Hope budded inside him, blooming more with every second. “Where is she?”
Chapter Thirty-two
The knock on Roxanne’s cabin door startled her. Her pulse leaped into a dead run, pounding in her veins. She grabbed the semiautomatic from the coffee table and parted the curtains enough to peer through the window.
Tanner stood there, his shoulders back, his chest out. Determination poured off him. He was a man on a mission, and she wasn’t strong enough to resist him.
“Please go away,” she called through the door.
“Not until we talk.”
The sooner this started, the sooner it could be over. She had too much to do to spend her time arguing. Her plans were coming together. She just needed to retain her focus long enough to figure out the best plan of action—one that wasn’t certain to get her killed.
With Tanner around, all she’d be able to think about would be the two of them. She couldn’t be that selfish—not when the people who hurt Jake were still out there.
She tossed a throw over the papers littering the coffee table and unbolted the door. She’d forgotten to hide the scars on her wrist, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was tired of hiding.
Her hand stayed on the wood, barring his path.
He looked battered. Bruises covered his jaw, and she could see the subtle outline of a bandage under his shirt. She ached to reach out and touch him, just to make sure he was whole and safe, but she held back. If she touched him once, she might never let go.
She couldn’t do that to him. Or to Jake.
His eyes roamed over her, sliding over every inch as if inspecting her for damage. She was left with mostly bruises and more anger than she knew how to handle.
“I’m coming in,” he informed her.
That anger began to bubble, rising to the surface. “Like hell you are. I want to be alone.”
“I don’t care. You’re hurt. You’re angry. You need someone, and Jake isn’t able to step in.”
The mention of his name made tears gather in her eyes. “I don’t need you.”
He moved forward, but she didn’t budge. He was so close, she could smell soap and the scent of his skin beneath. She breathed it in, and her tears receded as a sense of calm enveloped her.
The hard planes of his chest were only inches away. She ached to lean forward and lay her head over his heart, to listen to it beat, and to know for certain that he was safe and well.
“What if I said I need you?” he asked.
She looked up at him in shock. His expression was serious without a hint of teasing. “I wrote up my report for Bella. I told her how you saved my life and how you were going to be an asset to the team.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about us, about how I feel about you.”
Roxanne wasn’t sure she wanted to know. Her emotions were already in overdrive. She was barely hanging on to her self-control as it was. Curling into a ball and crying her eyes out would have been so easy. Not giving in to the temptation took every bit of her willpower.
Still, he’d offered to trade his life for hers, and that meant more than he’d ever know. She owed him for that, and out of respect and love for him, she couldn’t turn him away without at least listening.
She stepped back, letting him into the cabin.
It was small, cozy, and rustic. There was no TV or Internet connection. She couldn’t even make cell phone calls unless she went into the town at the foot of the mountain. The isolation had given her time to think, and when she wasn’t worrying about Jake or plotting how to take down the people who’d done this, she thought about Tanner.
She didn’t want to love him. It was too much for her to deal with right now. She kept wishing that her feelings would go away, but instead of fading, they’d solidified into this unbreakable ribbon flowing inside her.
Tanner sat down, eyeing the bumps under the throw draped over her work. “Not your usual décor.”
She ignored his thinly veiled interest. “I’m in the middle of something.”
“I’m sure you are. Probably something illegal, something that will get you killed.”
“I won’t let it go,” she said, anger making her voice louder than she’d intended.
He held up his hands. “Whoa. No one’s asking you to. Bella’s just as pissed as you are. She’s putting together a task force to look into the people who hurt Jake and the men who were held hostage along with him. Payton’s got some government bigwigs willing to help, too. We’re going to shut these fuckers down. You should come help.”
She didn’t want to help someone else. She wanted to do it herself. She wanted to make sure that everyone involved suffered at least as much as Jake did. Thoughts of revenge swirled inside her, making it hard to think about anything else. “I don’t work for Bella anymore. I resigned.”
“I know. I talked to her. She said to tell you she shredded your resignation. Mine, too.”
“You quit?”
“Almost. I thought I’d give it another shot. I was hoping you’d come back and shoot with me.”
“What about her policy of not letting coworkers date?”
“Oh, she totally chewed me out about that. She said we can’t be on the same team, and she threatened to remove my manly parts if I hurt you.”
Roxanne could imagine Bella doing just that, and it almost made her smile. “I like your manly parts.”
“So do I. Which is why I don’t plan on hurting you. That, and the fact that I care too much about you to ever hurt you.”
She believed him. The look on his face was too sincere, too earnest for her not to. But that changed nothing. She loved him, which was why she had to be careful. “I can’t be around anyone right now. For all I know, those people will send someone else after me now that Jake failed to kill me.”
“Join the club. He was ordered to kill me, too—remember? There’s strength in numbers. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life hiding.”
“I’m not hiding.”
“You are. I don’t blame you. Things are shitty. You’re in pain. The instinct is to run off alone and suffer in solitude. I get that. But there’s one problem.”
“What?”
“I don’t want you to suffer. And I sure as hell don’t want you to suffer alone. I love you, Roxanne.”
He didn’t. He couldn’t. She hadn’t done anything to deserve his love. “You’re just saying that to get me to go back.”
He took her hand and tugged her down onto the couch. She should have resisted, but the thought occurred to her too late. “No, I’m saying it because I love you.”
Tears stung her eyes, breaking down her anger. She didn’t want to lose that defense around her heart, not now when it ached so horribly. “I’m not safe to be around.”
“Bullshit. Besides, even if you are dangerous, you’re worth the risk.”
She shook her head. “Don’t say that. I can’t lose anyone else. You have to go.”
“Not unless you can look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me. Tell me you hate me for failing to save Jake.”
She had to find a way to lie to him, to send him away where he’d be safe. The chances of her surviving her plan of attack were slim. She couldn’t bring anyone else along with her.
Roxanne straightened her shoulders, gathered her resolve, and looked him right in the eyes. “I . . .”
He waited silently. A hint of insecurity wrinkled his brow. He was so handsome, even with the bruises. Those were marks of courage and bravery, and without them, she would be dead right now. Jake would have been completely lost to the enemy. At least now he had a fighting chance.
She grasped onto that idea, clinging to it like a lifeline. Jake had a chance because of Tanner. Maybe it wasn’t a great chance, but it was something. He was a fighter. If anyone could come back from what he’d been through, it was Jake.
Tanner had made that possible. She couldn’t let him think otherwise; not when he already carried so much guilt
over his brother’s death. She loved him too much to do that to him.
She could live without her job, but she wasn’t sure she could keep going without Tanner. He was her edge—her rock. “I don’t hate you,” she whispered. “I could never hate you. I love you.”
A slow smile spread across his face. “For once I’m glad my brother was right.”
She held up her hand to stop him before he got carried away. “It doesn’t change anything. I’m too dangerous to be around. You can’t take chances with your life. Your family needs you.”
His smile faded. “What about you? What about what you need?”
“I’ll be fine so long as I know you’re safe.”
He ripped the throw from the table, revealing what she’d hidden beneath. There were sketches of explosive devices, names and phone numbers of people who could supply her with weapons and explosives. She had a map of the area near Dry Valley, and satellite images showing possible locations for the kind of facility Jake had described in his journal.
“You call this fine? You’re planning a one-woman invasion of a compound you can’t even locate. You won’t even make it past the perimeter guards.”
“I’ll find a way in.”
He shook his head. “This isn’t the way to get revenge. Getting yourself killed isn’t going to help Jake or anyone else these people have hurt. It’s not going to save the people they continue to hurt. You need help. Let me help you.”
“You think it’s a suicide mission, and yet you want to help me? What about your family?”
“If we do this together, neither of us has to die. Come back with me. Help us work with the authorities to bring these people down the right way—the way that will keep them down forever.”
Roxanne looked at her plans, knowing they’d get her killed. Her anger had made her careless, sloppy. All she’d cared about was payback. But Tanner was here now, offering a voice of reason and sanity. She loved him, and that love shone bright inside her, revealing how sick and ugly her need for revenge had become.
Justice—that was what Jake deserved. He’d want her to make sure no one else got hurt.
He’d want her to be happy.
She stacked up her plans and maps and handed them to Tanner. “Take these before I change my mind.”
He shoved the folder behind his back, out of her reach. “Does that mean you’ll come back?”
“How could I refuse when the man I love is the one asking?”
He cupped the side of her face, his fingers gentle. His eyes fixed on hers, holding her stare. “You and I make a great team. Together, there’s nothing we can’t do. You’ll see.”
She felt the strength of his conviction swell inside her, dampening her anger and grief. The power he had over her was almost magical, sending doubt and worry flying away. She could see his love for her glowing in his blue eyes, so pure and bright she knew it would never fade. It gave her hope that things would work out—that Jake would recover, that justice would be served, and that she and Tanner would have a long, happy future together.
“I believe you,” she told him.
He leaned forward and gave her a delicious grin that made her toes curl in her shoes. His lips met hers, giving her a kiss that was over far too soon. A deep, hot longing swirled in her belly. She’d never get tired of that feeling, or the heated look of desire he was giving her now.
Her future stretched out in front of her, flickering with promise. And Tanner would be there, right by her side the whole way.
He pulled her closer, his smile widening. His mouth covered hers in a deep, hot kiss, and her body responded in a swift, liquid rush. She clung to his strong, solid shoulders and knew in that instant that he would always be there for her, as she would be for him.
“Do we have to go back right now?” she asked against his mouth.
He pulled back enough to stare into her eyes. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”
She shook her head. “Not a chance. But we’re alone. No bullets are flying. No one’s trying to kill us. I thought it might be nice to take advantage of the situation. You know, like normal people.”
His gaze caressed her face, and she swore she could see his love for her shining in his eyes. If she’d needed any proof that what he’d said was true, she had it now.
“We’ll go back tomorrow,” he said as he slid his finger over her bottom lip, making her shiver in response. “Or maybe the day after.”
Click here for more books by this author
Turn the page for a sneak preview of Shannon’s next novel of the Sentinel Wars,
DYING WISH
Coming in March 2012 from Signet Eclipse.
And don’t miss Shannon’s original e-novella of the Sentinel Wars,
BOUND BY VENGEANCE
On sale in February 2012.
Missouri
April 2
Jackie Patton was dressed to kill, and if one more of those burly, tattooed Theronai warriors tried to grope her, she was going to do just that.
Her red power suit was far too dressy for the occasion, but it made her feel better, almost normal. The thought sent hysterical laughter bubbling up from deep inside her. Normal was such a distant concept that she couldn’t even remember what it felt like.
Two years. That’s all the demons had stolen from her. She could never get them back, but she was free now, and determined to live that way.
She smoothed her hands over her suit jacket, ignoring the way they trembled. What little she had was already packed. She’d regained access to her bank accounts. Her house was gone—foreclosed and sold at auction—but she’d find another. She had enough money to live on while she found a job, and despite the tight job market, her résumé was impressive. A good position was just around the corner. She could feel it.
All she had to do now was let Joseph, the leader of this place—this compound—know she was leaving. Today. Right now.
Jackie went to the door of her suite, hesitating with her hand on the knob. She was safe here. There were no demons roaming the halls, no monsters lurking around the corner. But there were men out there. Suffering. Desperate. Dying.
She’d been told she could save one. All she had to do was give up her life and dive into this world of monsters and magic.
They said it like it was no big deal, like she’d gain as much from this bizarre union as the man she chose. Not true. She was free now. There was no way in hell she was giving up that freedom after having lost it for two years. She wouldn’t tie herself to any man. Not now, not while she was still broken and barely holding it together.
Don’t think about that now. If you do, you won’t leave your suite today. Again.
Jackie sucked in a long, deep breath and focused on her task. Simple. Fast. She’d be on the road within the hour.
That thought calmed her, and gave her room to breathe. She could do this. She had to. No one else could do it for her.
She grabbed what was left of her self-confidence and gathered it around herself like a cloak, holding it close. There had been a time when she could have faced a crowd and spoken to them without breaking a sweat, but those days were long behind her. Now, simply leaving her suite made her shake with nerves.
She was a different person now, not the powerful, confident corporate executive she’d once been. She was a refugee.
No, a survivor. That sounded better. Stronger.
She left her suite, feeling moderately less miserable. She had almost made it to Joseph’s office when she rounded a corner and came face-to-face with one of the giant warriors who called themselves Theronai. As he towered over her, nearly seven feet tall, his gaunt body seemed to grow taller by the second. A shaggy growth of dark beard covered his wide jaw, and his amber eyes, shadowed with fatigue, lit up with the realization of who she was.
Jackie’s heart squeezed hard, flooding her body with adrenaline. Survival instincts honed in the caves where she’d been held captive kicked in. She went still, hoping he’d pass b
y and leave her in peace as Joseph had ordered all of his men to do. But this man didn’t pass. He slowed, coming to a stop only a few feet in front of her.
“You’re the one,” he said, his voice ragged, as if he’d been screaming for days.
“I’m late for a meeting,” she lied.
His long arm reached for her, and she jerked back. “Let me touch you. Let me see if it’s true.”
Panic exploded in her chest, but she was used to that. She’d learned the hard way to hide her fear and terror, and now that skill rose easily, allowing her to speak.
“Leave me alone,” she warned, trying to make her tone as stern as possible. It was a complete bluff. There was nothing she could do to defend herself against him. She was weak from her prolonged captivity, and even if she hadn’t been, his overpowering strength was so obvious, it was laughable she’d even consider fighting him.
Angry desperation filled his gaze as he stared down at her. “I don’t give a fuck about what you want. Grace is dying. If I claim you, we might be able to save her.”
Claim you.
The words left her cold, and sent her careening back into the caves where she’d been held. The monsters who’d abducted her had treated her like a thing—a trough from which they fed with no more concern for her than they’d have for the discarded paper wrapper from a fast-food burger.
She couldn’t do that again. She couldn’t allow herself to be used or she’d be all used up, with nothing left of herself to salvage.
But what about Grace?
Jackie had heard rumors of Grace. She was a human woman who’d sacrificed herself to save a Theronai warrior who’d become paralyzed. She’d taken on his injuries, freeing him, while she lay trapped and dying, her human body too weak to combat the poison that had caused his paralysis. No one had been able to save her. Not even the vam-pirelike healers these people called Sanguinar.
“Stay away,” she warned, working hard to make her voice firm and unyielding. Sometimes that tone had worked to keep the smaller monsters away. For a while.
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