by Julia Goda
“I didn’t. I’m sorry, Rainey.”
She had jumped off the bed in a flash, cursing. “Shit, shit, shit. Shit, Logan!”
“Baby—”
“No. This isn’t good. I’m not on the pill. I don’t usually do this kind of thing. Not until—” He was glad to hear she wasn’t the kind of girl who needed to be on the pill in case she ended up in bed with someone—though he had already known that—but he didn’t need to hear about her being sexually active with whomever came before him.
So he reached for her, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her back on top of him.
“Calm down.”
“Calm down? Logan, I can’t be calm about this. What if I’m pregnant? We…I don’t even…Argh! What are we going to do?”
“We’ll deal with it if we have to.”
“Deal with it…Logan! This is a disaster! If this…If I’m…I can’t…”
Logan lips twitched as he watched her try to formulate a full sentence. She hit his chest when she saw his grin. “This is not fucking funny!”
“No, it isn’t. It’s also not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal? Are you crazy?”
“Baby, what are the chances I actually got you pregnant?”
She glared at him. “I don’t know.”
“When was your last period?”
“I’m not telling you that.”
He scowled at her. “Why not?”
“Why not? Maybe because it’s none of your business.”
“Did I just have my dick inside you and make you come?”
Her glare intensified. “That doesn’t mean—”
“Oh yeah, it does.”
“You ask all the women you have sex with about their periods?”
“No. The woman I have unprotected sex with, the woman I claimed as mine, yeah. I do. Absolutely.”
Her glare didn’t waver. She also didn’t answer.
So he prompted her. “When?”
The irritation left her eyes and the panic seeped back it when she whispered, “Three weeks ago.”
Well, damn.
“Shit,” she whispered under her breath and dropped her head.
Logan kissed the top of her head. “It’ll be okay. Like I said, we’ll deal with it if we have to.” She said nothing. “Rainey. I told you I’ve got you and I meant it. I’m not gonna turn my back on you if you’re pregnant with my baby. I’m not ever turning my back on you.”
“You don’t know that,” she said in a small voice. She still wasn’t looking at him.
He tightened his arms around her, squeezing her.
“Hey,” he called softly. She lifted her head and looked at him. She was terrified. He lifted his hand and held her hair up on one side of her face. Then he smiled. He couldn’t help himself. The thought of Rainey carrying his child made him happy. It didn’t matter they were new, had just started. He knew what he wanted. And what he wanted was her. If she happened to be pregnant, it only meant she would have to accept being connected to him all the sooner. His smile turned into a grin, a smirk almost.
She shook her head. “This is too fast, Logan. I don’t even know how to deal with you. If I’m pregnant—”
He touched his mouth to hers. “We’ll deal with it.”
Then he felt her body freeze again and watched as her eyes went wide. “You’re clean, right?”
He chuckled and kissed her. “Yes, I’m clean. Contrary to your opinion of me, I don’t sleep around.”
She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. He chuckled again. “I wasn’t a virgin before you, but I’m not a player. I have to get checked regularly for boxing, and I haven’t been with anyone since my last check-up two months ago.”
“Really.”
“Really.”
She was quiet for a few moments as she studied me. “Okay. I believe you.”
I rewarded her with a kiss. “Good. Now, let’s shower and get some breakfast. You need coffee.”
They’d dealt with a lot of heavy stuff that early in the morning, so Logan hadn’t hesitated to make sure she got her fix before she completely lost it. His plan had been to have a talk this morning, but he’d shocked and pushed her enough for one day. He’d have to wait to find out about her dad and the reason behind that sadness that never left the back of her eyes.
His little firecracker.
He smiled again as he realized how far they’d come in the past twenty-four hours.
“What’s funny?” she asked.
“Nothing. What’s your day look like?”
She thought for a moment. “It’s Saturday, so I’m off today, but I promised Ashley I’d pick her up this morning. I’ll take her to the shelter, then we’ll sit down and talk to Taryn. Ashley promised she’d talk to me, tell me what’s going on with her and what happened yesterday, so I guess I’ll be at the shelter for at least half a day. Then I have to check in with my mom and see how she’s doing. And I have to run.” Her voice had turned sad for a moment when she mentioned checking in on her mom, and he wondered what that was about, but he would let it go for now. There was only so far she would let him push. “What about you?”
He smiled, pleased she wanted to know about his plans for the day. “I’ve got to head to the gym after this. Pete’s gonna ream my ass if I’m late again. Not to mention Jay. He’s already been on my case for losing my head over you.”
She frowned. “Jay?”
“My other trainer. He’s an even bigger pain in my ass than Pete.”
“I bet.”
“You wanna come by later? Train at the gym instead of going for a run?”
“I don’t know,” she murmured and took another sip of her coffee, her hand cupping the mug even after she set it back on the table. Like she needed something to hold on to.
“Would you change your mind if I promise not to push you for information today?”
“Maybe.” She stared at her coffee. “Before yesterday, I hadn’t been to a boxing gym in years. It’s just…I’m not sure I’m ready…”
He reached across the table and took one of her hands in his. “It’s okay, Rainey. Stop by if you feel like. It would give me a chance to introduce you to the trainers who are going to volunteer, since I failed to do that yesterday, but there’s no rush. I’ll see you tonight if you’d rather go for a run.”
“Tonight?”
“Yeah. I’m taking you out on a date.”
“Are you now?”
Logan smirked. “Yeah.”
“Did it occur to you to maybe ask me if I want to go on a date with you?”
His smirk turned into a wide grin. “No.”
Her lips twitched. “You’re a cocky bastard.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You sayin’ you don’t want me to take you on a date?”
She sighed, annoyed. “I want to say ‘Yes, that’s what I’m saying’ but you wouldn’t believe me anyway.”
“Because I know it wouldn’t be true.”
She shook her head and narrowed her eyes on him. “You’re unbelievable. What if I have plans already?”
“You would have mentioned them when you told me about your day.”
“Ugh!”
Logan laughed silently, his shoulders shaking.
Then he suggested, “How about this: I’ll come by your house tonight and cook you dinner. You can ask your mom and Ben to join us.”
“I don’t think I’m ready for that, Logan.”
He frowned. “Me cooking you dinner or your mom and Ben joining us?”
“My mom and Ben joining us.”
His face smoothed out as he smiled again. “All right. You and me. Dinner at your house. I’ll be there at six.”
“All right,” she sighed on a shake of her head, seemingly resigned.
That’s right, baby. It’s sinking in. I’m not gonna let you push me away.
Chapter 13
Rainey
“I THOUGHT AFTER OVER TWO decades in the field I’d heard it all.”
I wa
s staring out the window in Taryn’s office, trying to forget the images attacking my mind, knowing I would never forget the picture Ashley had painted when she told me about her terrible ordeal. I was sick to my stomach and my heart was broken for this beautiful girl. But I was also proud as hell of her for surviving, for escaping the hell she’d found herself in the day her mother died.
“Shit, I need a drink.”
I turned my head away from the window and looked at Taryn.
“I need to call Bobby. She’ll take on the case.”
She nodded. “I figure she will. I hope she buries him; buries him so deep he’ll never see the light of day again.”
I could only nod in complete agreement. “She will. She’s the best. And once she gets her teeth into this one, there’ll be no stopping her.”
I wasn’t kidding.
Bobby was the best at what she did.
She would rip that bastard apart piece by piece and enjoy every second of it.
“Call her. Tell her we’ll meet first thing Monday morning. By then, we’ll have a clearer idea of how to proceed.”
I nodded again.
“Where is she gonna stay for now? Here at the shelter?”
Taryn massaged her temples. “I’m not sure. I want her to feel safe. I don’t think it’s a good idea to send her somewhere she doesn’t know anyone. She just started to trust us. I don’t want to betray that trust by sending her away. But you know how my hands are tied. I have to follow protocol.”
“I know,” I agreed as I shook my head in frustration. I felt responsible for Ashley, had to do my best to protect her.
“Let me make some calls, see if I can find an emergency foster home that will take her tonight.”
A knock sounded at the door and Jesse stuck his head in when the door opened.
Here was another kid I was proud as hell of. He’d been supportive and gentle yet pushy enough for Ashley to know she could rely on him. I swear to god, no seventeen-year-old male teenager should be able to be so empathetic and intuitive, yet firm enough to make a broken girl like Ashley trust him. Then again, Jesse had been through hell himself and had done everything in his power to protect his sister from that same hell. I shouldn’t be surprised at how he was handling Ashley.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, Jesse. Come on in.”
He took a seat beside me across from Taryn.
“What’s on your mind?” Taryn asked.
“I know how this works. You’re trying to figure out what to do, where to send Ashley.”
Taryn’s eyes came to me then went back to Jesse. “Yes, we’re working on finding the safest and best possible place for Ashley to stay.”
“Can I make a suggestion?”
“Go ahead.”
“I want her to stay with us. I’ve already talked to Lucy. We’ve got a room since Lucas started college last month.”
I raised her eyebrows at him. “I was under the impression Lucy didn’t want to take on any new cases. She wants to retire from fostering.” I had just talked to Lucy less than a month ago, knowing Lucas had gone off to college.
“I know. But when I explained to her about Ashley, she said she’d get the room ready.”
I frowned at him. “When did you talk to her?”
“Half an hour ago. When I saw the look on your face after you talked to Ashley.”
I studied him.
“I don’t know what exactly happened, but you both know I’ve been there. I know the look. And I know what it feels like.” Jesse’s face was serious, as was his whole posture.
Serious and determined.
I nodded.
He was right.
Once you encountered the monsters, you recognized the signs, no matter how hard you tried to move past them.
I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m extremely proud of you, do you know that?”
He gave me a chin lift then moved his eyes to Taryn, waiting for her verdict.
“If Lucy wants her, I don’t see any reason why Ashley shouldn’t stay with her. I’ll make the calls and drive her down myself.”
Jesse nodded, and I noticed his body relax. He’d been worried about this, about Ashley being sent somewhere he couldn’t get to easily. God, he was a good kid.
“Thank you.” He started to get up but stopped when Taryn said, “And Jesse, I can only agree with Rainey. I’m extremely proud of you. We all are. I know you’ll take good care of Ashley.”
Taryn received the same chin lift he had given me. I bit my lip so as not to flat out smile.
When the door closed behind him, I couldn’t hold back the smile any longer. “I love that kid.”
“He’s quite something, isn’t he?” Taryn agreed with me. “Lucy would have been my first choice for Ashley. She’s got experience with cases like this; soft and gentle enough to not scare her away, yet tough enough to not let her descend into a dark place.”
“Jesse just saved us a lot of worry. And I like that he’ll be living under the same roof as her. You should have seen him with her last night and this morning. The way he handles her is just…She trusts him. After weeks of watching her not even make eye contact with any males, it’s good to know she’s opening up to him. He’s a great friend to have.”
“Oh, he’ll be more than just her friend. That boy has set his eyes on her.”
I smiled. “Oh, I know. I’ve never seen a seventeen-year-old boy be that protective and possessive of a girl before. I think he’s channelling Cole.”
“Cole and someone else I know,” Taryn murmured. “Speaking of which, how is that coming along? I heard rumours flying Logan was here last night for movie and pizza.”
I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. Then I made the uncharacteristic decision to share. “I fell asleep in his truck on our way back from the hospital. He carried me to bed without me waking up and spent the night. Then this morning, he told me I was his and he was mine. We had sex, and I might be pregnant. Tonight, he’s coming over to cook me dinner. Oh, and he’s met my mom and Ben. They both love him.”
Taryn stared at me in shocked silence for a few moments. Then she burst out laughing. “Holy shit! All that happened in the last twenty-four hours? That man doesn’t let grass grow, does he?”
“Not even a little bit,” I said on a shake of my head.
“How do you feel about all of that?”
I shrugged. “Honestly, I’m not sure. He scares the snot out of me, but for whatever insane reason, he gets to me. It’s like he’s got me figured out, like he’s in my brain and knows just what to say to shut me down before I even start. I have no clue what to do with him.”
Taryn’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. “Oh, how the mighty are falling. First Lizzy, now you.”
I had no reply to that.
As if he knew we were talking about him, my phone rang and showed his name on the screen. I gave Taryn a look and said, “See? He’s psychic or something,” before I answered the call.
“Hey.”
“Hey. How did things with Ashley go?” He was doing it again. Just like he had done yesterday, he was checking in to see if I was okay, at the same time checking in to see how Ashley was doing, showing me yet another way of how he was getting to me.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “It was tough, real tough. Tougher than anything I’ve ever heard or had to deal with. She’s been through hell, and it’ll be a while before she’ll be all right. But the good news is she’s in a safe place now and we’ll make sure she stays that way.”
“That’s good, honey. How’s Jesse doing after last night? He hasn’t come down to the gym today.”
“He’s still here, won’t let Ashley out of his sight. His foster parent is the one who’s taking her in, actually, so I doubt he’ll show up at the gym at all today.”
“That’s good. He’ll take good care of her.”
“That’s exactly what Taryn and I said.”
<
br /> “He’s a good kid.”
“Yeah.”
I didn’t know what else to say. I’d never done anything like this before. Any other relationship I’d been in had been the opposite of committed and serious. I’d never let it get too personal and intimate before I looked for a way out.
I heard a low chuckle after a few more moments of silence.
Then he asked, “You like pasta?”
“Pasta?” What a random question.
“Yeah. Pasta. You know, spaghetti, penne, stuff like that.”
“Very funny. I know what pasta is.”
“So you like it?”
“I do. Why?”
“’Cause that’s what I’m cooking for us tonight.” Oh. Wow.
“I like pasta,” I couldn’t help but whisper in a soft voice, overwhelmed by the feelings he was causing by something so simple as telling me what he’d be cooking for us tonight. Something I’d never experienced in a relationship before either.
“Good. You have any white wine at home?”
I shook my head. “I have beer.”
Another low chuckle. “Normally, I’d prefer beer, too, but with this dish, white wine will taste better. I’ll bring a bottle.”
“Okay.” My voice was still soft.
“All right, baby. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Right.”
He hung up and I did the same.
Then I looked up at Taryn and said, “I’m in trouble.”
She burst out laughing yet again.
***
I was running late.
After I left Taryn to get started on the necessary phone calls to make the arrangements needed, I went to my office to call Bobby. That phone call turned into a conference call with Lizzy, which then turned into a strategy meeting that lasted for over an hour.
Of course, the last twenty minutes of that call were spent talking about the warp speed of the Logan development, which turned into me spilling my beans to Bobby about my father when she hadn’t stopped berating me about my—what she called—stupid dating rule.
“Rainey, we all have things in the past that have shaped us. We carry them around with us day in and day out, let them rule us, let them fuck up our lives. I get what your father did hurt you deeply, but don’t you think it’s time to let that go? Look at Lizzy; heck, look at Ashley, would you want her to mentally stay in the place she’s in right now, or do you want her to overcome that and be happy? Isn’t that what we are so passionate about? To help abused and neglected kids overcome their trials and tribulations and move past them? Give life a chance? Learn to trust and believe in themselves?”