And before Luka had a chance to shout at Xander to get his own fucking water, his feet were pushing him up and carrying him towards the kitchen.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Deryn sat on the bed in the room she shared with Xander, fresh out of the shower and wearing nothing but her robe. Every few seconds, she glanced at the photos that were now propped on the nightstand. And then her eyes moved to the snow globe just beside them. She sighed and reached for it, giving the knob on the bottom a few twists so the song would play. She didn't know what it was, just some old song she had never been able to find on any of her records, but it was beautiful.
The front door opened. Bronson called his familiar, "Olly olly oxen free!" and she went out to meet him.
"Did you get it?" she asked.
"Get what?" asked Luka, who was lying on the couch and thumbing through Complex Conundrums . Ever since he found out about his father he didn't like to be home, but ever since Xander installed a mind control chip in his wristband he didn't like to be around him either so if they weren't working the same shift he made a point to leave before Xander got home.
"None of your business," Bronson said to Luka, "and you bet I did," he added to Deryn. "It's time to get this party started. And then I'll tell you all about the gorgeous hunk of man I met on the tram. We're going out later."
Bronson skipped over to her, his shoulder bag swinging from his hip as he eyed Luka with a sly smile. He grabbed a skeptical Deryn and pulled her towards the bathroom while Luka tried to hide his furrowed brow behind the book.
Once alone, Bronson sat her on the closed toilet seat and dug through his bag, first taking out mascara, then eyeliner, blush, lipstick, and some sort of beige-colored liquid.
"They didn't have any sponges so we're just going to have to make do with our hands."
"I have no idea what that means," she said.
"For the liquid foundation," he answered, holding up the small bottle of beige liquid. "Do you want to apply it or should I?"
"You do it." She closed her eyes tightly.
Bronson shrugged. "Okay, but I haven't exactly done this before either." He put a dollop in his hands and spread it over her face. He quickly realized he had used way too much. After a quick wash of his hands, he rubbed the excess off and focused on spreading it evenly.
Once he was satisfied, he moved on to the blush, applying just a small amount to the small brush it had come with and applying it to her cheeks. He didn't quite like the end result and ended up rubbing it in with his fingers.
"Bronson, could you stop please?" said Deryn, pulling away from him.
"Why?" he asked, crinkling his nose as he lowered his hand.
"I don't know, I just - I'm starting to have second thoughts about this."
"Why?" he asked again. "You said you wanted to do something to make Ruby happy and we both agreed that this is the best -"
"I know!" she shouted. "But I just don't think I'm ready!"
Deryn stood up. She pulled her robe tightly around her body and cast her eyes shamefully to the floor.
"You probably aren't," said Bronson with a frown. "But will you ever be?"
"I don't know," she said dryly, "but I want to be."
"Then I think you need to be more forceful about it. You've been through a lot, Deryn, and you're not going to get past all of it by sitting back and waiting to be healed. And if you're not going to just tell him how you feel ..."
Deryn chuckled halfheartedly. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready for that."
"Well, could you at least tell me how you feel?" asked Bronson with a wide, teeth-baring grin.
Looking at him very seriously, Deryn reached her hand out and took his. "Bronson, I like you very much. As a friend." She smirked.
Bronson rolled his eyes and said, "Not what I meant."
"I know," she said, letting go of his hand. "But, the truth is, I don't know how to describe my feelings for Xander. There are no words for it. Not the right ones, anyway." Deryn closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, images of Xander instantly flooding her mind. When she opened her eyes again, she retook her seat on the toilet. "Okay, let's try this again."
With a smile, Bronson finished fixing her blush. He then moved onto the eyeliner and mascara - relieved to discover that she wasn't much of a blinker and he had a fairly steady hand - but he refused to do the lipstick out of fear he would get it everywhere and ruin the beautiful job he had done with the foundation.
While working on her lips in the mirror, Deryn was too focused to notice Bronson leave the bathroom. He came back a minute later waving around her black and pink bra.
"Are you wearing this one?" he asked. "Because I remember Ruby being particularly fond of it when we got it for you."
Deryn turned bright-red before whipping around and grabbing it from him. "I don't know," she said. "I haven't really thought about it." That was a lie. Ever since Deryn had decided to do this, she had not stopped thinking about what she should wear. This particular bra had come up in her thoughts several times.
"Well, I think you should," he said, taking it back and holding it up to his chest. "With some lacy black underwear. I know we got you some."
Deryn blushed brighter.
"Aw, cupcake, after all of the time we've spent together you're still so shy around me." Bronson gave her cheek a pinch.
Deryn batted it away. "I don't see you telling me what you plan to wear the next time you try to seduce Luka."
Bronson smirked. "If I'm going to seduce someone then I won't be wearing anything." He paused. "And who says there will be a next time?"
Deryn rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. You've been messing with him ever since he made it clear that he wasn't interested in a next time."
"Have I?" he said innocently.
"Yes, you have."
"Maybe. But it's not like it matters."
Deryn looked at him curiously.
"Luka's not gay, Deryn. He's just lazy."
"What?"
"That night I seduced him," he said mockingly, "it wasn't even me who instigated it. It was him, and he did it for one reason and one reason only."
She waited.
"Because he was horny, and I was there and willing. He knew that and he used it to his advantage."
"His advantage?"
"Why do it yourself when you can have someone else do it for you?" Bronson winked. "The reason I've been messing with him, as you put it, is because I want to see how open he might be."
"And just what conclusion have you drawn from this little experiment of yours?" she asked.
"That he'd be open to a repeat performance. But I'm not sure he'd ever return the favor, and that's a problem."
Deryn looked to the floor so he could not see her blush again.
Bronson laughed. "Your innocence is so fucking adorable, I can't even stand it. Does this mean you've never returned the favor?"
She didn't answer.
"Well, if you do end up going through with this tonight then maybe you should start with that. I can already tell you that Ruby is a fan."
Deryn's eyes shot up, going excessively wide as her jaw fell to the floor.
"No, no, not like that!" said Bronson quickly. "He's just told me things. About his past conquests, you know?"
Moving her eyes back to the floor, Deryn quietly said, "I wouldn't know what I was doing."
"And this is why you have me as a friend," he said with a bright smile. "Your little problem just happens to be my field of expertise."
~
Deryn stood alone in the bathroom, wearing nothing but her black and pink bra and lacy black underwear. She looked in the mirror at the face Bronson had painted on for her.
She tucked her hair behind her ear and walked into the bedroom. Xander would be home soon. She paced around, her hands fidgeting nervously as she waited. The clock was ticking much slower than usual.
Deryn sat on the bed and tried to calm herself. Her eyes drew to the large scar on her si
de. The one Finley had given her. She wished she could get rid of it somehow, even if it was just for the night. Bronson had tried to put some of that foundation on it but to no avail.
Tracing the scar with her fingers, Deryn sighed heavily. Even though Xander never stared at any of her scars for too long, never grimaced, she was still always so aware of them. She didn't want to be. She wanted Xander to view her as flawless, but that would never happen.
Deryn had been so caught up in her scars that she completely missed the sound of the front door opening. There were a few words exchanged between Xander and Luka before the latter was rushing out the door. A few moments later, the door to the bedroom clicked open and she jumped to her feet, standing nervously in the middle of the floor as Xander walked in. His eyes widened at the sight of her.
"Deryn, why are you -"
Deryn didn't let him finish. Sucking back her nerves, she took several hurried steps forward, wrapped her arms around Xander's neck and pulled his head inward. She kissed him with more fervor than she ever had before, he normally being the instigator of their more intense kissing sessions.
Quickly forgetting about why Deryn might be doing this, Xander let her tear off his shirt while he undid his trousers. They fell to the floor and he barely stepped out of them before Deryn dropped to her knees, pulling down his underwear in one fell swoop.
"Deryn, why are you -" he started again, quickly shutting his mouth the moment he was engulfed in hers. "Holy shit."
His knees feeling weak, Xander fell back against the door, slamming it shut. Deryn shuffled right along with him, her mouth never stopping as it moved with a certain skillfulness he hadn't been expecting. He looked down and watched as her perfect, bright-pink lips stimulated him, his hand clenching tightly in her hair as he tried to hold in his release.
She suddenly moved off of him and looked up. "Don't hold it back," she said before plunging on him once more.
And so he didn't, letting her continue for several more minutes until he felt his release building up. He grabbed her hands off of his hips and pulled her to her feet, kissing her aggressively while she continued to pump his cock, not stopping until he was coming on her stomach.
Once he had a moment to catch his breath, Deryn kissed him softly. She went into the bathroom and cleaned herself off before joining him by the door again, kissing him with as much vigor as she had the moment he walked in.
Xander smiled as his arms wrapped around her waist. He picked her up, carried her over to the bed, and tossed her in its center. He climbed on after her, gently kissing up her thigh until he hit her black underwear.
"Your turn," he said while slowly pulling them off of her.
Xander discarded them to the side and fell into her, spreading her legs and lifting them over his shoulders before licking one delicate line up her slit. But that was the only gentleness she would be getting from here on out.
Engulfing his mouth on her clit, Xander sucked aggressively, nibbling on her most sensitive spot while she tried to wriggle above him. But he held her still and, when she finally began to relax, he plunged two fingers into her burning core. He loved that warmth, his cock growing hard again at the thought of entering her in a few short minutes.
It was not long before Deryn was on the edge, Xander biting down slightly harder on her clit to make her scream especially loud. He smiled triumphantly, knowing very well that she always liked that.
Deryn barely let her orgasm pass before she pulled Xander up so he was level with her and kissed him again.
Xander moaned into her mouth. Knowing where this was leading, he reluctantly pulled away, stopping her for just a moment. "Is there any particular reason you're like this tonight? Not that I'm complaining!" he added quickly as her face began to drop. "But you being the aggressive one isn't exactly usual."
Deryn stared deeply into his eyes and brought her hand up to stroke his hair. She gulped and said, "You once told me that you were holding back for me, and I don't want you to do that tonight."
Xander cocked an eyebrow. "Really?"
She nodded and, with all the confidence she could muster, said, "I'm ready."
He smiled and kissed her. "Should we have a safety word?"
Deryn laughed. "Safety word? Are you planning to start whipping me or something?"
"Well, if you're into that sort of thing."
She smiled coyly and shook her head.
Xander let out a dramatic sigh. "Alright, fine. No props tonight. Just you and me. But, seriously, a safety word wouldn't be such a terrible -"
"Xander, no," she said, tracing her fingers down his face. "I don't need a safety word. I trust you."
He smiled again. "Then let's start with something simple." Climbing off of her, Xander lifted Deryn and positioned her so her back was to him. With one quick flick of his wrist, her bra was off and discarded somewhere on the floor. "Put your hands on the headboard," he instructed.
Deryn did as she was told, suddenly feeling very nervous as Xander crawled up behind her. Until now he had always been somewhat gentle with her, letting her keep a certain amount of control even when he was on top. But tonight was going to be different. This was the first time they would ever be doing this in a position where she couldn't look into his eyes if she needed to. Maybe a safety word really wasn't such a terrible idea.
Then Xander moved her hair off of her neck, pressing his lips to it while caressing her hips. Deryn closed her eyes and sank into his touch. She knew the feeling of those lips, that tongue, those hands. They belonged to Xander and he would never do anything to harm her.
"Move back a little."
Deryn did just that, letting herself relax as he entered her.
Xander started out slow, running his hands along her thighs while thrusting inside of her, his lips never leaving her skin as she became putty in his hands.
It wasn't long before their movements became erratic, the two of them changing positions like it was a dance, and their hands and tongues everywhere they could touch.
There was a brief stint on the floor after they accidentally fell onto it, Deryn having her second orgasm of the night as she thrust her hips on top of him.
When it passed, Xander tossed her back on the bed and took his turn in control. Deryn writhed and moaned beneath him in ways she never had before, their wild sex causing the bed to bang hard against the wall and scrape the floor. Had the bed frame not been made of iron, it surely would have broken.
Deryn screamed his name, tossing her arms back and grabbing onto the headboard.
Xander put his arms behind her knees and lifted her legs over his shoulders. Placing his hands beside hers, he used the headboard to brace himself while he thrust mercilessly.
Xander was clenching his teeth so tightly together they may very well have cracked. If he lost any concentration then he was done, and he knew Deryn wasn't quite there yet. Just a little ... bit ... longer.
"Xander!" she screamed as her third orgasm washed over her, her body tensing and then falling weak as he gave two final thrusts.
Xander let out his own scream, along with a heavy breath he hadn't realized he was holding in. His body began to slow as Deryn ran her hands along his arms, rubbing them soothingly as he lowered her legs. He gave her body one last caress before pulling out of her.
Even though Xander and Deryn were both still out of breath, they managed to meet for a kiss as his body slackened on top of hers. Xander kissed her lips, her cheek, her forehead, jaw, neck, collarbone, anywhere he could touch, yet, somehow, it was never enough.
"So what did you think?" he asked once they had had a moment to catch their breath.
Deryn smiled. "Well, now I know why those girls you brought here always screamed so loudly," she said with a slight chuckle.
"I assure you, it's never been quite like that," he said, kissing her again. "That was -"
"Amazing," she finished.
Xander grinned and shook his head. "No. I've had amazing sex before, and that was bey
ond amazing, love. That was phenomenal."
Deryn blushed. Xander wasn't sure why until he replayed his words in his head. He had called her love. It was a complete accident, but one he hardly felt ashamed about.
Xander traced her lips with his thumb, tempted to say the word again. "Deryn, I -"
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Both of them shot up as they realized the knocking was on their bedroom door.
"Xander, if you're quite finished in there, I would like to have a word with you," called a familiar, deep voice.
Shit .
"Did I ever say your name?" asked Xander frantically while Deryn's fingers dug into his arms.
"N-no," she answered in a weak, terrified voice.
"Good.” He reached down, pulled the comforter up from where it had fallen on the floor, and threw it on top of her. "Stay here. I'll get rid of him."
Xander kissed her forehead and hurried to get dressed. He looked back at her one last time before opening his door just enough to slip out.
In the living room, his guest had made himself comfortable on the couch and was flipping through the pages of one of Deryn's books.
"Father, what are you doing here?"
Without turning to look at him, Atticus said, "Is it not customary for a father to come and visit his son every now and then?"
"Not in our family."
He shut the book and put it down on the coffee table. "I'm worried about you, Xander. Everyone is."
Xander raised his eyebrows. "Are they?"
Atticus stood and turned to face his son. "Yes. They say you haven't been yourself lately. Do you have any idea as to why they might think that?" he asked, his eyes glancing slightly towards Xander's bedroom door.
"No," said Xander. "If I'm acting unusually, it's only because I'm being cautious. Several of our Guardian friends have made it very clear that they no longer want me in power, and I don't plan on letting them usurp me anytime soon."
"What? Xander, if someone's threatened you then I have a right to -"
"It's nothing I can't handle. Don't worry yourself too much or you might get wrinkles." Xander pointed at his forehead and made a face.
Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) Page 32