach lurch when he saw the concern in her eyes. ‘I’m fine,’ he assured her robustly, hoping that he might be able to convince himself as well as her. ‘I’m just hungry. I never had time for any lunch today and my stomach is complaining.’

  ‘Oh, I see. I thought you looked a bit distracted.’

  She laughed and Nick smiled because there wasn’t much else he could do. Keep it light, Lawson, he reminded himself sternly, be witty and amusing and everything will be fine. He picked up his glass again as he hunted for something to say, but Katie beat him to it.

  ‘It’s been ages since I last came here. It’s a bit of a trek from the hospital so we tend to use the pubs along the by-pass if we go out for a drink after work. This makes a very pleasant change.’

  ‘I thought it might be better if we went further afield,’ Nick explained, gratefully latching onto the new topic. ‘Those reporters have probably got the local pubs staked out in the hope they’ll find someone from the hospital willing to talk to them.’

  ‘I doubt they’ll get much joy. Most of the staff probably feel the same way we do and won’t want to talk to the press.’

  ‘Let’s hope so,’ Nick agreed, wishing he could be as sure of that as she was. As he knew to his cost, the lure of talking to the press often overruled a person’s scruples.

  Katie put down her glass and looked at him. ‘Look, Nick, tell me to mind my own business if you like, but did the press ever cause you a problem?’ She shrugged when he didn’t reply. ‘You have this really funny tone in your voice whenever you mention the press and it makes me wonder if something happened to you personally.’

  Nick stared into his glass, wondering how to answer the question. He never spoke about Mike’s accident and the trouble it had caused because it was too painful, yet he didn’t want to lie to Katie. Maybe he could give her an edited version of events?

  ‘My experience of the press goes back to when my brother was killed a few years ago,’ he said quietly. ‘I don’t want to go into detail. Suffice to say that the press made our lives hell.’

  ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Nick! I had no idea. I wish I hadn’t said anything now. I certainly didn’t want to go raking up a lot of bad memories for you.’

  Nick sighed when he heard the guilt in her voice because he couldn’t bear to hear her blaming herself when there was no need. ‘It’s not your fault, Katie. You weren’t to know what happened, were you?’

  ‘No, but—’

  ‘No buts. You have nothing to be sorry for. OK?’

  ‘OK,’ she repeated obediently, but he could tell that she was upset even though she did her best not to show it.

  Fortunately, their meal arrived a few minutes later so in the general confusion of handing round silverware and condiments the subject was dropped. Nick knew he should be relieved to have got off so lightly but, perversely, he found himself wishing that he’d told Katie the whole story while he’d had the chance. Maybe she could have helped him deal with these feelings of guilt that had haunted him all these years? If Katie told him that he had nothing to blame himself for it would make a world of difference. Even though it scared him to admit it, her opinion really mattered to him.

  The conversation had put a bit of a dampener on the evening and Katie found it difficult to behave as though nothing was wrong when she felt so bad about upsetting Nick. She did her best to keep the conversation flowing but she was glad when Nick suggested that they should go back to the hospital as soon as they’d finished their meal. She followed him out of the pub, waiting by the car while he hunted through his pockets for his keys.

  ‘I wonder if they fell out of your pocket when you took your coat off,’ she suggested when a second search failed to find them.

  ‘They could have done, I suppose. D’you want to hang on here while I go back and check?’

  ‘Sure. No problem.’

  Katie pulled up her coat collar as Nick sprinted back to the pub. It was a cold night and she shivered when an icy breeze blew across the car park. There were a lot of cars parked there and she looked round when another car pulled into an empty space close to where she was standing. As Katie watched, she saw a man get out and walk towards the pub and she frowned when she realised that it was the reporter who’d tried to sneak into the maternity unit that afternoon. What was he doing here?

  The question had just crossed her mind when a taxi turned into the car park. It stopped outside the pub and she gasped when she saw Gary Hutchins, the junior registrar on Paediatrics, climb out. He went straight over to the reporter and said something to him then they both went inside together.

  Katie could barely contain her impatience as she waited for Nick to come back. She had a feeling that she might have solved the mystery about who had been responsible for revealing that information about Jodie Carmichael to the press. She hurried across the car park when she saw Nick coming out of the door.

  ‘Sorry to keep you waiting,’ he said, misinterpreting her eagerness to speak to him. ‘Someone had found the keys and handed them to the barman for safe-keeping.’

  ‘Did you see who just went into the pub?’ she demanded, grabbing hold of his arm.

  ‘No. Why? What’s wrong?’

  ‘I just saw Gary Hutchins with that reporter who tried to worm his way into Maternity this afternoon.’

  ‘Who’s Gary Hutchins?’ Nick asked, frowning.

  ‘He’s the junior reg on Paeds and a really nasty piece of work from what I can gather.’

  ‘Really?’ Nick’s expression was grim as he looked back at the pub. ‘There was a junior reg from Paeds in Resus when Jodie Carmichael was admitted. I remember him because he was giving the staff such a hard time.’

  ‘Then it must be him who’s been speaking to the press!’ Katie exclaimed. ‘He probably saw you with Jodie and put two and two together.’

  ‘It sounds highly likely. He could have got her details from the admissions form. It was bedlam in there, with people coming and going all the time so nobody would have thought anything of it if he’d checked her notes.’ Nick swore softly. ‘Damn! It was all written down just ready for Hutchins to copy out.’

  ‘So you really think he could be the culprit?’ Katie demanded eagerly. ‘I mean, it has to be someone from inside the hospital who’s been passing on that information to the press. Nobody else could have got hold of the details they’ve published.’

  ‘I’d lay odds on it being him. That being the case, I�
�d like to know what’s going on at this very moment.’ Nick’s tone was grim. ‘If Hutchins has arranged to meet that reporter here, it probably means that he’s got more information for him.’

  ‘Oh, of course!’ Katie exclaimed in horror.

  She hastily followed Nick back into the pub and spotted Gary and the reporter sitting at a table in the corner. They were deep in conversation and her heart sank because it was obvious that the young registrar was telling the other man something of interest.

  ‘I want to find out what’s going on,’ Nick said flatly. ‘There’s no way that pair is going to cause any more trouble for that poor kid.’

  ‘I’m coming with you,’ Katie said hurriedly. She was worried what Nick might do if their suspicions proved to be correct. It was obvious that he was in no mood to compromise and she really couldn’t blame him.

  They made their way through the crowd that had gathered round the bar and went to the table. Gary was so busy talking that he never noticed them until they were standing beside him. Katie saw the colour leach from his face when he suddenly looked up.

  ‘What do you want?’ he demanded.

  ‘What do you think?’ Nick said quietly but with such menace that Katie heard the younger man gulp. ‘It’s you who’s been passing all that information to the press, isn’t it, Hutchins?’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Hutchins blustered. ‘Who the hell do you think you are, accusing me like that?’

  ‘You probably got the details off the admissions form,’ Nick continued, without letting him finish. ‘The fact that it was privileged information didn’t matter a jot to you. All you were interested in was the money. What did they pay you for it? I hope it was enough to live on because once the powers that be find out what you’ve been up to you’ll be looking for a new job.’

  ‘Are you threatening me?’ Hutchins demanded, his face turning livid with anger.

  Nick shook his head. ‘No. I don’t make threats. If I say I’m going to do something I do it.’ He glanced at the reporter and Katie shivered when she saw the contempt on his face. ‘I don’t know what our friend here has told you tonight but I’d be very careful what I printed if I were you.’

  He swung round, placing his hand under Katie’s elbow as he led her away from the table. Katie could feel herself trembling as they left the pub and went back to the car. The whole experience had shocked her so much that she felt positively sickened by it all. Nick didn’t say a word as they drove back to the hospital and she guessed that he felt as bad as she did about what had happened. They parked in the staff area and Nick switched off the engine then turned to her.

  ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Just about.’ She gave a wobbly laugh then bit her lip when she felt tears sting her eyes.

  Nick sighed as he reached over and pulled her into his arms. ‘I’m only sorry you had to witness that, Katie. It was horrible. No wonder you’re upset.’

  He gently smoothed her hair back from her cheek. Katie knew that he was only trying to comfort her but the touch of his hand on her skin had unleashed a host of emotions she simply wasn’t prepared for. She could feel her cheek tingling and the feeling seemed to be spreading through her entire body so that every cell and every nerve were suddenly aware of him in a way she’d never been aware of anyone before.

  She gave a soft murmur and saw his eyes darken when he realised what was happening. She was actually holding her breath as she stared up at him because she had no idea what was going to happen next. And then his head started to dip and she closed her eyes because it would be just too much to look at him while he kissed her.

  His lips touched hers so softly, so gently that she shivered. She could feel their coolness yet the moment their mouths met, a wave of heat enveloped her. Katie murmured in delight as Nick’s lips settled more firmly onto hers. There was nothing rushed or urgent about the kiss but maybe that was what made it so seductive. Hunger and passion had their place, of course, and she didn’t deny that she hoped both would come later. But this slow, tender caress made her feel so wonderfully cherished. Her heart swelled with happiness because Nick obviously wanted to take his time and savour this kiss…

  ‘I’m sorry, Katie. I shouldn’t have done that.’

  Nick let her go so fast that Katie’s head reeled with shock. She stared at him in confusion, trying to work out what was going on. One minute he’d been kissing her with a wealth of emotion and the next…

  He ran a trembling hand over his face and her heart seemed to shrivel up when she saw the remorse in his eyes. She didn’t need to hear what he had to say because she could tell just by looking at him how much he regretted what had happened.

  ‘I didn’t mean to take advantage of you like that,’ he said hoarsely. ‘I apologise.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ she whispered, her mouth trembling from the effort of forming the words. ‘It was just one of those spur-of-the-moment things, I expect, so don’t beat yourself up about it.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He gave her a tight smile then opened the car door. ‘I’ll walk you back to make sure those reporters have left then go and phone Niall. He needs to know what’s happened tonight.’

  Katie didn’t say another word as she got out of the car. She couldn’t. The feeling of disappointment that filled her was so enormous that she could barely breathe as they walked up the path together but pride dictated that she mustn’t let Nick see how devastated she felt. There was nobody about when they reached the staff block so Nick just waited while she let herself in then left.

  Katie went straight to her room and sat down on the bed. She didn’t bother switching on the light because it demanded too much effort. Anyway, she didn’t need the light on to see the truth because she could see it just as clearly in the dark.

  Nick didn’t feel the same about her as she did about him. Oh, maybe he felt something, but it wasn’t what she felt. It couldn’t be because he could never have kissed her like that then let her go, and realising it was like rubbing salt into an open wound. She’d sworn she wouldn’t get involved with Nick too quickly but it was already too late to prevent what was happening. She could pretend, of course, but what would be the point of doing that? It wouldn’t alter the fact that she cared for Nick in a way that she’d cared for no man before, including David.

  She bit her lip as panic overwhelmed her. Despite her resolve to be sensible, she knew that she was on the verge of falling in love with Nick and the enormity of what was happening scared her. How awful it would be to fall in love with a man who might never love her in return.

  ‘Yes, that’s fine. Thanks, Niall. I’ll write a full report about what happened tonight and have it ready for you in the morning.’

  Nick put the phone back on its rest and swiftly left the office. He made his way to the stairs, relieved when he didn’t meet anyone along the way because he really didn’t feel like being sociable. That episode with Katie had left him feeling completely drained. Now all he wanted was to find somewhere quiet where he could sit and think about what he was going to do.

  The residents’ lounge on the second floor was empty so he went in there and made himself a cup of coffee. He checked his watch as he sat down, hoping that nobody would come in and interrupt him. He could have gone back to his room, of course, but he didn’t trust himself to do that just yet. Knowing that Katie was on the floor below him would have tested his resolve to its limit. He had to stay away from her but it was going to be the hardest thing he’d ever had to do after tonight.

  Nick groaned as he recalled the expression on her face when she’d got out of the car. It didn’t take a genius to work out that he’d hurt her and it was the last thing he’d wanted to do. It was just that he’d known what would happen if he’d carried on kissing her, as she’d been expecting him to do. One kiss would never have been enough, would it? He’d have wanted two, three—a dozen even—and it wouldn’t have stopped there. Once he’d savoured her mouth he’d have wanted her in his bed,
her body sweet and pliant under his, her eyes filled with that warmth that made him feel as though miracles could happen.

  He’d have wanted to make love to her, to fill her body with his and her head with promises of undying devotion, but he didn’t have the right to do that. He had forfeited his right to love and happiness with a woman like Katie, who could fill his every waking hour with joy, when Mike had died. What right did he have to enjoy all those things when his brother was dead?

  Anger and frustration washed over him and Nick got to his feet. He needed to focus on something other than his own problems if he was to get through this night. Someone had left a notepad on the coffee-table so he tore off a few sheets of paper and sat down at the desk. He would make a start on that report which Niall needed, jot down all the facts first to make sure he didn’t miss anything out, then go back to the office and type it up. Hopefully, something good would come from this night after all.

  As for Katie, he would just have to make sure that he didn’t put himself in the position of being tested again. Katie must be strictly off limits from now on. He would be polite and courteous to her at work but that was as far as it would go. There certainly mustn’t be any more outings to the pub! Katie deserved so much more than he could give her even if his heart did shrivel up at the thought of her finding happiness with anyone else.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  KATIE was working from six till two the following day so she was already in the delivery suite when Abbey came to tell her that Niall wanted to speak to her. She knew it must be important if he’d asked to speak to her when she was with a patient so she excused herself and hurried to the office. Nick was there when she arrived as well as Martin Hopkins, the hospital’s manager, and another man whom she didn’t recognise. It was obvious that something really serious had happened from the expressions on their faces and she couldn’t help feeling alarmed as she went into the room.