“Amanda will be out in a few minutes,” he explained calmly. “Tell me how I can help?”
Josh wanting to help with Emma? Lucas blinked several times. “Uh.” He faltered. “Go to the kitchen an’ make her some cocoa. This time of year she won’t go to bed without it.”
Josh turned around and cracked the door open to stick his head back inside. “Are we taking her home?”
Lucas’ eyes widened. We? Narrowing his gaze, he eyed Josh with suspicion. There was something entirely out of character about the way he just stepped into helping with Emma without so much as a hesitant stutter.
“No, if Mae doesn’t care, I’d just as soon put her to bed here until we leave,” Amanda answered.
Tossing his jacket back inside, Josh nodded and shut the door once more. Looking back at Lucas, he lifted his eyebrows in silent inquiry.
“It’s not a problem. That’s her usual room.” Lucas nodded at the closed door.
Josh headed for the stairs. At the top of the landing, he cocked his head and looked back at Lucas. “I’ve got a better idea. It’s your kitchen, you make the cocoa. I’ll get Emma.”
In open disbelief, Lucas gaped at Josh’s departing back.
The bedroom door opened, and Amanda entered the hall. Her smile was radiant, her blue eyes glowing in a way he’d never seen them shine. Though her expression spoke of happiness, she lacked the giggly, girlish mannerisms that Josh used to provoke from her. Contentment softened her features. She stood a little straighter than before. The tiredness that so often haunted her eyes was gone.
Whatever Josh said or did, had an astounding effect, for Amanda looked very much like a woman who carried the fulfilling knowledge of her partner’s devotion.
“Must’ve been some conversation,” Lucas goaded with a smirk.
“You need a wife, Luc. Someone who doesn’t mind telling you all her secrets.”
He took the subtle reprimand with a chuckle and indicated the door with a nod of his head. “Go back in. Josh’s gettin’ Emma. I’m gettin’ cocoa. You two can put her to bed before you come down and join me for some rum.”
“You’ll behave?”
“I’ll do my best.”
Nine
Josh wandered down the stairs, his ears attuned to Emma’s bright laughter. No one would recognize the difference, but his steps felt lighter. The hollow, empty feeling that pushed him into his work like a madman was gone. He’d come home. To a place only Amanda could take him.
There were so many things he wanted to ask—about Emma, about why Amanda married, about her husband. About everything she’d done for the last ten years while he’d been too busy trying not to think about her. About the terrifying way she mixed him up inside and stirred scary feelings that made him vulnerable.
Frightening things that making love to her intensified. But after the horror of believing he’d really lost her, not frightening enough to make him run. He had to have her, and when he left for Kansas City, Amanda and Emma were going with him. He would settle for nothing less.
Spying Emma near Mae, he couldn’t help but smile. Such a precious little thing. She commanded the whole room, yet did nothing but smile shyly at the people who approached Mae.
He excused himself through a small crowd of faces he recognized, making his way toward the little girl.
“McDaniels?” a masculine voice called from behind him.
With a quick glance, Josh caught Mike Martin beckoning him over. Mike who had lived across the street from him growing up and was four years older. When Mike graduated, Josh filled his quarterback shoes.
Josh shook his head with a grin. “I’ll be back. I’ve got to put a little girl to bed.”
Mike lifted a glass of wine as if to say he understood.
Josh continued, coming to a stop in front of Mae and Emma.
“Josh!” Mae held out her arms. “Give me a hug. It’s been so long, and it’s so good to see you.”
He didn’t wait for her to ask twice. Scooping her into a bear hug, he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “Good to see you too, Momma B.”
“I wish Denny was here to see how you’ve grown up. You’ll have to come back in spring. He’ll be sore he missed you. Unless you think you might be staying this time?” Over the top of her glasses, a solitary salt and pepper eyebrow arched.
Yeah right. When hell froze over. “Right now, I’m taking a certain little princess up to see her mom. After that, I plan on raiding the food.”
Catching on, Emma folded her arms over her chest and stuck her chin out in defiance. “I don’t wanna go to bed.”
Uh oh. Now what? He’d never gone toe-to-toe with a little kid before. He tried cajoling. “Lucas has some cocoa for you.”
“No.” She shook her head, whipping her blonde hair about her face.
Mae chuckled as she gave him a knowing smirk.
Flattery worked with women. Maybe little girls weren’t so very different.
He bent down, squatting in front of her, and caught her hands in his. “You wouldn’t want to make those pretty blue eyes of yours all red ‘cause you stayed up too late, would you?”
She merely pursed her lips more tightly.
Great. Now what? He glanced up at Mae, hoping for a little help.
Mae shrugged.
Emma pulled her hands free and grabbed the sides of her dress. She swished from side-to-side with a look of wisdom that added ten years to her age. “Princesses stay up till midnight. Their prince takes them home in a pretty carriage. Since I’m a princess, I’m not going to bed yet. Don’t you know, Mister Josh, princesses always get their way?”
He cleared his voice to keep from laughing aloud. Something told him Emma was more accustomed to getting her way than probably any little girl her age should be. But in her singsong proclamation, he discovered a tactic he could use to his advantage. “Did your momma tell you I’m a prince?”
Her little eyes widened as her mouth dropped into a pretty little ‘o’.
Josh nodded in emphasis. “It’s true. And I came early, Princess Emma, to take you away.”
With a little frown, she eyed him in suspicion. “Where’s your carriage?”
Good question. Catching Mae’s little snort of laughter, he scrambled for a satisfactory answer. “My carriage only works in the summertime when it’s not cold at night. It’s like Cinderella’s. In the winter, I drive a car like the rest of the boring old adults. That way, though, my princess won’t get cold.”
She still didn’t look entirely convinced, but the little frown disappeared as he reached for her hand.
“If you don’t believe me, Emma, you can ask your mom. She’ll tell you I took her for a ride in my carriage a long time ago.” At least that wasn’t a lie. He’d taken Amanda on a carriage ride the night of senior prom, when they went into Kansas City for dinner.
“Then you’re Mommy’s prince, not mine.”
“Will you let me be yours too?”
Laughter bubbled in his chest as she fixed him with the same, studious gaze that Amanda used when she put serious thought into a matter. Emma even chewed on her lower lip. He didn’t believe for a moment that the mannerism was natural. Rather something she picked up from her mother. Lord, she was a priceless little thing.
Giving him a dramatic little sigh, she answered, “I guess.”
Standing up, he lifted her into his arms.
As she looped hers around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder, his chest tightened a little. In twenty-eight years, he’d never considered how nice it might feel to have a child’s trust, even for the short time it took him to get her up the stairs. He could get used to this.
Entering the bedroom he’d just had mind-boggling sex in, he found Lucas with cocoa in hand and Amanda sitting on the edge of the bed. She stood up as he came closer.
“Sorry, it took…”
“Shh.” Amanda hushed him as she pointed to Emma. “She’s asleep already.
”
Josh blinked as he craned his head sideways to see if she was telling the truth. He couldn’t see Emma’s face, just her hair. But the way her hand had fallen down and dangled near his elbow verified it.
“I’ll be damned. She must have been exhausted,” Lucas commented in a quiet voice as he stood up.
Feeling rather proud of himself, Josh grinned. He didn’t have the slightest idea what, if anything, he’d done to lull little Emma, but the fact that Lucas seemed surprised made him gloat. Lucas wasn’t the only one, evidently, who could charm little girls. For his first attempt, Josh hadn’t done half bad.
Amanda motioned to the bed, indicating he should lay her down.
That gave Josh pause, and his little thrill of success faltered. He didn’t exactly have the best hold on her to set her down gently, and the last thing he wanted to do was wake her up. That would indicate failure. He had no doubt both of these people could put Emma in bed without disturbing so much as a hair on her head.
He twisted sideways as Lucas reached for Emma. No way was he giving in to defeat at this point. He’d figure something out.
Shifting her a little, he fastened one hand against the back of her head and leaned over, supporting her as he lowered her into the bed. When he slipped his hands out, she murmured something, rolled over to her side, and snuggled into the pillow.
Success.
Josh backed away. A little awkward, yes. But at least she still slept.
As Lucas tugged off Emma’s shoes, Amanda laced her hand through Josh’s, sending little pulses of heat shooting up to his shoulder. He trailed a fingertip along her delicate jaw. “She’s beautiful,” he whispered.
If only she were mine. The traitorous little thought reached up and squeezed around his heart. God, what was wrong with him? Twenty-four hours in Lexington, one amazing hour in Amanda’s arms, and he was feeling all sappy and sentimental.
Amanda smiled softly as she lowered her lashes in a long blink and her cheeks flushed. “She’s spoiled rotten.”
Josh’s chuckle harmonized with Lucas’. For the first time since his arrival, when Lucas turned around and grinned, Josh felt like everything was normal. Like there wasn’t eight years hanging between them all. That they’d always been together, as they were supposed to have been for as long as any of them could remember.
“How about some rum?” Lucas asked as he pulled the thick quilt over Emma’s tiny shoulders.
“Rum sounds good. And food. I’m starving,” Josh answered. “There’s all kinds of chocolate down there calling my name.”
Amanda’s light laughter went straight to his gut, tightening it pleasantly. He loved that sound. He’d heard it echoing in the halls of his house uncountable times, even though she’d never set foot inside.
With a gentle tug on her hand, he led them downstairs. Lucas vanished, but Josh didn’t particularly notice. He was too busy feeling very much like this just might turn out as the best Christmas of his life. The holly, the scent of pine blending with some citrus aroma, the lights—everything held new beauty. The faces he recognized, he no longer hesitated to acknowledge with a hearty hello, a firm handshake, and a promise to come catch up as soon as he had a plateful of food in hand.
The way Amanda moved with grace, the smile on her face, the light in her eyes, took his breath away every time he looked at her. She’d always been elegant. Yet he’d never imagined just how easily she could command the attention of everyone in the room. There wasn’t a single part of her that alluded to false politeness. Everything was genuine. When she asked questions, she truly cared to hear the answers. The way she told Betty Parker she was glad she’d made it tonight, the way she apologized to old man Thomason about his wife’s death—all from the depths of her too-large heart.
And Josh liked it. Too much. Less than an hour after making love to her, he wanted to feel all that soft skin flattened up beneath him again.
At the long dining table full of food, she passed him a plate. Their fingers brushed, and Josh’s gaze locked with hers. Impulsively, he leaned over and pressed a light kiss to her lips, lingering a moment before he turned his attention on the trays of sweets and platters of meats.
“Hey, I know what these are.” With a little excited snatch, he picked up a rum ball between his thumb and forefinger.
Amanda’s blush confirmed she’d made them. “For you,” she murmured as she averted her gaze.
What had his stomach pulling fiercely wasn’t that she made them for him, but that she’d done so before they came together tonight. God, he’d really been stupid to walk out after spending the night with her after his father’s funeral. One of these days, he’d be able to explain why. Right now, he couldn’t get past how even with that sort of broken promise, she still loved him.
Leaning into her, he brushed his lips over her cheek and whispered near her ear, “I plan on spending all night showing you my appreciation, baby.”
Her eyes glowed brightly as she held his gaze. The look sent heat racing throughout his body.
She moved closer, so close her breasts brushed against his chest. Dusting a kiss over the corner of his mouth, she asked, “All night?”
Starting now if he could find a way to get them out of here without being obvious.
He nodded, ignoring the stray fantasy, and twirled a lock of her hair around his finger as he gazed into her eyes. “I want to come undone with you, Amanda.”
A shiver rolled visibly through her body.
“Ain’t this a sight? Just like old times. McDaniels and Amanda. Who’da thunk it?” A strong hand gripped Josh’s shoulder as Benny Yates ducked his wide head between the two of them. “Thought you was gone for good, Josh.”
He did too.
“Benny, what have you been up to?” Josh asked, avoiding the subject of his absence. “It’s good to see you, man.”
Benny let go of their shoulders and stepped back. Reaching behind him, he ushered a petite brunette in front of him, his broad linebacker size nearly obscuring her completely, despite her heavily pregnant state.
Josh studied her, trying to place the familiar face.
“‘Member Jenny?”
Jennifer Lightner. Co-Captain of the cheerleading squad, and she’d hated Amanda. She’d done everything she could to ruin Amanda’s reputation when she stumbled in on them under the bleachers with John…John… Josh couldn’t remember his last name.
“I do,” he answered politely.
Beside him, Amanda’s shoulders lifted a little higher.
So, they still didn’t get along. He filed the fact away.
“She finally agreed to marry me two years ago. Gonna have us a baby boy next month. I’ve been puttin’ in overtime at the shop the last year an’ runnin’ the farm. You? Heard you was in the city.”
That would be his father’s body shop—Josh put the information together. “Yeah. I’m an architect.”
“Sounds fancy.”
“Eh, it keeps me busy.”
“Josh is being humble.” Amanda ran her slender hand down his arm. “He was awarded the American Institute of Architects Honor Award for excellence in design the last two years.”
There was only one reason she’d point that out, and Josh was staring at her. Jennifer made Amanda insecure. Always had. However, Amanda’s voice held distinct pride, and he had to check himself to resist giving her an incredulous look over the simple fact she knew that.
“Congratulations, Josh,” Jennifer replied with a smile. “Looks like leaving Lexington was a good move for you.” She shot Amanda a smug look.
Another reason why Josh didn’t want to return to Lexington—just like old friendships didn’t vanish, neither did old rivalries.
“Honey, Lucas looks lost. We better go join him.” Josh inclined his head toward Lucas as he caught Amanda’s gaze. “Good to see you, Benny, Jennifer. Congrats on the baby.”
He didn’t give them time to reply before he ushered Amanda awa
y and joined Lucas, Mike Martin, and a leggy blonde Josh didn’t know.
“Hey, McDaniels! Amie, this is Josh McDaniels. Josh, meet my wife, Amie. We met out east in school. Somehow or another she got the crazy idea we needed to live in a small town last year.”
No wonder he didn’t know her. Josh extended his hand to shake hers. She flashed him a pretty smile before she turned adoring eyes on Mike.
“When we were seniors, Amie, Josh and Amanda were inseparable. We were all waiting for graduation, and Josh to propose on the stage.” Mike grinned at his wife.
The uncomfortable feeling pulled at Josh again. Despite the camaraderie, high school felt like another place and time. Or maybe it was just the subtle reminder, the unintentional innuendo that he’d screwed up. Disappointed them all.
He didn’t know what to say. If Mike and Amie lived here, they knew he didn’t. Amie knew he hadn’t done what everyone expected. They just couldn’t possibly know why.
Confronted with the sudden need to turn back time, Josh shifted his weight and added a bit more emphasis to his smile.
Lucas saved him. Sort of. “Josh had more important things to take care of than rush into settling down. He did something with his life. Excuse me.”
Just like that, Lucas left. Wandered away toward the rear of the house and got lost amongst the other guests.
What the hell had gotten under his skin?
Ten
Josh was bad for her. Amanda knew this deep down, but there was absolutely nothing in this world that could stop her from barreling headfirst down this course they set tonight. She didn’t know what brought him back to Lexington, didn’t care. He would leave, as he always did, and break her heart all over again. Leave it bleeding on the floor like last time. Yet, she couldn’t stop. The only thing she’d ever known, ever been any good at, was loving him. And there wasn’t a single particle of her being that knew how to do anything less when it came to Josh.
From the moment he sent a blood red rose on Valentine’s day their junior year, making his interest known, he was the center of her world. No matter how Lucas wanted her to think otherwise now, she’d been the center of Josh’s, too. What they shared wasn’t the naïve innocence of youth. They’d been thrown into too many disasters with only the other to depend on, to dismiss their early relationship as something that would fade with time.
All I Want for Christmas is Big Blue Eyes Page 8