‘You know that we are hoping to have John home this Easter as well?’ Ellie asked cheerfully.
Hettie stared red-faced at the tea she had, out of shock, slopped into one of the saucers.
‘Never mind, love,’ Ellie comforted her, passing her a napkin to mop up the spillage. ‘I imagine you must be tired after that long journey and here I am being selfish and keeping you with me instead of letting you rest. Oh but Hettie, there is so much I want to say to you, so much I want to tell you…’
Again Ellie exchanged a long look with Gideon.
‘Connie is to come over on Monday and if the weather keeps fine we are all to go to Aveham Park so that her little ones can roll their eggs just as she and I and John used to do. Do you remember when we used to take you to roll yours?’
Hettie nodded, emotional tears coming from nowhere to fill her eyes.
‘So many happy memories, Hettie,’ Ellie said quietly, reaching for her hand. ‘I have missed you so much, love, and I am so glad you have come home to us, even if it is only for a short visit. Now,’ Ellie continued briskly, ‘we want to hear all about your life in London, Hettie, and what you are doing.’
‘Well, I am having singing lessons, and Archie, that is the composer, is going to write a new musical with the main female part to be sung by a soprano lyric – that is the correct term for my voice, you see…’ Hettie began earnestly.
TWENTY-FOUR
It amazed Hettie how easy she was finding it to slip back into her old life. After Easter Friday’s traditional fish only meals, and Saturday’s walk to Preston’s busy market with its pot fair bargains, she had attended church with Ellie, Gideon and the rest of the household on Easter Sunday, wearing the new ‘Easter Sunday’ hat she had found waiting for her in her bedroom. It was a gift from Ellie and Gideon that had brought emotional tears to her eyes, even if the hat was rather less fashionable than what she now wore; the kind of hat the girl she had been would have delighted in, rather than one she might have chosen for herself these days.
Now they were all standing outside the church in the bright spring sunshine, having been cornered by Ellie’s formidable neighbour and aunt, along with her doctor husband, their elder daughter Cecily, plus Cecily’s husband and their children.
‘It is such a pity, Ellie dear, that you have not had daughters,’ Hettie overheard Cecily saying gently to Ellie. ‘Especially since you have inherited the best of our family’s famed good looks. My own girls look more like their father than they do me, unfortunately.’
Not wanting to hear any more or to have any shadows thrown over the brightness of the day, Hettie immediately moved away to go and tuck her hand through Gideon’s arm as he smiled down at her.
‘We have all missed you, puss,’ he told her lightly. ‘But most especially your mother. She has informed me now that she will not rest until I have promised to take her to London so that she may see you singing.’
Hettie bit her lip and looked away, all too aware of the complications a visit from Ellie and Gideon could cause, especially if she were obliged to introduce them to Jay.
‘I wouldn’t want you to do anything that might make Mam poorly again,’ she told Gideon.
She could see that he was beginning to frown as though he were about to question her comment, but to her relief, before he could do so, Ellie herself came hurrying over to them, immediately putting her hand on his arm and saying urgently, ‘Gideon, Cecily has been asking me some very particular questions…’
‘Are you saying that you think she has guessed?’ Gideon demanded, their exchange completely baffling Hettie who couldn’t understand what they were discussing. But, sensing that it must be private, she started to move away.
Immediately Ellie stopped her, placing her hand on Hettie’s arm and saying softly, ‘Hettie, love, don’t go. There is something we want to tell you…’ She looked up at Gideon and then back at Hettie. ‘We had meant to wait a little while longer yet, but since Cecily seems to have guessed…’ She looked imploringly at Gideon and then back at Hettie. ‘Love, I am to have another child.’
Hettie stared at her in shock. How could Ellie stand there and smile so happily after what had happened? Hettie looked up at Gideon, but he was looking just as happy as Ellie.
‘But surely,’ Hettie began anxiously and then stopped, unwilling to remind Ellie of how ill she had been. ‘I know what you must be thinking,’ Ellie acknowledged, smiling gently at her. ‘But Iris has assured us that there is no cause for any concern. And indeed she has said that she thinks it a very good thing indeed. To be truthful I was worried at first, Hettie, but I feel different this time. I don’t seem to have the concerns I had with that poor lost baby. I do so hope, though, that this new little one will be a girl.’
‘Yes, I am sure that you must,’ Hettie agreed, her forced smile twisting painfully at her own heart. Of course Ellie desperately wanted to have a daughter. And her happiness was not, as Hettie had so foolishly let herself think, because Hettie had come home but because of the child she was now carrying.
Suddenly she couldn’t wait for the holiday to be over so that she could return to her own life.
As he watched the countryside speed by through the railway carriage window, John noticed not just how the landscape was changing as he travelled north but also how spring itself came later to Lancashire than it did to Oxfordshire.
Here the daffodils were only just opening, and the blackthorn hedges had only the beginnings of unfurling new green leaves, whereas the hedges along the country lanes around the airfield were already densely green and the daffodils were in full flower.
There was, though, something invigorating about the sharpness of northern air, a certain refreshing sharpness that he was already anticipating. And, of course, he would be seeing his family.
He had only decided to make the journey at the last minute, previously having felt, conscientiously, that he should not take any time off, despite what he had told Polly. Because he was afraid that a selfish action on his part could lead to yet another tragedy? He looked out of the window. Would he have either the time or the courage to visit the abandoned airfield whilst he was here? Could he bear to do so?
Why must life contain so much pain? He started to think about Polly, compassion darkening his eyes. She had been very cross with him when he had continued to refuse to join the party she had organised, but John had remained steadfast in his determination not to go to France. He sensed, too, that Polly regretted having confided in him such very shocking and intimate details of her unhappiness. There was certainly a new coolness in her manner towards him, which in many ways caused him to feel relieved. On the other hand, though, he genuinely liked Polly and felt concerned for her.
So much excitement. Hettie had nobly volunteered to keep Connie’s children occupied prior to the whole family setting off for Aveham Park and the fun of rolling the specially prepared hard-boiled eggs down the hill in Preston’s famous Easter Monday egg rolling ceremony.
Afterwards there would be the fair itself to look forward to, plus, if there was time, a trip in a pleasure boat on the River Ribble. With the sun shining, and the large basket of eggs waiting, it was no wonder that Connie’s young children were impatient and getting over excited.
In order to keep them entertained, Hettie had been reading them a story, complete with an imitation of all the necessary animal noises, so that when John walked into Ellie’s drawing room all he could hear was childish giggles and one determined little voice begging, ‘Do the piggie again, Hettie!’
Throwing herself into the spirit of things, Hettie obliged, producing a convincing snuffling sound that sent the children into gales of giddy laughter before she delivered a hearty, ‘Oink oink!’
‘Oink oink to you, too.’ John laughed, unable to resist the tempation to join in.
Immediately the children ran to him, leaving Hettie kneeling on the floor, her face bright red with embarrassment.
No one had confirmed that John was definit
ely coming home, and the last thing she wanted was to have him find her sitting on the floor like a schoolgirl, pretending to be a pig.
‘Oh John, you are here after all,’ Ellie cried as she spotted him and, to Hettie’s relief, within seconds he was surrounded by his sisters and their husbands, leaving her to recover her dignity as best she could.
He looked the same and yet somehow different, Hettie acknowledged, surreptitiously studying him as she dusted down her skirt.
He looked broader somehow, and…and bigger, very much a man now, rather than a boy, Hettie recognised with the benefit of her own growing worldly wisdom. And a very handsome man, too, with good strong features and a firmly chiselled jaw line. The flash of white teeth she caught as he smiled at something someone had said sent a small unexpected quiver of sensation dancing down her spine.
Give over, do, she warned herself sternly. You’re grown up now, and any road, Jay is just as handsome.
‘Hettie, come and say hello to John,’ Ellie urged.
‘Hello, John,’ Hettie responded coolly, firmly keeping her distance.
‘Oh ho, so you can speak, then.’ John laughed, teasing her. ‘I wasn’t sure if you were going to give me a moo moo or a baa baa.’ He was forcing himself to be as light and jovial in spirit as he could, for Ellie’s sake mostly, but it was taking an effort on his part.
Everyone was laughing, and Hettie forced herself to join in although she deliberately kept as much distance as she could between herself and John as they all set out for the park.
‘Now, Connie,’ Gideon teased his sister-in-law as Ellie linked her arm through her husband’s, and Connie linked hers with Ellie’s. ‘No going off to the fairground!’
Connie laughed heartily and shook her head.
‘Ooh, Gideon, do you remember how strict our mother used to be about not letting us do anything that was fun because “she was a Barclay sister”!’ Ellie and Connie said together before dissolving into giggles.
‘I can certainly remember the first time I saw Ellie,’ Gideon responded. ‘It was…’
‘Preston Guild, 1902,’ Ellie announced promptly. ‘Do you remember how John had run off, despite being told he was not to do so, and I went after him and would have been crushed to death by the crowd if you had not rescued me, Gideon?’
‘Aye, but Gideon had seen you before that, hadn’t you, Gideon?’ John laughed, joining in the happy reminiscing.
‘You mean when I walked down Friargate and the three of you were standing in the window over your pa’s shop?’
‘Yes. You were doing some tricks,’ John remembered.
‘Showing off,’ Ellie put in severely, but Hettie could see the happiness in her eyes.
‘And when you called round to see if I was all right, Gideon, Mam was so disapproving because you were working with Da’s brother, droving sheep.’
‘She certainly made it clear that she didn’t think I was good enough for her daughter,’ Gideon agreed ruefully.
‘If she had but known it, the truth was that, in the eyes of the world, I was the one who wasn’t good enough for you, Gideon.’ Ellie sighed, and then added quietly, ‘It’s a Guild year this year, of course, and Gideon was asked to join the main committee, but my ill health prevented him from accepting.’
‘Prevented nothing,’ Gideon contradicted dismissively. ‘We shall be able to enjoy the Guild fun all the better for me not having had ’owt to do with organising it, if you ask me.’
‘That’s enough reminiscing, you two,’ Harry joined in! ‘Let’s go and see if Ellie really is as good at egg rolling as she claims.’
John shook his head and warned his brother-in-law, ‘You won’t win, Harry. Do you remember how she beat you, Gideon?’
Hettie saw the private look that Ellie and Gideon exchanged and wondered what had caused it, not knowing that it had been the tussle that had followed Ellie’s determination to have her egg win the race that had led to hers and Gideon’s first kiss.
They had reached the park and had to make their way through the crowd to get to the top of the hill to join the queue waiting there to roll their eggs.
‘Come on, Hettie,’ Connie’s eldest cried, ‘otherwise you won’t be able to join in.’
Hettie could see John’s mouth twitching with amusement at this innocent inclusion of her in the children’s party, but rather than pout and sulk as the old Hettie would have done Hettie simply tossed her head and ignored his amusement, calling out, ‘I’m coming, but remember the pink egg is mine…’
‘I think I’d better go with you,’ John told her firmly. ‘Remember, I know how you like to cheat at this…’
The words were delivered with a straight face but Hettie could see the laughter in his eyes.
‘Just because I picked up the wrong egg once,’ she protested.
John was laughing openly now. ‘Ah ha, so you do remember? And it was my egg you picked up.’
‘And you let me do it and didn’t give me away,’ Hettie recalled softly, starting to laugh herself.
‘Oh Hettie, I’d forgotten what fun you are,’ John told her impulsively, reaching for her hand and then stopping abruptly as he realised where his own emotions were taking him.
All he had heard all day from Gideon had been a proud father’s boasting about the successful future that now lay ahead of Hettie. There was no room for him in her life now, John acknowledged. He had lost the opportunity he might once have had to pay court to her; the entrancing young woman she had become would quite obviously have any number of eligible young men falling in love with her. She may even be courting someone now for all he knew. He looked away from her, overwhelmed by his own despair, and so missed the anguished look of appeal she was giving him.
The daylight was giving way to dusk when the last eggs rolled. Eyes and tummies contentedly full from the excitement and treats of the afternoon, the whole party made their way back to Winckley Square, the younger members of the family carried there on the shoulders of their fathers and uncles whilst Hettie took her place with the women.
Connie and Harry and their children were spending a few days in Preston with Ellie and Gideon, and with the younger children to be fed and made ready for bed, John excused himself. He had also promised, he told them, to go and see his old friend and mentor, the Preston photographer for whom he had once worked, and with whom he had arranged to stay, prior to returning to Oxfordshire in the morning.
‘Oh John, love, I do so wish you could stay longer,’ Ellie told her younger brother as she kissed him fondly.
‘Yes, John, you haven’t told us anything about Lady Polly,’ Connie twitted him teasingly. ‘And yet you’ve bin full of her in your letters.’
John felt acutely uncomfortable. He knew that Connie meant no harm and was only ribbing him, but the truth was that he had hardly mentioned Polly to her at all, other than to comment on how sad it was that she had lost her fiancé.
So that was why John had dropped her hand so quickly, Hettie realised miserably. She ought to have guessed. After all, she had heard enough about Lady Polly from Connie at Christmas.
No wonder John wasn’t interested in her – a mere singer – if he was mixing with posh titled folk.
‘Bye, John love.’ Connie smiled, going over to kiss him.
‘Hettie,’ Ellie urged, ‘come and say goodbye to John before he leaves.’
‘Goodbye, John,’ Hettie responded stiffly, staying exactly where she was and flashing a too bright and totally false smile in the general direction of where John was standing before returning her attention to Philip.
‘Hettie, love, I have missed you so much and it is lovely to have you here,’ Ellie announced lovingly, reaching for Hettie’s hand as they and Connie sat together in Ellie’s pretty sitting room, waiting for the men to return from an evening stroll to the local public house.
‘I am determined to persuade Gideon to make arrangements for us to come to London and see you in your operetta, though.’
‘Ellie, is th
at wise?’ Connie objected. ‘With this baby due in less than four months. Not that you are showing much yet, I must say.’
‘No, I’m not, am I? I was exactly the same with Richard, the merest bump and then at six months suddenly I was huge. And Connie, for heaven’s sake stop fussing,’ Ellie told her sister firmly.
‘With a railway system that is the envy of the world, Gideon and I can go to London, see Hettie, and be back again without the baby even noticing.’
‘Oh, Ellie, it is so good to see you returned to your old self,’ Connie said emotionally. ‘I do so hope that this baby will be a little girl for you, a daughter, don’t you, Hettie?’
‘Yes. I too hope you will have a daughter of your own,’ Hettie agreed quietly.
‘Boy or girl, he or she will be very welcome,’ Ellie told them both serenely.
‘I am rather tired,’ Hettie fibbed, getting up. ‘If neither of you mind, I think I will go up to bed. My train leaves early in the morning and I do not want to oversleep and miss it.’
She had so many mixed feelings, both happy and painful, Hettie acknowledged as she sat up in her childhood bed, her knees drawn up under her chin and her arms wrapped around her knees.
It had, as Connie had said, been wonderful to see Ellie restored to her old self, and she had had such fun this afternoon with Connie’s children and her step-brothers.
But seeing John had also brought back memories – and aroused not so old emotions. And that had been painful.
In London, busy with her own life, it had been easy to convince herself that her feelings for John didn’t matter. In London, after all, there was Jay and all the heady excitement of everything he wanted to give her. Jay made her feel grown up and desirable, whereas John made her feel like an awkward young girl again.
Hettie of Hope Street Page 27