Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1)

by Stoddard Hancock, L.

  Finley arrived at seven o'clock sharp. She had actually brought food to make him dinner and he was starting to get the dreaded feeling that she thought this was a date. After she cooked, Xander sat at the table and she opted to sit on his lap instead of in her own chair. She then proceeded to annoyingly feed him bites of the rancid tasting chicken she had cooked. Xander chugged a bottle of whiskey he had brought out, knowing very well that he was going to need it.

  As soon as he ate enough to satisfy her, she pulled him over to the couch, sat on the arm and positioned him between her legs. "Can we do it here tonight?" she asked, stretching up so she could nibble on his ear.

  "No," he said sternly.

  Finley pulled back and pouted. "Why not? We've had sex on your couch before."

  "On my old one."

  "Oh." She turned and glanced at it. "It looks the same."

  "It's not."

  It was. But looking at the spot Deryn so often occupied he knew he couldn't have sex there. It would be wrong to taint Deryn's spot like that.

  "Just get on my fucking bed already, will you?"

  "Whatever you say." She squealed as she ran to his bedroom.

  Deryn's head shot up from her book. Until that moment, she had been making a point to ignore Xander and whoever it was he had out there, but she couldn't help but recognize that irritating shriek.

  Standing up, she went over to the door and put her ear to it, but no sound was coming from the living room anymore. Then she looked at the wall separating her room from Xander's and gulped. She walked over to it and listened carefully.

  "Come on, Xander. Lighten up. Seriously, what's with you tonight?"

  "Just take off your clothes."

  "You're not going to help me?"

  "No. Fuck, Finley, you know I like to get straight to the point. Now, take off your clothes."

  Deryn jumped back from the wall and nearly tripped on her own feet. She caught herself before her stumble could make too much noise, then she began hyperventilating as she realized what Xander had done. He had brought her here. Finley Scout.

  Deryn couldn't breathe. She fell to her knees and gasped for air, urgently seeking some way to drown out the noise. But Xander was the only one capable of putting up a soundproof shield between their rooms.

  "No," she mumbled to herself while still trying to catch her breath. "Not her."

  Deryn's left side began to ache and she reached under her sweater, stroking her scarred flesh. This was the spot restricting her breathing. She cried as their noisy sex commenced, not even caring that her sobs were loud and hysterical. The two of them would be too distracted to notice anyway.

  Finally able to get to her feet, Deryn grabbed her comforter off the bed and wrapped it around her. She went over to the window and sunk down beside it, keeping her ears close to the glass in hopes that the gentle sound of rain might distract her. It didn't.

  Xander was having a hard time focusing as Finley bounced on top of him. He tried groping and sucking on her breasts - the one part of her he had always been quite fond of - to keep himself in the mood, but his mind kept wandering back to that damn robe. And it didn't help when his eyes drifted to his bathroom door. It had been only one week since he had been on top of Deryn in there, and Finley was the first girl he'd had in his room since.

  Finley moaned his name as she pulled his head in for a sloppy kiss, forcing his eyes to leave their current place of interest.

  Eager to get her lips off of his, Xander grabbed Finley by the waist and tossed her onto her back. He climbed on top of her and began thrusting vigorously, his gaze now focused on the wall in front of him. The one Deryn was behind.

  His head was suddenly flooded with visions of her. Her full lips, her creamy skin, the rosy blush of her lightly freckled cheeks. And the sweet, sweet sound of his name slipping from her mouth as he trailed his tongue down her neck.

  And then Xander was imagining her in that robe. That fucking robe which could hardly be considered sexy. He could see it wrapped around her, snuggled warmly against her skin. Then he was moving towards her, slipping it off one shoulder and then the other, letting it drop to the floor. Her beautiful yet scarred body was a vision as he reached out and touched it, grabbed it, caressed it, pressed it against his. It was his, just like she was.

  His .

  His hands moved into that mess of mahogany-brown hair and pulled her head towards his. Kissing her. Touching her. Slamming her against the wall and fucking her. It was all there and he could taste it. The sweet tang of her mouth as she writhed around him, clutching him, clawing him, moaning his name between parts of their lips, holding him in a way no one ever had before. Because she needed him. She needed him and he wanted her. Just once. Just to taste.

  Just to -

  Thrust!

  - fucking -

  Thrust!

  - taste!

  "Xander!" screamed the woman beneath him as she came undone.

  In three more thrusts Xander was finished. He bit down hard on his bottom lip to keep from screaming Deryn's name, tasting metal.

  His body eased as he began to catch his breath. He was confused for a moment when he looked down and noticed that Finley was the one staring back at him. It was not who he had expected.

  Xander rolled off of her, his eyes widening as he realized what he had just done. He had come while imagining he was having sex with Deryn.

  "Fuck," he whispered to himself, suddenly feeling like he was going to vomit.

  Finley moved so her head was resting on his chest. "Xander, that was ... wow. You've never fucked me like that before."

  He looked down at her curiously.

  "I mean, it's always good. You know it is. But that ... I don't know what that was but I can't wait for more."

  She brought her hand down and began to stroke him, but Xander was quick to snatch her wrist and push her off.

  "It's time to go, Finley."

  "What?" she asked, sitting up. "But it's barely nine. Curfew doesn't start for another three hours."

  "I don't care. I'm tired and I want to go to sleep."

  "And you're sure I can't stay?"

  "I said no, didn't I?" he yelled, rolling off the bed and getting to his feet. He headed for the bathroom. "I'm taking a shower." He had never felt so dirty before. "Be gone by the time I'm out." He slammed the door.

  After a very long and necessary soak, Xander was happy to find that Finley had listened and left. He changed into some sweats and grabbed his cigarettes off the dresser.

  On his way to the balcony, he glanced at Deryn's door. Even after that humiliating experience, he still had this strange urge to see her. As she was. Not the dirty image he had created in his own twisted mind. So he went over and let himself in.

  "Leon?" Xander poked his head inside and looked around. The bed was bare of the comforter, but he found it in a strange bundle beside the window. "Leon, what the fuck are you doing?"

  Silence.

  "Leon?" Xander took a cautious step into the room. "Are you alright?"

  Nothing.

  Noticing the comforter fidget a little, Xander walked across the room and crouched down beside it. He reached his hand out and touched what he hoped was her shoulder. "Leon, what -"

  Her body snapped and a hand shoved him back. "Don't touch me!" she shouted as he landed hard on his ass.

  "Leon, what the fuck?" he said, grabbing the comforter and pulling it off of her head.

  "I said don't touch me!" Deryn's hands flew out of it and she shoved him again, only much harder this time. "Stay the fuck away from me, Ruby!"

  Crinkling his brow, Xander asked, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

  "With me? What the fuck is wrong with me ? What the fuck is wrong with you ?"

  "What do you -"

  "How could you bring her here?" shouted Deryn, her face bright crimson and soaked from what might have been an hour's worth of tears.

  Xander's mouth dropped slightly. "Finley?"

  "Who els
e would I be talking about?" Deryn pulled the comforter back over her head. "Get out."

  "Look, Leon, I know the two of you never got along at Eagle, but aren't you being a bit dramatic?"

  Her head popped back out. "Are you an idiot?" she asked, her face twisting in disgust. "I've been a slave! And she's a fucking Guardian!"

  "Finley never owned you," said Xander, getting to his feet.

  "No, but her father did!" stated Deryn, standing up with him while still clutching the comforter. "You said you kept track of me, Ruby! I have a hard time believing you didn't know he owned me several times!"

  "I knew," said Xander, trying to recall exactly when that was. Maybe three years ago was the last time he took Deryn in. Before Finley was promoted from guard to Guardian, so she would have still been living at home.

  "Yes, well, your fucking girlfriend didn't like all of the attention her precious father gave me when her mother was right there! So you know what she did? When he wasn't home, she came into the closet he kept me locked in and she tortured me!"

  Xander stood frozen. He had never heard this before.

  "But no, not just a lash or a cut! That was too easy for her, and she just thought she was so much cleverer than that! So you know what she did?"

  Xander's throat grew raw as Deryn spoke. He shook his head weakly and said, "No," almost afraid to hear the answer.

  Deryn let the comforter drop and lifted her sweater so Xander could get a good look at a large scar covering most of her right side. A large, indented scar that was still glossy pink and fresh looking, even though it was years later. Xander instinctually reached out to touch it, but Deryn pulled her sweater back down before he could.

  "It's my biggest one. And it still hurts. It still fucking hurts me, Ruby! Finley thought if she scarred me then her father wouldn't want me, so she began experimenting with weaponry and developed a way to burn me and scar me with a wound that will never heal. And I have several smaller ones all over me. She wanted to get me everywhere but it wasn't fully developed yet, and it failed."

  Deryn paused for a moment when she was unable to stop a whimper. She wiped her cheeks before looking back at Xander, a horrible, raging fire visible in her eyes. He didn't like it.

  "And these." Deryn held out her wrists so Xander could get a good look at the dozens of marks all over them. "These deep ones here are from when her father used to tie me up so tight I couldn't even struggle. Back when I still tried!"

  Xander really wanted to grab her right now. To take her in his arms and hug her, apologize for being such an idiot and promise to seek revenge. But he didn't do that. Instead, all he said was, "I didn't know."

  "Of course you didn't! Because you never fucking asked! You should've asked, Ruby! You should've asked me before you brought a fucking Guardian here! You should've known! You should've fucking known better!" Deryn lunged forward and shoved him towards the door. "Get out!"

  "Leon, I'm sor -"

  "Get out!" she screamed, shoving him again and again until he was in the doorway.

  Xander grabbed the sides of it and tried to brace himself. "Leon, stop! Please, just let me explain -"

  "There is nothing for you to explain! I understand this is your apartment, and that you were kind enough to let me stay here! But this ... this is crossing the fucking line! Don't talk to me! Don't ever talk to me unless it's to say the curfew is over and security is limited enough for me to get the hell out of here! Understand?"

  "Leon, please -"

  "Get out, you selfish bastard!"

  "No! I -"

  Deryn grabbed her Element off of the dresser and pointed it at him, pressing the button for wind.

  Xander went flying backwards and landed hard against the arm of the couch. As soon as his eyes focused, he looked at her door just in time to see it slam. He ran over and pulled at the knob but she had locked it.

  "Leon!" he shouted while slamming his fist into the door. "I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry!"

  Xander knew he didn't say it much, but that was because he so rarely actually was. But this time he truly regretted what he had done, and he hated himself for giving into Finley. He didn't even want to sleep with her. It was all just a mistake. A horrible mistake.

  Giving up on ever getting in, Xander went to his room and began throwing things around.

  "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" he shouted as he punched the wall.

  Xander hated this. He hated that he was so affected by a scar on someone else's body. Her body. The same one he had been imagining beneath him not even thirty minutes earlier. The urge to vomit was back.

  He hurried to the bathroom and pulled the toilet seat up just in time to heave into it. When the sickness passed, he crawled over to the same wall he had sat against with her just last week.

  What the hell was wrong with him? The whole fucking thing was really taking a toll on him and he didn't like it. For the first time in his life, he felt like he wasn't in control. She was.

  "Leon," he whispered as he lay down on the cold tile. "Fucking bitch." Only, she wasn't, and he hated himself for even thinking it.

  And then Xander's mind drifted back to that robe. For some reason, he really wanted her to have it, but there was no way he could go into a store like that without raising suspicion. It was only Finley who had seen him that day but what if it had been someone who might actually question why he was about to walk into a women's store?

  And then he remembered. This was exactly what the fucker downstairs was for!

  Getting to his feet, Xander ran into his bedroom and dug through his sock drawer for his extra money.

  Once he had the cash, he ran out of his apartment, not even bothering to put on shoes.

  Xander didn't stop until he got to the third floor, where he immediately began banging on Bronson's door. It was several moments before Quigley answered.

  "Ruby, what the hell are you -"

  "I need Bronson," he demanded.

  Quigley raised his eyebrows. "Why?"

  "We're fucking lovers, asshole. Now, get him out here!"

  "Such language." Quigley smiled. "Hey, Bronson!" he called over his shoulder. "Your lover's here to see you!"

  "My what?" asked Bronson, coming to the door. "Ruby? It's, like, five minutes to curfew. What do you -"

  "I'll be quick," said Xander, stepping back so Bronson could come out.

  The other two men eyed each other skeptically. They each shrugged and Bronson stepped into the hallway, shutting the door behind him. "You okay, Ruby?" he asked, taking in his disheveled appearance.

  "I'm fine," he lied, "but I need you to do something for me."

  "Go on," said Bronson, crossing his arms.

  Xander pushed the money into his hand. "In the Shopping District there's this store. I don't know the name, but it's on the corner where that clock tower is. It's this women's store and there's this blue and fuzzy and completely ridiculous robe in the window."

  "Uh-huh ..."

  "And Leon needs it."

  Bronson crinkled his brow. "Why?"

  "She just does, alright?"

  "Okay. So why can't you get it?"

  "I tried! I fucking tried but every-fucking-where I go someone I know is there! I can't fucking get away from them!" Xander was fidgeting and pacing, clutching the sides of his head and pulling at his hair. It didn't even cross his mind that he probably looked insane.

  "Ruby ... you're kind of freaking me out."

  "Just get it, will you?"

  "Okay," said Bronson. "Anything else?"

  Xander thought about this. "A book. A real paper book in the bookstore right near there. Yesteryear . It's her favorite."

  "Done," said Bronson, pocketing the money. "You sure you're alright? When I saw Deryn earlier I got the feeling the two of you were in a fight or something."

  "We're not in a fight! Did she say we were in a fight?"

  "No, but she seemed to think you were avoiding her."

  "Why the fuck would I be avoiding her?" shouted Xander, h
is mind immediately returning to the bathroom floor.

  "I don't know. You tell me."

  "I'm not!"

  Bronson paused and eyed him curiously. "Ruby, promise me you're not going to do something stupid."

  "Of course I'm not going to do something stupid!" Again.

  "So you're not ... you don't ... I mean, you and Deryn ..."

  A loud siren sounded outside the building, informing everyone in the city that curfew was about to begin. "Get it, Bronson. Tomorrow."

  Xander turned to leave.

  "Ruby, wait," called Bronson. "I just wanted to warn you that there's supposed to be a thunderstorm tomorrow night."

  Xander looked back at him and cocked an eyebrow. "So?"

  "Well, I mean, I just thought you should know so you can prepare. Since Deryn's afraid of them and all."

  Xander blinked.

  "You didn't know?"

  He blinked again.

  Bronson rolled his eyes. Apparently, they were all picking up the habit. "The night you had me stay up there with her there was a thunderstorm. She got so freaked out that she ended up sleeping in the bathtub."

  Oh. Well, that explained why her bed had not been slept in. Xander shouldn't have felt relief about that but, for some reason, he did.

  "I'll take care of it."

  Without another word, Xander ran back to his apartment, shutting the door and locking it with only seconds left until curfew. The punishment for being caught by a S.U.R.G.E. past midnight was always different, and Xander had no desire to find out whether it was imprisonment, torture or death on the menu tonight.

  After staring at Deryn's door for several minutes, Xander went over and tried the knob again. Still locked. He sighed and headed to his room.

  He looked at his bed for a long while before tearing off the sheets and stuffing them into his trashcan, ridding it of any signs of Finley. Luckily, he had another set.

  "Fucking bitch," he muttered as he made the bed. And, this time, he meant it.

  Climbing into bed, Xander closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but he found himself having to get up and vomit every time his mind drifted to inappropriate thoughts of Deryn.