by Harloe Rae
Everywhere I look is brightly colored or glowing with natural light. This beach is a little slice of heaven, the perfect escape from reality. My body thrums with a peaceful energy that’s purely organic. I could lounge here for hours without getting bored.
Too bad Trey isn’t here to experience this.
I shake my head and shut down those wayward thoughts. He wouldn’t make this trip more special. If anything, he’d be grumbling about missing work or being too far from Garden Grove. The stunning view before me wouldn’t be enough to drag him away.
The waves crash along the shore, echoing in my ears. I gaze out over the restless water, watching the rippling tides. When I talked to Delilah earlier, she mentioned Trey stopping by Jitters. I didn’t pry for details, and she didn’t offer much, but he was there looking for me. I’ve been silently obsessing over that snap judgement all afternoon. If I ask D, she’ll tell me, but I’ll have to listen to some serious gloating first.
I’m not that desperate.
My cell sits on the blanket, far too quiet for my liking. Trey had been blowing up my inbox all day. The last one he sent was hours ago, and the silence is mocking me. My chest tightens when considering the reasons why. Pushing the worry away, I scan through his texts again.
Trey: Hey, you. Ready to answer me yet?
Trey: I take that as a no.
Trey: I’m thinking about you, Princess.
Trey: Hopefully you’re safe.
Trey: Coming back soon?
Trey: Jack says hi.
Trey: I do too.
Trey: It’s not the same without you.
The messages got more bold and suggestive as the day wore on. My lips and spirits lift while reading them.
Trey: Why aren’t you responding?
Trey: Ignoring people isn’t nice, Princess.
Trey: Where the hell are you?
Trey: Just tell me.
Trey: What’re you wearing?
Trey: Nothing?
Trey: You stirring anything? If not, maybe you should be . . .
Trey: The letters are starting to blur together.
Trey: Wish you were here.
Trey: I might be drunk.
He’s left a few voicemails too. They’re short and to the point, but hearing his voice is plenty. Trey’s tone is raspy, bordering on hoarse. I could listen to him asking me, rather nicely, to call back over and over. The words flow over me like melted butter, but the serenity doesn’t last. The fleeting sensation is representative of our . . . fling or whatever.
I feel my shoulders slump with a defeated sigh. I’m unsure what Trey is expecting to happen from his efforts. I should probably find out. This subject seems like something we need to handle in person, though, and I’m not ready to face him. My tears have dried up for a hot minute, and I’d prefer to keep it that way.
I tip my face to the cloudless sky and inhale the damp breeze. Staying here another night sounds like a better idea with each calm breath I take. After lying down, my eyes slide closed, and I allow the tranquil climate to create a lullaby.
As I’m beginning to doze off, my cell starts vibrating. I squint at the unknown number flashing across the screen. It’s a Garden Grove area code so I take a chance and answer.
“Hello?” I question softly.
“Raven?”
I press the phone closer to my ear. “Addy? Is that you?”
“Yeah, hey,” she murmurs.
“Why are you whispering?”
“Oh, I’m at work,” Addy explains. “I can’t talk long, but need to tell you something. Trey is in rough shape. He’s been here for hours with Jack. He’s been drinking all day,” she says in a rush. “Anyway, Trey is blubbering on and on about you.”
Flutters erupt in my stomach. “Um, all right. That’s cool, I guess.” I cough into my fist, trying to pull myself together. “And I needed to know this because . . . ?” My sentence trails off in hopes she’ll fill in the gaps.
Her sigh crackles through the speaker. “You had a falling out, right? I’m not sure what happened, and you don’t have to tell me, but crap is hitting the fan. I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but he’s obviously hurting. Never thought I’d see him this way over a girl.”
My tongue feels like sandpaper as I force a swallow past my dry throat. “Uh, well, it’s over between us. Not that there was ever anything to begin with.”
“What?” she gasps. “No way. I saw you two together all the time. You’re so good for him. And there were serious sparks flying all over town. Girl, plenty was going on.”
I rub my forehead and mumble, “Yeah, I dunno about all that. Whatever we had is done now. That’s why I’m here, instead of there. Needed a little time to myself, you know?”
Addy hums. “I get that, one hundred percent. Boys are dumb as hell sometimes. Especially Trey. I’d say he’s paying for whatever went down, and I’m pretty positive he’s sorry. You’ll have to hear him out one way or another. You know what I mean? He seems pretty set on finding you,” she warns. “Keeps repeating you’re avoiding his messages.”
“I just . . . well, it’s kind of complicated,” I stutter, trying to collect my scattered thoughts. “I don’t know how to respond yet. Everything is a mess that I helped create. Trey hurt me badly.”
Her tone is understanding when she says, “I can only imagine. It’s probably good you’re not here for this. That man is the definition of a sloppy mess, and it’s not getting better. He’s a sad sight and needs to sober up before talking to you. I think Jack took his phone away.”
The clamp around my torso loosens as she gives me the explanation I’ve been desperate for. The lift in my voice is clear when I ask, “He’s missing me?”
“Big time. I’m getting pretty annoyed with him. He’s like a broken record. If Trey’s drunk babbling is any indication, he’s forming a plan to win you over. It’s pretty cute actually.”
She’s tossing me crumbs, like a trail back to him, and I’m struggling to resist. I suck air between my teeth, trapping the slew of questions begging to escape. I squeeze my eyelids shut, settling on a simple one. “Is he okay?”
“I’m not sure, to be honest. I’ve never seen him this way. Jack is no help either. That man was screwed over by his ex, so he’s pouring gasoline on the flames. At least he stopped drinking and switched to water. One of them has to be responsible. Shit,” she spits out. “I spoke too soon. Jack just ordered another round for Trey.”
The phone tightens in my grip. “Do you need to get help?”
“Ugh, probably. Greyson looks pissed. He’ll probably make Jack take him home soon. Maybe I should give Twisted a heads up.”
“I don’t know that place,” I say.
“For good reason. You only stumble in there at the very end of a long night. It’s a tiny dive on the edge of Main and Escrow.”
“You think he’ll go there?”
“Not sure about him in this condition. I’ve never seen him so . . . vulnerable.”
Nausea churns in my belly like the waves crashing in front of me. “Gah, that makes me feel horrible. What the hell should I do?” I ask, biting my lip.
“Nothing. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m doing a shitty job not taking sides, sorry about that. Take care of you. I’ve got Trey handled,” she says.
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
“Good luck with that?” I offer.
Addy laughs. “Thanks, babe. You’re coming back, right? Like, soon?”
“Ah, yeah. I talked to Delilah earlier. I’ll probably be back tomorrow. It’s too serene and pretty here. I can’t leave yet.”
“Oooh, where are you?” she asks, interested.
I glance around the empty beach before looking toward the resort. “Sandbar Shore.”
“That little lake town up north? How’d you choose that spot?”
“A random search,” I confess.
“Those are the best finds. I’ve never been, so take lots of pictures. Please tell
me the moment you’re back.”
I exhale the weight of a brick. “Okay, I will.”
“Don’t sound so excited about it,” she says sarcastically. “You’ll be all right, Raven. We’ll stick together.”
I smile at that. “Thanks, Addy. You’re a good friend.”
“Heck yes. You’re part of us now. No more leaving unless you take us along.”
“Deal. We’ll have to plan a weekend getaway sometime.”
A loud crash on her end has her cursing. “Crap. Shit is going down for real. Gotta go!”
The line goes dead before I can respond. I look at the darkened screen, considering my options. I could rush back to Garden Grove or stick around for another day. Am I being overly dramatic about this? Is Trey struggling more without me there? I gradually blow out all the air trapped inside me. The safest choice is to phone a friend. I scroll through my contacts and tap Delilah’s number.
She answers on the first ring. “Hey, Rave. Calling me on your drive home? That’s sweet.”
I lean back, resting on my elbow. “Sorry to disappoint, I’m still here.”
Delilah’s frown is all over her voice. “Lame. You had my hopes up. I’ve gotten used to having you close—I hate this a lot.”
“Sounds like you’re not the only one,” I say softly.
“Oooh, who’ve you been chatting with? I didn’t spill any dirt earlier.”
“Addison called me. Trey is sloshed at Dagos. Guess he’s been there for a few hours. Jack is with him, at least.”
She puffs out a breath. “I believe it. He wasn’t exactly pleased this morning. I’m sure he’s taking the edge off.”
I wait, biting my tongue before giving in. “Tell me what happened with him at Jitters.”
“Hmm, I’ve been wondering how long it would take you to crack,” she says. “He came in way too early for me to consider being civil, especially when you left without a word. I hadn’t heard from you yet so he got the brunt of my frustration and tried arguing with me—”
“Get to the good stuff,” I interrupt.
Delilah snickers. “Yeah, yeah. Long story short, he wants you back.”
I gasp and lunge upright. “Did he say that?”
“Not exactly, but he made it very obvious in his own way. Such as demanding to know where you are and having a hissy fit when I couldn’t tell him. Have you talked to him?” she asks.
“No, not yet. He tried, but I didn’t answer. Does that make me a chicken shit?”
“Nah, you’re allowed to step away and process alone. You’re not at fault.”
I stretch a kink from my neck. “I’m responsible for my feelings and not bringing that up sooner.”
Delilah makes a noncommittal noise. “Don’t go searching for blame. You both made mistakes. The question is, now what?”
I shrug, then realize she can’t see me. “I’ll be home tomorrow and we’ll see.”
She doesn’t let me off the hook. “What’re you thinking, Rave?”
“I don’t know. Would you give him another chance? I mean, if that’s even a possibility.”
“I’d hear him out,” she states.
“Really?” I arch a brow.
“Does that surprise you?”
I think about it for a second. “Yeah, kinda. I figured you’d be anti-Trey all over again.”
“Meh, you’re too good together. It’s a losing battle.”
I smile. “That’s nice of you to say.”
“You’re rubbing off on me, turning my insides all gooey. It feels weird,” she mutters. “Just what I need—more sugar.”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “I’ll make extra special cupcakes to make the transition easier.”
“Freaking yum,” she says. “So, tomorrow? Promise?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”
“Yay!” she whoops. “All right. Go to sleep and get up early. See you soon.”
“Bye, D,” I say and press end.
I sit out here a moment longer, enjoying the cool breeze against my chilled cheeks. Scooping up a handful of sand, I funnel it between my fingers. A shell stops the flow, its smooth texture slipping against the gritty granules. I dust it off and inspect the distinctive shape. The heart is whole without cracks or divots. My vision blurs while I rub along the edge, suddenly overwhelmed by the symbolism.
Even though my spirit is bruised, everything is going to be just right.
RAMBLE
Trey
THE STOOL WOBBLES under my swaying. Blinking is a chore for my sticky eyelids. Fuck, I’m drunk. When did that happen? Everything in this place is blurry and distorted, including the two people watching me.
“What’s with the stare-down? Do I have something on my face?”
“Just waiting for what’ll come outta your mouth next,” Jack explains.
“Well, knock it off. Your leering is creeping me out.”
“You’re the one spitting truth bombs left and right,” Addy chimes in. “I like Raven and all, but there’s other subjects we can discuss. Oooh, like The Daze. The rooftop at Boomers is gonna be killer.”
My chest tightens in a vice. “I was gonna take Raven there.”
“Oh, Lord. Not again,” Addy mutters.
“Maybe we should go,” Jack suggests and pats my shoulder.
I don’t have the strength to shove him away. A breath sputters from my lips, each movement feeling like a struggle. “Why is it so bright in here?” My words slur together.
Addy huffs. “Probably has something to do with all those beers you’ve had.”
And I’m thirsty for more. “Can I have another?” I point to my empty bottle.
“No way, cowboy. You’ve had plenty,” she replies.
I squint, closing one eye to focus better. “Addy? Since when do you have a twin?”
“Ah, intoxicated Trey has jokes. He should come out more often.”
My tongue is heavy and feels swollen. I cough, trying to alleviate the dryness crawling up my throat. I shift to rest my elbow on the bar but miss, almost toppling over in the process.
“Jesus, kid. You’re a mess. Pull yourself together and have some water.” Jack pushes a full cup toward me.
I grip the cool glass and lift it to my lips. I’m sloppy while guzzling the liquid down, but there’s no one here to impress. The only one who matters is gone. With a forced exhale, I feel my posture deflate.
“Raven isn’t coming back,” I say quietly.
Jack hears me. “She will because Garden Grove is her home now. Stop obsessing.”
“You don’t understand,” I start, but he interrupts.
“The hell I don’t. And we’re not talking in circles again, all right? We already went over this.”
“But I want more with her, and she doesn’t know. How do I win her back?”
“Look,” Jack says and points to the television above the bar. “The game is on. It’s all tied up. Let’s see who wins.”
I’m not listening to him. “I need a grand gesture or something.” I snap my fingers. “I’ll buy her flowers and chocolate and . . . and . . . jewelry. Girls love that shit, right?” My bleary gaze lands on Addy until I get distracted by the empty space around us. “Where the hell did everyone go?”
“It’s Sunday night, Trey. They cleared out hours ago,” she responds. “You’ve been waxing poetic without a huge audience. Be happy no one else will know about this sensitive side unless you piss me off.”
“Well, fuck. I better watch my back. If Marlene catches wind, I’ll be ruined.”
Addy laughs. “You’re a dork. And for the record, your sweet words will be enough for her. That’s what she wants to hear. Don’t worry about the extra stuff.”
“But what if I don’t get a chance to tell her?”
“She’ll probably be back tomorrow.”
I perk up. “What? How do you know?”
Her eyes dance around, not settling on me. “Uh, I’ve gotta start cleaning up. You good here, Jack?”
Addy nods at us and scurries away. Her sudden departure seems odd but what the fuck do I care. I shake my head, liquor sloshing in my brain. “Damn, I’m drunk.”
“Yeah, we’ve established that.”
I turn to Jack. “You’re such a quitter, old man. I totally beat you.”
He peers down his nose at me. “Wanna repeat that?”
“Getting hammered was your grand plan but I’m the only one seeing double. You’ve only had a handful of drinks all day. What the fuck? Just admit it—I win.” I burp into my fist.
Jack slouches against the rail behind him. “Should I get you a trophy? Damn, you’re a riot. I’m being smart and responsible. You’ve got sorrows to drown. This,” he gestures between us, “is me along for the ride. I’m keeping your whiny ass outta trouble.”
“Remember Charlie Brown? You sound like his teacher right now. Wah, wah, wah. You can’t keep up, gramps. Plain and simple.”
“Whatever you say.”
“So, why are we still here?”
“Good question, kid.”
“What time is it?” I search my pockets. “Where’s my damn phone?”
“I took that stupid device away hours ago. All you wanna do is text Raven and bitch about her not answering. Then gush about how you care for her. It’s fucked up. Rinse, wash, repeat. Give it a rest,” Jack demands.
“But I’ve got things to tell her.”
“And all those jumbled thoughts can wait until you’re sober.”
“Raven needs to hear me so she’ll come back,” I insist. “If I stop trying, she’ll think it’s over.”
“Trey, it’s been one day. Chill out. You’ll get the point across,” Jack assures me. “No doubt about that, considering you’ve been yammering on all night.”
“I blame you for all this. You wanted to bond and shit.” My mouth is moving but I feel numb. “Did someone give me Novocain?”
Jack chuckles. “Nope. Just a bunch of booze. But hey, I’m glad you’re feeling relaxed.”
I take a deep breath, the scent of popcorn and beer thick in the air. Maybe that’s me. I sniff my shirt and almost gag. “I smell like garbage,” I complain and swallow the threat of vomiting.