by Julia Goda
“She is.” My eyes shot to him. Logan didn’t seem to mind being the butt of the joke. The opposite seemed to be true. He was smiling. They had talked about me. Pete knew who I was and what Logan wanted from me.
“All right then. It’s nice to meet you, Rainey.”
My eyes went back to Pete and I shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you too. I think.” I wasn’t quite sure what to make of this.
“You seem to be full of surprises. Judging by the look on my boy’s face here, he didn’t know you can box.” Pete was still shaking my hand when he touched my arms with his free hand.
I swallowed. Here we go. “I had a few lessons years back.” Pete’s eyes crinkled at the corner.
“You had more than a few lessons, girl. Who trained you?”
“Uhm…” There was no way I was going to share that information. So I just shrugged. He let go of my hand and arm and took a step back. Logan moved his hand from the small of my back to around my waist and pulled me into his side. Pete’s eyes turned bright as he watched this. Then he looked at Logan and nodded one quick jerky nod.
“You ready to roll?”
Logan’s hand tightened on my waist.
“Gotta drop Rainey at home then I’ll be back. Where’s Jay?”
“He had an appointment. He’ll be here later.”
“All right, old man. Give me an hour.”
“Sure thing, sure thing.” Then his eyes came back to me. “See you later, sweetheart.”
“Sure,” I said, still a little out of breath from my workout.
“Let’s go.” Logan pulled me with him as he walked through the throng of still staring men to the front door, his arm staying tight around me. I knew it was a claiming move to tell the other guys to back off, but I wasn’t fighting it. I didn’t want to cause a scene with everyone staring after us as we left. Neither of us said a word, not as the door closed behind us, not as he led me to his truck, not as he opened the passenger side door and guided me in, not when he swung in his side and started the truck, not as he pulled out and drove me home. Not when he parked in front of my house, not when he walked me to my door, not when I unlocked the door. Not until we were standing in my living room. And all this time I racked my brain to come up with a plausible lie or a strategy to blow him off.
And failed.
Logan
Logan couldn’t get the vision of Rainey hitting the heavy bag out of his head. That’s exactly what she had been: a vision.
He had known from the moment they walked into the gym that something wasn’t what he’d been thinking. In the truck when she had given herself the pep talk, he had thought she was worried about being in a room full of boxers, with big, burly men who knew how to fight and hurt someone. Not that they ever would unless it was to defend themselves. That’s not how Pete ran his gym. If he ever found out one of his boys started a fight outside the ring when it wasn’t about defending or protecting someone, they’d be out on their asses. Everyone who signed up with him knew the score. It was the first thing Pete makes everyone crossing the threshold promise: be honourable. Be smart. Be respectful. If you didn’t abide by his rules, you were out, no matter how old you were, how good of a fighter you were, how much he respected or loved you. So Logan knew Rainey didn’t need to be worried or feel intimidated.
But he also knew it wasn’t easy for a woman, any woman, to walk into a predominantly male boxing gym and not be intimidated. And considering he still wasn’t a hundred percent sure what had happened for her to hate boxers so much and the possibility of someone having hit her, hurt her, was still torturing his mind, he was being careful and reassuring.
As soon as they had walked in, though, and he had noticed how she deflected Johnny’s flirting, he knew her apprehension hadn’t been about that. There had been something about the vibe she’d been giving off he hadn’t been able to put his finger on. So he’d watched her every move, listened to her every word, focused on her every expression.
She had been anxious, almost riled up, when they’d walked in at first. Anxious, not scared or worried. Her hands had been twitching the whole time she’d let her eyes wander, flexing, clenching and unclenching into fists constantly. He didn’t think she’d been aware of it. Then when Jesse had led them to the back room, she’d watched Sam during his slip rope training, fascinated. But it wasn’t just that. It was like she’d been studying him, almost anticipating his moves and unconsciously moving her head with him. And she’d known what it was called. That had thrown him a little. There weren’t a lot of people who knew what slip rope training was; even less people would actually know what it was called. So for Rainey, someone who he thought hated the sport and wanted nothing to do with it to know specifics only fighters themselves and trainers knew, told him there was more to the story than he had anticipated. He knew of course Rainey was holding back, but he was surprised to find out she was holding back her intimate familiarity with boxing.
Then throughout the little self-defense session with Jesse, she had given it away again and again, though he knew she thought she’d been keeping herself in check. It had been little things: her eye movements, the way she held her body, the way her body wanted to react to an approaching opponent. She’d locked it down every time, but Logan had seen the little twitches, the conditioned reactions that become habitual for trained fighters. He had been sure then she hadn’t just had a few hours of fight training. He just hadn’t been sure what kind of fighting exactly it was she had been trained in. That’s why he had switched with Jesse and had wanted to see what she’d do when he pinned her down on the ground. There were a lot of martial arts where ground training was essential: MMA, Judo, Taekwondo, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, the list was long. Boxing was all about stand-up fighting and the punching distance. He had wanted to see how she would do on the ground so he could figure out what she was hiding. And it had become pretty fucking clear she didn’t know much about grappling. Which told him she was most certainly trained in boxing to some level, something he hadn’t expected when he’d picked her up this morning.
His little firecracker was full of surprises.
He shook his head, smiling to himself but staying quiet as he pulled into her street. Fuck, but he couldn’t believe it. He knew he had been pushing her past her comfort zone. He’d made himself more than clear that morning, had laid it out for her what she should expect from him, but he knew it hadn’t sunk in yet and would take a while for her to get used to. He had made up his mind: no more waiting, no more hesitating, he was going on the offense. So he had teased her, had touched her whenever he could, more than he had needed to show her the moves, and had been delighted to see her reaction. Again, she’d done a good job of trying to hide it and hadn’t he been looking closely, he might have missed the light flush to her cheeks whenever his hand touched her hot skin, the goose bumps that crawled up her arms when he brushed by her, the sigh that escaped when he murmured directions close to her ear. But he had been paying close attention, so he knew he was getting to her. He had to call on his iron control when he’d been above her, pinning her. His mind had started to run away from him, showing him images of her naked and under him, his hands and mouth caressing and worshipping every inch of her body. His dick had strained against his boxers and he’d had to take a few deep breaths to keep himself in check and not ravish her right then and there when her sweet ass had moved against him as she’d tried to get out of his hold.
Even now just thinking about it directed all his blood between his legs. She’d been on edge when he had released her; he could feel it. He had expected her to throw her attitude around and lose her shit on him, something else that made him hard even thinking about, but she’d surprised him yet again when she’d zoomed in on the heavy bags and had gotten to work.
Logan licked his lips as he glanced at Rainey. She was looking out her side window, lost in her head, probably trying to figure out how to get rid of him and pretend the last thirty minutes didn’t happen.
Oh n
o, little firecracker. That’s not gonna happen.
He parked the truck and followed her to her front door, then through it. Now they were standing in her living room, staring at each other. He was flexing his hands like she had done in the gym, clenching and unclenching them in an effort to keep them to himself. It was hard. He needed to touch her. Everywhere. Needed to explore every gorgeous inch of her body. And he knew he wouldn’t have to push very hard to get what he wanted. But he also knew she would regret it and use it to push him away. And that wouldn’t do. He wanted their first time to be something she wanted more of, not something she regretted. Further more, they were under a time constraint. She had to be at work and he was expected back at the gym. He didn’t have enough time to worship her and show her how good they would be together.
So he had to wait.
He looked down at the floor and took a deep breath.
“I’ve got to—“ She clamped her mouth shut when his head whipped up and she met his eyes. He knew they were hot; he could almost feel them burn in their sockets.
“I knew you were full of surprises, but this, gorgeous, this is one I never expected in my wildest dreams.” His voice was low and vibrating. She took a step back, almost as if scared of what he might do next. His eyes snapped down to her feet then back at her face. He scowled at her.
Oh fuck no.
“Oh no, baby. You’re not scared of me.” He said this while he advanced on her. She stood her ground, proving him right.
“Logan, I don’t have time to do this right now. I have a meeting with Ashley I cannot miss.” There was pleading in her voice, and at the mention of Ashley’s name, Logan’s face lost some of its tenseness and softened. He stopped a foot away from her and cupped her face in both hands, gently but firmly, making it clear there was no chance in hell he would let her get away. They didn’t have enough time to get into it now, but he would at least make sure she knew he wasn’t going to let this go.
She was going to talk, if she wanted to or not.
“I don’t either, not right now. But we will talk about this, Rainey. You will tell me, in detail, what the reason is for hang-ups about dating fighters. After what I’ve seen you do today, I know you’re not scared of us. I know you can hold your own. Hell, you can do more than that. You can probably give me a run for my money if you put your mind to it. I know you’ve got professional training. I also know it’s been a while. More than a year or two. My guess would be less than five though. You move like you’re born to box, but you’re rusty.” He watched as her eyes went wide and panic seeped in. He leaned closer, brushing her lips softly with his, then pulled back an inch. “Don’t, baby. I know you don’t believe me yet, but you can trust me. Whatever you tell me will be safe with me. I won’t judge and I won’t change my mind about you.”
Her eyes changed to something he couldn’t interpret. He forged on. “I gotta get back, but I need you to answer one question. Then tonight, I’ll bring dinner and we’ll talk.”
“What?” she whispered, unsure.
“I know you’re from Boston. I’ve also been boxing for a while, so I know people in this city who box.” She swallowed. “Who trained you?” Her eyes went even bigger as she tried to pull away from him. He didn’t let her and moved his body in so they were full-frontal, touching from their stomachs down. She gave up the fight and sighed, resigned.
“Who?”
“My father,” she whispered and closed her eyes as if in pain.
His head jerked in surprise.
“Your father was a professional boxer?” She nodded but kept her eyes closed. Logan racked his brain, trying to remember a boxer from Boston with the last name Miller. He came up blank.
“Where is he now?” He definitely wasn’t in the picture. Her mom had a boyfriend. They seemed solid in a way that told him they’d been together for a good long while. He was part of the family. Even from their brief encounter that morning, Logan could tell Rainey treated Ben like a father figure, and Ben thought of Rainey as his daughter.
Rainey shook her head. Her eyes were still closed, but now she was also scrunching up her face and renewed her effort to pull away from him.
Jesus Christ.
Then it came to him and he froze. Shit. Her father had died. Because of boxing. He had been injured and had died. That would explain why Rainey was scared of getting involved with someone like him. Because what he did was dangerous. Because he could get hurt badly enough that she could lose someone she loved. So to protect herself, she didn’t let herself get close.
He shook his head.
No, that wasn’t it. Musicians didn’t get hurt like that. Neither did actors. Anyone who strives to make it big, be famous, and become rich. Anyone who is ruthless enough to do anything to reach that goal and throw a tantrum when things don’t go their way. Her words played through his mind as he tried to make sense of it all.
Then he did.
She was afraid of losing someone she loved. That held true. He was sure of it. But the reason behind it wasn’t the danger of injury or possible death. Her father wasn’t dead. Or if he was, he didn’t die because of boxing. But he wasn’t in their lives, had been out of the picture for a long time. It had to do with him choosing his fame and fortune over his family, or something similar to that scenario.
Shit.
If he was right, it was no wonder Rainey had trust issues. He knew what it felt like to be abandoned by your father.
“Rainey.” She had stopped trying to pull away from him while his mind had wandered. Her hands were now holding on to his wrists as she was staring at him, waiting. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she hadn’t let them fall. It broke his heart to see her like this.
“He left, didn’t he?”
She said nothing, just quietly stared at him through her tear-filled eyes.
Fuck.
He moved in as closely as he could until their noses were touching and their lips were less than a breath apart. “I won’t leave you.”
She shook her head. “You don’t know that.”
“I do. I won’t choose my fame over you if it ever comes to that. Which it won’t. It’s not even a consideration.”
She kept shaking her head.
“Rainey, listen to me. If you let me in, if you trust yourself to me, I will do anything I can to make sure you’ll never regret it. I promise you. Your father was an idiot, a loser, the lowest of the low for leaving you and your mom. He threw away the best thing a man can wish for, the only thing a man should fight for until his last breath: his family’s love. I’m not that stupid.”
“You don’t even know me. How can you say—”
“I know you, Rainey. I might not know everything about you, but I know who you are. I see you. You can’t hide from me. It’s too late. I’ve seen her. I knew she was there the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“Who?”
“The beautiful girl inside you. The one you’re trying so hard to keep locked up. She’s passionate, caring, loving, loyal, and feisty. Stubborn too.” He said the last on a small smile then brushed his lips against hers. To his surprise, she asked for more and pressed her lips to his. Logan didn’t hesitate and snaked his arms around her, pulling her in as tightly as he could while he took her mouth. All too soon he pulled back, then pecked her softly once, twice, before he leaned back to look at her.
“I gotta go,” he said with regret in his voice.
“Me too,” she whispered, a little dazed. Logan grinned. She scowled at him. He chuckled then kissed her once more.
“I’ll be here around seven with dinner. Then we’ll talk. After that, I’m spending the night.”
“I can’t.”
“Rainey—”
“I mean I’m not sleeping here tonight.” He narrowed his eyes at her. Where the hell was she planning on sleeping? “I took a night shift. I’ll be at the shelter until seven tomorrow morning.”
Well, damn. There went his plans for the night.
“I’ll com
e to the shelter.”
“Logan, I already got in trouble for you kissing me in front of the kids. I don’t want you to—”
He kissed her lips to shut her up. “I’ll bring dinner for you and the kids. Pizza. Then we can sit down and watch a movie or something. Then I’ll go home and pick you up in the morning when you’re done.”
“I’m not sure.”
He smiled. “Rainey. I’m not gonna do anything in front of the kids. I already promised you that. But I want to spend time with you. Doesn’t matter where. Doesn’t matter how. As long as I get to be near you.”
She sighed. “You’re too much. I don’t know what to do with you.” Oh, he had a few ideas. He communicated these with a sexy smirk. She slapped his chest, making him laugh. He liked this Rainey. She was playful and soft and unbelievably sexy. Even though she was still hesitant and unsure, she had let him in not just a little bit. She had opened the door wide enough for him to come all the way in, if she realized it or not. And he planned on staying there. No matter how many times or how hard she was going to try to push him out, he wouldn’t let her.
Yes, he liked this Rainey.
Just as much as he liked the feisty Rainey, the tough Rainey, and the passionate Rainey.
The more he found out about her, the more there was to like.
And this knowledge solidified it for him, made him absolutely certain down to his core. Nothing and nobody would ever change that.
She was his.
His one.
Chapter 10
Rainey
I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK in the corner of my computer screen. I’d made it to the shelter with only minutes to spare. After Logan had completely steamrolled me yet again, it had taken me longer than usual to get myself organized for my double shift. I had run through my second quick shower of the day and had packed my overnight bag willy nilly, still too flustered from the morning’s events to formulate a clear thought or a plan of action until I had given up on that unsuccessful endeavour and pushed it all aside.