"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on!" Quigley suddenly shouted. "Before I go anywhere, there is something very important I think we all need to discuss."
"And what's that?" asked Bronson.
They all waited.
Quigley looked at Deryn and asked, "Are you the cupcake girl?"
Bronson laughed.
Xander rolled his eyes. "Why are you both so obsessed with that fucking cupcake?"
"Is that a yes?"
No one answered and Bronson dragged Quigley outside. Xander looked hesitantly at Deryn before following. "Don't you try anything, Luka."
"Yeah, I'm tied to a chair!" he called after him. "Th'fuck you think I'm gonna do?"
As soon as they were all gone and the door to the balcony was closed, Deryn grabbed another chair from around the kitchen table and put it in front of Luka. She sat down and crossed her arms. "So what did you want to talk about?"
"Let's start with how you ended up here."
Deryn thought. "Well, it wasn't planned, if that's what you mean. I was out on the streets and Xander recognized me, so he brought me here."
"And you just willingly walked into a Guardian's apartment?"
"No. I didn't want his help, but there were guards and Guardians everywhere. I was out of options, so I took a chance." She smirked. "You almost caught me, you know. On the tram."
Luka's eyes widened. "You were the girl he told Veli not to wake?"
"That's right."
"Well, damn. But that was over three months ago. How long have you two been fucking?"
Deryn's jaw clenched. "I'm not answering that."
"Why not?"
"Because it's personal and absolutely none of your business."
"And is it none of Xander's business that his father took your virginity?"
Deryn's heart stopped. Every part of her fell limp from her jaw to her arms, and she was unable to hold her body or spirit together as she looked sadly at Luka.
"He doesn't know, does he?"
Deryn cast her eyes downward and slowly shook her head.
"That's what I thought. Xander would never be with you if he knew."
"H-how ..."
"Do I know?" finished Luka.
She nodded.
"I was there, Leon. Forced to watch that disgusting display before the president upgraded me from guard to Guardian. I was just lucky I wasn't one yet, or else my father probably would've made me take my turn with you."
Tears dripped slowly from Deryn's eyes as she remembered that horrible night. The roaring thunder, the smile on Saevus's face, the shameful look in Atticus Ruby's eyes as his president pushed him forward, forcing him to steal her innocence only hours after losing his wife. And he did it. Even though he had no desire for her, he still did it.
"Leon!"
The sound of Deryn's name brought her back to reality. She looked at Luka and said in a cracked voice, "Please, don't tell him. I do plan to but ... there's no good way to tell someone that."
"You should've told him before."
"I know. And I meant to, but I didn't want him to look at me differently. For the most part, Xander is really good about holding back those pitiful looks I hate so much. But if he knows about -" She gulped. "- his father, then it won't be the same."
"Obviously," he scoffed.
Deryn sighed. "Please."
Luka gazed back at her for a moment, the desperation in her eyes making even him want to give her that pitiful look she apparently hated so much. To get her to stop, he nodded.
"Thank you."
"But for my silence we're going to have to come up with some sort of compromise," he said. "Even you have to admit you're an idiot if you really think clonking me on the head will make me forget about this."
Deryn shrugged. "Maybe. But I'm not letting you out of here without doing something. I have no reason to trust you."
"Other than agreeing to keep your disgusting secret?"
Deryn's jaw clenched.
Luka sighed. "I didn't mean that," he said. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. About everything, but especially my father and his treatment of you. He can be a bit ... well, he's mental."
"Yes, I know," said Deryn. "Xander told me about what he had Saevus do to you."
Luka nodded solemnly. "I'm going to tell you something," he said after a moment. "To prove that you can trust me."
"How will I know what you're telling me is real?"
"You'll know," he said, his tone serious.
Deryn leaned back in her chair and waited.
It took Luka a moment, but then he began to tell her a story. A secret he had never shared with anyone before.
"My father has been taking in slaves from the slave trade for as long as I can remember, but it never affected me. Not really. It was just part of everyday life at my house. And then, five years ago, you came."
Luka stared deep into Deryn's eyes. As much as she wanted to, she didn't turn away, and she stared straight back at him. It was while looking into those dark eyes that she realized he was not challenging her. There was nothing but sincerity in those almost black eyes. Sincerity and regret.
"My father was the first to own you after Saevus decided the slave trade was the best place to hide you, and seeing you there - dragged in and already beaten - I suddenly realized that I knew you. You were a real person who I'd trained with, talked to, even laughed with once."
One corner of Deryn's mouth twitched upwards as she remembered the moment he spoke of. "When Elvira was teaching us the most efficient way to customize our Elements - according to her."
"And fell flat on her face while going over to criticize Wyatt on his heavy hands," finished Luka, chuckling softly. "She fell right between your table and mine, and we looked at each other and laughed our asses off."
"Even back then I couldn't fake sympathy for that terrible woman," said Deryn.
Luka's smile faded. "None of the slaves had ever felt real before you. They were nothing to me, just objects passing through the night. Faceless. But you ... you had a face, and it was defeated. That first night after my father was finished with you, I sat outside the basement listening to you cry. I wanted to get you out but I didn't know how, so I did the only thing I could. I brought you food and water, and slipped it through the door before you could see me."
Deryn blinked. Throughout the years, every time she had been Barath's slave there was always food and water for her. "You did that? I always thought it was a sympathetic servant."
"No, it was me," said Luka. "And after you left, suddenly they all had faces. Every last slave. So -"
He took a deep breath.
"- I helped them all. I gave them food and water, and on nights my father didn't come home I let them sleep in one of our spare bedrooms. I know it wasn't much, but I did my best to make it easier for them. For all of you."
Another deep breath.
"And then I met Anna." Suddenly, Luka was staring into her eyes again. The sincerity behind his was even stronger than before. "She wasn't your usual slave. Come to think of it, I don't even really know how she ended up in the slave trade. I guess the president wanted to keep someone from finding her. But Anna was older, and the only reason my father ever even took her in was because she was an amazing cook. He let her eat our leftovers and sleep on the floor in the pantry, even allowing her a blanket and a pillow, so she didn't need me the way the others did. But Anna ... she took me under her wing. Inviting me into the kitchen with her, teaching me things about cooking, just talking with me like no one had before.
"But as the years went on I became aware that Anna wasn't well. Maybe sleeping on a pantry floor with a blanket would be a step up for a younger person, but the slave trade was taking its toll on her. She needed out. So while she was staying with the Firmans I went there pretending I wanted to see Wyatt. After twenty minutes or so I said I had to use the bathroom, but instead I went to the closet where I knew they kept her and I ... I gave her a knife."
Deryn froze.
"I bought it at the Black Market so it couldn't be traced back to me. It was a silver knife with a spear point, and the handle was wooden with two lines spiraling around it that crossed each other. Ever seen anything like it?"
She had actually, and it was currently burning a hole in her pocket. "It might sound familiar."
"It sounds familiar because you used it. I know you did because Anna told me. She gave up her life so you could live. That's why you can trust me. Why you should let me help you. Because it's what Anna would've wanted -"
He gulped.
"- if she was still with us."
Deryn sighed and broke their eye contact to stare at a spot on the floor. She knew she shouldn't, but she actually believed him. The knife the old woman had given her was not an average kitchen knife, and Guardians weren't exactly known for keeping such trinkets. They preferred firepower.
"I never knew her name," admitted Deryn, fiddling with the knife in her pocket. "There isn't much conversation during the slave trade. The night I escaped was the first time she ever talked to me."
"It was Anna Bellamy," said Luka. "Her granddaughter is an Outsider who trained with us. Eva –"
"Evangeline," finished Deryn. "I remember her. We were from different villages, but taken around the same time so we were in isolation together." She paused. "What happened to her?"
"She escaped with the Resistance during the battle at Eagle. Her father's family still lived in the city and were taken into custody the moment it was discovered she was gone. Anna was the last of them."
Deryn frowned and continued to fiddle with the knife. She then stopped and took it out of her pocket. "I believe everything you've told me," she said, "but how do I know you're not out for revenge since my life was spared and Anna's wasn't?"
"Guess you'll just have to take a chance. That's what got you here with Xander, isn't it?" he said with a smile.
"Yes, but the difference is with him I was out of options, but with you I have at least three."
Luka cocked an eyebrow.
"I knock you in the head until your unconscious and hope you forget about this, I hold you prisoner, or I kill you. Of course, if we go into the ways I could kill you, the number of options drastically grows." She smirked.
He rolled his eyes. "We both know the only real option there is number two, and Xander will tell you that it's too risky."
At that moment, a voice outside grew louder than the others. Deryn turned her head and saw Bronson yelling about something. And then it clicked.
"I'll make you a deal, Luka. In a minute here I'm going to call Xander back in and he's going to decide what we're going to do with you. You're his friend and it's his decision, not mine." She paused and gave him a sly smile. "But he'll be much more likely to trust you if I say I do, which I will if you answer one question for me honestly."
"And what's that?" he asked, thinking there was no possible way the question could be that bad.
"What happened between you and Bronson the night he took you home?"
Luka blushed. As it turned out, it was 'that bad'.
"And there's no use lying about it because he already told me everything. I just want to hear it from you, to see if you're truly being honest with me."
He took a deep breath. "Umm ..."
"You have thirty seconds to tell me before I call Xander back in."
"Okay, okay!" he said hurriedly. "It's not that big a deal."
"You don't have to convince me," she said.
"I know." Luka stopped and took a deep breath. Then while staring at the floor he quickly blurted out, "Itoldhimtosuckmeoff!"
"I'm sorry?" said Deryn, leaning in. "I didn't quite catch that."
Luka grimaced but still cleared his throat. Then, very clearly, he said, "I told him to suck me off, and he did. Happy?"
His eyes shot up and met hers. He was a bit surprised to see the bewilderment behind them. And then came the laughter.
"Oh my god," she said, covering her mouth to stifle the chuckles. "He did? I thought maybe in your drunken state the two of you kissed or something, but -" Her laughter grew stronger.
Luka went white. "You said you knew!"
"I lied," she said, laughing away. "Bronson doesn't kiss and tell. At least he doesn't tell me."
Her laughter kept growing until she practically fell out of her chair, stumbling a little before catching herself. And then it tipped. She hit the floor hard, but her laughter didn't cease.
Hearing the commotion, Xander ran inside and knelt down beside her. "Deryn, what happened? Are you alright?"
She looked at him, and then past him to where Bronson was standing. The laughter continued as she practically rolled on the floor. And, she had to admit, the laughter felt good.
"It's not funny!" shouted Luka from his chair. "Why'd you do that?"
"Why'd you believe me?" she asked while sitting up. Seeing Luka sprouted a new round of giggles.
"What have you two been doing in here?" asked Xander, helping her back to her feet.
"Talking," answered Deryn. "Sharing secrets." She chuckled again. "He wanted to prove that we can trust him."
"There's no need for any of that," said Xander. "I can already tell you that we can't."
Luka glared at him. "Excuse me? We've been friends since we were fucking babies and you don't trust me?"
"It's not that I don't trust you," said Xander. "It's that I don't want to have to deal with another fucking person. Enough people already know about this. Besides, you enjoy being a Guardian."
"No I don't!"
"Could've fooled me."
"And you could've fooled me !" shouted Luka. "It's all a game, isn't it? We do what we have to to stay alive! That's it!"
"Why do you want in on this, anyway?" asked Xander. "If you want to stay alive so bad then helping Deryn isn't the way to go."
"You're right, it's a risk and I would rather not be any part of this!" Luka sighed and looked at Deryn again. "But Anna gave you that knife. She wanted you to live and I'll be damned before I let her death be in vain." He gulped. "I never had a grandmother or even a mother of my own, and Anna ... she was kind to me. I know she was a slave but I never saw her that way. I never saw any of them that way. Not after you."
"You gave me food," said Deryn with a frown. "It really was you?"
Luka blushed. He cast his eyes timidly to the floor. "I want to help you."
"Well, you can't," said Xander.
"Tell him about his father, Xander," said Deryn suddenly. "He should know what Veli and the others are doing."
Xander looked at her lividly.
"He should know."
Xander didn't like it, but every day he found it more and more difficult to say no to her. So he crossed his arms and turned to Luka. "Veli threatened me. He said he was sick of me and if I didn't find Deryn then he would have each and every person I cared about killed. You were second on the list, and your father has volunteered to do the dirty work."
Luka's mouth fell open as he continued to gaze at his oldest friend. He shook his head and said, "Why am I not surprised? That bastard's had it out for me ever since I took his seat."
Xander nodded. "So what exactly is your plan here, Deryn? I'm not just letting him walk out of here."
"I know," she said, "but I think he can be useful. And I would really feel better about you spending your days with other Guardians if I knew one of them was on your side."
Xander thought for a second. And then he remembered. He reached into the hidden inside pocket of his coat and pulled out a small chip. "This just might be your lucky day, Luka."
But Luka didn't look quite so sure. "What's that?"
"This is a prototype of a mind control chip. Something Veli informed me of by threatening me with it. Aside from minor memory loss when removed, it's said to be completely flawless. You're going to be my test dummy."
Luka's eyes widened. "Fuck. No."
"It really is our best option," said Deryn, taking a closer look at th
e chip. Xander had told her about its existence, but this was her first time actually seeing it.
"No!" shouted Luka. "No, I will not let you take away my freewill! I'd rather you bonk me over the head to try and erase my fucking memories than do that!"
"We won't take away your freewill," said Deryn. "We can order you to keep that. Can't we?" She looked at Xander expectantly.
"I believe we can."
"There you go!" she said enthusiastically. "We just need to make it so you can't talk about me being here outside of these walls."
"But what about him?" asked Luka, motioning towards Quigley. "Are you going to plant a fucking chip in him, too?"
Quigley's eyes widened in terror.
"No," said Xander. "I only have one."
"And we can trust him," said Bronson, leaning against the back of the couch. "Remember, Ruby, you have the same dirt on him that you have on me. So we're all good." He gave Xander a thumbs up.
Xander grunted. "Clearly, this was a fucking awful day for me to leave the city."
"Seems that way," said Bronson with a smirk. "Personally, I'm happy this is all out in the open. At least now I won't have to constantly convince Quigley that we're not actually lovers."
Xander ignored him and turned back to Luka. "So what will it be? The mind control chip, or are you mysteriously going to disappear for awhile?"
Luka narrowed his eyes and shook his head. "Mind control chip, you fucking ass."
"Oh, wonderful!" shouted Bronson, the only one who seemed pleased with this outcome.
"Fine," said Xander, walking behind Luka and crouching so he had access to his wrists. He had to rearrange the binds a bit, but he was able to get his citizen wristband positioned right to insert the chip. "I really am sorry about this, Luka, but it has to be done."
"Funny that I need to be kept under control when you're busy taking advantage of the former slave you claim to want to protect," said Luka under his breath, so only Xander could hear.
Xander said nothing, and Luka fixed his eyes on Deryn. She tried to give him a smile. Then Xander stepped between them, and Luka realized his binds had been released.
"Now, let's see what this thing can do. Luka, go fetch me a glass of water."
Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) Page 31