Crossroads
Page 16
She yawned and carefully pulled a tissue from the nightstand to wipe away her red lipstick. She realized she’d practically forced the only kiss they’d shared this morning. She never wore full red lipstick; maybe he hated it.
What she wore today had been her best. She was fretting over a man’s desire for her and felt a little pathetic about it. As Persephone dwelled on Vanya’s rejection – a first for her – she fell into a place she hadn’t been since high school. She was suddenly afraid that she wasn’t pretty, certainly not as beautiful as Vanya had stated earlier. He’d never been so cold. Angry? Yes. But he’d never been cold. Was he just humoring her because she wore the necklace he’d bought her?
Her confidence wounded, Persephone dabbed at the single tear making its way past her nose. Unconsciously, she sniffed. She clutched the tissue to her chest and let out a deep sigh.
“Babe?” Vanya’s voice rumbled behind her. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said lightly. “My allergies are out of wack today. Go back to sleep, sleepyhead.”
He rose and moved away from her to switch on his bedside lamp. Although it was nearly noon, the drapes in Vanya’s bedroom prevented any sunlight from peeking through the windows. He faced the lampshade toward the bed, rubbed his eyes, and placed Persephone on her back. She stared up at him and fought to remain impassive as he hovered over her.
Vanya carefully scrutinized her features as he pushed her hair away from her face. It was a mess since she hadn’t bothered to tie it up. He simply looked down at her for what seemed like an eternity. His face gave nothing away until he voiced his displeasure.
“Something is wrong. Tell me.” It wasn’t a question this time. The demanding Vanya she knew was back in full force.
“I just need some antihistamines,” Persephone tried again. She attempted to rise up and place her tissue on the nightstand, but Vanya halted her movements. He snatched it from her hand, threw it to the nightstand, and tenderly restrained her wrists.
“I’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s wrong.”
Persephone gave him an unbelieving frown and he mocked it while maintaining his hold. A battle of wills began and after a minute of staring into his face, she tried to release herself from his grasp. Vanya held her down with ease; he almost looked bored.
“Tell me!” he demanded.
“Well, it’s just stupid now,” she snipped and looked away from him.
“Then just tell me.”
“You know, I can go to sleep like this.”
“No, you can’t.”
“Yes, I can.” Persephone squirmed under him until she achieved a slightly more comfortable position. She kept her head turned from Vanya and closed her eyes. She could feel his irritated breath puff against her cheek.
“This is dumb, Percy.”
“I already said that.”
Her eyes stayed closed and there was no movement in the bed for several seconds. She thought she had won when his grip loosened. However, she only got to savor victory for a moment before she realized his fingers were intertwining with her own. Her breath caught at the feel of his lips against her neck.
“Just tell me, please.”
The pleading in Vanya’s voice brought back an air of seriousness to the room. His words weren’t a demand or a seduction; they were an earnest request. She let go of the breath she was holding and turned her head to place her lips against his.
“I got all dressed up and you were kind of cold and you wouldn’t kiss me or… or take me. You’ve never done that to me. I mean, treat me the way you treat people you don’t know or don’t like. I’m just bummed about it. And you can’t tell me you’re tired. I know you’re not, so what is it? You wanted it before I came up here. Did you not like it?”
Vanya reared up and took her face in his hands. He looked at her with intense concern and Persephone was reminded of someone trying to comfort a child. It heartened and embarrassed her at the same time.
“Percy, of course I liked it. Fuck, I loved it. I’ve been hard for you two days straight! You look so fucking sexy today.”
“Then what’s going on?”
He sat up, allowing her to sit up as well. Persephone pulled the sheet up to cover her bare breasts and watched Vanya run his hand through his blond hair. She could tell he was searching for a carefully worded answer.
“I was mad at you. Frankly, I still am. I didn’t want to fuck and forget this time, and I didn’t feel like talking about it then.”
“You’re mad at me?!” Persephone asked, taken by surprise.
“Yes!”
“Why?”
“Gee, I don’t know. I run you a bath, you finally tell me you love me, I stand up to my father for us, and then you run out on me. I had to beg you to come back from Finn’s of all places!”
Persephone raised a hand in objection. She couldn’t believe he was upset with her! “First of all, you did not beg me. You sent me a text; a text demanding that I come over. And Finn is my best friend. Girls hang out with their best friends.”
“You know how I feel about her,” he bristled.
“Vanya, I thought we were over that. I can’t not have good friends other than you. It’s just not going to work that way.”
“She wants to fuck you!”
“No, she doesn’t! Not anymore. Besides, I’m not bi! It’s not like there was ever a chance of something happening. It was a crush. It’s over, and she’s obviously moved on. I confronted her about it and we’re cool.”
“Then you should have told me that you confronted her. I mean, think about this. How am I supposed to feel after we have this big breakthrough and then my dad randomly shows up and you avoid me for days? Of course I’m mad.”
“I didn’t avoid you for days! I just wanted one night to gather my thoughts after a crazy day and it just so happened that you had to go to the city the next day – which I never complain about by the way.”
Vanya blew out a breath and his broad chest heaved. Persephone knew he was trying to maintain his reasonable, collected exterior. It was for that reason alone she kept her more smartass comments to herself.
“Look, Vanya, we just started a serious relationship, and there’s all this crazy emotion and wanting and yearning and lust and shit, and we have to be prepared for that to wane as we get completely comfortable with each other. I don’t want to lose you because we suddenly ‘lost that lovin’ feeling’ or whatever. It’s okay to spend a day apart. I mean, we have to be practical about this.”
“Do we?”
“What?”
“I’ve never felt like this about anyone else. Why is it so easy to be in love with you if this isn’t supposed to be? I think about it all the time. I’ve dated a lot of women and some of them tried to make me fall in love with them. I wasn’t biting. I didn’t want to. But then you come along and completely destroy me. You’re different. I feel things I didn’t think would ever be possible until I met you. Fuck, Percy, life is short! Why not give in to it? Why not give it everything we have?”
“Because we have to be careful! We’re going so fast! I’m doing things I have never ever done!”
“Like what?”
“Jesus, I don’t know. Kinky sex, wearing a thong – oh, my god, wearing a thong! Which is so incredibly bad for your vaginal health and that I’m pretty much against! Telling you ‘I love you.’ I didn’t even tell my dad ‘I love you.’ We didn’t hug or anything. Just my mom, and rarely even then. We didn’t say that in my house. It’s really serious.”
Vanya rolled his eyes at the thong comment and then took pause at the ‘I love you’ statement. For a few moments Persephone was afraid he wouldn’t have an answer for her. He looked at the ceiling and sighed before facing her directly.
“I didn’t know that… about your dad.”
“Yeah, well, he was just lame. I was, too, I guess. I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about him right now.” There was a lapse and she could tell he wanted to say something.
Instead of pushing for it, she waited.
“Percy,” Vanya began slowly, “It took a lot for me to defy my father and I needed you to be there when I got home. I told you to stay here and you agreed. I needed to know where you were and I needed you with me. I love you and I needed you on so many levels and you were gone. I was going through the worst that afternoon wondering where the hell you were. And I’m only just realizing that you did not understand that at all.”
Persephone grabbed his shoulder. “I didn’t know and I’m sorry. I didn’t see it that way at all.”
“Then how did you see it?” Vanya remained still and tense under her hand.
“I saw it like I always see it, I guess. You charging forward fearlessly and leaving me to catch up.”
“What does that even mean?”
“It means you always take a big step without asking me first. You came inside me without asking first. You declared me your girlfriend in front of a bunch of people without asking first. Then you tell me you love me while we’re having sex. I had no idea if you were just saying stuff until the next morning. Now you’re exposing me to your dad without even talking to me first. I feel like I’m always running after your decision making.”
“I get that those decisions are rash, but hasn’t each one brought us closer?”
“Yeah, but I have no notice. I have to catch up to each one of those decisions and then I need time to get on the same page. It’s like, ‘Oh, this is what we’re doing now? Okay, okay, I want that too.’ If you don’t spell it out, it’s hard for me.”
Vanya’s shoulders fell as he ran his hands over his face. “So, do you love me or were you just playing catch up?”
“No, I love you,” Persephone answered immediately and clutched his arm. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. I love you so much it scares the shit out of me.”
“What?” Vanya moved closer to her. He softened at her profession and took her in his arms. “Baby, I’m not going to let anything happen to you; I swear to god.”
Persephone turned her head into his chest. “No, I’m not worried about that. I’m worried that you’re secretly having fun and you’re going to let me go. You’re going to just not like me and not want to touch me or be around me one day. I feel like I’ll come up short and feel stupid for not realizing that was the way it always was.”
She tried to burrow closer, but he tilted her chin up. Vanya looked down at her with a look that questioned her sanity. He shook his head as he wiped fresh tears from her face.
“Babe, no. I mean everything I say to you. It’s not bullshit. Sure, I’m intense, but I follow through don’t I?”
“Yeah, you always do.”
They sat there caressing one another in silence. It seemed the hard part was over, but Persephone knew they weren’t done. She was sure Vanya was going over what she said, trying to understand her logic and find a synthesis with his own thoughts.
“Okay,” he spoke after a minute or so, “I got tested before I came inside you.”
“How did you know I was clean!? That’s a huge risk even with me on birth control. I could have been completely diseased or something. I let you finger me on our first date like some promiscuous diva. It wasn’t even a real date. It was a study date!”
Vanya scoffed. “It was a real date and I knew you were clean. It was a risk, but I know you’re a good girl at heart. I knew you didn’t do stuff like that a lot. You were so sweet and nervous and pure.” He tickled her and they lay down on their sides, bursting into laughter.
“That is a misconception you have about me.”
“No it isn’t. How long had it been since you were with someone before we had sex?”
“The library or sex sex?”
“Sex sex. Not that there was anyone in between anyway.”
“Oh, my god, you are so cocky! Mr. ‘I’ve had women try to make me love them.’ Oh my goodness gracious.” She laughed and shook her head at him.
“If it makes you feel any better, I’ll have you know there was no one for me in between either.”
“Well, what about before?”
“I asked first.”
“I asked second.”
Vanya rolled his eyes. “Seven months.”
“Hmm, I guess it was my junior year of college. That was four years before I met you.”
“Damn, there’s no way I could that long.”
“Meh, I busy with other things, and I had a great vibrator.”
“Do you ever feel like you were waiting on me?”
“Like how?”
“That’s how I feel about you. I was so sick of doing what I was doing. When I met you I tried to resist liking you, but soon after that I didn’t have any reservations. Things just got clearer and more meaningful after we got together. You’re my first steady girlfriend since high school and you’re the only woman I’ve ever come inside of. I knew you weren’t getting pregnant and it was my way of showing you how much I cared about you before I could tell you I love you. I knew you’d have freaked out if I had said it then. So, by the time I said it when we were in Texas, I was already bursting at the seams to get it out.
“I admit now that it was fucked up and I should have talked about both of those things outside of bed or the shower or whatever. As for me exposing you to my father, that was pretty much inevitable. I mean, you said yourself you weren’t going to hide in the back.”
Persephone interjected, “You could have said I was a study partner from school or something.”
“Oh, please! It’s Winter Break, you were wearing my house shoes, and we didn’t have any books out. Besides, anyone can tell what we are just by looking at us.”
“Nuh uh!”
“Yes huh; my sister called it. Mikhail called it. Hell, our driver even called it. I’m supposed to be known for not giving anything away in negotiations. I suppose it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Papa already knew everything about you.”
“What do you mean ‘knew everything about’ me?” Persephone shifted and tensed up. There were things she didn’t want anyone to know about her. The thought of Kirill Pravdin or his employees snooping through her personal history made her stomach squelch.
“Percy, relax. It was just a really basic background check. You were born and raised in Texas, your dad was a SEAL, your mom worked for the State Department, stuff like that. There’s no one following you around or anything.”
“Hmph, that’s a good thing for them then.”
“Yeah! There’s my tough girl,” Vanya grinned widely. “Feel better?”
“Yep. Do you?”
“Yeah, I do… you know there are a lot things that could tear us apart, right?”
“Geez, that was morbid.”
“But it’s true. My father told me he wanted me to let you go by the time we graduate. It’s complete bullshit. I’m not doing it and I’m not going to let anything come between us. Let’s promise to be more upfront. I’ll try not to do anything big without telling you first and I won’t withhold sex when I’m mad and you can’t run away when you’re scared or freaking out. You have to let me in your head and tell me how you feel about me.”
“Let’s not promise; let’s just do it.”
“What is it with you and promises?”
“Your word should be your word. I’m not going to pull away from you anymore if I can help it. I love you, more than anything else.”
Persephone was overcome by the gravity of her own words and the urge to have Vanya at last. It was all she could do not to maul him. She flipped, straddling him when she landed. Repeating the phrase ‘more than anything’ she pushed his length inside her and began to rock back and forth.
“Percy,” Vanya hissed when she had taken as much of his cock as she could. His large hands gripped her thick ass and he shuddered as she picked up her pace. Still slick from wanting him all morning, she started to lose control as she worked to make Vanya come. She growled and moaned in desperation and began to ride him hard.
“Wait, I want to get you off,” she panted, trying to cling to his torso as he rearranged her underneath him. He ignored her protests and pushed her down. Spreading her legs, his mouth dove to her pussy, changing her objections into pleas.
“Fuck, Vanya. Lick my cunt. Yeah, right there, baby, eat it. Eat your little pussy!” Each time she thought she would reach her climax he stopped. Persephone grunted his name in frustration, but smiled in spite of herself.
Vanya grinned at her slyly and rose to sit on his haunches. He kept a smug stare on her as he stroked his cock. He was truly a sight to behold and Persephone couldn’t help but pinch her nipples and undulate her hips as she watched him pleasure himself.
“I want you to masturbate for me,” he requested softly. “Touch yourself, sweetpea.”
Persephone was sure it didn’t require that many muscles to jerk one’s penis, but she appreciated all the hard work Vanya was putting into the task. His chest was hard and red with erect nipples. Each muscle in his forearms bulged with his vigorous movements. His cock pointed straight up as tribute to his desire for her. It was more than enough inspiration to help her get off.
Given free reign over her body, she quickly moved from her nipples to her swollen clit. Two fingers held back her labia to expose the little ball of nerves while her other hand’s middle and index fingers smoothed more of her juices over it. Sufficiently slick, Persephone began to rub herself, going faster as her need heightened. In time, her entire body began to writhe. She kept her eyes on Vanya who voiced his encouragement.
“That’s right, sweetpea, rub your little clit. Show me how much you want to get fucked.”
“I want it so much, Vanya,” she simpered under his gaze.
“Doesn’t it feel good? You need more though, don’t you?”