All I Want for Christmas is Big Blue Eyes

by Claire Ashgrove

  Stunned, Amanda stared. She knew she ought to say something, but damned if she could make words come. Just what had Josh said to his sister about Emma? Evidently a lot more than Amanda had expected if she’d thought ahead and brought along a crown for her.

  “The backyard is fenced in, sis. You can go out over there.” Josh pointed through the dining room, at the sliding glass doors.

  “Can I go with you, Aunt Olivia?”

  Olivia chuckled. “Of course you can. But get your coat.”

  As Amanda watched in her stupor, Emma bounced over to the peg behind the door and pulled her coat down. She thrust her arms inside, scampering to the back door.

  Olivia followed, releasing the safety lock between the front pane and the wall before pushing the door open. The three disappeared outside.

  “Honey, are you okay?” Josh asked as he brushed a light kiss across Amanda’s cheek.

  Squeezing her eyes shut to shake off her speechlessness, Amanda swallowed hard. “I-That… Wow.”

  She lifted her eyes to his, finding startling emotion reflecting back at her. His vibrant greens glittered in the dim light, and as he held her gaze for a long moment, the corner of his mouth tugged upward with a smile.

  He dipped his head and caught her in a slow, tantalizing kiss that turned her insides upside down. The tip of his tongue danced across the seam of her lips, seeking more, and she yielded completely, holding on to his strong arms as he slanted his mouth, deepening the kiss. In a heartbeat’s time, the room stood still, everything fading from her awareness except the velvety stroke of his tongue against hers and the ripples of delight that cascaded down her spine.

  Her fingers curled into his biceps, pulling him closer. His arms wound around her back, and he dragged her up to her feet, molding her body against his powerful frame. Sliding his fingertips into her back jeans’ pockets, he squeezed her buttocks as a murmur of pleasure rumbled in the back of his throat.

  The rush of cold air signaled the back door opening, and he stepped back, letting his lips linger as if he couldn’t tolerate the idea of separating himself just yet. With a devilish smile, he pressed his forehead to hers, and whispered, “You make me crazy, Amanda. One kiss and I want to drag you up to bed and keep you there for hours.”

  Heat filled her cheeks. She lowered her lashes, afraid that if she looked into those mesmerizing green eyes a moment longer, she’d forget they had company and insist he do exactly that.

  Later, she reminded herself. Later he would be all hers, and tonight she intended on starting their Christmas with a long soak in a hot bubble bath, complete with a glass of champagne that she’d reserved for a special occasion. One glass, only one glass. Nothing more, or she’d worry about the baby. But until she told Josh, she couldn’t do anything that might raise his suspicion.

  Giving the side of her neck one last, suggestive nuzzle, Josh released her. He picked up his sister’s suitcases and headed for the stairs, calling over his shoulder, “Come on you two, let’s take Olivia’s things upstairs.”

  As the trio disappeared, Amanda sank down on the back of the couch, steadying her weakened legs. How he managed to turn her into putty with a simple kiss, she’d never understand. It was like her body had a will of its own, and what it wanted revolved one hundred percent around Josh. To hell with anything she ought to do, one touch and all she wanted was him. Naked. Making love to her.

  Distantly, the rush of running water drifted to her conscious thought, and she jumped to her feet, hurrying to the sink. Dinner. They must be starving. She certainly was. She’d finish dinner, make cookies, play Santa…

  A smile drifted across her face. With it, her heart skipped a beat.

  After, she’d play Mrs. Claus.

  ****

  While Emma played on the floor with Charley, Josh flipped open his design book and tapped the top page. He eyed Olivia. “What do you think? Keep in mind little pitchers have big ears.” He nodded at Emma, hoping Olivia would take the hint and watch her words.

  “I think that’s one hell of a project to finish by tomorrow.”

  Despite her gruff response, she bent over the notebook to study his drawings. Flipping through the pages, she whispered to herself, gnawed on a thumbnail, and finally stood up with her hands on her hips. “You owe me big time, buddy.”

  In that threatening response, Josh recognized her willingness, and a whoop of joy threatened to escape. He resisted the urge to throw his arms around his sister and spin her around, settling instead on a deep laugh.

  “I’ll go get the rest of the stuff from the trunk. Do you want anything?”

  She nodded. “Some of whatever I smell. It’s making my mouth water.”

  He inhaled the hearty aroma rising up from the kitchen. “You’ll love how she cooks. Although I think she’d like to have us downstairs for dinner.”

  “You want this done, Josh, you bring me up food. I need all the time I can get, and you’re going to have to stay up with me all night to get it done too.”

  At the doorway, he answered with a somber nod. “I’d expected as much.” Still, he didn’t like it. Last night was already one night too many without touching Amanda. After that kiss downstairs, his body hummed with arousal. Another night unable to fulfill it, and he’d be wound up like a spring come morning. So tight he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t snap.

  He made his way downstairs to the kitchen, stopping to admire the way she moved effortlessly about the stove.

  With Emma distracted, and his sister occupied, the temptation to sneak Amanda away to the darkened sitting room for a little play pervaded his common sense. Damn, he was so hungry for her, craved the feel of her smooth skin so intensely, he couldn’t think about anything else. Not even what he was supposed to be doing in the kitchen.

  “Will that burn?” he asked in a low whisper.

  Amanda startled. Turning around, she cocked her head. “No, it shouldn’t. Why?”

  “Come here.” To his own ears, his request sounded more like a harsh demand. He cringed inwardly as he ducked into the shadows of the vacant sitting room and sat on the arm of her small loveseat.

  But Amanda didn’t seem to notice. Her footsteps fell quietly as she followed with a curiously lifted eyebrow. “What are you up to?” she asked on a light laugh.

  He didn’t bother with a reply. Instead, he took her hands in his and pulled her closer, fastening her between his thighs. With her shorter stature, she stood at eye-level, and as their bodies touched, his cock jumped in anticipation.

  The light from the Christmas tree filtered through the adjoining doorway, illuminating her features. Her eyes shone dark, like deep ocean pools he could drown in.

  He slipped one hand through her short hair, unable to look away. She was beautiful. Perfect. Everything he’d ever wanted, ever dreamt of. He’d come so close to losing her, and that fear had been more terrifying than all the scary feelings she awakened inside him.

  God, how he loved her.

  The confession rose to the back of his throat, begging for freedom. He silenced it by capturing her mouth, drinking from the softness of her lips and losing himself to the powerful effect she had on him.

  Sliding one hand between their bodies, his fingers found her breast. Beneath his touch, her nipple tightened, and he rolled his thumb over it, caressing, stroking, teasing.

  Her mouth hardened against his, demanding more from the sensual kiss, and he gave it, responding with an equal hunger. At the same time, he brought his other hand between them and cupped her opposite breast. He brought them up and together, massaging until a low moan slipped from her throat.

  She broke the kiss. Her shaky fingers gripped his shoulders as she drew in a ragged breath. “We can’t. Emma and Olivia—”

  “Are upstairs.”

  Before she could protest, he tugged her lightweight long-sleeved shirt from her jeans and pushed it up until he exposed her lacey bra. He trailed the tip of his tongue along the swel
l of her breast, dipped into the valley between them, and traced his way across the other to flick beneath the dainty material in search of her sensitive nipple.

  Using his fingers, he plied the lace away, revealing what he craved. He drew the hardened bud between his teeth and tugged. When her nails bit into his shoulders, he closed his lips around her sensitive flesh and rolled her nipple with his tongue, suckling to relieve the pinch of his teeth.

  Her hips pressed forward, grinding against his cock, and he dropped one hand to her bottom, fastening her in place, unable to tolerate the idea of separation. Need shot down his spine, pooling at the base and gathering in his groin like fire. His erection strained for freedom against his fly.

  Moving to her other breast, he laved it with slow deliberateness in a desperate quest to ignite the same flames inside her, to make her as needy for him as he was for her. As he grazed his teeth over her swollen nipple, she rolled her hips, rubbing herself against his throbbing shaft.

  He drew away long enough to tug her shirt over her head, and in one twist of his wrist released the fastener on her bra. “Amanda,” he whispered in a hoarse voice.

  “Hm?”

  “I want to feel you around me.” He brushed kisses over her shoulder, inching toward her neck. “Sink deep inside you.” He slid his lips along the side of her neck, flicking his tongue over the vein that pulsed strongly. “Feel the way your body holds on to me as you come.”

  She trembled in his arms, squirming against him once more.

  As he fastened his mouth on hers, claiming her with feral need, her hands fell to his waist, unfastening his jeans. She pulled at his shoulders, beckoning him to stand, and as she took a half-step backward, she whispered, “Don’t tell me. Show me.” With a swift push, she stripped him of his jeans and shorts. They fell to his knees. His cock jutted forward, aching for the sweet haven her body offered.

  He tamped down a growl. With one tug on her wrist, he brought her back in front of him, crashing his mouth against hers. Following her lead, he unbuttoned her pants and shimmied them, along with her underwear, down her hips.

  He splayed his fingers over her bottom and dragged her against him roughly. His cock slipped between her moist folds. He angled his hips backwards, stroking her sensitive center with measured precision until she trembled against him once more.

  He pushed forward, aligning himself with her opening, and she parted her legs in invitation. With one painfully slow stroke, he slid inside her slick sheath, surrendering to a soft moan.

  God, this was heaven. Amanda everywhere. He could see her, smell her, feel the slightest movement she made.

  He pulled back, then sank deep as she lowered herself against him. Her flesh squeezed, drawing him in with each little clench.

  So hot. So tight. So… He pulled in a sharp breath through his nose.

  “Dad?” Emma’s voice floated down the stairwell.

  Josh froze, his eyes jerking open at the same time Amanda’s did.

  Oh, God, not now. Not fucking now.

  “Mommy? Where are you?” Her feet drummed slowly against the stairs.

  “Shit,” Josh whispered. With an agonized groan, he pulled out of Amanda’s intoxicating warmth and eased his jeans up over his sensitive cock.

  Amanda moved like lightning, donning her clothes before he could consider handing them to her. “Coming, sweetie,” she called out as she stuffed her shirt back into her jeans.

  Josh sank into the couch and dropped his head against the back. “I need a minute.”

  With a quick nod, she vanished, leaving him to suffer alone.

  Thirty-one

  Amanda’s hands shook in time with the hammering of her heart as she intercepted her daughter in the kitchen. “What’s the matter, Emma?”

  “Aunt Olivia sent Dad down here for dinner.”

  Dad? No, she hadn’t misheard what Emma hollered from the stairwell. Her eyes narrowed a fraction. Had Josh told her to call him that? What in the hell would possess him to make a decision like that without consulting her?

  “You mean Josh.” She didn’t ask. “Olivia doesn’t want to join us?”

  Emma sashayed from side to side. “She’s working.”

  Behind Amanda, the floorboards creaked with Josh’s heavy footsteps. “I warned her you wouldn’t be pleased. But Olivia is Olivia. She asked me to bring her up whatever it was that smelled good.”

  He moved behind Amanda and fitted his hand in the small of her back. With a gentle brush of his fingertips, goose bumps skittered across her skin. She shivered, her body still primed with arousal.

  She covered her reaction by moving away from the delightful caress. Aroused or not, the idea he’d given Emma permission to call him dad left a sour taste in her mouth. “It’s stew, and I’ll get her a bowl.”

  “Can I take it to her, Mommy?”

  “That’s fine,” Amanda answered as she dished out a large serving. “I need to talk to Josh anyway.”

  Bouncing in place, Emma waited as Amanda set the bowl on a plate, added a handful of saltine crackers, and dropped a spoon into the thick stew. She handed her daughter the plate with the admonishment, “Don’t spill it.”

  “I won’t, Mommy.” Taking baby-steps, Emma departed for the stairs.

  Amanda drew in a deep breath. Leaning back against the counter, she turned to Josh, ignoring his impish smirk and the heat that brimmed in his eyes. “Did you tell Emma to call you dad?”

  He drew back in surprise. “Honey, you were there. You heard what I told her.”

  Sighing, Amanda shook her head. “This has to stop, Josh. You aren’t her dad—she can’t go wandering around in fantasy. Aunt Olivia is one thing, just like Uncle Lucas. But even that…Josh…” She trailed away as she covered her face with her hands. Nothing could make her remind him that he had no intentions of giving Emma the family she deserved. With another deep breath, she slid her hands down her cheeks, and dropped them to her side. “I’ll talk to her.”

  Without giving him opportunity to protest, she started for the stairs.

  “Amanda?”

  One foot on the bottom step, she asked, “Yes?”

  “Not tonight. It’s Christmas. Don’t spoil it for her. We can all sit down and talk about it when Christmas is over. A day and a half won’t harm anything, and it doesn’t bother me.”

  It bother’s me! She squelched the rising, angry, bellow with a purse of her lips.

  He crossed the room in five quick strides and caught her in his arms, tucking her head beneath his chin. “Don’t be angry, baby. I promise, we’ll all talk about it. I won’t let her get carried away, okay?”

  The steady drum of his heart and the comfort of his strong arms only served to remind her how very much she loved him and that being mad at him was nearly impossible. She shouldn’t be upset with him anyway. He hadn’t done anything out of line. Emma took it upon herself, and they both ought to be lucky Josh didn’t take issue with it. Another man would squirm as he found the quickest way out of the uncomfortable situation.

  Not Josh though. No, he wanted all the things that came with family, without having the family ties. Maybe it was her he objected to. He certainly didn’t have problems with giving Emma an idea of forever. Maybe all the years they spent apart just turned her into some comfortable place to cuddle up to.

  She edged out of his embrace. Reaching deep inside, she summoned a smile, hoping he wouldn’t notice her discontent. If he’d ever been right about anything…It was Christmas. She wouldn’t fight with him.

  Trailing a solitary fingertip down the center of his chest to his waist, she murmured, “I have a bubble bath planned for later.”

  A pained look flashed across his features as he groaned. “God, that sounds incredible. But baby, I’ve got to finish this project.”

  She blinked. The project? Of all the damn things. “On Christmas Eve?” She tried to keep her voice reasonable, but it came out as more of a shrill squeak.
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  “Yeah. I know.” He reached for her, attempting to draw her back against him.

  Twisting away, she clenched her jaw. “A project on Christmas Eve. Josh, I can’t believe you. This is supposed to be family time. But I suppose that’s where I went wrong. We aren’t family, are we?”

  His expression fell. In his green eyes, something she couldn’t recognize flashed. Pain? Regret? Acceptance of the truth? Had she finally said something that connected? It was about damn time.

  Whatever it was, it vanished when he blinked, and his jaw hardened. “I’ve got work to do, Amanda. I can’t get out of it just because you don’t agree with it. Excuse me.” He stalked past her and up the stairs.

  Amanda sank down on the steps, leaning against the wall as tears stung her eyes. Even work was more important than she. Sure, he might have wanted a quick tumble not more than twenty minutes ago, but he didn’t have time for more.

  When would she learn? No matter what Josh might feel inside his walled-off heart, he’d never let her get close enough to make a difference. Even Christmas, all the time they’d spent together lately, meant nothing compared to what he wanted for himself. And what he wanted didn’t include a future with her, unless she could bend to his terms.

  ****

  Josh toed open the guest room door, relieved to discover that Emma had wandered off to play in her room. Amanda’s words still burned like fire, and his chest tightened every time they echoed in his memory. Such bitterness clung to them—things he’d never heard in her voice.

  “You okay?” Olivia asked as she leaned back in the folding chair.

  He sat on the foot of the bed. “Amanda’s pissed.”

  “You expected that would happen. She’ll get over it.” With a carefree shrug, she bent back over the card table and picked up another reddish square. Applying a small dab of glue, she fit it into place, forming another portion of a brick wall.

  He’d expected it, yeah. What he hadn’t anticipated was how she cut right to the core of the matter and threw his hesitation about marriage back in his face.