Home Sweet Home

by Melanie Shawn

  The two women were silent for a moment and Ben peeked, again, through the crack in the door. He noticed that Brianna, for all of her earlier teasing, had peeked around right behind him.

  What he saw choked him up more than he would have expected. Lauren was leaning forward, bent over his mother's bed, and the two were embracing.

  When Lauren stood, Ben and Brianna scurried several yards down the hall, both adopting a studied casual pose and pretending to be engrossed in conversation.

  When Lauren walked up to them, Ben put on a surprised face and glanced at his watch.

  “Wow, that was quick!” he said, and his voice sounded supremely fake even to his own ears.

  The three turned to walk toward the exit and he heard Brianna mumble, “Dork.”

  They walked silently for a few moments, and Ben thought that Lauren must be lost in the heaviness of the moment that she had shared with his mother. He wished that he could say something to her, something that would ease her burden, but for obvious reasons that wasn't an option. He felt so torn!

  Lauren broke the silence, saying, “So...”

  Ben turned to look at her eagerly, hoping that she would confide in him on her own, so that he could talk it through with her.

  She was making a clear point to keep her gaze focused forward, although a small smile played at the corners of her mouth.

  She said, “How long are you going to pretend that you weren't eavesdropping?”

  Ben opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off when she added, “Benny.”

  Brianna threw her head back and laughed with abandon, then slung her arm around Lauren's shoulder and said, “Oh, yeah, I LIKE her, Ben! You need to keep her around.”

  Ben felt himself blushing and didn't like it. It was his general policy never to let Brianna know that she was getting a reaction from him. But having two of the three women in his life ganging up on him at once was too much.

  “Um, yeah,” he mumbled, “That's the plan.”

  “Good,” said Brianna, satisfied, “Then I guess you're not as big of a dork as I thought.”

  --- ~ ---

  Lauren bade Ben's sister farewell in the parking garage and followed Ben to his Black Mercedes SUV. They climbed into the vehicle, and Ben turned to her.

  “Dinner?” he asked.

  “I'm starved! What are you offering?” she asked with a smile.

  He smiled right back. “Home cooked meal?”

  “Thought you'd never ask,” she laughed.

  As Ben expertly piloted the SUV through the thick LA traffic, Lauren reflected on the roller coaster events of the day. From the 4:00 am wake-up call, to the 5:30 am car service pick-up, to the stress of wondering where Ben was all morning, to thinking he was in the hospital and that hellish taxi ride, to the complete and total turn-around that the day had taken when she walked into the hospital room.

  Good thing number one – Ben had not been hit by a car or had some other horrific fate befall him. Good thing number two – getting to meet and hang out with Ben's mother and sister, who were absolutely delightful, and who seemed to like her, as well.

  Which brought her to good thing number three. 'That's the plan.'

  Ben had said that.

  When Brianna had said that he should keep her around, he had replied 'that's the plan.'

  Was she making a mistake reading too much into it? But how many ways were there to take that?

  He had said, in essence, that he was planning to continue their relationship.

  This morning, she had been obsessing over what the future held with him, and now she had virtually been assured that he was planning on going forward.

  She should be thrilled!

  I am thrilled, she insisted to herself.

  And yet? A tiny part of her was freaking out a bit.

  Commitment! And it was all happening so fast! AAAAHHH!!!!!

  She took a deep breath as Ben took a left off of Sunset and the SUV began to climb the hills above Chateau Marmont. She made up her mind to just enjoy this night with Ben.

  I mean, come on – a gorgeous guy, taking her to his house and cooking dinner for her? What's not to love about that?

  When they pulled into Ben's driveway, he rushed around to open her door for her, helping her to step carefully down.

  “Watch the pavement, it's a little uneven,” he warned, “The streets up here are so twisty and steep, and settling, that it's hard to keep things perfectly smooth. I don't want you to twist your ankle.”

  Lauren smiled her thanks, then chuckled, “Yeah, that would be really great for shooting tomorrow, wouldn't it? You striding confidently through frame, and me hobbling after you as fast as I can on crutches.”

  Ben smiled, “Would never happen. I'd carry you.”

  Lauren felt warmth lighting her up from within.

  As they walked inside, Lauren was surprised and impressed. “Wow! This place is amazing!” she gushed.

  “You don't need to sound so surprised,” he teased, walking with her and watching her reaction as she wandered around the spacious, contemporary rooms.

  “You must have gutted the place when you bought it...or a previous owner did it,” she observed, “There's no other way you would have achieved this open floor plan.”

  “Guilty as charged,” he admitted.

  “I love it,” she said, “It's contemporary without being cold. To be honest, I think I was expecting a bachelor pad. You know, cardboard cutouts of beer models and a foosball table.”

  “Lauren,” he said, feigning shock, “It's like we've never even met.”

  “I know,” she laughed, “What was I thinking? You dress better than any straight man I've ever known.”

  Ben laughed, “I'd tell you that's the best compliment anyone's ever given me, but I'd be lying if I pretended you were the first person who's ever told me that.”

  “Not surprised.”

  “So, how about steaks for dinner? Does that sound good?”

  Lauren's stomach growled in response, and Ben said, “I'll take that as a yes.”

  “Oh, God, how embarrassing! I just realized, though – I haven't eaten a thing all day!”

  “Whoa, that's true!” Ben said, “I'd better get started, then. You go ahead and keep looking around, if you like.”

  Lauren looked torn. “If you need any help...” she offered half-heartedly.

  Ben laughed. “Not at all. I'm an agent, too. I recognize a case of real estate lust when I see it. You're dying to explore my square footage, woman, admit it.”

  Lauren laughed, caught. “Oh, God, I admit it! I get inside a new house and all I can think about is going through every room, and calculating the resale value! Is that an occupational hazard or is it an inherent trait that made me want to become an agent?”

  Ben shook his head, “It's the classic chicken or the egg. Well, explore away, hon. My home is your castle.”

  As Lauren slowly made her way through Ben's home, her attention was gradually turned from the impressive modern remodel and the expansive city views to the wealth of photos of his mother and sister he had displayed artfully throughout the house.

  With Ben's exquisite taste, his walls were certainly never going to resemble a suburban Mom's refrigerator door, with snapshots slapped up willy-nilly, creating unintentional collages by virtue of their very number. That wasn't his style. No, these were carefully selected, artful shots which represented all of the eras of his family, even including some photos of his Mom as a young woman.

  Unsurprisingly, Alana had been a real beauty in her day.

  Lauren felt a lump in her throat as she completed her self-guided tour of Ben's life. The one thing, absolutely, that came through with unmistakable clarity was Ben's fierce love and loyalty for his family.

  Lauren returned to the kitchen, where Ben was busy at the stove. The aromas coming from the pans he was tending caused her stomach to growl again.

  She laughed, perching on one of the stools which sat in front of his kitch
en island.

  “As you could probably tell by that, it smells amazing,” she said warmly.

  Ben pushed a plate of cheese and crackers and a glass of wine toward her, “Here, I thought you could use a little snack before the meal's finished cooking,” he said.

  Lauren sighed, “You're a god among men! I love how you...cubed the cheese so perfectly...” she finished lamely.

  What she had been about to say was, 'I love how take such good care of me,' but as the words were flying out of her mouth they had felt embarrassingly personal, and so she had slammed on the brakes.

  Maybe I should have just gone through with it, she mused. It couldn't have ended up being more embarrassing than complimenting the man on his cheese-cubing abilities.

  They chatted companionably as Ben cooked and drank wine and Lauren ate cheese and crackers and drank wine, and – all in all – Lauren thought that it might be the best night she had had in years. If not ever.

  When they sat down to dinner, Lauren said, “It's so beautiful, Ben! Thanks so much for going to so much trouble!”

  Ben shrugged, “It was no trouble. I've been cooking since I was ten. Not to mention, it's the least I could do after you put a smile on my Mom's face today. That was worth ten steak dinners.”

  “Careful, I may take you up on those.”

  Ben brushed his hand against her cheek, “Please do, Beautiful. Now, let's dig in before it gets cold and all my hard work goes to waste. I want you to appreciate my genius while it's at its apex.”

  Lauren took a bite and moaned in pure carnal enjoyment. God, she didn't know how Sam did it, eating nothing but greens and nuts and the occasional apple. Lauren was an unrepentant carnivore and it was moments like this that she remembered why!

  “God,” she breathed reverently, “Genius is just about the right word for it! This is ridiculously delicious!”

  They ate in silence for a few moments, completely engrossed in how satisfying and delicious the food was.

  Finally, far enough into the meal that she could relax and chat as she ate, Lauren said, “Oh, and by the way, I loved going through your place. It's gorgeous, but you know that. The standouts were the photos, though. Did you take those? You really have an eye.”

  Ben smiled, “I took a lot of them. A good number of them pre-date my skills with the camera, though.”

  Lauren smiled, a little sadly, “The family cook, the family photographer...why do I get the feeling those are just the tip of the iceberg?”

  Ben shrugged, “Hey, it wasn't an easy life, but it certainly wasn't the worst it could have been.”

  “What was it like?” Lauren said, placing her hand on his and squeezing, “Tell me.”

  Ben looked thoughtful, “Well, I never knew my Dad. He was gone early on.”

  “Why? What happened?”

  “Don't know. Mom would never say, just that he was gone, and not coming back. I stopped asking after I was mainly taking care of Bri, because I was just too busy and it didn't seem to matter that much anymore.

  “But, I'm skipping ahead. When I was 9, Mom got remarried. When I was 10, she had Brianna. When I was 11, she diagnosed with lupus. I know it seems like I should be able to say 'When I was 12, Brianna's Dad split' because it would have such a nice symmetry in the retelling, but the truth is, he was gone long before that. The way I remember it, he lit out pretty much the day after her diagnosis.”

  “I'm sorry,” said Lauren sympathetically.

  “Oh, God, don't be!” said Ben, horrified, “I mean, it must have been really hard on my Mom, but I was glad he left. He was an asshole. Well, as you can probably gather based on the fact that he left his sick wife and infant daughter in the care of an eleven-year-old.

  “I can see that now, as an adult, how inappropriate that was. But at the time, I don't know how to explain it, I didn't feel like a kid. I didn't feel like, 'oh no, I'm only eleven, how will I ever take care of my Mom and sister all by myself?'

  “It was more like...'OK, awesome, that shiftless blowhard is out of the way, he only made things more difficult. Now I can get down to the business of taking care of my Mom and sister.”

  “And you've been doing it ever since.”

  Ben nodded, “Yep. Ever since.”

  “What did you do for money? Was your Mom on disability?”

  Ben gave a curt nod, “Some. The rest I filled in with three paper routes, a small landscaping business...even some babysitting. Odd jobs. Whatever anyone pay me to do.

  “When I was 12, I got a gig delivering food for some local restaurants. It was good money, they paid under the table, and I got tips, as well.

  “By the time I was 16 and got my license, I was making more deliveries and more tips, which was just as well, because the disability checks ran out. It became clear after just a couple of months that part time money, even with tips, was not gonna cut it. So I quit school, got my GED, and got a decent paying job at one of the grocery stores that I had been making deliveries for. It was just a small local chain, but it was a union shop, so the salary and benefits were good. Also, my manager liked me and helped me work it around so my sister could be on my insurance. Honestly, I thought I'd work there until I retired.

  “Well, imagine my surprise when the chain went out of business about a month after my 18th birthday. I panicked. All I could see was my family's future, in the toilet, because they'd had the bad judgment to depend on me. I was only 18, remember – I didn't have much perspective yet, or much experience rolling with career punches. As freaked out as I was then, it seems odd to look back on it now and see it as the most fortunate thing that ever happened to me.

  “My manager's brother in law was able to get him an 'in' selling Kirby vacuum cleaners door to door, and he offered to see if he could get me on, as well. Man! I hated that job with a passion, but I realized before very long that I was good with people and great at sales. One of the doors I knocked on was a real estate broker who saw my potential, and the rest is history.”

  Lauren was so impressed by Ben that she wasn't even quite sure how to put her sentiments into words. Somehow, though, she sensed that he wouldn't appreciate her making a big fuss over his story, so she decided to just squeeze his hand supportively, give him a proud smile, and move on from there.

  She changed the subject to one that he seemed much more eager to discuss – Brianna, the little sister that he was so obviously crazy about and proud of, in equal measures.

  Chapter Eighteen

  To lighten the heavy mood that had been created, Lauren kept Ben telling funny stories about Brianna as a child until they had finished eating.

  As they were rinsing their plates, Lauren laughed.

  “What?” Ben inquired, amused.

  “You know,” she said, “I actually saw you go into your hotel room with her in Palm Springs, before I knew she was your sister. Oh, man, was I mad! I was spitting nails!”

  “Yeah, I can imagine,” Ben said lightly, but she could hear the shift in his tone – this was a forced lightness.

  “Really?” she asked him, exploring.

  “Oh, sure. I mean, it must have felt like when you see someone...oh, I don't know...kiss a cop, for instance.” he said, not meeting her eyes.

  She looked at him carefully. “Eric is just a friend,” she assured him.

  Ben shrugged, “You don't owe me an explanation.”

  Lauren put down the plate she was holding, reached up to the faucet and turned off the water, and then took the plate that Ben was holding out of his hands and set it down, as well.

  “Listen to me,” she said resolutely, turning him to face her, “Eric is just a friend. I promise you. We kissed at the dance, briefly, just to see if anything was there. There wasn't. End of story.”

  “Nothing?” he asked, still looking worried.

  “I give you my word, from the bottom of my heart, I felt NOTHING when I kissed him.”

  Ben smiled, eyes glinting. “Do you feel anything when you kiss me?”

&nbs
p; Lauren let a languorous smile grow on her lips.

  “I'm not sure,” she said in a low, husky tone, “Maybe we'd better do a test and find out.”

  “Like an experiment.”

  “Oh, yes, purely for scientific purposes.”

  Ben grinned wider, “Well, if it's for science...” he said, and lowered his lips onto hers, kissing her gently, slipping his arms around her.

  She felt something, alright. But it wasn't the sparks and fireworks that she was used to feeling when Ben kissed her or touched her. This was a slow, deliberate warming that rose up from deep in her belly and spread slowly and inexorably outward, all the way to her fingertips.

  This felt like lying in the sun, basking in your bathing suit, on the first day after school let out – feeling that lush warmth on every inch of your skin, while inside you thrill to the knowledge that before you lies an entire summer of uncharted days, filled with nothing but endless possibility.

  Lauren felt that same place inside her opening up again, a place that she had not been in touch with since she was a child. A place that recognized magic in the world, and the idea that something could happen in an instant that would turn your life on a dime. The place that was in touch with all of the bounty that the universe had to offer, and with the sly playfulness with which it usually offered it.

  The place that recognized joy and abundance, and accepted it without suspicion.

  Without realizing what she was going to do, or really sure why she did, Lauren threw her head back and laughed. It was a full, robust laugh, full of every bit of giddiness and playfulness she was feeling, and every bit of contentment and bliss.

  Ben stroked her hair, watching her with affection clearly visible in his face.

  “Should I be offended?” he asked, his voice lightly playful.

  She looked into his eyes, hands on the sides of his face, and her own eyes misted over for a moment.

  “I'm just happy,” she said simply, sliding her hands back into his thick, magnificent hair and leaning up to kiss him again, harder this time.

  Ben slid his hands around her waist and squeezed, holding her tight and making her feel tiny when engulfed in his strong hands.