He needed more. Had to have more. He’d gone eight years without her, and for the life of him, couldn’t remember why. Sliding his hand around her ribs, he cupped her breast, gently massaging it. Through the flimsy fabric of her dress, her nipple hardened beneath his palm, and he brushed his thumb over it, enchanted by the way she went suddenly all soft and willing.
Mine. All Mine.
Inching his mouth away from hers, he pressed light kisses along her dainty jaw, down her slender neck, and nipped at the soft skin where her throat met her shoulder.
“Josh,” she whispered on a sigh.
Sampling her by taste, he trailed the tip of his tongue over her shoulder, nudging the fragile strap out of his way until it tumbled off and dangled near her elbow, taking the corner of the flimsy fabric with it.
She wore no bra beneath. The discovery did fantastic things to his mind. He drew his fingertip over the swell of exposed skin, pushed the silk aside to trace a lazy circle around the tight peak. Goosebumps broke out over her skin, and she shivered.
“Baby, I’ve missed you,” he murmured before he gave in to what he wanted most.
Supporting her back with his other hand, he caught that sensitive bud in his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. The catch of her breath made his falter. When her fingers curled into his shoulders, biting through his jacket and shirt to pinch into his skin, his cock responded, swelling to capacity.
God, this was heaven. She was heaven. And that quiet response alerted him to how very much she wanted him. He might have missed it with another woman. But not Amanda. Not the woman he’d loved a hundred times and dreamt of twice as often.
He slid his other hand up her knee to her thigh and pulled the fabric into his fist, lifting it. Bare skin met his palm, smooth and muscular, just as he’d remembered. Legs that made him weak, despite her petite size. He wanted to look but couldn’t escape the need to feel her soft lips again and fastened his mouth on hers, kissing her with all the pent up hunger he’d tried to forget he possessed.
She responded with equal ferocity. Devouring him. Pouring everything she was into the kiss as if she somehow willed him to feel the secrets of her heart. She’d never kissed him any other way. It was part of what he cherished about her. She never hesitated to let him know exactly how she felt, that she wasn’t afraid to show it.
Skating his hand up her thigh, he traced a solitary finger beneath the band of her panties. Her abdomen twitched as she sucked in a sharp breath through her nose and went utterly still.
Josh eased the kiss to a close and opened his eyes with a tender smile. Her cheeks were stained with color, her lips swollen. She breathed in short, ragged gasps that matched the hammering in his chest.
She lifted her lashes, meeting his quiet gaze. In those deep blue depths, love shone brightly, blending with the dark intensity of desire. Powerful emotions rolled through him.
He inched his fingers down, brushing through her feminine curls, and tamped back a needy groan when she closed her eyes and parted her legs. Sliding one finger between her soft folds, he stroked her. Watched the delight wash across her features, reveled in the dampness that met his fingertip.
Her hips pressed forward with a quiet whimper as her fingers pulled at his shoulders and her mouth sought his once more.
Josh gave it to her, kissing her with slow deliberateness as he eased one finger inside her slick, feminine, depths.
A low, prolonged, murmur of pleasure rumbled in her throat as her body arched into his hand. She leaned back, falling into the bed, bringing him down with her. When they sank into the mattress, her hands glided beneath his jacket and pushed it over his shoulders to toss it on the floor.
Yet as he moved to settle himself between her legs, their layers of clothes got in the way, and he dropped his head to her shoulder with a frustrated groan.
“Need you naked, baby. Now.” He punctuated his whisper with a sharp nip to her shoulder.
Sighing, Amanda opened her eyes. “I don’t have anything with me…”
He grimaced inwardly. He should have thought ahead. But then, this hadn’t ever been part of his agenda for the night.
“You aren’t on the pill anymore?”
She shook her head. “Not since Emma.”
No!
Gazing down at her, he traced the contours of her face with his fingertips as he lowered his weight into her. Something a touch unsettling pulled at his gut with such ferocity it felt like he was being turned inside out. With that breathless sensation, came the realization there was no way he could walk away from her tonight. Not under any circumstances. He’d pull out if he had to, but he had to have her.
“I don’t care, unless you do,” he whispered.
Her light chuckle danced over his cheek. “I never have.”
No, she never had. Which had given them a couple good scares too. But he’d sworn he’d take care of her. He’d do it now too. It was never about sex between them. Never about fleeting pleasure. Always about something far deeper. Something Amanda embraced. That same something scared the shit out of him.
An ugly thought crawled into his mind. Had she felt that way about her husband?
“Did you love him? Emma’s father?”
She blinked. “What?”
“Did you love him?” No matter how misplaced the conversation was, he needed to know.
She studied his face a long moment, her brows pulled together. With a little sigh, she confessed, “Josh, I’ve only ever loved you.”
That was all it took to push him over the edge into heedless desire.
Eight
Josh’s eyes turned dark emerald, shining with feral intensity. A look Amanda knew all too well. She shuddered with anticipation. He held her gaze as he rose to his knees and captured her wrists to tug her upright.
The silent exchange sent heat washing through her body and stirred the swollen flesh his gentle fingers had aroused. She followed his lead, kneeling in front of him to ply at the buttons on his white dress shirt. One-by-one, she freed them, until his shirt dangled over his shoulders, a stark contrast against his darker skin.
When she finished, she tugged it off his arms and splayed her hands over his bronzed chest. Not a single hair marred his hard, chiseled muscles, and his skin was warm beneath her palms. So warm and smooth. She curled her fingers, massaging his pecs, loving the freedom of touching him. He’d taken care of himself. Where he’d been a little lean in youth, he’d filled out nicely, matured to her ideal of perfection. As he looked the countless times she’d done exactly this in her dreams.
She bent forward and trailed the tip of her tongue over his taut skin as she freed the solitary button at his waist.
He sucked in a sharp breath that sent shivers rolling down her spine.
In one swift move, he pulled her dress over her head and tossed it aside. Slightly roughened with calluses, his hands roamed over her back. The pleasant scrape told her he still enjoyed the outdoors. Wandering lower, he cupped her bottom with a little squeeze as he dragged her flush against him.
Skin to skin, she let out a gasp. Against her chest, his heart drummed a fierce beat. He was hard in all the right places, soft in all the others, and she fit against him like his body had been made to hold her. His strong arms imprisoned her; his mouth captivated her.
Hot and hungry, his kiss demanded everything. She gave it willingly, answering his needy murmurs with her own. His hands were everywhere, caressing, massaging, fanning that glorious warmth in her belly through her body until she thought she might burst into literal flames.
He edged her backwards, urging her into the soft mattress. She tumbled, pulling at his shoulders to take him with her.
With a wiggle of his hips, he kicked off his pants and boxers, and pushed his socks off with his toes. He loomed over her, supporting his powerful upper body on strong arms as he held her gaze. In one heart-stopping look, he told her all the things he would never let her hear in sp
eech.
Nudging her legs apart with his knees, he lowered himself slowly, settling his weight into her. When his erection nestled against her wet flesh, her insides turned to liquid. She closed her eyes with a quiet whimper. She spread her legs a little further, making room for him as she tucked her ankles behind his calves.
Fire burned where they were connected, licking at her senses, tormenting her until she couldn’t lie still. She squirmed beneath him, rubbing her aching center against his hard, swollen shaft.
His mouth crashed into hers, and he lifted his hand to slide his fingers through her hair. He rolled his hips, pressing his weight into her, but made no attempt to join them together.
The taunt eroded her thoughts. Spiraled her into pure, raw need. Raking her nails down his back, she lifted her hips and rubbed against his cock, seeking more. Chasing the fulfillment that came with feeling him embedded deep within her.
He dragged his mouth away, whispering at the corners of her lips, “Look at me, honey.”
She opened her eyes as his hands found hers and brought them up on the pillow near her shoulders. Lacing his fingers through hers, he lifted his hips. In one, molasses-slow thrust, he sank inside.
His eyes flickered from light to dark. They closed as he exhaled a shuddering breath. “Oh, God, Amanda,” he whispered. “You can’t imagine how perfect you feel.” He feathered kisses along her jaw, murmuring between each fleeting touch, “I could spend the rest of my life right here.”
Right where she wanted him. Where he belonged. Where she belonged. She clamped down on his hands as a wave of emotion crashed through her. Biting on her lip, desperate to silence the yearnings, she fought against those all-consuming feelings. But she lost the battle. As his mouth danced over hers, she murmured, “I love you.”
He let go of her hands, slid his arms behind her back, and lifted her up into him as he withdrew, only to plunge back inside her so deeply that tiny sparks of light passed behind her eyelids.
“I know, baby. I know. And it doesn’t scare me anymore.”
Rolling his hips once more, he ground against her sensitive center, then pulled back. Too far. The air washed between them as their contact broke, and she clutched at him, trying to stop his retreat.
With a low groan, he thrust slowly, bringing his body and his comfortable weight back down against her. Sensation zinged through her all the way down to her toes. She gasped, and the sound hung between them, full of electric energy as he rocked against her core.
The gasp turned into a low moan when he lifted up and dipped his head to suckle at her breast. Her fingers speared through his hair, and she writhed beneath him, lost to everything but the way he made her feel. Cherished. Important. Beautiful.
He kept on, relentlessly, sliding in and out of her aching flesh as he laved her breast with his tongue. Seemingly content to draw the pleasure out endlessly, he moved to her other breast, taking her up, up, up to the heights of passion, where she hung suspended and breathless. Sweet Mary, she was going to faint.
“Josh,” she murmured, curling her fingers into his scalp.
Tugging at her nipple with his teeth, he surged into her. The little twitch in his biceps told her the effort his control required. He lifted his head, and claimed her mouth with a fiery kiss. His breath hitched as he withdrew again.
She arched up into him as sensations stacked on top of each other. She’d crumble into pieces if he kept up this deliriously agonizing torture. Bringing her closer to mind-numbing bliss with each slow, deliberate pump of his hips.
A needy mewl escaped, disappearing inside his mouth before another rose up and bubbled out as she squirmed and drove her hips up into his. She felt him swell, pushing out against her swollen, slick walls.
Sinking into her again, he increased the tempo, taking her with more abandon, drowning her with the demanding thrust of his tongue that perfectly matched the heedless drive of his body. His low moans blended with hers. The reverberation of his voice carried her to a place where she could no longer react, could only feel. And what she felt defied incredible, trespassed into almost sinful, and pushed her over the edge.
Her orgasm ripped through her, shattering past the eight years of desolation that being without him created. Wave after wave of sensation rolled through her veins, lifting her up to heights she’d never soared before. She cried out against the intensity and sank her teeth into Josh’s shoulder.
He drove in deep, then pushed a little further. Drawing in a ragged gasp, he dropped his forehead to her shoulder, and surrendered to release. His body coiled against hers, stiffening as he poured himself into her.
“Amanda,” he whispered against her shoulder.
Spent, he collapsed.
As she floated down from the breathtaking height, she trailed her nails over his back to run her fingers through the damp hair at the nape of his neck. In all the times they’d made love, all the times he showed her what passion meant, they’d never shared something even close to this.
****
After an hour, Lucas glanced around, searching for some sign of either Josh or Amanda. Finding nothing, he glanced down at little Emma, noting the tiny lines that tugged at her little brow. The long day, full of hustle and bustle, was taking its toll on her, and while she’d never admit to sleepiness, Lucas read the signs with expert interpretation.
He dropped to squat near her side. “Hey, kiddo. Why don’t you go ask Aunt Mae for a mug of hot cocoa? I’m goin’ to go find your mom.”
Her frown deepened. “Aunt Mae’s with people I don’t know.”
“Don’t be silly.” He gave her an affectionate little pinch. “You know the Barton’s. Their little boy’s Sam. ‘Member him from pre-school?”
“Sam had a birthday party this summer. I went to it with Julie.”
“Yep. Go see Aunt Mae.”
Her lower lip jutted out as she turned sad eyes up to him. “Can’t I go with you?”
It took all his self-control not to laugh. Where she’d learned she could get her way by pouting, he didn’t know. But damned if it didn’t look cute.
“No, sweetie. Your mom’s with Josh. It’s a grownup thing.”
With a dramatic sigh, she trudged off toward his mother.
Lucas stood and looked to the stairwell. Josh was right, this didn’t concern him. Yet he’d picked up the pieces of Amanda’s life so many times he didn’t know how to keep out of her affairs. After all this time, he now thought of her as the sister he’d never had. And when it came to keeping her safe, he knew no limits. Especially when he knew Josh’s capabilities.
Despite his annoyance, he had to admit Josh surprised him tonight with Emma. Though they’d not been close for years, and for all Lucas knew Josh could have changed his mind, the last time children had ever been a subject of discussion, in any way, shape, or form, Josh adamantly opposed the idea.
Seeing him show such genuine affection to Emma made Lucas wary. Was it an act? A way to garner Amanda’s affection? Or, was it something new to Josh? Something that came from the heart that he tried to deny he possessed.
Either way, Lucas didn’t intend to let Josh break little Emma’s heart. Amanda was old enough to make her own decisions. Amanda knew the risks. Emma, on the other hand, was too full of innocence to suffer through Josh’s fickle promises.
Lucas worked his way through the sea of guests to the stairs and gazed up at the landing for several long moments. Josh wanted to talk. But the kiss Lucas had witnessed made that statement a bald-faced lie.
Letting out a sigh, he mounted the stairs. He didn’t want to go through this again. Twice was enough. If he had to do it a third time, he’d likely find himself on Josh’s Kansas City doorstep with a baseball bat. Something had to give. Either Josh needed to suck it up and stay where he evidently wanted to be, or Amanda had to keep him out of her life. While he had first-hand experience with what Amanda went through, he suspected the last eight years hadn’t been a joy-ride for
Josh either. He’d been entirely too devoted to her to just forget about her. If one of them didn’t work out some solution, they’d condemn themselves to misery.
And the only solution Lucas saw involved Josh returning to Lexington. Which was about as likely as the Pope moving out of the Vatican.
At the landing, he stopped to listen.
Silence hung around him, disrupted only by the occasional sound of something heavy rustling behind a light-illuminated door.
So much for talking.
He knocked on the door. “‘Manda?”
“Yeah?” Her voice sounded anxious, fringed with uncustomary worry.
“Can I come in?”
“Uh. No?”
He rolled his eyes to the ceiling and checked a groan. Offering up a little prayer there might be some hope in the old adage that the third time was the charm, he took a deep breath. “I don’t want to be the one to spoil the reunion, but it’s a little after nine, an’ Emma’s getting’ tired.”
“It’s that late?” she asked in disbelief. Something rustled again, followed by the creak of bedsprings. “I’m sorry, Luc. I lost track of time.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?”
The doorknob rattled, and Lucas stepped back, expecting Amanda’s blush. Instead, Josh exited, closing the door behind him. With his suit coat thrown across one arm, he hastily tucked in the back of his shirt.
Lucas frowned at him.
Once, Josh would have grinned, proud of his rendezvous. He would have come up with a flippant retort and shrugged the incident off as impromptu. They all would have at eighteen, even twenty.
Tonight, however, Josh didn’t so much as crack a smile. There was a subtle relaxation in his features that confirmed Lucas’ suspicions, but no hint of his youthful carelessness. Maybe he’d changed a little. Maybe maturity finally settled on his shoulders.
All I Want for Christmas is Big Blue Eyes Page 7