by Julia Goda
Now, I was in my bed, in what felt like panties and a t-shirt, spooned by another body, which could only be Logan’s.
I tried to scoot out from under the arm that was holding me, but was thwarted when that arm tightened and pulled me in closer. Then I felt Logan’s hot breath on my neck as he snuggled in deeper and murmured, “You awake?”
“Uhm…”
I felt his body chuckle against mine.
Which felt nice.
As did his lips when they touched the skin behind my ear.
I lost his heat when he moved back, then felt his hand pushing against my stomach, rolling me onto my back. His heat came back when he settled half against my side, half on top of me.
“Good morning, sunshine.”
“Morning.”
His eyes were roaming my face before they came back to mine, amused.
I tried to think, which was a hard feat this early in the morning with no coffee in my system.
“How—” My question got cut off when Logan’s lips touched mine and his tongue went searching, softly first, gently, then harder and more demanding. I could do nothing but give him what he wanted.
So I kissed him back just as fiercely and whimpered, just a little.
I felt his answering groan and snaked my arms around his neck when he moved his body fully on top of mine until he was covering me from chest to knees. His hands were in my hair, holding me, keeping my head in position, as his weight hit me.
God, he felt good.
Our tongues were tangling, exploring, teasing.
I opened my legs and he fell through.
I could feel he was ready as he ground himself against my heat, causing me to whimper again. I tore my mouth from his when his hands started wandering down my neck and over my shoulders, down my arms, then back up again on my sides, taking my shirt with them. My hands were exploring his naked back under his shirt when he stopped just under my breasts, slightly touching the underside with his thumbs.
It felt sexy.
I wanted more of it.
“Logan,” I whispered, needy, when he didn’t continue.
“God, Rainey, you’re so beautiful.” He kissed me again, deeper this time, as he pushed against me. But his hands stayed where they were.
“I want this with you.”
“Okay,” I breathed, expecting my consent to get him back to moving his hands. When he didn’t, I opened my eyes and caught his looking down at me with intensity.
“I want this with you, Rainey, more than you can imagine. But I want you to realize what this means.”
Still deep in a sexual, needy fog, I wasn’t quite sure what he was saying. He touched his lips to mine and kept them there while he held my eyes. “Once we do this, that’s it.”
My head shot back, pushing against the pillow. Then I froze.
What?
“You bastard,” I whispered, shocked and humiliated. God, I was such an idiot. Of course that’s all he wanted. He had bested the challenge and could walk away the winner, his record intact. I shook my head in disgust as I started to push against his chest, needing him to get off of me.
“Rainey.” His voice was firm and reprimanding. “Look at me.” He resisted my push and dropped more of his weight on top of me, waylaying any chance for me to get up.
My eyes moved from looking over his shoulder to meet his.
They were a little amused and a lot frustrated.
“Clearly, you mistook what I just said.”
“I think you’ve made yourself pretty damn clear. Now, get off.” I pushed harder.
“No. Stop and listen to me.” When I didn’t let up, he grabbed my wrists and pushed them up above my head and against the mattress, causing more of his weight to settle on me.
“You bast—” His lips crushed mine, interrupting my name-calling. The kiss was intense but short.
“What I meant was, once we do this, that’s it for us, as in no pushing me away, no going back, no shutting down, no running away scared. You’re mine and I’m yours.”
I froze again, shocked for a different reason this time.
He couldn’t be serious.
“What?” I whispered.
“Rainey. I’ve made myself pretty fucking clear more than once. I’m into you. Way into you. Not just for a quick lay. I want you. All of you. So before we do this, I want you to know I’m not gonna back down and I’m not gonna go away. Once I take you, I take you.”
“Are you joking me?”
He narrowed his eyes on me. “Not even a little bit.”
I studied him. “You’re telling me if I don’t agree to be yours, as in completely yours, we’re not going to have sex?”
“No, I’m saying that when I slide inside you in about two minutes, you will be mine. Utterly and completely.”
My eyes went wide and my mouth gaped open.
“You are unbelievable.”
“Don’t try to fool yourself or me, Rainey. We both know you gave in last night when I held you in my arms at the hospital. When you went sweet and soft and thanked me while you held me right back. You let me in. And I have no intention of leaving or letting you push me out.”
Jesus Christ, but he was blunt.
“You’re the most straight forward person I have ever met. And that’s saying something, coming from me.”
His lips twitched infinitesimally before he rested them against mine once more. “Just making sure you get me.”
“Oh, I get you, all right. And you’re absolutely insane. I’m my own person. I don’t belong to anyone but me.”
“I see I’m not being clear enough,” he said on a sigh then rolled us until we were facing each other on our sides, his arms around me keeping me close against his chest.
“When I say you’re mine, I don’t mean you can’t be your own person. I love that you say what you think and do what you love. And I love that you don’t let people steamroll you. You stand your ground and fight for what you believe in with a passion I admire. And all of that comes from your heart. I want in that heart, Rainey, and I want to stay there. Like you are in mine.”
My eyes went big. I stopped breathing, while my heart went into overdrive.
He kissed me softly, a barely-there touch of his lips against mine, watching me as his words sunk in.
“You hardly know me,” I whispered in shock.
“I know you, Rainey. I’ve taken it slow and given you time. Now, your time has run out.”
“Two days is hardly taking it slow.”
He smiled. “More like a month.”
My eyes went wide again. “You only met me a month ago.” He held my eyes, unwavering, but stayed silent.
“That’s impossible.”
“You not believing it doesn’t make it any less true.”
“You’re telling me you fell in love with me on first sight?”
He shook his head. “I was fascinated with you on first sight. The falling in love part happened a little more every day. It’s still happening.”
“That’s not possible.” Things like that didn’t happen in real life. No way, no how.
He tightened his grip around me and pulled me flush against his body until we were nose-to-nose.
“It happened. It’s done. I know I’m ahead of you, but you can’t deny feeling something for me. You like me. And you want me.”
No, I couldn’t deny that.
Not after the last twenty-four hours.
Even before that, if I was honest with myself.
I had consciously felt it the first time he’d kissed me in the common room a few days ago. And every time he’d touched me after that. I had just been too stubborn and scared to let it penetrate. His touch did something to me, something I couldn’t explain, something I had never felt before.
I closed my eyes on a sigh and buried my face in his neck, not brave enough to look at him when I said, “No, I can’t deny it.”
“Good, baby.”
“I don’t know…I can’t…”
“You don’t need to. I told you. I’m in, and I have no intention of going anywhere. That’s what I meant when I said you’re mine. You’re with me and I’m with you. Exclusively.”
“I can do exclusive.”
“That’s good, since you don’t have a choice, baby.” There was humor in his voice, even though his statement was firm.
He rolled us once more so I was on the bottom and he was on top of me again. “Now, can we pick up where we left off?” He peppered my face with soft kisses, starting at my eyelids, then moving to my nose and down to my chin, where he nibbled slightly before he ran his tongue down my neck to my collarbone, stopping at the edge of my shirt.
“Okay,” I whispered as his hands started in on the action and brushed whisper-soft hands down my sides to the edge of my panties, where his fingers stopped and drew slow circles.
Good god.
“We’re clear?”
“We’re clear.”
“Thank god.” Then his hands went up and he yanked off my shirt before his mouth crushed down on mine and he took me in a passionate kiss.
From that moment on, we were all hands and mouths and tongues as we explored each other, took each other.
I couldn’t get enough of his naked skin, needed to touch him everywhere, needed to feel it connected to mine. I grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head. When he settled back down, I realized my bra was in the way, so I arched my back and twisted my arms to get at the hooks on my back. As soon as it was off and I felt his hot, smooth skin against me, against my breasts, I moaned and arched against him, wanting, needing more. He gave it when his arms came around me and he pulled me up against him as far as I would go while he took my mouth again with a deep, masculine groan.
I could feel him hard and hot against me as I tilted my pelvis and ground myself against him and moaned.
He tore his mouth from mine. “Jesus, baby.”
“Logan,” I whispered, too lost in the sexual fog to form a full sentence.
His mouth went to my nipples, teasing, licking, and nibbling before he started sucking hard. I closed my eyes and moaned again, louder this time, completely lost in the sensation of his mouth on me, his body on top of mine, his arm around me. I felt him everywhere, yet it wasn’t enough.
“Yes,” I breathed when his hand slid down to my panties, then inside. He found my clit and pressed in, slowly circling, spreading my wetness.
“So fucking beautiful.”
Heat burst through me when he slid one finger in while he kept at my clit with his thumb. I threw my head back against the pillow and started writhing.
God, that feels good.
“Show me, baby. I wanna see.” I wasn’t sure what he meant, but it didn’t matter. I wasn’t in a position to answer or do anything when it hit me and all I could do was let it happen. Heat rushed over me while goose bumps covered my whole body. I arched into him, my eyes closed, my hands gripping his shoulders as I came.
When I came back from my high, I felt kisses showering my face.
“That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” I smiled against his mouth, but was still too far gone to open my eyes. His mouth wandered down, across my chest, over my belly, down to the edge of my panties. Then he placed a kiss on me over the fabric before he pulled them down and slid them off.
I opened my eyes and looked down at him. His eyes were hot on me when he kissed me again, this time with nothing in the way. I stopped breathing when I watched his tongue come out, then panted when he used his fingers to spread me open and his tongue flicked my clit. His eyes closed on what I could only describe as a savouring grunt as he tasted me. He took his time doing that, working me up again while I could do nothing but take it and watch him in fascination and desire. Then he licked his way up my stomach again until his face was over mine as he was pushing against me while he held my eyes.
“Ready?”
I nodded.
The next second, he was inside me, filling me. Our combined groans filled the air. He didn’t start moving right away, but instead stared down at me in wonder.
“You’re mine.”
I didn’t say anything as I held his stare, couldn’t say anything. Something was happening to me, something I couldn’t identify. It was like Logan wasn’t only taking my body; he was taking so much more than that. My mind filled with him as my heart opened itself and he poured inside, filling it, claiming it as his. I tried to hold back, to stop it, but there was nothing I could do but let it happen while his eyes bore into me, into my soul.
“And I’m yours.” I closed my eyes then, needing that space, needing to keep a little part of me to myself.
This was crazy.
Absolutely insane.
And happening way too fast.
I wasn’t like that. I didn’t give my heart away to anyone. Heck, I trusted less than a handful of people enough to know about my secrets and fears, and two of them were my family. For years, I had protected myself, had closed myself off to the chance of getting hurt, of getting left behind, of not being important enough to be kept. Now, here I was, filled by a man whom I had never expected to get close to, whom I had written off as a arrogant bastard, who scared the shit out of me.
Yes, here I was, completely taken to a degree I didn’t even know was possible, had never imagined to let happen.
But I was helpless against it.
Utterly helpless.
A tear slid down my cheek. Then a soft thumb brushed it away.
“Open your eyes, sweetheart,” Logan whispered gently.
I did and watched his face through a veil of tears.
“You feel it, don’t you?” He held my cheek and kept brushing his thumb back on forth over my cheekbone ever so gently. I didn’t answer. I didn’t need to. He could see it.
“Don’t be scared. I’ve got you.”
What was I supposed to do now? I knew it was done, could feel it, couldn’t deny it.
Shit.
I shook my head, not in denial, but because I had no clue what to do or say. “I…You…I don’t know…”
“Baby, what did I say?”
I kept shaking my head.
“I’ve got you.” It was a promise, a vow. He was certain. I wasn’t sure I could ever match that certainty.
“Trust me.”
“I don’t know how.” That was as honest as I could be. I didn’t know how to trust. Not enough to hold nothing back.
“I’ll show you.”
Then he started moving. Neither of us closed our eyes as he moved in and out of me slowly, gently, lovingly. Our mouths were touching, but we weren’t kissing. It was intimate, the most intimate I had ever been with anyone. My breathing turned into panting when he picked up the speed and started thrusting into me. I gave back as good as I got and moved with him, my hands gripping his butt cheeks, pulling him closer into me. There was no space between us. We were touching everywhere, holding each other as tightly as we could as we moved in sync. When it hit me, his eyes went dark and he started bucking, chasing his own release, then finding it and groaning into my mouth before I was finished.
Our breathing was harsh and fast, but we didn’t let go, held on to each other while we came down.
“I’ve got you,” he repeated his promise, then he kissed me slow and deep while we were still connected.
Logan
They were sitting at a booth in the far corner of the Pancake House. The waitress had just dropped off their coffees and taken their orders.
Logan watched as Rainey took her first sip and closed her eyes in contentment. He smiled to himself. This would never get old; he was looking forward to a lifetime of watching his woman enjoying the simple things in life. Just as much as he was looking forward to giving them to her.
His mind went back to watching her as he made her come for the first time. He had wanted to show her he would always take care of her, would always put her first, and had been captivated by the sight of her le
tting go.
He hadn’t been lying. She really was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.
And the feel of her.
Jesus, he could still feel her heat around him.
That was another thing he knew he would never get enough of: worshipping Rainey’s body while being connected with her in the most intimate way.
He wasn’t a choirboy, nor was he a player, but he’d had a good amount of experience. Never, not once, had anything come close to what he had been feeling when he slid inside Rainey. It had taken his breath away, tilted his world on its axis. He had known they’d be dynamite together, but not even in his wildest dreams had he imagined anything like what he had experienced with her this morning.
He said he was taking her, claiming her, that she belonged to him and he belonged to her. But he hadn’t anticipated how completely he had been taken by the feeling of her, the feeling of belonging to her. He knew it would take her a while to get used to the idea of trusting him, of being a part of the unit they were building now, but he was certain he would get her there. There was no doubt in his mind that the two of them together made sense, that together they could conquer whatever life threw their way. And he knew that deep down Rainey knew this too. He had watched it happen, had watched it wash over her face and settle in her eyes when she felt it, felt him inside of her, in more ways than the obvious one. He could see her trying to fight it off, and could see when she couldn’t, when she realized she had already let him in more than she had thought. She didn’t understand it, didn’t trust it yet, but he would do anything in his power to keep his promise and show her she had nothing to fear from him.
That he had her back and always would.
Logan smiled.
His first chance at proving that to her had come faster than he could have anticipated.
About five minutes after they both came.
Once he had stopped kissing her, had left her body and rolled off of her, he had felt her still next to him.
“Um…Logan?” He could hear confusion and anxiety in her voice, making him come alert instantly.
“What is it?”
“Please tell me you used a condom.”
He hadn’t. It hadn’t even crossed his mind. A first for him.
His eyes roamed her face. Anxiety, no, panic was written all over her. She wasn’t on birth control. He clenched his teeth, pissed at himself for putting her in that position.