The Girl Worth Fighting for (The Girl #2)

by Julia Goda

  “Exactly. You’ve had an extremely hot and perfectly nice guy chasing you for the past month, and you don’t even give him the time of day. Instead, you go out with patronizing assholes who split the dinner bill in half and don’t even have the decency to walk you to your car or, God forbid, drive you home. Or you waste your time with narcissistic dicks who only talk about themselves without wanting to know the first thing about you.”

  Great. Now she was bringing up my not so successful dates in the past few months. Granted, Jake had been a huge jerk. I had met him at the grocery store of all places, when he’d stood behind me in line at the check out. He’d been cute and funny and seemed interested in getting to know me. Turned out he was only interested in himself, since that was all he’d been talking about all night. And Hugh…Well, Hugh had been the worst date in history. We’d gone out to dinner to a nice Italian restaurant, not too fancy, not too plain, but cozy and original, kind of old-fashioned with its red-and-white-checkered tablecloths and homemade pasta dishes; just exactly right. I’d had a good feeling, been optimistic. The food had been delicious, the company…not so much. Don’t get me wrong, Hugh was cute, but he was also very arrogant and somewhat condescending. A major turn off. When the waiter had brought our menus and left us to decide, he had informed me we would be splitting the bill, since he was sure I was an independent woman who believed in gender equality, and anyway, he never spent any money on women unless he got something in return. That comment alone should have made me get up and leave without another word. But it got even worse when he asked what it is I do for a living. This was after he explained to me in boring detail what it’s like to be a successful mortgage broker and what his five-year plan looked like. When I told him I was passionate about working with children in need, he scolded me and stated working with street kids was an unsuccessful venture, that you couldn’t help someone who chose to live on the streets, that it was a waste of time to even try. Thankfully, he’d dropped that bomb close to the end of dinner as the waiter was clearing our table and asked if we were interested in dessert. I declined politely, then grabbed my purse, dug out some money, and threw it on the table, then got up and left without saying another word. That had been the last date I had been on, which was a little over a month ago. I doubted I would go on another one any time soon. Jake and Hugh hadn’t been the only assholes I had gone out with; there were more, but I won’t go into detail.

  That would be too damn depressing.

  “Why won’t you give him a chance?” Bobby asked when I sighed but didn’t say anything more. My head snapped up from my plate, and I clenched my teeth and took a deep breath before I said too much. I liked Bobby, I really did, but I wasn’t ready to discuss my past with her. I knew I could trust her, but I wasn’t ready to open myself up to someone else quite yet. I was still getting used to being that close to Lizzy, to have a friend I could confide in.

  Lizzy leaned forward and put her hand on mine on the table. I looked down and saw that both my hands were clenched into fists.

  “It’s okay, Rainey,” she said quietly, soothing me. I took another deep breath and released the tension in my hands.

  “I sense a story there,” Bobby murmured, her eyes on my hands, then she lifted her gaze and looked me in the eyes. I stared back at her but remained quiet, silently trying to convey my thoughts to her, that I wasn’t ready to share my story with her. Not yet.

  “Okay, I won’t push. At least not today.”

  I exhaled, relieved, then pulled my hand out from under Lizzy’s and resumed eating my Lemon Chicken. After a few moments of silence in which I knew both Lizzy and Bobby stared at me, Bobby switched her attention to Lizzy with, “So, your hot husband is driving you up the wall?” Making me grin into my food.

  Lizzy rolled her eyes. “Don’t get me started. Ever since we found out our baby is a girl, he’s turned into a complete caveman.”

  “Honey, I hate to break it to you, but Cole has been a caveman for as long as I’ve known him, at least when it comes to you. And don’t pretend you don’t think it’s hot.”

  Lizzy sighed in resignation. “I do. Most of the time. But it stops when he tries to order me when and what to eat, or how much and how long I’m allowed to be on my feet before I have to take a break. It’s suffocating.”

  “I bet it is,” Bobby agreed. “Still, I think it’s extremely endearing that he wants to take care of you and your daughter like that. Imagine how it is for him, not being able to do anything, with all the responsibility of growing your baby on you. A man like Cole isn’t used to letting someone else take over. Give him some credit.”

  “Fine. You’re right. I can’t wait until it’s your turn to fall in love with an overbearing man who drives you absolutely insane.”

  “Huh, right. That’s never gonna happen,” Bobby murmured under her breath, her eyes lowering to her plate. I looked at her, scrutinizing.

  “I sense a story there,” I commented, repeating her words from a few minutes ago.

  “Yeah, I think someone is holding out on us,” Lizzy agreed.

  Bobby narrowed her eyes on me. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” My eyes narrowed on her in response. “Fair enough,” I replied.

  “Hey, I showed you mine,” Lizzy stated, sounding a little taken aback at Bobby’s evident lack of trust. Bobby’s eyes softened on her. “I know, honey. And I am so very grateful for the trust you put in me. I’m sorry you feel like I don’t trust you enough to confide in you, but I promise I will share my story with you. With both of you.” She gazed back at me before her eyes met her plate again. “It’s just that…I don’t know where…if…” She sighed. “Look, I’ve never talked about it before. Not since it happened. Not in almost two decades. I don’t know if I can or what’s gonna happen when I open that can of worms. I trust you. I want you to know my story. I just don’t know how to tell it quite yet.”

  Wow. I didn’t know what to say. I was speechless. Bobby was the most fearless and self-assured person I knew. Seeing her like this, sad and hesitant, timid and uncertain, told me something really bad must have happened to her. And almost two decades ago, she said. That made her what? Fifteen? A teenager. I knew only too well the amount of dark things that could happen to a teenage girl. So did Lizzy. Hell, we all did. I also knew that in ninety percent of the cases, those dark things happened at home, giving me an idea of what might have happened to Bobby. But I wouldn’t push. I’d give her the same space she had given me.

  “God, I’m such a hypocrite. Here I sit, not wanting to talk about me, when every day I make abused kids talk to me and trust me.”

  “Bobby,” Lizzy got her attention. “I’m sure I can speak for both Rainey and me when I say that we understand. We’re not going to push. Just know we’re always here when you need us. No judgement. Okay?”

  Bobby’s grateful eyes misted with tears, but she kept them in. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I know I can trust you. I really do.”

  “That’s why you do it, isn’t it? And why you’re so passionate about helping abused children.”

  Bobby nodded. “Yeah.” Lizzy and I said nothing more, our understanding eyes on Bobby as she took one long breath and pulled herself together. “Look at us,” she said. “We’re quite the group, aren’t we?”

  “That we definitely are,” I agreed.

  Lizzy smiled. “Yeah, we are. And you know what? I’m proud to be friends with you. I’ve never had girlfriends before. Now I have so many I don’t know who to call first when I’ve got something I need to talk about, or vent to, or share news with. I never thought I’d feel this way, but despite the danger of sounding disgustingly cheesy, I have to say, I feel quite blessed to call such passionate, loyal, and honest women as you my friends.”

  Bobby and I grinned at each other. “Jeez, woman, did the pregnancy hormones get to you? You’re getting soft on us,” I teased. Bobby laughed. And Lizzy snickered.

  “Shut up, bitch. I’m allowed one soft moment a day. What
else is there to gain from being pregnant?”

  “Uhm, a baby?” I deadpanned.

  “Funny, aren’t you? Maybe we should rehash the topic of Logan?” She was taunting me. I grinned at her.

  “Nothing to talk about. I’ve just now decided to become celibate. Who needs a man anyways? All they do is let you down or piss you off. From now on, I’ll be blissfully happy by myself. With my wide range of vibrators, of course.”

  “Of course,” Bobby smiled and nodded in agreement. “I’d have to agree with you there. I have yet to meet a man who is worth the trouble, one who isn’t intimidated by my professional success, one who doesn’t just see me as a challenge, to capture the shark, one who sees and wants me for me, taking the good with the bad. I’ll join your club.”

  “The hell you are. I want all my friends to be happy. To find a man who loves them like Cole loves me. And yes, I blame this desire for my friends to be gleefully happy on being pregnant,” she added when she saw the looks on both our faces. “So sue me.” She shoved the rest of her food into her mouth, then sighed contentedly and leaned back in her chair, challenging us with her eyes to argue with her. I had no inclination to do so. Never argue with a pregnant woman. It never ends pretty. That’s a lesson I’d learned in the past couple of months.

  Both Bobby and I stayed silent and finished our meals. I could tell Lizzy booked this one as a win, even though she knew we hadn’t agreed with her, but who cared? I wasn’t going to let anyone force me to do something I didn’t want to do. I was not going out with Logan, or anyone else for that matter, but especially Logan. No way in hell. I knew exactly the type of man he was and had no interest whatsoever in setting myself up for that kind of heartbreak.

  Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt.

  ***

  Later that afternoon, I was sitting in the common room with a handful of our regulars as well as Steve, playing guitar and singing. Steve was Cole’s best friend. He was also the lead guitarist in a cover rock band. He had been coming around for a few months now, hanging out with the kids and giving casual guitar lessons to anyone who was interested. And yes, he had asked me out. Numerous times. I had declined every single offer for the same reason I wanted nothing to do with Logan: he was a wannabe celebrity, at least in my eyes. The reason we could be friends now was because he’d backed off. It hadn’t taken much for him to do so. Some well-chosen comments combined with my iron firm refusal to let him take me to dinner or a movie, or just a coffee, were all it took for him to get the message. I was glad, because Steve is a great person. Cool, laid-back, non-judgemental. Fun to be around.

  Now, if only Logan would get the hint. But I was afraid after what he said this morning that my wishful thinking would be fruitless. He wasn’t about to give up. And that pissed me off and scared me at the same time. I had to make him leave me alone, to dislike me, actually, so he wouldn’t dig into my past, into who I was. He didn’t have the right to know.

  Nobody did unless I deemed it so.

  Pushing thoughts of him aside, I looked to Ashley, a sixteen-year-old girl who had been coming around these past few weeks. She had come out of nowhere. Nobody had seen her before; she just appeared on our doorstep one day and had been coming every day since then. She was a tough one. All the kids were, but Ashley had a sharpness and at the same time a vulnerability about her that made my heart ache more than it already did whenever a new kid came to the shelter. She’d come here for the past month or so, and so far, nobody had gotten through to her. Not even Lizzy. And she was the best when it came to our tough cases. Ashley never stayed the night, nobody knew where she went, not even the other kids. She kept to herself. Always. But for some reason, Ashley liked to be around me, especially when I got my guitar out and jammed either by myself or with Steve, so it didn’t surprise me she was one of the kids sitting around us on the couches. She never talked much or interacted. She was just kind of there. She hadn’t given me an opening yet, but I was a patient person. I was determined to help her.

  “Ashley, your turn to pick a song,” I said as I strummed the chords.

  She never gave anything away, but I could see by the slightest flicker in her eyes I had surprised her. She knew I knew she didn’t like to talk, especially in front of other people, but I had to start somewhere, had to somehow get her to come out of her cocoon. To my shock and relief, she didn’t get up and leave, as I had feared she would since she had done just that more than once, but opened her mouth and said in a low but firm voice, “I like the one you played last week. The one about the waterfall.”

  I started strumming the beginning of the song I thought she was talking about. “You mean this one?”

  She nodded. I smiled at her and nodded toward Steve to join me. “Can you play it?”

  “I sure can. You’ve got good taste,” he said through a smile he directed at Ashley.

  Ashley didn’t acknowledge him. She never did men or boys, always pretended they didn’t exist. Like I said, she made my heart ache more than usual.

  “She sure does,” I agreed with Steve as we played the intro to “Waterfall” by The Neal Morse Band, a beautiful song about shattered dreams, about sorrows and pain, and about finding peace in that special place where you could let go and be free. For me, it was a song about hope. Every time I listened to, or played, or sang that song, I got goose bumps. The first time I had heard it, I had to play it over and over again until I knew every word. Then I got out my guitar and hit repeat again and again until I could play the whole song. The lyrics were exceptional; the whole song was. It touched me deeply. And Ashley choosing that song told me it touched her deeply too, that we were kindred spirits on some level, which in return gave me hope I would break through, that she would eventually let me in. But I had to gain her trust first. And I was determined to prove myself to her. No matter how long it took.

  I closed my eyes and started singing this masterpiece, losing myself in it, in its words and in its world. When I opened my eyes again while the sound of the last strum was still in the air, my breath whooshed out of my lungs and I stilled.

  Logan was standing across the room, his eyes on me. His hot and determined eyes. They had a power to them that left me shocked. And terrified.

  Shit.

  Logan

  Logan couldn’t take his eyes off of the beauty that was Rainey.

  He had walked in only minutes before, had heard her play her guitar and sing before he even entered the room, pulled closer by her unbelievably sexy and throaty voice as if pulled by some invisible string. Good god, she was something. Desire so hot he thought it would melt his insides was coursing through his body.

  He wanted her.

  But not just her body. Oh, no.

  He wanted her.

  And as he was standing across the room from her, unable to move his eyes away, frozen in time, he realized he was already in so much deeper than he had thought.

  For him, there was no turning back.

  He got that she was scared, that she was trying to protect herself from heartbreak. But fuck it; he wasn’t going to let her push him away any longer. No fucking way. He’d paid his dues.

  Watching her sing that song, seeing the emotions flitting across her face, the sorrow, the pain, the peace when she sang about finding that place where she could let go of all her sorrows and be free, sealed it for him. He wanted to be that place for her, the place where she could be herself, where she felt safe and free. Everything he saw, everything he learned about her, made him that much more determined.

  He wanted to be her waterfall.

  Yeah, she was gorgeous. Only a blind man would deny her beauty. Though, even a blind man would see how truly magnificent she was. But that wasn’t what he was after.

  No.

  Logan wasn’t a man who, contrary to her apparent belief, drowned himself in women and used them for his pleasure before he got rid of them.

  Oh, no.

  Growing up with a single mother who divorced his father aft
er she found out he cheated on her when Logan was ten years old, had taught him early on to respect women. Even in high school he had never been a player or even a serial dater. He was a one-woman-at-a-time man.

  And he was now officially off the market.

  And he would make it very clear that so was she, to both her and any man who came sniffing around her.

  The song stopped, and she met his eyes. He saw something in them he hadn’t seen before, something that told him she knew exactly what he was thinking. Something that told him she knew to brace for what was about to come.

  Oh yeah, baby. You better brace.

  He stepped further into the room. Still, her eyes stayed glued to his. As if she couldn’t help herself but watch his every move, as if she were captivated by him.

  That’s right, baby. Keep your eyes on mine. Read what I’m telling you.

  Someone clearing their throat snapped her out of her daze and she turned her head to Steve. Logan’s eyes followed and narrowed on the man. Steve grinned at him, knowingly. Then his chin lifted in understanding—amused understanding it seemed like—when Logan didn’t avert his eyes.

  Movement on the couch made him look back at Rainey. She was getting up slowly, her guitar in one hand, the other brushing her hair back, her eyes still on Steve. He had to crack a small smile when he saw her glaring at him just like he had just done, but for a different reason. She had seen their non-verbal communication and wasn’t happy about it.

  Game on, firecracker.

  He knew he was going to love this. All the frustration he had experienced in the past month about this woman—his woman—he now welcomed. It fueled his determination. Nothing and nobody would keep him from claiming her. Not even Rainey herself.

  When he reached her, the room was still quiet, but now her eyes were back on him. Logan could see that her shield was back up and he looked forward to taking on the challenge of taking it down once and for all.

  “What do you want?” Her voice was snippy and dismissive.

  Oh, yeah. I’m gonna enjoy this.