Wildcards wc-1

by George R. R. Martin

  The thing coming in my window is seven fucking feet tall, with triple jointed daddy-long-legs arms that dangle so low his claws cut gouges in the hardwood floor, a complexion like Count Dracula, and a snout on him like the Big Bad Wolf. When he grins, the whole damn thing opens on a foot of pointed green teeth. The fucker even spits venom, which is a good talent to have if you're going to wander around Jokertown at night. "Got any speed?" he asks as he climbs down from the window. He spies the bottle of tequila on the nightstand, snares it with one of those ridiculous arms of his, and helps himself to a big swallow.

  "Do I look like the kind of man who'd do crank?" I say.

  "Guess we'll have to do mine then," Croyd says, and pulls a fistful of blacks from his pocket. He takes four of them and washes them down with more of my Cuervo Gold…

  … imagine if Hubert Humphrey had drawn a joker, picture the Hube with a trunk stuck in the middle of his face, like a flaccid pink worm where his nose ought to be, and you've got a good fix on Xavier Desmond. His hair is thin or gone, and his eyes are gray and baggy as his suit. He's been at it for ten years now, and you can tell it's wearing him out. The local columnists call him the mayor of Jokertown and the voice of the jokers; that's about as much as he's accomplished in ten years, him and his sorry hack Dockers' Anti-Defamation League-a couple of bogus titles, a certain status as Tammanys best-loved joker pet, invitations to a few nice Village parties when the hostess can't get an ace on such short notice.

  He stands on the platform in his three-piece suit, holding his fucking hat in his trunk for Christ's sake, talking about joker solidarity, and voting drives, and joker cops for Jokertown, doing the old soft-shoe like it really meant something. Behind him, under a sagging JADL banner, is the sorriest lineup of pathetic losers you'd ever want to see. If they were blacks they'd be Uncle Toms, but the jokers haven't come up with a name for them yet… but they will, you can bet your mask on that. The JADL faithful are heavy into masks, like good jokers everywhere. Not just ski masks and dominoes either. Walk down the Bowery or Chrystie Street, or linger for a while in front of Tachyon's clinic, and you see facial wear out of some acidhead's nightmare: feathered birdmasks amp; deathsheads amp; leather ratfaces amp; monks cowls amp; shiny sequined individualized "fashion masks" that go for a hundred bucks a throw. The masks are part of the color of Jokertown, and the tourists from Boise and Duluth and Muskogee all make sure and buy a plastic mask or two to take home as souvenirs, and every half-blind-drunk hack reporter who decides to do another brainless write-up on the poor fucked-up jokers notices the masks right off. They stare so hard at the masks that they don't notice the shiny-thin Salvation Army suits and faded-print house dresses the masked jokers are wearing, they don't notice how old some of those masks are getting, and they sure as shit don't pick up on the younger jokers, the ones in leather amp; Levi's, who aren't wearing any masks at all. "This is what I look like," a girl with a face like a jar of smashed assholes told me that afternoon outside a rancid Jokertown porn house. "I could give a shit if the nats like it or not. I'm supposed to wear a mask so some nat bitch from Queens won't get sick to her stomach when she looks at me? Fuck that."

  Maybe a third of the crowd listening to Xavier Desmond are wearing masks. Maybe less. Whenever he stops for applause, the people in the masks slap their hands together, but you can tell it's an effort, even for them. The rest of them are just listening, waiting, and they've got eyes as ugly as their deformities. It's a mean young bunch out there, and a lot of them are wearing gang colors, with names like DEMON PRINCES amp; KILLER GEEKS amp; WEREWOLVES. I'm standing off to the side, wondering if the Tack is going to show up as advertised, and I don't see who starts it, but suddenly Desmond just shuts up, right in the middle of a boring declaration about how aces amp; jokers amp; nats is all god's chillums under the skin, and when I look back over they're booing him and throwing peanuts, they're pelting him with salted peanuts still in the shell, bouncing them right off his head and his chest and his fucking trunk, tossing them into his hat, and Desmond is just standing there gaping. He's supposed to be the voice of these people, he read it in the Daily News and the Jokertown Cry, and the sorry old fucker doesn't have the least little turd of an idea of what's going down…

  … just past midnight when I walk outside of Freakers to piss casually into the gutter, figuring it's a safer bet than the men's room, and the odds against a cop cruising through Jokertown at this time of night are so remote that they're laughable. The streetlight is busted, and for a moment I think it's Wilt Chamberlain standing there, but then he comes closer and I notice the arms amp; claws amp; snout. Skin like old ivory. I ask him what the fuck his problem is, and he asks me if I'm not the guy wrote the book about the Angels, and a half-hour later we're sitting in a booth in the back of an all-night place on Broome Street, while the waitress pours gallons of black coffee for him. She has long blond hair and nice legs, and on the breast of her pink uniform it says Sally, and she's good to look at until you notice her face. I discover that I'm looking down at my plate whenever she comes near, which makes me sick amp; sad amp; pissed off. The Snout is saying something about how he never learned algebra, and there's nothing wrong with me that about four fingers of king-hell crank wouldn't cure, and after I mention that the Snout shows me his teeth and mentions that while there's a definite scarcity of real high-voltage crank around these days, it just so happens that he knows where he can put his hands on some…

  …"We're talking wounds here, we're talking real deep-bleeding poisonous wounds, the kind that can't be treated with a fucking Band-Aid, and that's all Desmond's got up his trunk, just a fucking lot of Band-Aids," the dwarf told me, after he gave me his Revolutionary Drug Brothers handshake, or whatever the fuck the goddamned thing is supposed to be. As jokers go, he got a pretty decent draw-there were dwarfs long before the wild card-but he's still damned pissed-off about it.

  "He's been holding that hat in his trunk for ten years now, and all that ever happens is the nats shit in it. Well, that's over. We're not asking anymore, we're telling them, the JJS is telling them, and we'll stick it right in their pretty pearllike ears if we have to." The JJS is the jokers for a just Society, and it's got about as much in common with the JADL as a piranha has with one of those giant pop-eyed white goldfish you see waddling around in decorative pools outside of dentists' offices. The JJS doesn't have Captain Tacky or Jimmy Roosevelt or Rev. Ralph Abernathy helping out on its board of directors-in fact it doesn't have a board of directors, and it doesn't sell memberships to concerned citizens and sympathetic aces either. The Hube would feel damned uncomfortable at a JJS meeting, whether he had a trunk on his face or not…

  … even at four in the morning, the Village isn't Jokertown, and that's part of the problem, but mostly it's just that Croyd is hotwired and crazy on meanass crank, and as far as I can tell he hasn't slept for a week.

  Somewhere in the Village is the guy we set out to find, a half-black all-ace pimp who's supposed to have the sweetest girls in the city, but we can't find him, and Croyd keeps insisting that the streets are all changing around, like they're alive and treacherous and out to get him. Cars slow down when they see Croyd swinging down the pavement with those long triple-jointed daddy-long-legs strides of his, and speed up fast again when he looks over at them and snarls. We're in front of a deli when he forgets all about the pimp we're supposed to find and decides he's thirsty instead. He wraps his claws around the steel shutters, gives a little grunt, and just yanks the whole thing out of the brick storefront and uses it to smash in the window glass halfway through the case of Mexican beer we hear the sirens. Croyd opens his snout and spits at the door, and the poison shit hits the glass and starts burning right through it: "They're after me again," he says in a voice full of doom amp; hate amp; speedfreak rage amp; paranoia. "They're all after me." And then he looks at me and that's all it takes, I know I'm in deep shit. "You led them here," he says, and I tell him no, I like him, some of my best fucking friends are jokers, and the
red amp; blue flashers are out front as he jumps to his feet, grabs me, and screams, "I'm not a joker, you fuck, I'm a goddamned ace," and throws me right through the window, the other window, the one where the plate glass was still intact. But not for long… while I'm lying in the gutter, bleeding, he makes his own exit, right out the front door with a sixpack of Dos Equis under his arm, and the cops pump a couple rounds into him, but he just laughs at them, and starts to climb… His claws leave deep holes in the brick. When he reaches the roof, he howls at the moon, unzips his pants, and pisses down on all of us before he vanishes…

  STRINGS

  by Stephen Leigh

  The death of Andrea Whitman was entirely Puppetman 's doing. Without his powers, the sullen lust that a retarded boy of fourteen felt for a younger neighbor girl would never have been fired into a molten white fury. By himself, Roger Pellman would never have lured Andrea into the woods behind Sacred Heart School in the suburbs of Cincinnati, and there ripped the clothing from the terrified girl. He would never have thrust that strange hardness into Andrea until he felt a sagging, powerful release. He would never have looked down at the child and the trickle of dark blood between her thighs and felt a compelling disgust that made him grasp the large flat rock alongside them. He would never have used that stone to bludgeon Andrea's blond head into an unrecognizable pulp of torn flesh and splintered bone. He would never have gone home with her gore splattered over his naked body.

  Roger Pellman would have done none of that if Puppetman had not been hiding in the recesses of poor Roger's damaged mind, feeding on the emotions he found there, manipulating the boy and amplifying the adolescent fever that wracked the body. Roger's mind was weak and malleable and open; Puppetman's rape of it was no less brutal than what Roger did to Andrea.

  Puppetman was eleven. He hated Andrea, hated her with the horrible anger of a spoiled child, hated her for having betrayed and humiliated him. Puppetman was the revenge fantasy of a boy infected with the wild card virus, a boy who'd made the mistake of confessing to Andrea his affection for her. Perhaps, he'd told the older girl, they might one day marry. Andrea's eyes had gone wide at that and she'd run away from him giggling. He'd begun to hear the mocking whispers the very next day at school, and he knew even as the flush burned in his cheeks that she'd told all her friends. Told everyone.

  When Roger Pellman tore away Andrea's virginity, Puppetman had felt the faint stirring of that heat himself. He'd shuddered with Roger's orgasm; when the boy slammed the rock into the girl's weeping face, when he'd heard the dull crack of bone, Puppetman had gasped. He staggered with the pleasure that coursed through him.

  Safe in his own room, a quarter-mile away.

  His overwhelming response to that first murder frightened him at the same time that it drew him. For months afterward, he was slow to utilize that power, afraid to be so rapturously out of control again. But like all forbidden things, the urge coerced him. In the next five years, for various reasons, Puppetman would emerge and kill seven times more.

  He thought of that power as an entity apart from himself. Hidden, he was Puppetman-a lacing of strings dangling from his invisible fingers, his collection of grotesque dolls capering at the ends.

  TEDDY, JIMMY STILL SCRAMBLING HARTMANN, JACKSON, UDALL WAIT FOR

  COMPROMISE

  New York Daily News, July 14, 1976

  HARTMANN PROMISES FLOOR FIGHT JOKERS' RIGHTS ISSUE ON PLATFORM

  The New York Times, July 14, 1976

  Senator Gregg Hartmann stepped from the elevator cage into the foyer of the Aces High. His entourage filed into the restaurant behind him: two secret service men; his aides John Werthen and Amy Sorenson; and four reporters whose names he'd managed to forget on the way up. It had been a crowded elevator ride. The two men in the dark glasses had grumbled when Gregg had insisted that they could all make the trip together.

  Hiram Worchester was there to meet the group. Hiram was an impressive sight himself, a man of remarkable girth who moved with a surprising lightness and agility. He strode easily across the carpeted reception area, his hand extended and a smile lurking in his full beard. Light from the falling sun poured through the large windows of the restaurant and gleamed from his bald head. "Senator," he said jovially. "Good to see you again."

  "And you, Hiram." Then Gregg smiled ruefully, nodding at the crowd behind him. "You know John and Amy, I think. The rest of this zoo will have to introduce themselves. They seem to be permanent retainers anymore." The reporters chuckled; the bodyguards allowed themselves thin, fleeting smiles.

  Hiram grinned. "I'm afraid that's the price you pay for being a candidate, Senator. But you're looking well, as usual. The cut of that jacket is perfect." The huge man took a step back from Gregg and looked him up and down appraisingly. Then he leaned closer and lowered his voice conspiratorially. "You should give Tachyon a few hints concerning his attire. Really, what the good doctor wore here this evening…" Chestnut eyes rolled heavenward in mock horror, and then Hiram laughed. "But you don't need to hear me prattling on; your table's ready."

  "I understand that my guests have already arrived." That sent the corners of Hiram's mouth down in a frown. "Yes. The woman is fine, even though she drinks too much for my taste, but if the dwarf were not here under your aegis, I'd have him thrown out. It isn't so much that he's created a scene, but he's dreadfully rude to the help."

  "I'll make sure that he behaves, Hiram." Gregg shook his head, running fingers through ash-blond hair. Gregg Hartmann was a man of plain and undistinguished appearance. He was neither one of the well-groomed and handsome politicians that seemed to be the new breed of the 70s, nor was he of the other type, the pudgy and self-satisfied Old Boys. Hiram knew Gregg as a friendly, natural person, one who genuinely cared for his constituents and their problems. As chairman of SCARE, Gregg had demonstrated a compassion for all those affected by the wild card virus. Under the senator's leadership, various restrictive laws concerning those infected by the virus had been relaxed, stricken from the books, or judiciously ignored. The Exotic Powers Control Act and the Special Conscription were still legally in effect, but Senator Hartmann forbade any of his agents to enforce them. Hiram often marveled at Gregg's deft handling of sensitive relations between the public and the jokers. "Friend of Jokertown" was what Tune had dubbed him in one article (accompanied by a photograph of Gregg shaking the hand of Randall, the doorman at the Funhouse-Randall's hand was an insect's claw, and at the center of the palm was a grouping of wet, ugly eyes). For Hiram, the senator was that rare Good Man, an anomaly among the politicians.

  Gregg sighed, and Hiram saw a deep weariness behind the senator's good-natured facade. "How's the convention going, Senator?" he asked. "What chance does the jokers' Rights plank have?"

  "I'm fighting for it as hard as I can," Gregg answered, and he glanced back at the reporters; they watched the exchange with unfeigned interest. "We'll find out in a few days when we have the floor vote."

  Hiram saw the resignation in Hartmann's eyes; that gave him all the information he needed-it would fail, like all the rest. "Senator," he said, "when this convention's over, I expect you to stop by here again. I'll prepare something special just for you; to let you know that your work's appreciated." Gregg clapped Hiram lightly on the back. "On one condition," he replied. "You have to make sure that I can get a corner booth. By myself. Alone." The senator chuckled. Hiram grinned in return.

  "It's yours. Now, tonight, I'd recommend the beef in red wine its very delicate. The asparagus is extremely fresh and I made the sauce myself. As for dessert, you must taste the white chocolate mousse."

  Elevator doors opened behind them. The secret service men glanced warily back as two women stepped out. Gregg nodded to them and shook Hiram's hand again. "You need to take care of your other guests, my friend. Give me a call when this madness is over."

  "You'll be needing a White House chef, too."

  Gregg laughed heartily at that. "You'll need to speak to Carter or Kennedy about th
at, Hiram. I'm just one of the dark horses in this one."

  "Then they're passing by the best man," Hiram retorted. He strode off.

  The Aces High occupied the observation tower of the Empire State Building. From the expansive windows, the diners could gaze out to a view of Manhattan Island. The sun touched the horizon beyond the city harbor; the golden dome of the Empire State Building tossed reflections into the dining room. In the gold-green sunset, Dr. Tachyon was not difficult to spot, seated at his customary table with a woman Gregg did not recognize. Hiram had been right, Gregg saw immediately-Tachyon wore a dinner jacket of blazing scarlet trimmed with a collar of emerald-green satin. Purple sequins traced bold patterns on the sleeves and shoulders; mercifully, his pants were hidden, though a band of iridescent orange could be glimpsed under the jacket. Gregg waved, Tachyon nodded. "John, please take our guests over to the table and make introductions for me. I'll be over in a second. Amy, would you come with me?" Gregg threaded his way through the tables.

  Tachyon's shoulder-length hair was the same improbable red as his jacket. He ran a dainty hand through the tangled locks as he rose to greet Gregg. "Senator Hartmann," he said. "May I present Angela Fascetti? Angela, this is Senator Gregg Hartmann and his aide Amy Sorenson; the senator's the man responsible for much of the funding of my clinic."