One Fine Day You’re Gonna Die

by Gail Bowen

  “It is fun,” Kali says. “I’m caught in the Molasses Swamp now-you’re stuck in there until…”

  “Until you draw the red card,” Robin says. She’s close to tears.

  “I didn’t think you’d remember the rules,” Gabe says. He seems genuinely moved.

  “I remember a lot, Gabe.” Robin’s voice is, as Gabe described it, full of music.

  Through the talkback, Nova’s voice is tense but excited.

  “Dr. Harris is doing exactly what she needs to do. Tell her to ramp it up. If she can make Gabe believe they have a future together, we can save Kali.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  I flick off my mike and touch Robin’s arm. “My producer thinks that you’re getting through to Gabe. Keep going.”

  She nods.

  “Gabe, remember the first time we took Kali tobogganing on that big hill over by the ravine? All she wanted to do was race down the hill, but you were worried she’d get hurt. You made her listen to your tobogganing safety rules five times.”

  Gabe laughs softly at the memory.

  “Finally she got bored, leapt onto her sled and just pushed off. When she hit that bump and sailed through the air, I thought my heart would stop.

  “We jumped onto our toboggan and soared after her.” Robin looks to me for approval, and I give her what I hope is an encouraging grin. It does the trick. She carries on. “You and I were such idiots, Gabe. Of course, we hit the same bump Kali did. She was fine, but we nearly broke our backs.”

  “Kali was wearing that cap she loved,” Gabe says. “The one with the bunny ears. She shook her finger at us and said, ‘When you were telling me all that stuff about being careful, weren’t you listening?’”

  In the background, we hear the sound again. This time I make a connection. I turn off my mike.

  “I think it’s an elevator bell-the kind elevators in old buildings have. Keep him talking.”

  Robin takes a deep breath and plunges in again.

  “Then there was that month we spent at Lake Saint Joseph.”

  Gabe’s voice is husky with emotion.

  “We made love every morning before Kali woke up. I painted your toenails. The shade was called My Auntie Drinks Chianti-and your toenails were perfect-they looked like small, wet pink petals.”

  “You and Kali were never out of the water,” Robin says. “You taught her how to swim and paddle a canoe. And that sand castle the two of you made-it was a work of art.”

  “Until the rain came and washed it away. Kali was heartbroken, but you just said, ‘Make another one’ and went back to that journal article you were writing.”

  Gabe’s voice has changed. The joy has given way to a terrible despair.

  “I remember every second of every hour I was with you, Robin. Dante was right: ‘There is nothing more painful than remembering happy days in times of sorrow.’”

  Gabe’s anguish is a knife in my heart. We’ve lost him, and that means we’ve lost Kali. When I meet Robin’s eyes, I see a panic that mirrors my own. She turns off her mike.

  “It’s not working,” she says. “Do something.”

  I grasp at a cliché.

  “Time heals all wounds, Gabe,” I say. “You just have to hang on.”

  “There’s nothing to hang on to, Charlie. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. When your show started tonight, you talked about that moment when Eurydice stretches out her arms to Orpheus, but all she can grasp is air. That’s the way it will always be for Kali and me. We’ll always be reaching for Robin, but we’ll never be able to touch her.” His voice breaks. “How could I allow my beautiful Kali to endure that?”

  “She doesn’t have to,” I say. “Kali will love other people. Gabe, no one’s life hangs on the love of a single person.”

  “Your life did,” Gabe says gently. “Over the years, I’ve often listened to your show. I was listening the night you found out the woman you loved was dead. What was her name again?”

  “Ariel.”

  “Ariel,” he repeats. “It’s a beautiful name-full of light. When you realized you would never touch her again, wouldn’t you have given anything for a needle that would end your pain?”

  “That was different,” I say. My voice is flat. “Ariel was…damn it, Gabe. It doesn’t matter what Ariel was. She’s dead. Kali is alive.”

  “And that means ter rible things can happen to her. In ten minutes I’ll be dead. Nothing will ever hurt me again. What kind of man would I be if I left Kali to face the pain alone?”

  Robin reaches for her microphone and clutches it as if it were a lifeline.

  “Gabe. I’ll come back to you. I promise.”

  “Don’t say another word, Robin. You were never a good liar. I don’t want to die knowing that the last words you spoke to me were a lie.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Robin takes off her earphones, folds her arms on the desk and rests her forehead on them. I have no idea how to comfort her. As always when I hit the wall, my gaze travels to the control room. Nova meets my gaze and opens the talkback. The news is not good.

  “The police aren’t going to find Gabe and Kali,” she says. “They’re running out of time, and they have no leads. They’re focusing on the hospital because, according to Gabriel Ireland’s friends, that’s where he felt most at home.”

  “And nothing?” I say.

  “Nothing. The hospital has been code black since we learned that Kali was with Dr. Ireland. There are literally hundreds of people looking for them, but that hospital is huge. I’m going to play another Tord Gustavsen tune-give you some time to prepare Robin Harris for the worst.”

  When she sees that I’m on the talkback, Robin turns her eyes to me. She has the five-mile stare of a person sliding into shock. I don’t know how to pull her back. The cool Nordic rhythms of Tord Gustavsen’s trio drift through my earphones. Usually the trio’s clean, effortless riffs help me to think clearly. Nothing helps tonight. The panic in my chest expands. I’m having trouble breathing.

  “There has to be something we can do,” I say to Nova.

  She shakes her head. “No one’s calling. No one’s emailing. No one’s texting. Everybody’s scared, Charlie. They know that Kali’s life is at stake. You asked people to keep the lines open, and that’s what they’re doing.”

  “Do you think I should go on-air and make another appeal?”

  Nova rubs her eyes. “It can’t hurt,” she says. “Anything’s better than just sitting here listening to the clock tick off the minutes of Kali’s life.”

  I flip on my microphone. Suddenly Nova raises her hand in a halt gesture. “Hold on,” she says. “We’ve got a call.”

  “Do you want me to take it on-air?”

  “Give me a minute to make sure it isn’t a hoax.”

  As she takes the caller’s information, Nova’s body tenses. Her voice through the talkback is tight with excitement. “This is the real thing. The caller’s name is Paulina Terzic. She’s a member of the janitorial staff at Lakeshore Hospital. She just came off her shift and tuned us in.”

  My hear t is pounding. “Put her through,” I say. I reach for my on-air voice.

  “Mrs. Terzic, hello.”

  “Hello, Charlie. Two things. Have I got time for two things?”

  The woman sounds old and kind. Her accent is pronounced.

  “Yes, but quickly.”

  “I understand. One: Dr. Ireland is a good man. Two: he and the little girl are in the old morgue at the hospital. Dr. Ireland and I used to meet there to talk when I was having problems with my grandson. The doctor helped me through a bad time. That’s all I have to say.” The line goes dead.

  Robin bolts upright. “The old morgue. Of course. That sound we’ve been hearing is the bell on the freight elevator. Tell the police to get in there now!”

  The Tord Gustavsen Trio beg ins another number. Nova has the phone cradled between her ear and shoulder. As she talks, she keys a message on her computer. The words appear on m
y screen: Cops heard Mrs. Terzic. They’re reluctant to storm the morgue in case Gabe gets spooked and injects Kali. You’re their best option. You have to convince Gabe to give himself up and let Kali live.

  Robin has pushed her chair toward me so she can see the screen. When she reads the final sentence aloud, her voice is ragged. Her eyes meet mine. “Please,” she says. “It’s up to you.”

  I inhale, lean forward and flip on my microphone. “We’re back. And once again, it’s the Gabe and Charlie Show. That means no calls please. No emails. No texts. But prayers and good thoughts are welcome. Is that okay with you, Gabe?”

  Gabe’s laugh is edged with sadness. “Prayers and good thoughts are always welcome,” he says. “Now I need your help with something, Charlie. I’m certain the authorities are monitoring your show tonight, but could you remind them that if they force my hand, I’ll have to move very quickly and that will frighten Kali?”

  “They’re listening, Gabe. But I will remind them to exercise extreme caution. We’re all jumpy, but nobody wants to make a mistake.”

  “Thanks. Right now, we’re on schedule. Kali’s already reached the Candy Castle. I’ve lost my last game. Are we having fun, Kali?”

  “Yep.”

  “As long as no one tries to come into our hiding place, we’ll keep on having fun.” Gabe’s pleasant tenor is soothing. “Kali knows exactly how it’s going to be. She’s wearing her magic pajamas with the stars that shine in the dark, and…Kali, why don’t you tell Mummy what’s going to happen?”

  “Won’t that wreck the surprise?” Kali asks.

  When she hears her daughter’s voice, Robin bows her head.

  “No,” Gabe says. “Because Mummy doesn’t need to see us getting the surprise ready. She just needs to see what we’ve done.”

  “So it will still be a surprise for her,” Kali says.

  “It will still be a surprise,” Gabe agrees.

  “Okay. Mummy when the clock strikes twelve, Gabe’s going to turn out the lights so we can see the moons and stars on my pajamas light up in the dark, and we’re going to watch them until we fall asleep.”

  “Oh god!” Robin’s moan is primal-the cry of a trapped animal.

  “Time to get ready,” Gabe says. “Let’s turn out the lights. Wow, Kali-the moon and stars on your pajamas really do glow in the dark.”

  “When I move my arms, I can turn the stars into shooting stars,” Kali says. “Look Gabe!”

  “That’s so beautiful, Kali. Now I’m going to push your sleeve up just a tiny bit. I’ll bet the moon and the stars shine even brighter when they get really close together.”

  Beside me, Robin folds in on herself like a broken doll.

  “Oh god,” she says. “He’s going to do it.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Nova is on the phone in the control room. Suddenly her voice comes over the talkback. “Charlie, Danny’s on line one. He wants to talk to Gabe.”

  “Danny’s hanging on by a thread himself,” I say. “I don’t think he’s capable of…”

  I switch on my microphone.

  “Gabe, there’s someone who wants to talk to you.”

  “I’m tired of talking, Charlie D.”

  “Then just listen. Remember Danny? He called in earlier about his brother’s death?”

  Gabe doesn’t respond. As the silence on the other end of the line grows longer, I wonder if I’m too late.

  “Gabe?” I say. He doesn’t answer. The next time I call his name, I realize I’m shouting.

  “I’m here,” he says finally. “I’ll listen to Danny.”

  When Danny called in earlier, it was agonizing to hear him speak, but dealing with a problem outside himself seems to free Danny from his demons. The stutter is gone. His voice is heartbreakingly young and urgent, and his message is clear.

  “Gabe, you have to listen,” he says, “because I’m probably the only person you’ll hear from who’s actually killed another person. Even if you only live one second after you kill that little girl, that one second will be too long. You’ll die knowing that you changed everything.

  “In physics, we studied this thing called the butterfly effect. It’s about how if a butterfly in the Amazon jungle flaps its wings, that butterfly may eventually change the weather everywhere.

  “My brother, Liam, was getting really good with his drums. He might have been a really great drummer. And he was smart-really smart. He might have been the person who found a cure for cancer or stopped global warming. He might have done all kinds of things. I think about that all the time.

  “I don’t know Kali, but you do. If you kill her, you change everything. Don’t do it. Let her have her chance to change the weather.”

  Robin reaches for her mike.

  “Danny’s right,” she says. “If you do this, we’ll never know what Kali could have been- what she could have done. Gabe, she might even have been able to help me.”

  “You’ve never needed help.”

  “I do now,” Robin says simply.

  Gabe doesn’t respond. As the silence continues, I imagine the worst. Gabe pushing up Kali’s sleeve, touching her cheek, injecting the saxitoxin in her small arm. I look at Robin, and I know from the pain knifing her face that the movie playing in her head is the same as the movie playing in mine.

  Suddenly there are voices on Gabe’s end of the line. They are loud and commanding-the voices of police officers barking orders. I can hear only fragments of what they say, but the broken shards paint a dismal picture.

  “He’s still alive.”

  “Stay right where you are, Dr. Ireland.”

  “Christ, he must have already killed the girl. She’s not moving.”

  Robin begins repeating Kali’s name in a kind of lament.

  There’s more shouting and then… Gabe’s voice, very calm.

  “Put down your guns. Kali’s just sleeping. Midnight is late for a six-year-old, and this six-year-old has had a big day. I’m not a threat to anyone-not even myself. The hypodermic and the saxitoxin are on the other side of the room.Danny was right. Kali deserves her chance to change the weather.”

  All night, Nova’s body has been drawn in on itself with tension. Now she raises her arms in a gesture of relief and triumph. Robin rips off her headset and grabs her coat and briefcase. But instead of moving toward the door, she comes over to me with her hand extended.

  “I don’t know how to thank you,” she says.

  “You just did.” I take her hand. It’s cool and smooth. “Robin, go easy on Gabe,” I say.

  She nods, but her face is impassive.

  It’s time to get back to work. I turn on the microphone and find my signature warm-honey voice. “My name is Charlie Dowhanuik, and you are listening to ‘The World According to Charlie D.’ It’s October thirty-first, the Day of the Dead, and our topic tonight is Death.” I pause. “So, lessons learned? The big one, I guess, is that nobody knows what happens after we die. That’s why what we do here and now matters so much. There’s a riddle that’s helped me through the night more than once. ‘What three words make you sad when you’re happy and happy when you’re sad?’ The answer is ‘Nothing lasts forever.’

  “So tonight if you’re one of the lucky ones, and your lover or your child is in your arms, hold them close. Cherish the moment. Love is as fragile as luck. If you’re alone and your heart is breaking, don’t despair. Our grandmothers were right. Tomorrow is another day, and nothing lasts forever. Now, let’s let Green Day take us out with that oldie but goody,‘Time of Your Life.’”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  When Nova and I walk through the front door of CVOX, the hearse is waiting at the curb. Nova looks at me questioningly.

  “That’s our ride for the evening,” I say.

  Nova cocks her head and gives me her crooked smile. “Is this a joke?”

  “Nope. When I was on my way to work tonight, the driver of that vehicle ran a light and hit me and my Schwinn. My Schwinn didn’t make it.” I
shrug. “I did. I guess it wasn’t my night to die.”

  Nova lifts her face to mine. “Thank God for that,” she says. I look into her eyes. The steadiness in her gaze has anchored me for the past three years.

  “I do,” I say. I’m surprised at the catch in my voice. And then, another surprise. “Nova, I want to stick around. I want to see what happens next.”

  The fog has lifted. Above us the red lips and Mick Jagger tongue that form the O in the CVOX call letters blaze in the night. Nova slides her arm through mine.

  “I’ve never ridden in a hearse before.”

  “I guess tonight’s your lucky night.”

  “I know it’s my lucky night,” she says. For a woman in a caterpillar suit, Nova moves quickly. She reaches up, draws me to her and kisses me.

  “Let’s go to my place,” she says. “Let’s see how this story unfolds.”

  GAIL BOWEN

  ***

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