******
Up.
I can’t tell which way is up. Water fills my mouth, my nose, my ears. It feels like it’s doing it on purpose, trying to fill me up with all its blackness. My lungs start to scream almost instantly, shocked when my chest hits the water. The only thing grounding me, keeping me from losing myself to panic, is the fistful of material I have in my right hand.
I can’t see him but I know from the tugging on my arm Ryka’s swimming, trying to pull us against the powerful flow of water. It’s trying to sweep us all the way back to Freetown and I have no idea whether it’s succeeding or not, because I can’t see a thing. I have a fearsome urge to scream, and a war rages inside me―my overriding urge to freak out, going head-to-head with my natural instinct to keep my mouth shut tight. It’s like the circuitry inside my head has been fried and all I can do is focus on the pressure building behind my lips.
Think, think, think…
…do something… just think…
Ryka told you to…
A smile. Gentle brown eyes.
Kick like hell, Kit.
I kick. Finally, I kick, just like he asked me to. I screw my eyes shut, because that makes it less scary that I can’t see anything, and I kick like I’m running from the High Priestess herself. My legs feel like lead weights in the water but I move them anyway, pushing, pushing, pushing. A tumbling motion twists my body over and I feel hands on arms, lifting me upwards.
My face breaks the surface of the water and I drag in a frantic gasp of air that makes both my head and my lungs explode. Fear pulses through me for a second when I open my eyes and it’s still dark. I’m neck deep in water. We’re in the tunnel?
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Ryka says. “I’m right here. I’ve got you.” With his arm locked around my ribcage, pressing me to him, he really does have a firm grip on me. “We’re halfway, okay? Just take a breath. Get some air into your lungs.”
I can’t, though. It feels like I’m trapped in a vice and my chest can’t expand. “Take…take me back―” I splutter.
“It’s okay, just relax. I have you. I’m not letting you go.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I can’t. Just take me back. We’ll find another way around.”
“We don’t have time, Kit. Please, just calm down.”
I start struggling against him, gripped by sheer animal instincts, and his hold tightens. “Kit! Don’t make me knock you out. Just trust me!”
My arms and legs go still. It takes everything I have but I force my body to relax. “I do trust you. I just―I can’t breathe.”
I feel his lips against my forehead and even though I can’t see him, the contact steels my nerves.
“This will be over in less than a minute,” he says quietly. “We’ve got to go back under so we can get out. Are you ready?”
The current pulling at my legs feels impossibly strong, but I nod. “Okay. Okay, I can do it.”
“Good girl.” He kisses me once more, his lips pressing against my temple, and then he pulls me down. It feels unnatural to keep a hold of him as he sinks, but I concentrate this time, putting everything I’ve got into propelling us forward. It doesn’t take less than a minute. It feels like it takes ten, although it’s probably more like two. My brain feels like a light switch being turned off and on in rapid succession as we rise to the surface on the other side. I’m so disorientated that it takes me a full three seconds to realise it’s okay to inhale.
“We’re done. We’re done. It’s okay, it’s over,” Ryka says as he hauls me up the riverbank. My legs are boneless as my boots scrape against the thick mud, trying to catch a foothold. Ryka does most of the work, pulling me up until I lie flat on my back exactly where I collapsed after the tree pinned me when I first escaped. Once he’s got my legs fully up onto the bank, he sinks down next to me. His hand finds mine.
I’m too inundated by relief and adrenaline to figure out why, but suddenly I’m laughing. It’s the kind of laughter that shakes your whole body, and I’m so close to hysteria, I can taste it. Ryka puts his hand over my mouth to hide the sound, then his other hand covers his own mouth. He surprises me by joining in, his body shaking with nervous laughter as we both gasp for breath.
“I’m…I’m sorry,” I choke out.
His hand tightens around mine, squeezing. “It’s really okay.”
We’ve barely stopped when Raff pulls himself up the bank, swearing. “Got mud in my boots! I can feel it squelching between my toes.” The disgust in his tone is almost enough to make me laugh again, but the reality of our situation kicks in and I don’t. We’re back in the Sanctuary.
“Is she okay?” Raff asks.
Ryka pulls me to my feet and sighs. “Yeah. Yeah, she’s okay.”
******
Soaked to the bone, I’m less entertained two hours later. It seems to take forever to make our way along the path beside the now fenced-in river, and exhaustion begins to set in. By the time the lights that mark the Sanctuary come into view, we’re all tired and grumpy, although no one says a word about it. No one says a word, period. My pockets are filled with grit, as are my boots, and I have a feeling it’s the reason my eyes hurt so badly, too.
We’re all too lost in the rhythmic clomping of our boots to break the otherwise silent journey. Eventually we leave the fenced area close to the processing plant where I saw the Therin eat lunch so long ago.
“We should wait for daybreak here,” I say. “There’s no cover between here and the city. It’ll be suspicious if anyone sees us walking around in the middle of the night.”
James grunts. “Fine. But we have to be up and away before dawn. We don’t need guards finding us out here taking a nap when we need to be in there.” He stabs the hilt of one of his daggers up ahead of us, but none of us need showing. The Sanctuary is a dusky shadow, barely lit in the distance. My stomach clenches as I realise my mother is in there somewhere. My brother and my father, too. We skirt around the perimeter of the low, single storey building, cautiously checking for guards. We find none, although James won’t let us build a fire. Too risky, and we don’t want to sleep too comfortably besides. His reasoning makes sense, but I still hate him a whole lot as I curl onto my side on the cold ground, using my bag as a pillow.
“I’m probably more comfortable than that,” Ryka says, dropping down beside me. He lies flat on his back, but he turns his head so we’re looking at one another. A cautious smile plays across his lips. I don’t really know what he means until he lifts his arm up.
“Oh―” My heart does that fluttering thing. I try to make my face do what I want it to but I get the feeling I look like a caged animal.
“It’s okay,” Ryka laughs. “Just thought I’d offer.”
“No, I, uh…that would be good.” I don’t take my eyes off him as I scoot closer. His eyes seem darker and more intense than usual, and when I rest my head lightly against his chest, he sighs. “You can relax, you know. Your head can’t be that heavy.”
I breathe out and let the muscles in my neck go, thankful I don’t have to keep up the pretence that my head weighs next to nothing. Now the only remaining problem is that I don’t know what to do with my hands.
Ryka chuckles and reaches across for my arm; he draws it across him so that my palm rests on top of his ridiculously firm stomach. His arm circles me, his fingers resting lightly on my side, brushing up and down. I shiver at his touch.
“I’m sorry,” I say stiffly. “I’m not very good at this.”
“Neither am I.”
I bite back tired laughter. “You’re clearly better than me.”
“I’m nervous as hell right now,” he says.
I dig my fingers into his belly a little, smiling. “Liar. You’ve had practice.”
Ryka shifts underneath me, making an odd noise at the back of his throat. “What makes you say that?”
My hand goes to his, still stroking up and down my side. “This.”
“Just feels right,” he murmurs
. “Doesn’t mean I’ve ever done it to anyone else.”
I prop myself up on my elbow, scrutinizing his face. Big brown eyes look up at me, unblinking. “But you have, haven’t you?”
“I’ve kissed a couple of girls, Kit. I’m not gonna lie about that. But this,” he pulls me back down beside him. “I’ve never done this before.”
Even though I’ve somehow ended up back inside the Sanctuary’s boundaries, and I’m exhausted, and I smell bad, and my feet have ridiculously big blisters, I can’t help but smile. It’s a stupid, goofy smile, and it remains on my face until I pass out.
SANCTUARY
“Wake up!”
The strained hiss rouses me and I find James bending over us. I’m tangled rather ridiculously with Ryka, our arms and legs wound together. James kicks at Ry’s feet with his boot, startling Ryka from sleep.
“We have to go,” James clips out. He looks up at the sky, which hasn’t started lightening yet. There are still stars out, glimmering faintly, but I know there will be Therin up and preparing for their day, as well as guards who patrol the city. Guards who patrol the compound we are currently sleeping outside.
It takes a moment to free myself from Ryka, embarrassed to have gotten so well and truly tied up in him, and I smile softly when his eyes meet mine. He doesn’t say a word. The others are all awake, and it seems strange that we all just get up and start walking. No breakfast, no changing of clothes, no fifteen minutes to get our heads together. Just James pushing us forward.
The sky is gun-metal grey by the time we creep up on the slums skirting the city proper. It’s here that we run into our first Falin. I bleach entirely, the blood draining from my face, as the young boy passes us. Ryka stiffens at my side and I hold my breath, waiting, just waiting for him to make eye contact with me. He does, and I notice James’ hand move to his knife belt. No question of what he plans to do if this kid recognises me. But he doesn’t. He gives our group a bland kind of smile and disappears through the abandoned streets.
“What was he doing out so early? I thought it would just be the servants,” James snaps, his eyes narrowing at me.
“I don’t know! He was probably meeting his training partner,” I hiss, scowling at him. How James expects me to be held accountable for every single person’s movements through the city is beyond me. Ryka shakes his head.
“She looks nothing like she did when she left here, James. I’m not surprised he didn’t realise who she was.”
James scrunches up his nose. “She is a lot dirtier.”
“I was talking about her hair.” Ryka’s eyes narrow, and my stomach drops. He knows. Somehow, he knows James did it. James doesn’t bat an eyelid.
“We’re better off getting you off the streets. Which direction should we head in?”
We’ve already planned this, and a mental map unfolds in my mind as I envisage the best way to reach the old warehouse Cai and I used use for training. Out of the way, close enough to the river to be in a good location but far enough to be sparsely populated, it’s the only building Lowrence owns that I know will be empty. Or a least the only person likely to be there is my brother. A sharp pain shoots through my chest when I think about him. What would he do if he saw me? I shiver, remembering the last time we parted ways.
We do our best to be covert as we walk quickly through the streets of the city, and no one seems to notice that we’re all wearing shirts or jackets that cover our lack of halos. By the time we arrive at the single storey building, I have given up worrying. There’s no point, and the whole repressed curiosity thing seems to be playing out our way. If anyone does think it’s odd that the six of us are walking around then they’re never going to break habit by even raising an eyebrow. The others don’t seem to be able to follow my lead, however.
“They’re like zombies,” Callum hisses under his breath. Ryka laces his fingers together to create a foot hold for me, so I can stand and take a quick glance in through the windows. Inside the building, all I see are the familiar blue mats and wall of training weapons at the far end of the room.
“Coast’s clear,” I say, dropping to the ground. Ryka’s hand goes automatically to my back and I lean into it a little, if only to let him know I appreciate it. It’s strange, but I really do. Over the past week I’ve grown accustomed to the frequency with which he touches me. I never thought I would enjoy the physical contact, but with him it’s different. I like it more than I care to admit.
Max and Raff shift nervously from foot to foot, watching out for people as James chews something over repetitively with his front teeth, taking everything in with sharp eyes. I glare at the muscles working in his jaw, waiting for him to give us the all clear. A stooped old Therin sweeps the street in front of the warehouse, completely oblivious to the fact that we’re waiting for him to move along. James exhales dramatically and backs away from the street.
“Are there windows we can break from the back?”
“Yes,” I nod. “But there’s no need. It won’t be locked.”
Everyone turns and looks at me. I shrink a little under the weight of all their eyes. “What?”
“Why didn’t you just say that?” James snaps.
I shrug. “I thought it was obvious. No one locks anything in the Sanctuary.”
“Apart from all the gates and fences,” Max mumbles.
“Well, yeah. Apart from those.”
The Therin doesn’t look up as we let ourselves into my old training room. The dry smell of chalk and cleaning products hits me full-on and it’s amazing how quickly I’m transported to a thousand different memories of all the time I have spent here. It’s like they’re someone else’s memories, though. There’s nothing to them, no emotion that would tie them to me personally. I re-live all the fights and sparring matches I shared with Cai here and try to find one, just one, where I should have realised his halo wasn’t working. There isn’t one.
Cai must have worked tirelessly to keep every single feeling in check. I’m angry at him even though I shouldn’t be. He had every reason to hide from me. If I had known, I would have reacted in the exact same way my brother did. I would have reported him without a second thought. I stride across the room towards the weapons, feeling stupid for letting myself think about him.
There is one good thing about coming here to the training rooms. I have stacks of knives stored here, none as nice or new or sharp as the ones I lost in the river, but still―I can replenish my knife belt. I pluck the familiar tools down off the wall, running reverent fingers across the wooden and metal hilts as I slip each one into a corresponding sheath around my waist.
“Jeez, girl, you’ll hardly be able to walk,” James says, stalking purposefully around the perimeter of the large room. There’s nothing else in here apart from the mats and us, so I don’t know what he’s searching for. I just keep on loading up on hardware.
I feel Callum slip up beside me. “It wasn’t just talk before, Kit. If we get out of here with our hides, I’m making you the perfect set of knives.” He looks on my hurried, mismatched collection with clear distaste. Yeah, they really aren’t all that hot, but the points are sharp enough and right now that’s all that matters. I nod to him gratefully and catch Ryka frowning.
“We have ten hours before nightfall. We should get some more rest,” he says. He rolls his shirtsleeves up so that his tattooed forearms are on show, and I can’t help but look down on the two black lines marking my wrists. He put those marks there, but I earned them. I shiver and do the opposite to him, tugging my sleeves down over my hands.
“I’m going to survey the area,” James says, dumping his bag. He takes off his weapons and tucks a solitary blade into the back of his waistband. I drop my bag and rub my hands over my face.
“There’s something I need to do.”
“Does it involve leaving this room?” James asks.
“Yes.”
“Then you can forget it.”
“But I―”
“What were the conditio
ns of coming with us, Kit?”
I clench my hands into fist, which makes me feel stupid. I glare at him, hating him just that little bit more. He curves a dark eyebrow at me.
“Well?”
“That I have to obey you,” I say tersely.
James does his best impression of a pleased smile. “Raff, Max, you come with me. We’ll be back in an hour.”
The boys follow after James silently, leaving just Ryka, Callum and me behind. I lace my hands behind my head, glaring up at the ceiling, wondering if my teeth might crack because of how tightly I’m clenching my jaw.
Ryka comes and stands close to my back, close enough that I feel his breath on my naked neck again. I sigh and inch closer to him until I can feel his chest is almost touching my back. Almost. “I really don’t like that man,” I say under my breath.
Callum snorts, but Ryka just hmmms quietly. “You know,” he says. “You’re forgetting what Jack said.”
I turn around and look at him. His hair, as ever, is tumbling into his face. “What do you mean?”
A wicked gleam flashes in his eyes. “He said you had to obey James and me.”
I open my mouth, grinning a little. He’s right, Jack did say that. He reaches up slowly and tucks my hair behind my ear, then softly traces the pad of his thumb under my lower lip. I don’t look away from his piercing gaze even though I know it must be making Callum feel awkward. “And if I told you I wanted you to―?” Ryka raises his eyebrows, waiting for me to tell him what it is I want to do.
“Go and find my friend, Penny,” I say. I don’t mention my brother. I know I’ll have trouble getting anyone on board with kidnapping a reluctant Falin, so I figure I’ll start with Penny. “She’s an Elin, so she’s not controlled. Her father beats her. I think she would like to come with us. She’s―Cai was her brother.”
Halo (Blood and Fire Series (A Young Adult Dystopian Series)) Page 28