[Second Chances 02]California Dreams

by Morris Fenris

  “When I arrived, I was so overwhelmed and I remember I just wanted to hide. Kate and Tim tried to involve me in everything, but I wasn’t very receptive. Miriam came over my second week here and wanted to know if I had died along with my husband.”

  Jane broke off as she remembered those dark days and how Miriam’s talk had opened her eyes to the world around her and how wallowing in her suffering was only hurting her and those that were trying to help her.

  Miriam Mercer had pulled her out of the pit of despair she had been mired in and helped her put on a brave face for those around her. Her heart had still been shattered, but each day that she put on a smile, she found a small piece of her heart had begun to heal. She would forever be grateful to the woman who had helped save her.

  Drying her tears with her fingers, she sniffed and soon found Samuel holding a tissue box out for her use. “Here, dry your tears.”

  “I got your shirt all wet,” Jane told him, looking at the dark stains on his shirt.

  “Don’t worry about it. You can cry on me any time you need to.”

  Jane gave him a tremulous smile and took a step backwards.

  “Trent stepped in here few moments ago. I think he was looking for you.”

  Jane nodded, “I should go find him. He’s got to be taking this really hard as well.”

  “Go. It’s almost lunchtime, why don’t I go set out the makings for sandwiches?”

  “You don’t have to do that…”

  “I know I don’t have to, but I’m offering. I’ll find Sara, Grace, and Daniella. You go talk to Trent and join us when you can.”

  Jane gave him a thankful smile and nodded her head, “Thanks.”

  Samuel nodded and then gave her a small push towards the door, “Go.” He watched Jane leave the room and then took a couple of deep breaths before heading towards the kitchen. He hated feeling out-of-control, and faced with Jane’s sorrow, he hadn’t a clue as to how to make it better. Maybe time was the only way to make things better. He had time, and now that Jane was coming to spend some time in California, he would be able to give her as much time as she needed.

  Heading into the kitchen, he found Sara standing in front of the window, overlooking the backyard, her shoulders shuddering occasionally. “You okay?” he asked from the doorway.

  “Samuel. Yeah, we all knew this day was coming, I just wish for her family’s sake she could have had a few more days. Her kids only arrived a few days ago.”

  Samuel walked to where she stood, laying a gentle hand on her arm, “I’m sure the time they had with her was precious, and seeing their mom pain free was a gift worth more than gold.”

  Sara nodded, “She seemed like such a sweet person. I’m glad her kids don’t have to remember her writhing in pain. Those memories take a long time to go away.”

  “But they do go away. And having caring people like you and Trent around means more than you know.”

  Sara looked at Samuel, hearing something in his voice she hadn’t heard before. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

  Samuel looked uncomfortable and shrugged his shoulders. “My mom had breast cancer. She died when I was fifteen. My dad and I did everything we could to help ease her pain, but it was never enough. In the end, we couldn’t even give her the comfort of dying at home. She died in the hospital.”

  Sara touched his arm, tears in her eyes, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

  Samuel nodded, “Yeah, well, for months afterwards the only picture in my head of my mom was of her fragile, cancer-ridden body, no hair, too weak to even talk. I remember well-meaning friends telling my dad and me that things would get better each day, but when you’re in the middle of it, it’s hard to believe things are ever going to get better.”

  Sara nodded, “After our mom died, Grace and I were numb for weeks, if not months. Then one day, I woke up and realized that I didn’t feel like crying. I didn’t feel like smiling right then either, but I realized that time was making things better.”

  Samuel shared a look with her that only a child who had lost a parent could understand, “They’re always with us. I firmly believe that. Sometimes, when I’m having a really bad day, I swear I can hear her voice in my head. Coaching me to do my best and keep pushing on.”

  Sara gave him a sad smile, “Yeah. I hear my mom in my head sometimes too. Her advice lingers even though she’s not physically here anymore. That’s the gift they left for us.”

  “Gifts? Didn’t you all open enough gifts yesterday?” Trent asked as he entered the kitchen with a teary-eyed Jane in his wake.

  Sara leaned into Trent as he wrapped his arms around her, “Samuel and I were just trading stories.”

  Trent looked at Samuel with an apology on his lips, “Man, I’m sorry. I guess I forgot how this news might be affecting you.”

  Jane looked from Trent to Samuel before asking, “I feel like I’m the only one here that doesn’t have a clue as to what you’re talking about.”

  Samuel turned to Jane, “I was just telling Sara that my mom died of breast cancer when I was fifteen. I guess this just brought back a lot of sad memories.”

  Jane walked over and laid a gentle hand on his forearm, “I’m sorry.”

  Samuel squeezed her hand before letting it go and heading for the fridge, “I guess we should probably get started on lunch. With the funeral early tomorrow morning, we’ll need to leave directly from the church for the airport.”

  Grace chose that moment to walk in, carrying an empty plate and half-full glass of milk, “You all really wore her out. She’s out for the count.” Looking around the room, she asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  Sara smiled and shook her head, “No, sis. But thanks. Everything’s being handled. Are you almost finished packing?”

  Grace nodded, “Almost. I can finish most of it up except for our carry-ons right after lunch. I guess we’ll be leaving for the airport from the church?”

  Samuel nodded, “Yes. I’ll come by your room after lunch to get your suitcases and stow them away in the rental car. Jane, do you think you could finish up your check-in bags before dinner?”

  Jane nodded, “Yes. I’ll get to them right after lunch.”

  That settled, the five adults made their own lunch and then ate it in relative silence. Each of them lost in their own thoughts. Thoughts of past losses. Thoughts of present hurts. Thoughts of future events.

  Chapter 4

  The next morning dawned bright and clear, with nary a cloud in the sky. The snow glistened on the trees and surrounding foliage as Trent drove Sara to the church. Bill had asked to meet with Sara before the service began so they were almost an hour early. Samuel would be bringing the others to the church, his rental car loaded with their luggage so they could leave directly from the funeral for the airport.

  Trent walked around the front of the jeep and opened Sara’s door, helping her down from the seat and waiting while she steadied herself. “You okay?” he asked, concern evident all over his face.

  Sara slowly nodded, “Yes. I have mixed feelings right now. The last time I entered this church we were exchanging our vows. It doesn’t seem right that only a few days later I’m entering the same building to mourn the loss of a woman who meant so much to this community.”

  Trent nodded, “I feel the same way. Let’s get you out of the cold.” He escorted her up the sidewalk and as they entered the building, they were greeted by Pastor Jameson and both Mercer children and their families – Anthony and Claire. Both were married with two kids each and lived in other states.

  Anthony and his family resided in Oregon where he was the high school football coach, while Claire had married her high school sweetheart and followed him to Florida where he worked for NASA.

  Trent knew Bill was mighty proud of his kids and recalled how often he talked about their accomplishments and those of their children. Trent hoped one day to have children of his own to brag about, but today was not the day to be ha
ving those thoughts.

  Pushing his thoughts aside, he greeted them all, “Pastor. Tony. Clair. We’re so sorry for your loss.” He gave each of them a hug and greeted their spouses as well. “This is Sara, my wife.”

  Tony went to Sara and grabbed her in a bear hug, squeezing her while saying, “Thank you. I know that doesn’t even come close to expressing our gratitude,” he released her and looked to include his other family members, “but seeing mom, pain free and able to interact with us one last time, means more than we can ever tell you.” Tears glistened in his eyes as well as those of his sibling.

  Sara choked back her own tears, “I’m glad I was able to provide her a little relief. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do more.”

  Claire grabbed her next, pulling in for a hug that rivaled that of her brother’s, “What you did was more than enough. She died peacefully and with a smile on her face. That’s all any of us wanted for her.”

  Sara nodded, unable to speak past the tears crowding her throat. When Trent put his arm around her shoulders, she leaned into his strength, wondering how she would have survived this encounter without his strength by her side.

  “Your father asked to speak with Sara before the service.”

  Pastor Jameson cleared his throat, “If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to him. He’s in the small chapel waiting for you.”

  Trent supported Sara as they followed the pastor through the vestibule and down a short hallway. He opened a heavily ingrained wooden door and Trent escorted Sara inside the dimly lit room.

  A small table sat off to the side, small candles burning, while others waited to be lit. There were two sets of pews on each side of the small room, and Bill Mercer sat quietly in the front of one of them.

  Sara quietly walked to his pew and gently sat down, placing her hand upon his arm, “Mr. Mercer. Bill, I’m so sorry for your loss.” She felt the tears start again and tried to remain strong for the broken man sitting next to her.

  Bill looked up and smiled at her, taking her aback a little. “Sara, I’m so glad you were able to meet with me before the service. Miriam was so grateful for the gift you were able to give her the last few days of her life. So was I.”

  “I was happy to help. Is there anything I can do for you?” Sara asked, looking into the man’s eyes and wondering at the strength she saw there.

  Bill nodded his head, “There is. Sort of a last wish from my Miriam, if you will.”

  “Anything. If I can do it, I’m more than happy to help.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. Trent, son, please have a seat as this affects you as well.”

  Trent was puzzled, but took the seat next to Sara and waited for Bill to continue.

  “Miriam was a remarkable woman who believed her mission on this earth was to make life easier for those around her, whenever possible. To that end, she asked for a last wish and I completely agree with what she wanted.”

  Sara glanced at Trent, not sure, where this conversation was headed.

  “Miriam wanted to be able to give the gift you gave her to others who were hurting and without hope. Her wish is for you to obtain the proper training you need to oversee and open a facility here in Castle Peaks. A sort of refuge if you will, where terminal patients can come and receive treatment to help relieve their pain so that their last remaining days on this planet can be ones that create memories for their loved ones.”

  Sara was shocked and overwhelmed, “Bill, I’m not trained to do that…”

  “I know that. So did Miriam. That is why we want you to obtain whatever training you need. I’m donating the land and the funds to sustain the project for the first five years. I figure by that time word will have spread and there’ll be people lined up wanting to contribute.”

  Trent looked at Bill in wonder. “Bill, are you sure? So much has happened. Why don’t you take some time with your family and discuss this after everything has settled down?”

  “No, sir. I promised my Miriam that I would make this happen. The Mercer-Brownell Foundation is going to happen, and your wife here is an integral part of that.”

  “What?!” Sara asked, shocked at hearing her surname combined with his own.

  Bill smiled kindly at her, patting her hand in a fatherly gesture, “It was Miriam’s wish that the memory of your mother be a part of this project.”

  Sara started to cry, tears dripping down her cheeks to fall unheeded to her lap. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Bill stood up and smiled at both her and Trent, “Say yes. I already talked with Dr. Baker and he’s agreed to be the on-site physician until another suitable candidate can be found. Right after the first of the year, I want to start making plans. I’ll have my attorney draw up the non-profit paperwork and we’ll sit down and come up with a design plan. Just as soon as the ground starts to thaw, I want work to begin.”

  “That soon?” Sara asked, glancing at Trent for help. “Mr. Mercer…”

  “Bill. Sara, it would please me if you would call me Bill.”

  Sara smiled at him and then nodded, “Bill. Are you sure about all of this? I mean, maybe you should discuss this with your kids out there…”

  “Miriam already discussed this with both Tony and Claire. They are completely on board with this idea, and have pledged their full support. They’re even going to spearhead fundraising efforts on their respective coasts once things are up and running.”

  Sara was so overwhelmed all she could do was nod. Things had moved so quickly since she had arrived in Castle Peaks, she hadn’t really taken the time to decide what her future might actually look like beyond being Trent’s wife. Now it seemed she was to be given the chance to help others dealing with the devastation of losing a loved one to cancer and help to make their last days a little more bearable.

  Who would have thought that the horrifying situation, which had driven her to Castle Peaks, would turn out so good? She smiled at both Trent and Bill, liking where she saw the future heading.

  Sobering, she remembered that they all still had to get through the memorial service that was due to start in a few minutes. Holding out her hand, she shook Bill’s hand, “Whenever you’re ready to sit down and discuss this more, you just let me know. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Bill took her hand, pulling it through his elbow and heading for the vestibule area. “So, will I be lying if I tell all of Miriam’s friends out there that you have agreed to help fulfill her dying wish?”

  Sara shook her head, “No. You won’t be lying.”

  “Good. Good. Let’s go say ‘Goodbye’ to my beloved wife. I’m going to miss her, but at least I know she’s in a better place and isn’t in anymore pain. For that, I’m truly grateful.” Bill Mercer looked up to the ceiling and nodded his head as if he and God had their own conversation going.

  Sara kept her arm linked with his as they walked down the aisle of the filled sanctuary. It seemed that the grapevine had been working overtime – the entire town was in attendance.

  After escorting Bill to where his children and their families were already seated, she returned to Trent where he sat with Samuel, Jane, Grace, and Daniella. Before she could even get herself seated properly, Daniella crawled into her lap, hugging her around the neck tightly and whispering in her ear, “Don’t be sad, Aunt Sara. Mommy said that Mrs. Mercer is watching from heaven, just like grandma.”

  Sara nodded and hugged her back, meeting her sister’s gaze and smiling in her direction. Mouthing the words, “Thank you,” she turned her attention to the podium where Pastor Jameson had begun the service.

  Hugging the little body close to her own, she was able to get through the service with a minimal amount of tears for a woman who had so briefly touched her life while alive, but was going to forever change her future.

  Jane watched Sara cuddle Daniella against her chest and realized that she wished she had a little body of her own to cuddle. At the age of 37, about to turn 38, her chances of still having her own children were growing slimmer each passing
day.

  As Jane listened to the various people talk about Miriam’s life, she wondered what people would say about her own life. She had never followed her dreams, beyond getting married early and then becoming a widow shortly thereafter. She had never had children or gone to college.

  The more she thought about it, the sadder her situation seemed. When she felt Samuel touch her arm, she glanced up to find him focused solely on her. “Are you okay?” he whispered.

  Jane wasn’t prepared to answer that question honestly. Shaking her head, she looked at him and then glanced back to the podium where Trent was just finishing his part of the ceremony. She listened as he extolled the virtues of Miriam Mercer and decided that she needed to make more than a few changes in her life. Travelling to California was a good first step, but she needed to make an impact upon the world, and to do that, she was going to have to step beyond Castle Peaks and the security it offered.

  She was going to have to step from behind the carefully constructed emotional walls she had created that kept men, Samuel in particular, at arm’s length. She was going to have to take some chances if she wanted to reap the rewards. It wouldn’t be comfortable, and it wouldn’t be easy, but she had no doubt in her mind that it would be worth it in the end.

  Chapter 5

  After the funeral, Trent and Sara gathered with Samuel, Jane, Grace, and Daniella inside the small anteroom at the front of the church. The other funeral attendees had all gone to the Mercer home and Trent had promised that he and Sara would stop by soon.

  “Samuel, are you sure it’s safe for them to return to San Diego?” Sara asked again. The week prior, Sara had fled from California and in an effort to locate her, her ex-boss David Patterson and his henchman, Trevor Ward, had gone after Grace and Daniella.

  “Trevor Ward has been arrested along with the Quintana brothers. Given the way our judicial system likes to draw things out, and the fact that it’s between holidays, they aren’t even going to get a trial date any time soon.”