Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1)

by Stoddard Hancock, L.

  "Alright."

  Just then, a S.U.R.G.E. flew into his vicinity. It fluttered around him for a moment before buzzing in approval and zooming off.

  "It worked," he said to Finley through the line. "Let the president know we'll be installing the rest of them shortly."

  Xander didn't wait for her to answer before hanging up. The test was done and he was heading home. Hopefully, there wouldn't be a mess to clean up.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Deryn stared at the street in panic as Xander rode off on his hover-bike and Luka headed for the door to the building. "Shit," she whispered to herself.

  And then Soren hurried forward. She moved her position to follow him, just making him out as he disappeared through the same door as Luka.

  "Shit, shit, shit!" she said much louder this time.

  Deryn crawled to the door and slid it open, hurrying inside and back to her feet. Once the balcony door was shut and locked, she tossed her blanket and book into her room, then ran to the bathroom, grabbing every girly product Xander had given her and stuffing them in the cabinet under the sink. Then she moved like a whirlwind through the front of the apartment, searching for anything that was hers.

  The knob on the front door rattled. Deryn went white before running into her bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind her.

  "Th'fuck you doing, Sorey? If Xander didn't even want me up here then he sure as hell doesn't want you," she heard Luka say as he entered the apartment.

  "I have to use the bathroom, too."

  That voice ... that crackly, barely there voice sent chills down Deryn's spine. It was so different, but just the same.

  "Like hell you do," said Luka. "If this wasn't an emergency I'd drag you back down to the street right now. But you better believe I'll be quick."

  So would Deryn. When she heard Luka's footsteps head towards the bathroom, she moved around her room as quietly as she could, grabbing her things and stuffing them under the bed but holding onto her Element. Just in case. She wanted to clear out the closet too, but there was no time. All she could do was shut it and climb under the bed with her things, because Soren was already across the apartment and opening Xander's bedroom door.

  He was out of there quickly, walking in a circle around the living room before stopping by her door.

  Deryn put her hand over her mouth to drown out the sound of her breathing as her door creaked open. There were footsteps moving around the bed. She could see the shadows of his feet through the crack between the floor and the comforter. And then he stopped. By the closet. She didn't have much but she had enough to let him know someone was living here.

  She clenched her free fist as she was sure he reached for the handle of the closet door, readying himself to open -

  "Th'fuck you doing in here?" spat Luka, his angry footsteps marching into the room and shoving Soren back so his legs hit the bed. "You need to take a piss? Then go do it because you have no business in here!"

  Something clicked and Soren spoke, his voice still damaged but somehow clearer. "That shithead you call a friend didn't want us coming up here for a reason and you know it."

  "I know no such thing. That shithead's always been private. Now go take a piss!"

  Another click. "I don't have to take a fucking piss!" shouted Soren, storming out of the room. Luka followed, making sure to shut the door behind him.

  The two continued to bicker in the front room. Deryn kept hoping they would leave but their voices never got any farther. Until she heard the balcony door slide open. Then they both must have stepped outside.

  She stayed where she was, not moving, not even breathing out of fear that she might give away her position, even though they were no longer near her.

  When Xander arrived back at his building, he drove his hover-bike directly into the garage and leapt off of it, tossing his helmet somewhere as he ran out and shut the door.

  When he got outside, he looked up at his balcony, his body burning as he saw Luka and Soren leaning over the side, Luka waving cheerfully.

  "Shit," he whispered as he ran for the door, scanning his wristband and typing in a code since Luka had the key. The moment the door was unlocked, he ran inside and darted up the stairs three at a time. By the time he got to his apartment he was winded, but he didn't care.

  The first thing he noticed was that all doors were shut. Then he went for the balcony, his eyes bulging as he caught Luka and Soren smoking his cigarettes. "What the fuck are you doing?"

  "Hey, Xan," said Luka, glancing over his shoulder at him. "Better not let the president know you have these."

  Xander looked at Soren. "Can you even smoke that with your throat?"

  Soren shrugged.

  "What would your brother say if he saw you with that?"

  Soren chuckled and pressed the button on his collar. "He'd probably be more interested to know that you were smoking them."

  "You going to tell on me, then?" asked Xander, walking to the edge of the balcony and glancing over the side. Deryn wasn't dangling, so that was good.

  "I don't see any reason to mention this. As long as you do what I've asked."

  Luka glanced sideways at him, obviously curious about what they were talking about.

  "I said we'd look for her and we are. What more do you expect from me?"

  "I expect you to find her," said Soren, standing up and tossing his cigarette over the side.

  Xander could not help but notice the way Luka grimaced at the mention of Deryn. When he caught Xander staring, he quickly pulled it back.

  "So did it work?" asked Luka.

  Xander nodded.

  "Guess we better get a move on then," said Soren, heading inside.

  Luka took one last drag of his cigarette before putting it out and following him. Xander was right behind them.

  "You two are fully capable of doing this without me," he said, walking over to meet them at the door. "If there are any complications figure it out yourself, because I'm done for the night."

  "Whatever," said Luka, tossing him his keys and heading out first. "Come along, Sorey! Time to leave the hermit to his cave."

  Soren gave Xander a curious look before following Luka. The moment he was out the door, Xander shut and locked it. He stood there for a second, trying to catch the breath he had been holding since the moment they got there. When he turned around, Deryn was standing in the doorway of her bedroom.

  "Were you on the balcony before?" he asked with a gulp.

  She nodded and slowly walked towards him.

  "Glad you got in alright. Thank our lucky stars for five floors and no elevator."

  She reached him, her eyes both cold and blazing as she stared at him for a moment. And then, without warning, her hand lifted and she slapped him hard across the face. He stumbled but still managed to stay on his feet.

  "How dare you! How dare you, Xander Ruby! How could you not tell me that he was alive?"

  "I didn't want to worry you," he said while rubbing his aching face.

  "But I'm already worried! Every single day I'm worried! And Soren ... He's the one who wants you to find me?"

  "Both him and Veli," answered Xander honestly.

  "What does he want with me?" she screamed, tears visible in her eyes.

  "He wants to possess you."

  Deryn whimpered, but quickly covered her mouth. "It will be worse. He will be so much worse to me after what I did to him." She paced back and forth. "I can't go back to him! I won't! I'd rather die! I -"

  "Calm down, Leon!" shouted Xander, grabbing her shoulders and holding her still. "I'm not going to let him get close enough to lay a hand on you! You understand?"

  "But -"

  "No buts. Soren will never have you again. I promise. I won't let him, even if it means killing him in a room full of Guardians. You will never be his."

  Deryn sobbed but still nodded. She wiped her eyes, which was pretty much pointless since the tears kept falling. Xander pulled her close and held her tight. Deryn wra
pped her arms around his waist and melted into him, that wonderful scent of his filling her nostrils.

  But he let her go far too quickly, without even so much as a kiss on the top of her head, which she had become quite accustomed to.

  "What do you want for dinner?" he asked, back to that cold, detached manner he had been exhibiting for days now.

  "I'm not hungry," she said following after him. "Xander."

  He turned and looked at her.

  "Xander, please stop playing games with me."

  He said nothing.

  "I know what you're trying to do and I won't let you manipulate me."

  He cocked an eyebrow before flashing that crooked grin of his. He'd called it. Less than a week.

  "Fine!" she shouted, obviously not appreciating the silent treatment. "You win, alright? I cave. I don't like you like this. I want you to be like how you were before. I want us to be like how we were before."

  Continuing with his deafening silence, Xander crossed his arms and waited for her to go on.

  "I was wrong," she admitted. "We're not nothing. This -" She motioned between them. "- isn't nothing."

  Xander's mouth twisted. They were on the right track but ... "So what is it then?"

  Deryn blushed and cast her eyes to the floor. "I don't know. A friendship, I suppose."

  Xander raised his eyebrows. "Is that it?"

  She sighed while looking up at him sadly. "I don't know what you want from me."

  He bit his cheek and looked off to the side. It was a good, long while before he looked back at her and said, "I want more, Leon. This -" He motioned between them. "- whatever we've been doing for the past few weeks isn't enough."

  With a heavy sigh, Xander went to the closet for his coat. One step forward, two steps back. Fucking Leon ... Why wouldn't she just admit it already?

  "Xander." she called, following him. "Xander, please don't go."

  "Why?" he asked.

  She didn't have an answer.

  Rolling his eyes, Xander said, "I need some air."

  "Please stay," she pleaded. "I'm sorry I don't feel the same way but -"

  He whipped towards her. "You see, that's the thing. You do feel the same way. I know you do but, for some reason, you keep denying it, even to yourself."

  Deryn choked as she tried to hold in another whimper. She hated this. Why couldn't she just be honest with him? Tell him everything that was holding her back. Tell him about his father.

  "I understand you've been through something traumatic. I know it doesn't always seem like it, but I do. But you're never going to get past all this shit if you keep lying to yourself. Don't let those bastards win by denying your feelings for someone who actually cares."

  "Are ... are you saying you -"

  "Care?" he finished, his face igniting for the first time in days. "Of course I care! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if I didn't care! I care so much that it fucking makes me sick at night! I'm not ..." He gulped. "I'm not used to this, Leon, any more than you are. I've trained myself not to care and, for years, it's worked just fine. Then you come into my life and, all of a sudden, I don't know what I'm doing! I'm not even concerned for my own fucking life anymore! Just yours."

  Deryn found herself slowly moving towards him. She just wanted to touch him, to hold him, to breathe him in. But, before she could get there, he turned away.

  "I'm going out. When I get back, don't talk to me unless you've figured yourself out. I don't associate with liars."

  And with that, Xander opened the door and slammed it behind him, leaving Deryn alone

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Several hours passed before Xander returned. Deryn was lying on her bed and jumped to her feet when she heard the front door open, but stopped when her hand reached her knob. What if he wasn't alone? She clutched her aching heart at the realization that Xander coming home with someone wasn't so farfetched.

  And then there were voices. Faint so she could barely hear them, but definitely multiple.

  Tears were caught in Deryn's eyes as her greatest fear suddenly became a reality. Someone was with him.

  Without even thinking, she left her room and followed the voices to Xander's bedroom door. She put her ear to it and listened, but was unable to make out anything. A horrible pang shot through her heart. She brought her hand up and placed it flat on the cold, artificial wood, just trying to feel some part of him in there. She had let this happen. She had pushed him away and into some other woman's -

  Deryn stumbled forward as the door burst open. She instinctually took up a battle stance, even though she had no idea what or who to expect.

  "Evening, Leon."

  Xander was directly in front of her, watching her with amusement. She released her stance and looked around. He was alone. But then what was ...

  Her eyes landed on the small radio sitting on top of his dresser. Her radio. Aimed at the wall separating their rooms. Glancing at his clock, she saw that it was a few minutes past the top of the hour. Right around the time Blackbird always played. So the voices she heard were Talon and Dax and ... Paul McCartney?

  Xander turned the radio off and leaned against the dresser, grinning widely.

  Deryn scowled. "You jerk! I said no more games, Xander! How dare you trick -"

  She didn't get the chance to finish before Xander had her in his arms and slammed against the wall.

  "I knew you were a liar," he said, his grin never faltering.

  And then his lips were crashing into hers. Deryn remained completely still as Xander kissed her, unsure of how she was supposed to react in that moment. She was angry. Definitely angry. But ...

  "Admit it," he whispered into her ear before running his tongue along it. "Admit that you want this just as much as I do."

  "I ..."

  "Admit it." Xander pulled back and looked at her hungrily. He held his hands against the wall on either side of her, pinning her there as he continued to watch her with lust-filled eyes.

  "No, I -"

  The moment she began to protest, his lips were back on hers. Massaging, licking, biting, sucking, doing everything he could to drive her absolutely mad. And it was working.

  Deryn tried to resist, but a few more moments of this and she knew she couldn't. Her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him into her. Who was she trying to fool? She couldn't fight this. It was too strong, too powerful, too ...

  "Fucking beautiful," he said, finishing her thought as she finally began to respond. "Tell me, Leon. I need to hear the words."

  "I ..." Deryn gasped as he pressed his firmness into her. "I want this!" she blurted out to her own surprise. "I've wanted this since the night you first stayed with me." And that was the truth, something she hadn't realized until that moment. She'd felt safe with him that night, and that security had changed everything.

  Xander pulled back, grinning widely as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Victory had never tasted so sweet. "Then that's all you had to say."

  He went in for her lips again and Deryn took this moment to completely take him in. His scent, his touch, the way he felt beneath her fingertips. She needed more.

  "I'm still mad at you," she said between parts of their lips.

  "It wouldn't be right if you weren't."

  She loved the way she could feel his smile pressed against her.

  Wrapping his arms around her waist, Xander picked Deryn up and carried her over to his bed. He threw her in its center and climbed on top of her, determined to keep any loss of contact as minimal as possible, so she would never get a chance to be overcome with doubt.

  Deryn's hands gripped the sides of his shirt and Xander instantly knew what she wanted. He pulled back for just a moment to pull it off. After tossing it aside, he took something out of the drawer in his nightstand. Deryn watched closely as he pulled a black piece of cloth over his guard wristband.

  "What's that for?" she asked.

  "So we don't have a repeat
performance of last time."

  Before Deryn had a chance to ask any more questions, Xander caught her face between his palms and leaned down, kissing her tenderly as she ran her hands along his bare chest, once again stopping just above his heart.

  Xander trailed his fingers down her face, her neck, her arms, not stopping until he reached the bottom of her shirt. He began to lift it, but her hands were quick to yank it back down.

  He pulled back and stared down at her wide, frightened eyes.

  "I'm not afraid of your scars, Leon."

  "I know. But I -"

  Xander reached over and turned off the lamp on his nightstand. "Better?" he asked.

  Deryn nodded. Her hands gave and he was able to take off her shirt. Even in the dark, Xander could still see the beauty in the body he finally had the chance to caress. While he was presently appreciative that he had never thought to buy her a bra, it did dawn on him that he should probably do that. Mental note for later.

  Running his hands up her stomach and towards her breasts, Xander paused before gripping them for the first time. She bit her lip as he touched her delicately. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, kissing her softly as he finally took it all in. He was finally getting what he wanted. He was finally getting her. And it was as beautiful as he imagined.

  Xander ran his hands through Deryn's hair while her arms wrapped around his back. His bare chest rubbed against hers, and the sensation of skin against skin caused him to moan into her mouth.

  He needed more.

  Xander wanted all of her tonight but, as an aspiring realist, he was fully aware that this might not happen right away. Which was why he was so taken off guard when her hands moved between them and started to undo his pants.

  He pulled away and stared at her. She sucked on her bottom lip and sheepishly looked away.

  "Don't do that if you won't be able to follow through."

  Deryn took a deep breath beneath him, causing her chest to press harder against his. By god, he wanted to taste those breasts. But not yet. Not without the -