The Girl Worth Fighting for (The Girl #2)

by Julia Goda

  She shrugged. “You’re usually ready to leave at this time. I thought I’d catch you real quick before your training.”

  Logan shook his head. “Mom. Seriously.”

  Rita rolled her eyes at her son. This was weird. I had no idea what to do with myself. I’d never met my boyfriend’s mother, especially not in my panties.

  “My son didn’t lie. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

  “I…uh…”

  “Go take your shower, baby.” Logan gave me a squeeze then pulled me off the counter. I was only too happy to have an excuse to leave the room. Hopefully by the time I was showered and dressed, Rita would be gone, and I could pretend this never happened.

  “Okay. It was nice meeting you, Rita.” I gave her an awkward wave before I fled through the bedroom to the bathroom, grabbing my bag on the way. I set it on the vanity counter and stared at myself in the mirror.

  Fantastic. I look exactly like I just crawled out of bed after a hot night of sex.

  I shook my head at myself as I tried to bring my hair into some sort of order—and failed miserably. I sighed and dropped my hands. I’d just have to wash it. The two closed doors between the bathroom and the kitchen didn’t block Logan and Rita’s voices, though I couldn’t make out what they were saying. Then I remembered what day it was. It was Monday, of course, but my brain was just now making the connection of the importance of the day. With everything that had been going on at work and with Logan in the last few days, it had completely slipped my mind that today was the day Mom would get her test results back. I frantically searched my bag for my phone only to realize it wasn’t in there. I checked the bedroom, even looked under the pillows and blanket, just in case, but came up empty.

  “Shit.” My eyes went to the door. It must be out there. I could still hear Rita’s voice, a little clearer now, but still not clear enough to make out her words. No way would I make another spectacle of myself and walk in there still not dressed. I checked the alarm clock on Logan’s bedside table. It was still early. The doctor probably hadn’t even called yet. And if he had, Ben or Mom would have called me right away. They knew how worried I was; they wouldn’t leave me hanging if they had any new information.

  I went back into the bathroom and started the shower while I undressed. The water felt amazing as soon as I stood under it. I took a deep breath and tried to let the hot spray relax my suddenly tense muscles and ease my mind, something I had never been real good at. But I tried nonetheless. My being upset and worried wouldn’t change the situation. Everything would be okay. We’d get the news and then deal with whatever we had to deal with head-on. It would be okay.

  Right.

  I took one of the fastest showers in the world, towel-dried my hair, pulled it up into a messy bun on the top of my head, and got dressed all in less than fifteen minutes.

  When I walked back into the kitchen, Rita was still there, now sitting at the table with a coffee in her hand and a huge smile on her face. My return smile felt a little hesitant. Logan was walking toward me with the phone to his ear.

  “Hold on, Sarah. She’s right here.” He held the phone out to me. “It’s your mom. I’m sorry I answered your phone, but it kept ringing, so I checked who it was, thinking it might be important. When I saw it was your mom, I answered.”

  Before he was completely done with his explanation, I snatched the phone out of his hand and held it to my ear.

  “Mom?” My voice was higher than usual, giving away my trepidation and fear of the news she was going to deliver.

  “Hey, baby,” her voice wasn’t filled with fear; it was soft and calming, as if she were trying to soothe me before I even knew why I needed to be soothed. Which told me exactly what I didn’t want to know, what I’d hoped I would never hear come out of my mom’s mouth.

  “Mom,” I whispered as I closed my eyes and dropped my chin to my chest in an effort to keep the tears at bay. My throat was closing fast, and I had to swallow a few times to get used to the lump lodged inside it. I could feel Logan move closer before I felt his arms come around my waist. I was grateful he was here, but I couldn’t acknowledge him, couldn’t make myself move or open my eyes, couldn’t say or do anything as I waited for her to tell me.

  “It’ll be okay, Rainey.” Mom’s voice was still soft, yet she sounded determined. My strong mother. Always keeping her chin up and hoping for the best. Always making sure Ben and I did the same. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t pretend this wasn’t breaking my heart.

  “Tell me,” I whispered brokenly as the first tear ran down my cheek. I let it fall. Logan didn’t. He brushed it away with his finger before he cupped my face and lifted it to his. I opened my eyes and saw his worried ones through the blur of tears focused on me. He held me like this while my mom told me, “I have to have surgery, baby. A full hysterectomy. The doctor already scheduled it.”

  “When?” The tears were falling freely now. It hurt to breathe. Everything hurt. I couldn’t lose her. I’d already lost my father; the thought of losing my mom was incomprehensible to me. She was all the family I had left.

  “Next week Thursday.”

  That’s when a sob escaped.

  “Rainey, listen to me.” My mom’s voice was loud in my ear, giving me no other choice but to do as she asked. “Are you listening?”

  I nodded and whispered through another sob, “I’m listening.”

  “I know this is hard, but we’ll make it through this. Do you hear me? I’m not going to die. I’m not ready, so I’ll do anything I can to fight this; for you, for Ben, for me. But I need you to do the same. I need you to fight with me. I need you to believe I can win.”

  She was right. My mom needed me to be strong, and here I was, falling apart at the news of her needing surgery. I squeezed my eyes one last time, pushing out the final tears, then I straightened my spine and lifted my chin. “I am. I do. We’ll win this.”

  “That’s my girl. Now, I would like you to bring Logan over for dinner tonight. We have something else we need to talk about. Do you think he’ll be free?”

  My mind was too preoccupied to try and figure out what else she would want to tell me, so I didn’t even try and instead, focused on her question. “I’ll ask him.”

  “Good. I just made you pizza, so you’ll have to make do with something else. What does he like?”

  I couldn’t clear my head enough to think about it. I also had no idea what food Logan liked, other than pasta and Mexican. “I don’t know.”

  “Well, ask him,” she prompted me. In typical mom fashion, she delivered the news, dealt with it, then she moved on as if nothing happened, living life as normal as possible. I had to go along with it, had to give her what she needed, even if I was dying inside. So I moved the phone away from my mouth while keeping it to my ear and asked Logan, “My mom wants to know what food you like. She is cooking us dinner tonight.”

  Logan studied me for a few moments before he answered me. “I’ll eat anything she makes.”

  “Tell him I need more information than that.” My lips turned up in a small smile at hearing my mother’s demand.

  “She needs more information than that.”

  Logan returned my smile. “Then tell her to go light since I’m in training. Chicken is good. Veggies. Salad. Good carbs.”

  I turned the phone back to my mouth. “You got that?”

  “Yes, I did. Having cooked for a boxer in training before comes in handy, I guess,” she murmured.

  I ignored that last part. She sounded like she was already planning the meal in her head. “When do you want us?”

  “Let’s say six?”

  “Okay.”

  “Rainey?” Mom called my name.

  “Yes, Mom?”

  “I love you, baby. I’ll be all right. I promise.”

  We both knew that was something she couldn’t promise. I swallowed, and it went down a little easier now, even though the knot hadn’t completely dissolved yet, as I knew it wouldn’t
for a long time. “I love you too, Mom.”

  “I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Tonight.”

  Then we both hung up.

  Logan slipped the phone out of my hand and put it on the kitchen counter. Then he took me by the hand and walked me to the coffee machine, where he poured a coffee then took both the cup and me to the kitchen table. He sat down, pulled me sideways into his lap just like he had when I had told him about my father, and handed me the coffee.

  “Talk to me.”

  I took a grateful sip of the hot and heavenly liquid. “My mom has cancer.”

  I heard his mother gasp behind me but kept my eyes on Logan’s. They were sad and understanding. He didn’t push for more information but instead waited for me to be ready to keep talking as he gently brushed his thumb where he rested his hand on my thigh.

  God, he was such a good guy.

  I took a deep breath and told him the whole story. “A few years ago, she had to undergo chemo. It took two rounds before she beat it. It was hard. I was scared to death, but she fought it. And she won. She’s been fine for years now. Then last week, Ben waited for me to come home from work. I knew something was wrong when I saw him sitting on my front porch. He told me they’d found something during her annual check-up and had sent her for more tests. It wasn’t looking good.”

  “The morning of the staff meeting, when Jesse and I pitched the idea of the self-defense classes for the girls. That sadness at the back of your eyes was because your mom is sick again.”

  I looked at him. Really looked at him. “You saw that?” I had been so careful and had tried my best to hide it.

  “Of course I did. I told you, I know you better than you think.” He kissed me softly on the lips. “I was gonna ask you about it, but the last few days have been kind of busy.” He smirked at me. I smiled at him.

  “Yeah.” He kissed me again, a little longer this time.

  “So, what’s the plan? Does she have to do chemo again?”

  I shook my head no but then stopped. Did she? After the surgery? “I’m not sure, but her doctor scheduled her surgery for next week.”

  “She has to have surgery?”

  I nodded. “A hysterectomy.”

  “Baby,” he whispered, his eyes full of understanding and support.

  “She’ll be okay.”

  His smirk came back. “She gave you a verbal ass-kicking, didn’t she?”

  “She did. I needed it. I’m good now.” At least that’s what I told myself.

  “Rainey.”

  “I’m good.”

  “You don’t have to be. Not with me. I know you’re strong, and I know you can put up a tough front, but you don’t have to with me. With me, you can be whatever and whoever you need to be.” Tears were forming in my eyes again, for a different reason this time. I loved this man, and he loved me, any way I came. I didn’t have to be strong all the time, didn’t have to pretend I was okay when I was breaking inside. I could let go, could cry when I was sad, could vent when I was mad; I could be who I was without the fear of not being good enough, of him leaving me. He had told me this numerous times, but his love for me finally sank in completely. As did the fact I needed him, and I wanted him. I wanted us.

  I didn’t say any of that. I didn’t need to. I was sure he could read the emotions in my eyes. “God, you’re such a good guy.”

  His blinding smile made me want to kiss him. So that’s what I did, completely forgetting his mom was still sitting at the table with us. Logan stopped the kiss before it got too far. When he saw my pout, he burst out laughing.

  “I would love to get more of that, but you’d kick my ass later for letting you give it to me in front of my mom.”

  I jerked in his lap. “Oh.” I turned around and saw Rita smiling at us, proud and happy. “Sorry.”

  She waved my apology away. “Don’t you dare feel bad. It’s nice to witness my son in love with an amazing woman. I’ve waited a long time to see it.”

  “Uh…thank you.”

  Logan’s body shook underneath me from his chuckle. I gave him a frown, to which his answer was a kiss on the tip of my nose.

  “Cute.”

  I ignored him and started to get up. “I have to get to work.”

  “You okay to drive?” Logan got up with me and rested his hands on my hips.

  “I’m okay to drive. And anyway, you’ve got to get to the gym.”

  “I’ll drive you if you need some time to—”

  I put my fingers on his lips to stop him. “Really, Logan. I’m okay.”

  He gave me a penetrating look before he nodded. “All right. Get your ass to work. See you at lunch?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Please do. Call me?”

  “I’ll call you.”

  “Not just about lunch. Call me if you need me.”

  My heart melted at his words, as did my body. I leaned into him and touched my lips to his, where I whispered, “I’ll call.” I gave him one last quick kiss before I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door after I said goodbye to Rita.

  Out in the car, I took a deep breath and tried to center myself. I couldn’t believe how much had happened in the past week. It was almost too much to wrap my head around it all. But right then and there I made the decision to not overanalyze anything. I had the tendency to get lost in my head, to find reasons why things wouldn’t work, even if I had to create them myself. Logan had proven that he wouldn’t let me do that anymore, that he wouldn’t let me get lost in my thoughts. It was almost as if he was in my head with me, taking my hand and leading me back to reality before I sank too deep. It sounded silly and mushy, so unlike me, but I was tired of fighting it. I was tired of being scared and angry all the time. My mom had been right. Lizzy and Bobby had been right. I needed to move on and let that shit go. If I didn’t, I would ruin the best thing that ever happened to me. And with my mom being so sick she needed surgery, I needed someone I could rely on, someone who wouldn’t let me drown, someone who supported me no matter what. I had only barely made it through last time. This time, I needed help.

  I needed Logan.

  So I promised myself I would hold on tight. I would fight for this relationship just like I would fight with my mom to beat the shit out of cancer.

  This wasn’t me pretending I was fine.

  This wasn’t me hiding behind a wall of anger.

  This was me finally letting go.

  This was me.

  Rainey Miller.

  Logan

  “I like her,” Logan’s mom stated as soon as Rainey closed the door behind her.

  “I told you, you would.”

  “And I like you with her. I’ve never seen you like this. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve always been good with any of your girlfriends, but this is different.”

  Logan took a sip from his coffee and looked at his mother over the rim of the cup. “I’ve never been in love before.”

  He watched as his mom’s eyes went wide and happiness mixed with pride and excitement spread across her face. “Have you told her?”

  Logan nodded, “I have.”

  “And?”

  “She didn’t say it back right away, but as of last night, I know my girl’s in love with me too.” He couldn’t hold back his huge grin. That grin turned into a deep chuckle when his mom jumped up from her chair and came to hug him.

  “I’m so happy for you, Logan.”

  “You and me both.”

  “Having to chase her did you some good. I’m glad you didn’t give up on her.”

  Logan had kept his mom in the loop about his many failed attempts to get Rainey to go out with him. They were close. Ever since his father had left and he had fallen off the rails, then found his way back with Pete’s help, they’d had a special bond, his mom and him. He cherished it, wouldn’t ever want to be without it. That’s why he could empathise with what Rainey must be going through right now. He couldn’t imagine his mom being sick like that, didn’t want
to think about losing her. Both Rainey and him had had only their mothers to rely on after their fathers had abandoned them. That formed a special bond, a bond he could now share with his woman, since she, too, would understand why he was so close to his mom and would never question or criticize it. Logan had Pete and Jay, while Rainey had Ben in her life. But nothing would ever erase the fact they were both unwanted by their fathers. That is a scar that will never heal. It might scab over and might fade over time, but it will never truly be gone. They both understood that and knew they had to live with it. While Logan had left that hurt behind and had started a life away from that pain and guilt, Rainey had held on to it, had let it influence her life negatively out of self-preservation. He understood that emotion behind it all too well and didn’t fault her for it. But he was happy to see that being with him made her open up her old wounds and look at them from a different perspective. From a guilt-free one. He had been ecstatic when she had opened up to him about her father without him having to ask, though he hadn’t been ecstatic to see her drown in self-doubt. He had been mad, furious. Still was. It would take her some time to let go of that and see herself as the great and lovable person she was, but he had no doubt she would get there. And he was only too happy to help her get there faster.

  But first things first.

  Now, they had to deal with what was ahead: Sarah’s surgery and recovery, then probably chemo. Seemingly endless hospital stays and a lot of downs before things would be looking up again. He would be there for her, no matter what. Even if that meant he had to postpone his fight. Rainey took priority over everything. It’s what he had said, and it’s what he had meant. Nothing meant more than her happiness, her well-being. Not a fight. Not a title. Nothing. And judging by last night and this morning, it seemed like she was slowly starting to believe it too.

  “I would have never given up on her. She could have made me wait six months, hell, a year, and I still would have chased her.”

  Logan’s mom’s eyes turned serious. “She’s going to need you, honey.”

  “I know, Mom.”

  “Are you prepared to give her that?”