All I Want for Christmas is Big Blue Eyes
Page 19
Amanda blinked. She glanced up at Josh, noting the relaxation of his features, the slow rise and fall of his chest. Asleep.
Rolling onto her back, she splayed her fingers over her belly and lay motionless, absorbing what had just happened. The recognition of the sensation hit her with the force of a gale wind, and she widened her eyes. For the love of Mary…
The last time she’d felt this odd, Emma wasn’t far behind.
A smile drifted over her face. Although no one would likely believe her, she knew.
Cuddling close to Josh, she pulled at the covers and spread them over their bodies. She’d just discovered Josh’s Christmas gift. Question was… would he enjoy it as much as she would?
Twenty-two
Amanda woke with morning’s first light. As she rolled over to snuggle up against Josh, she found him watching her, the corners of his eyes crinkling with a smile. His arm wound around her waist, and he pulled her atop his chest.
“Morning, honey.”
“Mm. Good morning. Did you still want to take Emma to school today?”
His low chuckle rumbled at her ear. “I don’t know if I can stand up to her claims. I think I might need a crown or something.”
“She adores you, Josh. You realize that, don’t you?”
The effect he had on Emma amazed Amanda. Typically shy with strangers, her infatuation with him was truly remarkable. She just hoped this time, Josh meant his words and he wouldn’t break Emma’s heart too—although the chances of his doing that looked slimmer and slimmer as each day passed. It seemed this time, he had every intention of honoring his word.
Tightening the arm at her waist, Josh gave Amanda a squeeze. “She’s just like her momma, an angel and a beauty. I’m pretty hung up on the both of you.” With a turn of his head, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll take her to school. You sleep in.”
She stretched, unfurling her body from fingers to toes and arching her back. “I can’t sleep in. I’ve got things to do today.”
“Work?”
“No, the shop’s closed until after Christmas. I need to meet with Lucas over Christmas stuff, shopping, and…”
“Mommy, Mommy!” Emma’s voice rang through the hall. The muffled sound of padding bare feet followed behind the call.
Amanda barely had time to pull the covers up to her chin before her bedroom door banged open.
Emma bounded in. With a flying leap, she threw herself on the bed. Standing up, she bounced in place, shaking the bed. “Mommy, no school!”
Letting out a playful growl, Josh sat up and grabbed Emma around her waist. She squealed as he brought her down on top of him and tickled her. “Don’t jump on the bed, Princess.”
“Stop, stop,” she wheezed, pushing at his hands as she squirmed.
Amanda edged sideways, giving the pair room. As she watched, her heart swelled a little more. He was so good with her. So damn perfect about leaping in to make her feel welcome in his life.
“You want to run into town with me for a little bit this morning, munchkin?” he asked.
“What for?”
He bent over and whispered in her ear, something Amanda only caught a few hisses of. Whatever he said, lit Emma’s face up, and she bobbed her head vigorously. Now what was he up to?
Lifting his gaze, his grin stretched from ear to ear. “Amanda, would it upset your plans too much if I borrowed your car? I need to get mine towed in for repairs.”
“Ah, no. I think Luc took this week off work. I’ll ask him for a ride.”
“Okay, Princess. You go get your clothes on. We’ll get doughnuts while we’re out. We can leave after I jump in the shower.”
She sat up, bouncing in place once more, before he caught her with one strong arm and deposited her gently to the floor.
Jutting out her chin, she gave him a sulking look. “Why can’t I stay here with Mommy?”
“Because your mommy needs to get dressed.”
“So?” She folded her arms across her chest. “Mommy dresses in front of me all the time.”
Caught unprepared, Josh turned a pleading look on Amanda. She stifled a laugh by clearing her voice. “Honey, go on back to your room. Josh needs to use the shower, and it’s not very nice for princesses to stay in the same room while princes change their clothes.”
Her little brows puckered together. “But you’re a princess, Mommy.”
As the subject drifted into territory Amanda wasn’t sure how to navigate, she cut it off all together. “Emma Rose, don’t give me static. If you’re going with Josh, you go get dressed too.”
“Fine,” she huffed. Stomping dramatically out of the room, she banged the door shut.
Amanda flipped over onto her stomach and grinned at Josh. “What are you two up to?”
He sat up, the quilt falling into his lap and exposing his muscular chest. Her gaze fastened on the bronzed expanse of flesh as her hand reflexively darted out to touch. His skin was smooth, and as she slid her palm over the hard contours he sat utterly still. With a sigh, Amanda pulled her hand back and tucked it under her pillow.
“It’s Christmastime, honey,” was the only answer he offered before he bent down to give her a soft kiss. Leaning back, he dropped one leg to the floor. “Without spoiling your mood, is there a place I can do some work here?”
Work. For Sandra likely. She pushed the thought aside, determined not to lose the beauty of her morning. “The guest room across the hall has a card table in the closet. Will that work?”
Answering with a brief nod, he stood up, giving her the most exquisite view of his backside before he strode into the bathroom. She rolled over with a sigh and settled her hands over her belly. Josh would make a wonderful father. She’d always known that—ever since the afternoon he showed up while she was babysitting, just as little Tommy Francis fell off his bike and scraped his knee. Josh had soothed him more than she’d been able to; she was so freaked out about his getting hurt while she was there.
As the water turned on, she sat up, grabbed the phone, and punched out Lucas’ number.
He answered on the second ring. “Hey, babe.”
“Hey. Can you come over? I need to talk to you.”
“What’s up?”
“I’ll tell you when you get here. Josh is taking Emma out for the day. They’re leaving as soon as he gets out of the shower.”
“All right. I’ll be over in what, half hour?”
“I’ll be in the basement.”
She dropped the receiver into the cradle and dragged herself out of bed. Quickly pulling undergarments out of her dresser, she went to the closet for clean jeans and a sweatshirt, and donned them all.
Wandering down the stairs to the kitchen, she called out, “Emma, oatmeal in five!”
As she boiled water, she hummed to herself while she planned out her day. The number one thing she wanted to accomplish while Josh and Emma were out was scanning the Internet for private schools near Josh’s house. But she’d need Lucas’ help to figure out exactly where that was. Lucas’ former boss had relocated to the city—maybe Hugh could offer some insight.
After she had that information, she could put serious thought into what she wanted to do. But raising Josh’s baby, without him, was simply out of the question.
Emma barreled down the stairs and skidded into the kitchen. She climbed up into the chair and swung her feet, banging her heels against the chair’s foot rail until Amanda gave her a disapproving frown.
“I’m hungry, Mom.”
“It’s done.”
She set the bowl down in front of Emma, filled a glass of orange juice, and sat down across from her. Overhead, water still rushed through the pipes, telling her Josh was well out of hearing distance.
“Emma, I want to ask you something. It’s a secret though, one only princesses can know about.”
With her cheeks full of oatmeal, Emma’s little eyes lit with excitement. She nodded.
Emma tipped her head, her dainty features scrunching together as they did when she put serious thought into something. “Will I still be a princess?”
Amanda’s heart tripped over itself. “Of course you would, sweetie. You wouldn’t see Uncle Lucas as often though.”
Her frown deepened, but after a few moments of contemplative silence, Emma shrugged. “That’s okay. I’d rather have a daddy. Will Uncle Lucas be mad?”
“No, I don’t think so. But like I said, sweetheart, this is a secret.” Above, the water stopped. Heavy feet moved through the second-floor room. “We can talk about it after Christmas, okay?”
“Okay.” She flashed a grin.
As Josh jogged down the stairs, Amanda glanced up, taking in the tousled look to his hair that gave him an air of arrogant indifference. Pulling out a chair near the wall, he joined them, and she rose, heading for the cupboard once more. But as she rummaged through the assortment of breakfast cereals, she discovered she’d given Emma the last package of the instant oatmeal. With one hand still poised inside the deep shelf, she looked over her shoulder. “I’m out of oatmeal. What sounds good to you?”
He shook his head. “Sit down. You don’t need to wait on me.”
“I’m…not.” Her answer came with a look of puzzlement. It was just what she did in the mornings—cooked. A habit she couldn’t begin to break as long as Emma was small. “It’s breakfast. What sounds good?”
“Really, honey, relax. I’m not particularly hungry.”
“Coffee?”
Smirking, he shook his head.
“Well, I want some. Lucas will too. You might as well have a cup if I’m going to make it.” Fighting back an inward sigh, she went to the coffee maker. She didn’t want his politeness. She wanted him to feel at home, comfortable enough to let her fill the role life intended for her.
“Nope. As soon as Emma finishes her orange juice, I’m taking her shopping.”
No sooner than he made the announcement, did Emma drain the last of her juice with deep gulps and set her glass down on the table. “Done!”
“Okay, Princess. Go get your boots on.”
She jumped down from her chair and disappeared through the door.
Josh stood and went to Amanda. He slid his arms around her waist and drew her against him. His lips clasped hers softly. “I’ll make sure she eats lunch. We’ll come back after. You sure you don’t mind?”
Her arms tightened around him. Mm—he smelled good. Clean like soap and fringed with that stirring cologne. “Nope. Go have fun. She’ll be on cloud nine all day.”
With a fond smile, he cupped her cheek in his palm, then skimmed it along her jaw to take her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “You do something for yourself today, okay?”
Oh, she planned on it. Multiple somethings. She had plans to make, research to accomplish. All things she didn’t intend to tell him about until much later. “I will.”
“Mo-om, you’re making us late,” Emma whined from the front room.
Chuckling, Amanda backed away from Josh. She let her fingers linger against his before she went to the table for Emma’s dishes.
“See you later, honey.”
“Have fun,” she answered brightly as she set the dirty bowl in the sink.
Moments later, the front door settled heavily into its frame, the rattling windows announcing their departure. Amanda wiped her hands on her jeans and glanced at the stairs. With a decisive nod, she flicked on the light and descended into the finished basement where she’d spent too many weekend nights watching movies with her friends.
Across the carpeted floor, she opened a heavy closet door and pulled the dangling switch to light the solitary bulb. It blinked once, before glowing steadily. Box after box of memories stood stacked against the wall, pieces of all the important events in her life. One, near the middle of the closest shelf, bore a typed label that marked the first summer she’d spent with Josh.
When she’d packed the things away, it seemed so silly, so childish, to hang on to the mementos, but she couldn’t bear to part with a single thing. Somewhere in that box lay every single movie ticket stub Josh had taken her to, along with everything else that marked something they’d done together. In a frame, she’d saved the first rose too.
She pulled the box from the shelf and took it to the small, worn sofa.
Returning to the closet, she scanned the topmost shelves, where she’d put the more recent things. Her gaze settled on a green Tupperware container marked, Emma I. Standing on her toes, she hefted it down, lugged it into the other room also, and pried off the lid.
Amanda sat on the floor, her legs tucked to the side, and looked in at the pressed and folded baby clothes. One by one, she picked them out. All the pinks she set in a neat stack near her knees. The blues she piled beside the bin. But the greens and yellows, she inspected carefully, searching for lingering stains.
Marked as newborn clothes, they all looked so tiny. Amazing Emma had ever fit into them. But she had, and she’d been such an adorable baby.
She ran her hand over an embroidered giraffe with a soft smile. So adorable.
Adding those one-piece suits that looked distinctly feminine to the stacked piles, she sorted the outfits. When she had the entire bin empty, she packed the unsuitable clothes back inside.
“What are you doin’?”
Lucas’ chuckling question snapped Amanda’s head up. One foot on the floor, the other still on the stairwell, he grinned at her.
“Looking at Emma’s baby clothes. Do you remember this one?” She held up a white terrycloth suit, adorned with fuzzy, brown, teddy-bear feet.
His grin changed into an affectionate smile as he crossed the room and sat down at her side. “I gave that to you for your shower.”
She nodded. “It was what she wore home from the hospital. God, it was cold that morning. You were the only one who thought to bring something appropriate, not just pretty.”
He picked up a mint green suit, the same one with the giraffe stitched near the shoulder that she’d admired moments ago. “This one was cute on her too. Why are you goin’ through her clothes?”
Amanda took her time in answering, folding the white suit neatly, and setting it on her lap. She looked down at her hands, sorting through the number of things she could say. Lifting her eyes to his curious gaze, she confessed in a quiet voice, “I’m pregnant, Luc.”
With a look that told her she’d lost her mind, he shook his head. “That’s insane, Amanda. Josh’s been here for what? Four? Five? Six days at the most? You can’t know that.”
Letting out a soft laugh, she answered, “You didn’t believe me last time either.”
His look of incredulity transformed into furrowed brows and a firm set to his jaw.
“Some women just know things, Luc. They’re better in-sync with their body than others. I can’t begin to describe the sensation I felt with Emma, and again last night. If I could, I doubt you’d understand it anyway. I just feel…different. Mark my words, Lucas Benning, if I go to Doctor Young’s in two weeks for a blood test, she’ll say the same thing.”
Pregnant. She’d said it aloud, and that singular word held enormous power. Josh’s baby…
She shivered.
Twenty-three
Lucas continued to stare at Amanda, his mouth slightly agape. With a shake of his head, he blinked once, then twice, and cleared his throat. “What are you gonna do?”
“Do?” Her voice held a touch of confusion. There was nothing to do about it. She was having a baby, for God’s sake.
“I mean…” He spluttered. “Josh, Emma, Lexington, Kansas City—what are you gonna do?”
Another laugh bubbled up inside her, and she set it free with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I�
�ll figure it out. I want to know about the private schools near his house. Can you call your friend Hugh?”
“You’re gonna leave?”
She sighed and set the clothes aside. “I don’t know. I don’t have enough information to make such an important decision. I want to do what’s right for Emma, but I can’t think about only her. Or myself. Josh won’t accept being excluded.”
“He won’t accept your stayin’ here, is what will happen, babe.”
The warning in Lucas’s voice put a damper on Amanda’s good mood. Annoyed now, she fastened the lid on the tub, picked it up, and stalked to the closet, where she put it back on the shelf. She’d hide the clothes she’d set out in Emma’s room until she felt ready to tell Josh. He wouldn’t believe her without proof. Not if Lucas—who’d been through it once before—couldn’t.
Entering the room once again, she set her hands on her hips. “I love Josh, Luc, but he doesn’t dictate what I do. If I choose to stay here, Josh can not accept it all he wants, and it won’t do a damn thing to change my mind.”
“Well, you better get ready for one hell of a fight.”
Exasperated, Amanda muttered. Frowning at him, she asked, “Could you try something for me?”
“Depends. What did you have in mind?”
“How about a congrats? A little enthusiasm? For God’s sake, Lucas, this isn’t the result of a one-night stand. This is Josh’s child!”
His instant chagrin flooded his face with crimson color. He hung his head. “I’m sorry. Congratulations, ’Manda. I just don’t want you endin’ up hurt again.”
Put that way, she couldn’t stay annoyed at him. She crossed the room and gave him a tight hug. “That’s sweet of you, but you can’t fight my battles for me. If you had a wife…” She trailed away with a mischievous grin.
“I’ll be too old for kids by the time anyone interestin’ rolls in to Lexington.” Letting go of her, he stood. “Did you call me over here just to tell me that, or did you need somethin’ else?”