Home Sweet Home

by Melanie Shawn

  Ben laughed a little and smiled a slow, sexy, melt-your-panties-off smile, “Oh, I bet you are.”

  Lauren's breathing quickened, as it was developing a very annoying habit of doing around Ben. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the rest of the candidates looking at her like they wouldn't mind if she suddenly became the victim of spontaneous human combustion. This did absolutely nothing to ease her discomfort.

  Just then, an AD came through the door and rescued Lauren – although she was sure that was not his intent – by announcing that Ben was needed on set.

  “See you in there, Ms. Harrison,” Ben said with a mischievous glint in his eye.

  Lauren just nodded, not trusting her voice lest it betray the rush of lust that was currently flowing through her body.

  As the doors shut behind Ben she noticed that all of the women in the waiting area were now staring at her blankly, their hostility somewhat less overt now that they knew she could see them.

  She ignored them and continued checking her e-mails.

  This same AD who had come into the room to call Ben to the set came through the door and began to call the women in the waiting room one by one. Lauren felt as if she was in an Agatha Christie novel as she watched the other candidates disappear through the door one by one, eventually leaving no one in the waiting room but her.

  She felt like there was a good chance that Ben had intentionally left her for last as a way of tweaking her, of messing with her mind. She didn't think that it went so far as wanting to throw her off her game. No, he didn't seem mean-spirited, just self-centered. She wouldn't put it past him, however, to do something like this just to tease her.

  Each audition seems to be taking 10 to 15 minutes on average. Lauren wondered if it was better for you if it went longer, or if it was shorter. She would guess longer, because if they liked your look and liked how you sounded, it seemed like they would want to put you into different situations to gauge your responses, to see how easy you were to work with, to see how directable you were.

  However, the opposite point could be made as well. If they didn't like you at all, why bother even keeping you for 10 minutes? These were busy people after all. Maybe, in the shorter additions, they had seen what they needed right away and in the longer auditions, they had been trying to tease what they were looking for out of someone who was not ever going to get there.

  Lauren shook her head. She needed to get all of this guesswork out of her head. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered but focusing on doing her best. She could never get inside their heads, and trying to do so was not going to help her give a better performance, in fact it might even distract her. She just needed to think about running her best race.

  Finally, as Lauren sat alone in the reception room, the AD came back in for the final time and gestured for her to follow. When they arrived at their destination, she was placed in front of a green screen, and there was a PA holding cue cards beside the camera. The cards held the lines she had been instructed to memorize.

  That's odd, she thought. Why would they put those up if they told us all to commit them to memory? Hmm, Hollywood. She would just never understand it.

  The AD came over to her.

  “How you feelin'?” the man inquired, in a tone of voice that told her that how she was feeling was not even in his list of top thousand or so concerns. Lauren just smiled in response.

  “Yeah, great, great,” he said, although she hadn't actually answered, “So here's the rundown. We're gonna do one take of you solo and then one take with Ben.”

  Lauren nodded. She knew all this, it had been explained in detail when she checked in.

  The AD moved behind the camera and began to count down, beginning with 3, 2, and then mouthed a silent 1 as he pointed at her. At the same instance he pointed, the red light on top of the camera flashed on.

  Lauren froze.

  Her mind was a complete blank. She opened and closed her mouth several times, hoping that starting the physical act of speaking would jog her brain into remembering what she was supposed to say, but that did not happen. In fact, all that did happen is that she felt like a trout on the bank of the river, flapping its mouth open and shut.

  She couldn't remember what she was supposed to say. She couldn't remember what she was supposed to do. She didn't remember that there were cards next to the camera that she could read from. She barely remembered there was a camera. She was completely and totally frozen.

  Lauren had never felt this way before, and she hated it. She was paralyzed with fear. Her palms were sweating, her heart was racing. Worst of all? She had no idea how to stop it.

  She heard the director yell cut from behind the camera, and then he walked over to Lauren and asked if she was all right. As soon as the red light turned off, Lauren's brain cells began to function again, and she was able to explain to him that yes, she was perfectly fine.

  “I'm so sorry,” Lauren apologized profusely, “I have no idea what came over me. Honestly, it was the strangest thing. I'm mortified.”

  “It happens,” he sympathized, “do you think you're okay to go again?”

  Lauren nodded decisively. There was no way in hell that she was going to let this thing get the better of her again.

  She felt fine as she heard the countdown, actually felt herself getting more confident as the numbers crept closer to one. That was her competitive spirit coming out. She wanted to win.

  But when the red light came on? It was a repeat performance of the first time. Blank brain, sweaty palms, deer in headlights expression, and complete and utter silence.

  She wasn't sure how any of the other candidates had done, but she would've bet good money that it was a hell of a lot better than she had managed to do so far.

  She heard the director yell cut again.

  As soon as the light turned off, Lauren again returned to her body. She closed her eyes in regret, realizing that she was in the process of totally blowing this screen test. She was watching it happen, powerless to stop it.

  She wasn’t sure how to salvage it at this point, or if there even was a way to salvage it. Her head was spinning and she felt faint. Uncertain if that was from the lights, the fear, or the fact that all she ingested today was a strong cup of coffee.

  Suddenly, Lauren felt a strong hand on her lower back, supporting her. She glanced up to see Ben’s large brown eyes staring down at her in concern.

  He leaned in close. “Are you OK?” he asked, and it seemed that there was real concern there. No teasing, no self-aggrandizement, no sense of entitlement. Just pure concern.

  This completely defied her expectations of the way that Ben would react in a situation like this. In fact, it was so counter to what she would expect of him that it made her wonder for a moment if he was just teasing her. If he was just putting on a sincere exterior to try to charm her, in much the way that he would put on a charming exterior to do the same thing to anyone else. Perhaps this was merely a case of him realizing what her hot button was – sincerity.

  But, when it came down to it, Lauren needed a little friendship right now, and even more than that, she needed someone to throw her a lifesaver. Ben seemed to be offering both. She made a decision to just take his offered concern at face value.

  She nodded yes. Of course, she was far from being OK, but the idea of showing weakness, even to someone who was showing friendship, made her supremely uncomfortable.

  Ben winked at her and then, to her surprise, completely took charge of the room.

  He turned and said, “Look everybody, we're gonna do the co-host copy first. Okay?”

  Without questioning him, the crew scrambled to get the right cue cards up.

  Ben turned to face her, angling his body so that he was blocking out her entire view of the crew, the cameras – of everything but him.

  He looked straight into Lauren’s eyes. “Listen to me, Lauren, here's what you need to do. Take a deep breath, in through your nose, and out through your mouth.”

  S
he did it once, and then again for good measure. She could feel solid footing returning under her feet. She did it yet again because it felt so good, and sensed her control returning.

  Ben smiled. “OK, good. That's working,” he said, “Your color's coming back. Now here's how you handle the camera. You need to pretend that it's Amanda, or Karina, or Sam in there. That you're just talking to a friend. That's the key. Don’t think about anything but your friend. Pick someone you know and connect with them and you’ll do fine.”

  Lauren nodded, understanding the logic in that statement. She decided to go with Amanda since, of the girls in the Fabulous Four, she was by far the most nurturing of the bunch – and Lauren could use a little tender loving support right now!

  This time, when Ben asked if she was ready, her nod was confident and self-assured. He, in turn, smiled that sexy smile that Lauren was beginning to REALLY like, then turned and faced the crew.

  “We’re ready.”

  The countdown began again, and this time when the red light came on, Ben began talking. Lauren naturally looked up at him, when she heard the words that told her that her line was coming up, she looked back to the camera, this time picturing Amanda on the other side. She recited the words that she was supposed to say, pretending she was saying them to her beloved friend, and she could hear the warmth and the smile showing through in her own voice.

  It all happened so fast.

  They did one more take with Ben, and when he moved off to the side, Lauren could still see him in her peripheral vision. He waited there, just out of frame, for Lauren to do two takes of the copy that was hers alone. This time, since the lines of dialogue had a bit of a sassy tone to them, she decided to switch things up, and she pretended to be talking to Karina instead.

  After she was done, she felt a rush unlike any she had ever experienced. That was completely unexpected. She had no idea she would feel anything at all after this audition, and she certainly never expected to feel an adrenaline rush comparable to what she might experience if she had jumped out of the side of an airplane!

  Ben came over to her, beaming and grinning from ear to ear.

  “Congratulations!” he said warmly, and she thanked him, extending her hand for a handshake. He laughed, shaking his head and giving her a big hug, one that was so enthusiastic that he actually picked her up off the ground.

  “You nailed that,” he said happily, “Man I have never seen someone get over stage fright that fast and kill an audition the way you just did. That was amazing, it was something to see!”

  There was such pride in his voice, and Lauren liked that a lot more than she thought she should. In fact, if she wasn't mistaken, she thought she might be blushing.

  Lauren noticed the director gesturing for Ben to come over, and pointed, saying, “I think you're needed.”

  Ben walked over to talk to him, and Lauren gathered up her things and started to head out to her car. When she got there, she saw that Bernie was leaning against it.

  “Bernie! Why are you standing out here in the freezing cold?” she asked him, concerned. She didn't want to have to be the one to point this out to him, but Bernie Kaplan was not a young man.

  “To hear how it went, of course! Why else?”

  “Good God, Bernie. Next time just tell me you're coming, I'll at least leave you my keys and you can sit inside the car!”

  “You're as sweet as you are beautiful. Now stop trying to change the subject. How did the screen test go?”

  Lauren sighed. Moment of truth.

  “Not as amazing as I would have liked. Bit of stage fright at the beginning. But I feel like I might have turned it around. By the end, I think they seemed pleased.”

  Bernie hugged her, “I have all faith and confidence in you. Now, how they feel? We'll find out in a few days. I'll let you know, chickadee.”

  Lauren returned the embrace, “Thanks, Bernie. Now go get warm!”

  Bernie waved at her as he returned to his car. Lauren was just about to unlock her Mercedes and climb inside when she heard Ben's voice from around the corner of the building, and he sounded really upset.

  She quietly approached the side of the building, not wanting to let him know that she was there until she determined if whatever was going on was something she could help with or not.

  She walked right up to the edge of the building and saw that he was talking on his cell phone. His body language was tense, his shoulders hunched over. When she caught a couple of glimpses of his face in profile, he looked scared and a little defeated.

  “No, I don't know what that means...well, is that what the doctor actually said or is that just what you think he meant...Of course there's a difference...listen, you have to bring a notebook when you see him and write these things down...No, I don't care if it's expensive, if the doctor says you need it, you need it....Well, obviously, I know it's my money, but what else am I going to spend it on that's more important than your health...okay...yes, I promise...okay...I love you.”

  Ben pressed the button to end the call. He sat down on the small stoop in front of the side door from which he had come out and dropped his head into his hands, looking miserable. Lauren was just about to walk over and ask him if everything was alright when he sat up straight and made another call on his cell phone.

  “Hi, Jerry? Yeah. I need you to set aside another $10,000 for next months Cedars Sinai bill....Yes, I know that's a lot of money Jerry, I may not be an accountant but I know that much....look, we've gone through this for the last time...if she needs something, I don't care if insurance covers it, she's getting it, case closed...dammit, Jerry, who works for who here, just cut the damn check!”

  Ben angrily ended the call and then dropped his head back in his hands, slumped over, defeated.

  One of the PAs popped her head out the door and said, “Mr. Stevens? We're ready for you.”

  When Ben stood and thanked her, to Lauren's shock, he was back in Ben-Stevens-Television-Host mode, like a light had been switched on inside him. All traces of anger, of sadness, of frustration, of defeat – gone in an instant.

  It made Lauren wonder what else was hiding behind that facade. She hadn't heard enough of his conversation to know all of the details, but it definitely was clear that he was paying someone's medical bills, which they obviously could not pay themselves, and that those bills amounted to quite a bit of money. That in itself was very selfless, let alone the fact that he had stood up to his accountant, defending his right to do it.

  Lauren considered this new information as she walked back around the building and got into her car. Hmmm. It certainly did not match up with what she had thought she knew about Ben Stevens.

  --- ~ ---

  Lauren was mostly silent at book club, which was unusual for her, and the other ladies who were attending did not miss that fact for one second, although they had different reactions to it.

  “Lauren, are you feeling alright?” Amanda asked, concerned. It was in Amanda's nurturing nature to always jump to caretaking first.

  “Yeah, you haven't said a word,” Karina chimed in cheerfully, “usually by this point, you've bitched us out at least three times for the fact that we're not discussing the book at so-called book club.”

  Lauren smiled pensively. “I'm fine,” she said reflexively.

  Karina glanced over at Sam. “Back me up, here, Sammi,” she said to the top of Sam's head, which was bent over her cell phone as she typed furiously with her thumbs, “isn't Lauren being weirdly quiet tonight?”

  Sam looked up, distracted, “Uh...yeah...” she said, although her tone made it obvious that she hadn't been paying one bit of attention to Lauren's relative volume of speech that evening, or possibly even to what Karina had asked her.

  “Hey!” Karina protested, swiping the phone out of Sam's hand, “Will you quit text-flirting with Luke on that thing and join the book club? I mean, good Lord, Sam, this is girls' night! Amanda and I are all lovey-dovey with our men, too, but we can at least take two hours
out of our hormone-fueled hazes and focus on hanging out with our girls!”

  Sam laughed, ashamed. “Sorry,” she said, “It's just that now that I've finally gotten the hang of text-flirting, it's kind of addictive.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” said Karina, handing the phone back with a small smile, “Let's just focus, shall we? Right now, we're concentrating on Lauren.”

  Lauren put her hands up in front of her, “No, please, go back to what you were doing. No need to focus on me.”

  Karina smirked, “Oh, but I think that there is. We want to know all about your screen test, particularly about any and all interactions with hottie host boy.”

  “Oh, it was fine,” Lauren said dismissively, almost distractedly.

  The girls all leaned forward on their seats, waiting for her to continue with the details. After she was silent for a moment and it was obvious that details were not forthcoming, Karina laughed.

  “Oh, hell, no!” she chuckled, “I know you don't think you're gonna get away with 'it was fine' right?”

  “Well,” Lauren conceded, “I guess I would say, after a somewhat rocky start, then it was fine.”

  Again, the girls leaned forward on their seat, waiting for her to continue – but were greeted only with silence.

  “Girl, I swear to God,” Karina said, exasperated, “It's like pulling frickin' teeth.”

  Just then the doorbell rang.

  “Oh, good,” Lauren said, “That would be Amy. Maybe we can finally get started talking about the book.”

  Amy, another of their friends that they had known since their days at Hope Falls Elementary School and who was now a teacher there, was generally Lauren's closest ally in the belief that – at a gathering which was called a Book Club and for which they had each read a specific book in preparation – that at least a small fraction of the time should be spent discussing the book itself.

  Amanda jumped up and ran to the door, returning quickly with Amy.

  “Hey, girl,” Sam greeted her cheerfully, “So, we were just grilling Lauren on her screen test for that Home Sweet Vacation Home show that she might be co-hosting with Ben Stevens. All we've gotten out of her so far is that it had a somewhat rocky start but was 'fine' thereafter.”