Hard to Hold (The Hold series Book 2)

by Arell Rivers

  I place my hands on his cheeks. His gaze never falters. Again, I can tell he’s being honest with me. Now, it’s on me to decide if I can handle the truth.

  “It really hurts that you went to her hotel room. And that you did what you did with her.”

  I close my eyes. I have to forgive him, if we’re going to move forward. Looking at him again, I say, “I believe you, Cole.”

  A weight lifts from my shoulders. Not quite forgiveness, but it’s a start.

  In a pained voice, he says, “I’m so sorry.”

  I wipe a tear from his cheek. He sucks in his breath and hugs me so tight it’s hard for me to breathe. I don’t complain.

  Trust goes both ways. I need to start believing that he truly does love me, and that we have a future. Contrary to what my mother and my co-workers say.

  Sitting back in the seat, I say softly, “Please let me tell you about my mother.”

  “All at once, huh, Ro?”

  I can’t help but smile at his remark. “I’ve always been a rip off the Band-aid type of girl.”

  He reaches out and takes my hair between his fingers. A peaceful smile rests on his face as he runs his fingertips through the strands, then he drops his hand, turns and opens the car door. He walks around to my side and helps me out of the car. Side by side, we walk over to a bench at the tree line. LA glitters below us. He motions for me to sit, and then he settles next to me. We’re close, but not touching. Crickets serenade us.

  I look at him. He’s so sexy that my thoughts momentarily scatter. “You’re so handsome.”

  He smiles and I almost forget how to breathe.

  “However, for Mom, that’s not necessarily a positive.” His dimple disappears as he processes what I’ve just said.

  “I’ve already told you a little bit about my early childhood. My mother’s mistrust of good-looking rich men stems from my father. His family didn’t approve of her. You see, she was from ‘down the hill’ and his family lived ‘up the hill.’ When she turned up pregnant, his parents gave him an ultimatum: leave my mother and me, or be disinherited.”

  “I can’t believe a family would do that.”

  Casting my eyes downward, I continue, “I know. But they did. And he walked away.”

  His arm comes around my shoulders. “How could your father chose money over you?” When I just shrug, he asks, “Did he give her any support?”

  I shake my head. “They weren’t married. And no, he didn’t give her any money. Or anything. Although she could have sued him, she always said that she didn’t want anything from him because he rejected me.” Cole knows about my mother’s financial problems, including how she filed for bankruptcy after her own business failed when I was in high school, and the fact that I still send her money each month.

  My chest expands with a deep breath. “When I was little, I wanted a dad—someone to carry me on his shoulders and boast to other fathers about his daughter. Nothing to do with money.” They’re words I’ve never verbalized to anyone, and I feel unburdened for having finally released them.

  “It’s his loss, not yours.” We sit in silence, looking down at the panorama of LA stretched out beneath us. Cole squeezes me to his side. “So your mom hates me because I’m rich?”

  “And good looking.”

  “But you’re financially responsible and beautiful.”

  “She thinks you’ll use me and dump me, leaving me in a mess like my father did to her. It doesn’t help that you’re supposedly dating Emilie Dubois right now.”

  He snorts. “You set that up.”

  “I’ve told her that several times. But when she sees the photos, she says you’ll choose to be with someone like her over me.”

  “You don’t believe that, do you? I need to figure out a way to get through to your mother, but it’s what you think that matters most to me.”

  I twist toward him in my seat. “No man has stayed in my life. My father was never in it at all; Marco cheated; and then Chris, well, it’s not his fault, obviously, but he died. I want to believe in forever, but it’s really hard for me.” I feel utterly naked before him.

  Cole intertwines his fingers with mine. “No one can predict the future, so there’s no way of knowing how long we’ll have each other. My parents’ forever was too short at nearly thirty-five years. But I can tell you I’m in this relationship for the long haul. If you’ll have me.”

  He kisses my hand and then places both of his hands on my cheeks. “Rose,” he murmurs.

  The air between us becomes charged—okay, more charged. My breathing ricochets inside my chest. He brings his head closer, rubbing his nose playfully across mine.

  “I’m going to kiss you.”

  All of my insides liquefy.

  With his hands still on my cheeks, he closes the gap between our lips. The first brush of his lips is tender. He pulls back and looks deep into my eyes. I’ve never seen him look so vulnerable. So raw.

  I open my mouth. “I love you.” Oh my God. What did I just say?

  Cole’s eyes grow wide. They register shock, happiness, disbelief and finally joy. “Really? Even now?”

  “Because of now.”

  “Say it again.”

  “I love you, Cole Manchester.”

  “And I love you, Rose Bloomer.”

  I start to laugh and shake, all at once. Cole envelops me in his arms, kissing my face, my eyes and my cheeks before finding my mouth. His tongue invades my mouth, just as mine does his. We’re all lips and teeth and tongues and hands. We’re pouring the awfulness of last week into this one kiss. It’s a sensation overload. Inexplicably, tears start to well up.

  Cole pulls back and looks at me. We’re both breathing hard. Wiping a stray tear away from my cheek, he asks, “What’s this?”

  “You’re making me believe. I’ve never really had second chances.”

  “Ro, I think we’re on at least our third chance.”

  Giving him a teary smile, I clear my throat. “I think you may be right about that, Tarzan.” My nickname for him trips off my tongue, although I haven’t dared think about him in this way since Vegas.

  He kisses the corner of my left eye. “College.” He kisses the corner of my other eye. “This summer.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “Now.”

  “Yes. Now.” I lean forward and kiss him, again and again. This is where I belong.

  All of a sudden, an image of Kim and Melanie taunting me about Cole pops into my head. I start to laugh, even while my mouth mates with his.

  “I know that you’re not laughing at how I’m kissing you.”

  “No way,” I snicker.

  If only they could see me now. I start to laugh again. Cole looks at me as if I’m losing my marbles.

  “I just had a visual of Kim and Melanie.”

  “Who?”

  “You know. Kim and Melanie who work with me.”

  He shakes his head and pouts. “The fact that you were able to have a coherent thought while I was kissing you makes me think I was doing something wrong.”

  “Believe me, if you were doing it any more right, I would be a puddle on this bench.”

  “I like the sound of that.” He strokes my bare thigh. “I like this dress, too.”

  My breathing hitches.

  He steals another quick kiss. “Tell me about them.”

  “It’s not really funny. I just thought that they would die if they knew the truth about us.”

  He quirks his eyebrow, causing me to reach out and trace its outline.

  “Why?”

  I shake my head. I don’t want to ruin this by talking about those two. “It’s not worth talking about.”

  “I don’t get why Gruesome added Kim to our team and reassigned Jessie to Melanie. Kim doesn’t bring much to the table. From what I gathered during dinner, Jessie and Amanda are less than thrilled with Melanie, too.”

  Jessie’s words about communication being key in a relationship bounce in my head. In a small voice, I say, “Because I’m
on probation.”

  “What?” He sits back, looking outraged. “What do you mean by ‘probation’?” He uses air quotes around the word.

  Sighing, I say, “Greta wasn’t happy with my performance. She took away all my other clients and added Kim to your team to make sure no other proverbial balls are dropped.”

  “All because of what happened in Vegas?”

  I whisper, “Yes.” Clearing my throat, I continue, “Greta put me in charge of your PR when she left that night. On location, she doesn’t allow for any departure from the publicity plan. Obviously a major deviation occurred.”

  “That’s fucking whacked. And the fact that my so-called marriage is fake will come out this week, right?”

  “Yes. The official marriage documents have to be filed by the chapel with the county by next Friday.”

  “So you’ll be off probation then.”

  “I hope so.” Assuming Lisa keeps her mouth shut after she’s exposed as a fake . . .

  “How has it worked in the past? How did others get off probation?”

  “Well, um, Greta only ever put one other account rep on probation that I’m aware of.” I don’t want to see a look of pity on his face, so I turn my head and say, “She was fired after two weeks and, as far as I know, was never able to get another job in the industry.”

  Cole’s fingers cup my chin and turn my head to face him. “Ro. Gruesome would be a fucking idiot to fire you. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

  “I hope so, Cole.”

  “Believe me. Gruesome is many things, but she’s also a very smart businesswoman. Your job is safe. And even if it’s not, you could start your own firm. I’ll be your first client.”

  “I really hope that you’re right and Greta won’t fire me. I’m not so sure.”

  He looks away for a moment. “You know, I actually think it might not be a bad thing if she did.”

  I place my fingers on his supple lips. “Keep that opinion to yourself, Mr. Manchester. I have less than zero desire to run my own business, and it’s probably not even an option. If Greta reaches out to all of her media contacts and warns them off doing business with me, my business would be closed before it started.”

  “The media would only accommodate her if you didn’t have any big-named clients. If I went with The Rose PR Firm, they’d have no choice but to deal with you.”

  “Pretty sure of your celebrity?” I try to tease.

  He smirks. “I have it on excellent authority that my Q Score is through the roof. And I bet I wouldn’t be the only Gruesome client to go with The Rose PR Firm either. Jessie isn’t thrilled with her current rep. And Martinez seemed interested tonight, too.”

  “Right, because all I’d have to do is snap my fingers for you and your friends to take a chance on a complete unknown. I wouldn’t want to do any harm to your careers.”

  “Ro, if Gruesome fucks with you, she loses me. End of.”

  He brings me in for a fierce kiss. “I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through—the rock through your back window, seeing Starr’s crazy-ass apartment, having your car slashed.”

  “McKenna and Roberto helped me. And Nolan and the police, too.”

  “It should’ve been me.”

  “You’re here now.” I place my index finger on his chin. “If I haven’t said it before, thank you for not telling Greta that Starr is also stalking me. My job definitely would’ve been toast if she found out.” A question pops into my head. “By the way, has Lisa reached out to you, too?”

  He nods quickly. “She’s texted and left me voicemails.” He looks downward and continues, “The Psycho Bitch also sent some packages to the house, which I turned over to Wills.”

  I cock my head. “What was in them?”

  He clears his throat. “The usual crazy-stalker stuff. Panties, garter, framed marriage certificate. That sort of stuff.”

  Anger and anxiety race each other up my spine. Lisa has to be caught soon. I wrap my arms around his neck and bring his mouth to mine. Our kiss explodes.

  How have I lived without this?

  When he pulls back, his expression turns playful. “So, you love me, huh?”

  “Don’t let it go to your head.”

  “Oh, baby, it’s way too late for that.” His eyes wander downward to the rather impressive erection straining against his jeans.

  I smile. Not the small smile I’ve been trying to fake all week, but a really big, cheek-splitting smile. Cole answers me with a dazzling grin of his own. I reach out and touch his dimple again. He grabs my finger, brings it into his mouth and sucks. He smirks as I inhale sharply.

  Pulled into the vortex that is Cole Manchester, I look from his eyes to his lips. When my gaze travels back up to his, I see a hint of mischief there, but the overriding emotion is desire. Full-on, scorching, toe-curling lust wrapped in love. Even though our only physical connection is my finger in his mouth, I moan.

  “I like the sound of that.”

  He bites my finger lightly, then releases it.

  I want to get closer to him. I stand up and tug my dress down so it covers my mid-thighs. Cole watches my every movement. Turning sideways, I sit down on his lap, squirming to find a comfortable position. His arms encircle me, and his erection pushes at my hip.

  When I inhale, I’m surrounded by his musky scent. “I’ve missed this.”

  Moving my hair to one side, he kisses my neck. Trailing his lips up to my ear, he murmurs, “Me, too.”

  Just the feel of his lips and breath on my ear sends a thrill through my body. I moan again and turn my head to face him. Our lips are inches apart. Looking into his smoky green eyes, I utter one word, “Please.”

  I’m not sure what I’m pleading for; for him to kiss me, to love me, to let me back in, to never let me go.

  “Yes. The answer is always yes, Rose.”

  Thank God at least one of us knows what I’m begging for. He kisses me again, running his fingers through my hair. His lips travel to my neck, causing me to squirm against his erection. It’s his turn to moan.

  I’m swept up in him. My whole universe has been reduced to this one man. I run my hands over his chest and back, wanting to touch him everywhere. Then his lips return to mine, and my brain ceases to function.

  Sometime later, I tuck my head against his chest and listen to his racing heart.

  When Cole speaks, I feel the rumbling against my cheek. “I don’t want to stop what we’re doing, but I should get you home, Ro.”

  Home. I open my eyes and nod. “Take me home, Cole. Take us home.”

  I stand first, then he rises and takes my hand. It’s a silent communication that tells me neither one of us wants to be separated. We’ve had enough of that. He closes my car door after I get situated on the passenger side, then slides into the driver’s seat next to me. His right hand kneads my exposed thigh, sending pulses of hot desire through me.

  At this hour of the morning, traffic in LA is light. We arrive at my rental in record time, just as the first streaks of sunrise break across the sky. Cole parks my rented car in the garage. Wills drives by, leaving guard duty to the overnight crew.

  Cole escorts me into the house. Trying to stifle my yawn, I ask, “Stay with me?”

  He exhales loudly and offers me a small smile. “It’ll be my honor.”

  Quietly, we walk to my bedroom, careful to avoid McKenna’s mountain of luggage sitting in the living room.

  When we’re behind closed doors, Cole whispers, “Wasn’t McKenna here for just a week?”

  Grinning, I reply, “She likes having options.”

  While Cole uses the bathroom, I remove my dress and kick off my shoes. After slipping a T-shirt over my head—the one I took with me from Cole’s—I take off my jewelry. Rather, McKenna’s jewelry. When Cole comes back into the room, I’m placing the borrowed pieces on my dresser. “McKenna loaned me her accessories tonight, so I have to give them back to her before she leaves tomorrow.”

  “Today.”


  “Well, yes. Today. All this jewelry reminds me. Detective Mahoney said they’ve retrieved some of the items stolen from the other robbery victims. Hopefully, Chris’s engagement ring will turn up soon.”

  A look that I can’t decipher crosses Cole’s face. It must be my mention of my former fiancé. He says, “Let’s hope so.”

  I can’t hold back my yawn, causing Cole to yawn in response. We grin at each other.

  Holding up the pieces I just took off, I say, “I’ll put these by her suitcases. That way I won’t have to remember later.” I slip into the living room. Standing outside my bedroom door, it hits me that tonight will be the first time in a week that I won’t be crying myself to sleep. Or be alone.

  I reenter the bedroom. Cole has stripped down to his boxer-briefs and is standing by the end of the bed, arms outstretched. I walk straight into them.

  “I love you, Ro.”

  Those words send a delicious shiver up my spine.

  “I love you, too. I’ll never get tired of hearing you say it.”

  “Me either, babe. C’mon, let’s get some sleep.” I give him a quizzical look. He doesn’t want me? “I love that you’re disappointed, but we need to take McKenna to the airport in just a few hours. There will be plenty of time for you to get reacquainted with my body tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that. And—”

  Laughing, I put my hand across his mouth. “I get it, Tarzan. I’m not going to be able to walk for a month.”

  “At least.”

  Saturday morning

  A SLIGHT NOISE wakes me. Opening my eyes but not moving, I revel in the comfort of Cole’s arms. His even breathing tells me he’s still asleep, yet he’s holding me tight, as if to prevent me from leaving again.

  I hope this isn’t a big mistake—my heart can’t handle another round—but it feels deliciously right.

  Light rapping on my door sounds. When I glance over at the clock, the display reads eight-thirty. From the hall, McKenna whispers, “Rose, are you in there?”

  I want to spend my friend’s last few hours in town with her, but I don’t want to wake Cole. Carefully, I remove his hand from my breast and slowly lift the arm draped over my body. Holding my breath, I scoot free and stand up next to the bed. He turns to his side but remains sleeping, a peaceful look on his handsome face. I exhale and study him for a long moment, memorizing the face that I thought I’d never see again on my pillow. Please let us work out.