The Case of the Green Guinea Pig

by Nancy Krulik

  Jack Gets a Clue

  The Case of the

  Green Guinea Pig

  BY NANCY KRULIK,

  ILLUSTRATED BY GARY LaCOSTE

  For the ever-mysterious Danny B.

  CONTENTS

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Preview

  About the Author

  Copyright

  Chapter 1

  Tick. Tick. Tick.

  I knew I shouldn’t be looking at the clock that hung on the classroom wall. My teacher, Mrs. Sloane, really hates when her students watch the clock.

  But I couldn’t help it. It was three minutes to three. In just one hundred and eighty seconds, I would be free!

  “Jack, I’m over here, not hanging above the door. Please pay attention.”

  Darn. Mrs. Sloane had caught me.

  “Now, don’t forget to return your permission slips by Wednesday,” my teacher reminded us. “Otherwise you won’t be able to go on the upper-school apple-picking trip this Friday afternoon.”

  Now that was worth paying attention to. The upper-school apple-picking trip was a special field trip just for the third, fourth, and fifth graders. This was the first year my friends and I were old enough to go. I couldn’t wait.

  Rrrriiinnnngggg! Woohoo! There it was: the final bell! School was out for the day. I shoved my permission slip in my backpack and hurried for the door.

  “Jack, you want to sleep over after the field trip?” my best friend, Leo, asked me.

  “Definitely,” I answered. “Maybe your mom will make chocolate-chip pancakes again.” I love Leo’s mom’s chocolate-chip pancakes. My mom doesn’t think chocolate is a breakfast food.

  There was only one kid in our class who didn’t seem excited to go apple picking. Charlie looked miserable as we all filed out into the hallway. His eyes were watery, and he kept wiping his drippy nose with this crinkled, wet tissue he kept in his pocket.

  “I hate being around trees,” Charlie said. “They make me sneeze.”

  “Everything makes you sneeze, Snotman,” Trevor the Terrible said. He’s the meanest kid in the third grade.

  Charlie’s watery eyes got even more watery. I could tell he hated Trevor’s nickname for him. Who wouldn’t?

  “Aachoo!” Charlie sneezed.

  “See?” Trevor said. “More snot.”

  “You make plenty of snot, too,” Elizabeth Morrison told Trevor.

  Trevor shoved his nose at her. “No way! You see any boogers hanging out here?”

  “Everybody makes boogers,” Elizabeth told him. “The average human nose makes about a quart of snot every day.”

  “How do you know that?” Trevor asked her.

  “I read it in a science book,” Elizabeth explained.

  “Who reads science books for fun?” Trevor wondered out loud.

  Elizabeth, that’s who, I thought. She’s the school Brainiac, after all. I was really impressed that Elizabeth was brave enough to stand up to Trevor. He was the biggest, meanest kid in the third grade. You got the feeling he could squash you like a bug if he wanted to.

  But Elizabeth just stood there staring back at him. I could tell she was a little nervous, though, by the way she was playing with one of the red, wormy curls that dangled around her head.

  I know a lot about Elizabeth. She’s my partner in our detective business. We solve mysteries together. Elizabeth is a good partner to have because she’s supersmart, and she’s brave enough to stand up to anyone — even Trevor the Terrible.

  Trevor was about to say something to Elizabeth, but he was stopped by a fifth grader wearing a bright-orange school safety sash across her chest.

  “Keep it moving,” she said.

  “You’re so bossy, Maxine,” Trevor said.

  I rolled my eyes. Trevor was pretty bossy himself.

  “It’s my job to keep the halls safe,” Maxine told Trevor. “That’s what fifth-grade school safeties do.” She turned suddenly as she spotted three fourth graders running past her. “No running in the halls!” Maxine called after them.

  But they ignored her — all except the one kid who turned around and stuck his tongue out.

  “I’m going to report you,” Maxine shouted. ”You can’t just ignore a safety!”

  Actually, they could. In fact, that’s exactly what they were doing.

  “What are you staring at?” Maxine snapped at Trevor, Leo, Elizabeth, and me. “Don’t you have a bus to catch?”

  She didn’t have to ask twice. Maxine was obviously in the mood to report somebody for something. And I sure didn’t want that somebody to be me.

  My five-year-old sister, Mia, was sitting on the lawn outside my house when I got off the bus. Mia’s in half-day kindergarten, so she gets home way before I do.

  “You want to play house?” Mia asked as I walked up the driveway.

  Oh yeah. Like that was ever going to happen.

  I thought about ignoring her, the way those fourth graders had ignored Maxine. But Mia would just tell my mom I was being mean. That was her way of “reporting,” which is pretty much the same as tattling. So I said, “Not today. I’ve got stuff to do.”

  Suddenly, I heard a voice yell out, “Hey, Big Head! Look out below!”

  I looked up to see two squirrels — one with buck teeth, and the other with a bite taken out of his ear — sitting on a branch in the oak tree. The squirrel with the bite mark threw an acorn right toward me.

  His aim was pretty lousy. Instead of heading for me, the acorn was making a beeline straight for Mia.

  “Watch out!” I shouted. I pushed her out of the way.

  Bam! Mia landed right on her rear end. “Hey! What was that for?” she shouted.

  Plop. The acorn landed on the ground about two inches from Mia’s head.

  Mia scrambled to her feet and started running to the house. “Mommy!” she shouted. “Jack pushed me for no reason!”

  That was not true. I did have a reason to push Mia out of the way of that incoming acorn. A really good reason.

  Chapter 2

  It all started one day when I was taking my dog, Scout, out for a walk in the yard. Those same two squirrels were doing some target practice with acorns. Unfortunately, the target they were aiming for was my head. And unlike today, Zippy — that’s the one with the bite taken out of his ear — got me good.

  Ordinarily, the only thing an acorn bash to the head would have left me with would have been a lump. But the oak tree in my front yard is a magic tree. Seriously. If a human gets hit with an acorn from that tree, he gets special powers — like being able to talk to animals.

  A magic tree? I didn’t believe it at first, either. But Zippy and Zappy, the two squirrels who live in the tree, told me. And once I realized I could understand two squirrels, I figured there was something to their story about the magic tree. Ever since that day, I’ve been able to talk to Zippy, Zappy, my dog Scout, and all the other animals in the neighborhood.

  That was why I had pushed Mia out of the way. I didn’t know what kind of special ability she might wind up with if she got bonked on the head with an acorn. All I knew was the last thing I needed was for Mia the Pain to get her own superpower.

  “You’re home! You’re home!”

  I didn’t have time to wonder about what my mom was going to sa
y about me pushing Mia, because at just that second, Scout came bounding out of the house.

  “Wanna play fetch?” he barked at me. “Get a ball! Get a ball!”

  “In a minute,” I said. “First I’ve gotta go inside and give Mom this permission slip before I forget.”

  “Permission?” Scout asked. “Permission for what?

  “To go apple picking,” I told him.

  “Ohhhh! Apple picking,” Scout said. “I wanna go apple picking. I’ve always wanted to go apple picking.” He stopped for a minute. “What’s apple picking?”

  I laughed. “You’re such a dope,” I teased, scratching his chin.

  “You can say that again,” a soft voice purred behind me. I turned around to see Shadow, the gray cat from next door, slinking toward us. “Dogs are very dopey.”

  “Oh yeah?” Scout said. His ears flattened against his head and his tail dropped. “If you’re so smart, why don’t you tell us what apple picking is?”

  Shadow gently licked one of her paws. “Simple. Apple picking is something humans do that I have absolutely no interest in.”

  “That’s a dopey answer,” Scout said. “You must be the dope around here.”

  Shadow arched her spine and puffed up the fur on her back. I could tell she was ready for a fight. “You’ll be sorry you said that, drool for brains,” she hissed.

  “Hey, Scout, y’all wanna play?” Just then a beagle puppy with a black heart-shaped spot on her back came bounding over. Her long white tail was wagging happily behind her.

  “Josie’s here!” Scout cheered. His tail started to wag, too.

  “Hey there, Scout,” Josie said in her soft Southern drawl.

  Josie is our neighbor’s new puppy. She’s from a rescue group in Arkansas, so she sounds a little different than the other dogs, at least to me. I’m pretty sure most people don’t realize her bark has a Southern accent.

  “Oh great,” Shadow sneered. “Just what we need around here — another bone-eating bonehead.”

  “Watch it, mouse breath!” Josie growled at her.

  “Who are you calling mouse breath?” Shadow hissed back.

  “Well, if the fur ball fits —” Josie began.

  Shadow hissed again and showed her claws.

  “Oh my,” Josie drawled. “You have kitty litter under your nails!”

  “At least I use a litter box,” Shadow told her. “You pee on the sidewalk. Now that’s gross.”

  “Y’all are gonna be sorry you said that,” Josie growled.

  Uh-oh. Josie’s tail had just dropped. She wasn’t kidding about making Shadow sorry for what she’d said.

  “Shadow, maybe you should go,” I told her.

  Shadow sighed and licked her paw slowly. “I’m not worried. Her bark is worse than her bite.”

  “Wanna bet?” Josie barked.

  Shadow hissed and then leaped up and landed on a low branch of the oak tree. “I’ll have a better view from up here,” she told me.

  That didn’t make the squirrels happy.

  “Get out of our tree!” Zippy and Zappy shouted at the same time.

  “Come on down and fight fair, Shadow,” Scout yelped.

  “You asked for it!” Shadow leaped down and landed on Scout’s back.

  “Scat, cat!” Scout shouted. He turned his head and tried to shoo Shadow off his back. But Shadow held on tight.

  “Scat!” Scout yelled again. He reached his head back, opened his mouth, and took a big bite.

  “Yooowwwww!” Scout yelped. “I bit my tail.”

  Shadow laughed. “Who’s got the fur ball now?” she purred happily.

  “Get off of him,” Josie barked. She rushed over to help Scout.

  Shadow leaped off Scout’s back and out of the way, but Josie was going too fast to stop. She plowed into Scout and knocked him over.

  Scout reached out his paws and the dogs started wrestling. I figured they were just playing. But that’s not how the other animals saw it.

  “Dog fight! Dog fight!” Zippy and Zappy cheered.

  “This is more fun than TV,” Shadow purred happily.

  Zappy started cheering. “Scout, Scout, he’s our man! If he can’t beat her, no one can!”

  “Josie, Josie, beat that Scout! Hit his head, hit his mouth!” Zippy cheered.

  “That doesn’t rhyme,” Zappy told Zippy.

  Zappy threw an acorn at Zippy. But he missed, and hit Shadow on the rear end.

  “Rodents!” Shadow hissed angrily.

  “Target practice!” Zippy and Zappy exclaimed. They started pelting acorns at Shadow, Scout, and Josie.

  I’d had enough, so I headed back toward my house. Between the hissing cat, the barking dogs, the chattering squirrels, and the flying acorns, there was definitely trouble brewing out here. I was probably already in trouble with my mom for pushing Mia. I had a feeling that was enough trouble for one day.

  Chapter 3

  “How come you couldn’t talk on the phone last night?” Leo asked me as we got off the bus and headed toward the school the next morning. “Mia,” I said simply.

  I didn’t have to give him any other explanation. Leo was my best friend. He knew what a tattletaling pain-in-the-neck my sister could be. It didn’t really matter what I’d done.

  “Did you bring your permission slip?” he asked.

  “Definitely,” I said as I opened the school door.

  “Hey, what’s going on here?” Leo asked as we walked into the school lobby. A huge crowd of kids had gathered around Principal Bumble’s office.

  “Out of the way. Move it.” I heard Maxine’s voice coming up behind me. “Move! Safety coming through.” She shoved Leo and me to the side and pushed her way to the front of the crowd.

  When the kids moved aside for Maxine, I got to see what had happened.

  Boy, what a mess!

  Someone had toilet-papered Principal Bumble’s office. There was paper everywhere — over the lights, around her chair, covering her desk, circling her lamp, dumped over her coat rack, and even wrapped around the giant rubber-band ball she keeps next to her computer. It was like it was Halloween, and this was the trick, not the treat.

  “Who did this?” Principal Bumble asked. She didn’t sound happy.

  We all looked around to see if anyone was going to admit to the prank. But no one said anything.

  “I’ll get to the bottom of it,” Maxine promised Principal Bumble. “After all, that’s what school safeties do.” She pointed to her bright-orange safety sash. Then she turned to the crowd of kids. “That’s all, show’s over,” Maxine said. “Everyone get to class. There’s nothing left to see.”

  Maxine was right. Looking at a toilet-papered office is only interesting for a minute. Besides, I didn’t want to be late getting to my classroom. Mrs. Sloane really hates when kids are late. So Leo and I started down the hallway with the rest of the kids.

  “Do you have a special baseball T-shirt for apple picking yet?” Leo asked me.

  I knew what he meant. I have special T-shirts for everything. Like the one I was wearing today — my Tampa Bay Rays shirt. It brings me good luck on social studies quizzes. Last time I wore it I got a B plus.

  “Not yet,” I told Leo. “I’m thinking maybe my Westside Little League shirt would be good, though. That’s the one I was wearing when I caught the game-winning ball last season.”

  “AAAAHHHH!”

  Leo and I were about halfway down the hall when we suddenly heard a loud scream. It was coming from a room at the end of the hall.

  I turned around and saw Nurse Kauffman standing in the doorway of the first-aid room. She was covered in white confetti.

  We all started laughing. She looked like an abominable snow nurse.

  Principal Bumble hurried over to the first-aid room. “What happened here?” she asked.

  “Someone put a bucket of confetti up there.” Nurse Kauffman spit a piece of white confetti out of her mouth and pointed to the top of her door frame. “When I opened
the door, the bucket tipped over, and it all poured down on me.” She looked down at the floor. “What a mess. I’ll have to call Mr. Broomfield to clean up. He’s not going to be happy.”

  I knew what Nurse Kauffman meant. Mr. Broomfield was the school janitor. He was a big grump on a good day. The extra work cleaning up the principal’s office and now the first-aid room would make him even more miserable.

  Principal Bumble headed back to her office. A moment later, we all heard her voice ring out over the PA system.

  “It seems we have a prankster in our school today,” Principal Bumble said. “I fully expect the person responsible for the pranks to stop immediately. We can’t have someone running around playing tricks in school. If this continues, I will be forced to cancel the upper-school apple-picking trip. If I can’t trust you to behave here at school, how can I trust you to behave at the apple orchard?”

  Cancel the field trip? No way! Sure, the pranks had been kind of funny. But no one was laughing now.

  Chapter 4

  “Are you ready for the social studies quiz?” Elizabeth asked me as I sat down at my desk a few minutes later.

  I pointed to my Tampa Bay Rays baseball shirt. “I’ve got all I need right here,” I said.

  Leo turned to the desk behind his. “How can you talk about social studies at a time like this?” he asked Elizabeth.

  “A time like what?” she replied.

  Leo looked at Elizabeth like she had three heads. “Didn’t you hear what Principal Bumble said?” he asked her. “She’s going to cancel the field trip if the person pulling the pranks doesn’t stop.”

  “Oh that,” Elizabeth said.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. That was such a Brainiac thing to say. Only Elizabeth would be more focused on a quiz than the field trip.

  “Yeah, that,” Leo said. “Somebody has to figure out who’s doing the pranking and make it stop.”

  “I thought Maxine was going to do that,” I said.

  “Maxine?” Leo made a face. “She can’t even get kids to stop running in the halls. But you guys can solve a mystery. You’ve done it before.”