Where Love Grows

by Jerry S. Eicher

  “Of course not,” Maurice said. “So what happens for the rest of the evening? I hear there are more festivities to come. And here I’m thinking I’ll collapse from all the goings on so far.”

  “Well,” James said, “there’s a hymn singing with supper for the young folks starting at six. The old folks just tag along. Then the singing starts at seven-thirty, going until nine. Afterward, we sit around and talk for a few hours yet. So the whole celebration might end by midnight.”

  “That is making a full day out of it!” Maurice exclaimed.

  James grinned. “For most of us, this only happens once in our lifetime. So we celebrate newly married couples as much as we can.”

  “That’s a wonderful thought,” Maurice said. “So what does the mother-of-the-bride do to help? I feel like I’m doing nothing but stuffing myself with delicious food.”

  “That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do, Mother,” James said.

  Maurice looked at him. “Did you just call me mother?”

  “Yah, that’s what you are to me now. And if it will help keep you here a while longer, I’ll call you Mamm.”

  “Well, for that you get another hug!” And with that Maurice took James in another embrace and squeezed tight.

  “Mom, that’s enough!” Teresa said with a laugh. “Any more hugs will be given at home, not here where people are watching.”

  “Oh, all right,” Maurice conceded.

  Teresa turned to James. “I’ll walk Mom into the house and be right back.”

  As they walked across the lawn, Maurice asked, “So you really aren’t going on a honeymoon?”

  “No. Mamm and Susan will take care of baby Samuel for our first night together, and then it’s back to normal. That’s how the Amish do things.”

  “Well, if that’s their custom, okay. I guess everybody looks happy around here with or without honeymoons.”

  “Husbands and wives love each other for all their lives.” Noticing her Mom’s frown, Teresa said, “I’m sorry, Mom. I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad.” Teresa took her mother’s hand as they walked.

  “I’ve never even had a wedding, let alone a honeymoon,” Maurice said. “So yes, I do feel bad. Or perhaps just sad.”

  “Mom, don’t cry. God can change everything if you will trust Him. Why don’t you stay around for a while and see what it’s really like here? James won’t mind if you use the upstairs bedroom. And you can help us get settled into the house.”

  “That’s very sweet of you.” Maurice’s wiped her eyes. “I will certainly consider it. After I’ve been around you and baby Samuel this week, I don’t want to go back to Asbury Park.”

  “Then don’t!” Teresa let go of her mother’s hand and held open the washroom door.

  Susan was standing inside by the sink, her face tear-stained. Maurice smiled at her as she moved into the kitchen.

  Teresa lingered behind and took Susan’s hand. “Mom thinks you’re happy for me, but I know you, and this is about something else. You’re crying your heart out. Tell me why.”

  “I saw Thomas talking with one of the visiting girls earlier at our house.” Susan broke into more sobs.

  “Oh no!” Teresa groaned. “Are you sure? Maybe it was someone he knew. Perhaps you’re jumping to conclusions.”

  “That’s what I keep telling myself, but I can’t stop crying. He’s betrayed me before, Teresa, and it feels likes he’s doing it all over again.”

  “Shall we go find Thomas? Let’s just ask him and clear this up.”

  Susan smiled through her tears. “I don’t think that would be wise. I’ll try to gather myself together. We have to go in for supper before long. And you’d better go back to James. It’s your day, and I don’t want this time to become something about me.”

  “Susan, I care about you. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even be having this wonderful day.”

  “I’ll be okay.” Susan squeezed Teresa’s hands and motioned her back out the washroom door. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”

  Teresa gave Susan a hug. “It’ll be okay.”

  Susan nodded as Teresa left.

  Why did trouble have to haunt this day, Teresa wondered. Hopefully Susan was imaging things. Please help Susan, dear God, she prayed, pausing to watch James talking with an Englisha man. Her husband’s back was turned toward her. The final rays of sunshine had broken through the thin clouds and were blazing over James’s shoulders.

  As she approached, James turned slightly toward her and then back to the Englisha man. “Dennis, please meet my frau, Teresa. Teresa, this is Dennis, who is visiting today.”

  “Hi,” Teresa said with a nod, her gaze immediately turning back to James’s face. She could almost kiss him right here in front of everyone. He looked so handsome and so glad to see her.

  “I’m glad to finally meet you, Teresa,” Dennis was saying. “I saw the others going up to shake your hand, but, not knowing you, I wasn’t quite up to that in the crowd. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you,” Teresa said.

  “Dennis came looking for Menno and was asked to stay for our wedding,” James explained. He’s doing some sort of research on the Amish and wanted to see how we do things. A wedding was a good place to start.”

  “Yes, it was,” Dennis agreed. “And thank you for allowing me to share your day. I thoroughly enjoyed myself! It’s getting a bit late, though, and I do need to be going.”

  “You were going to ask Menno some questions,” James said. “Were you able to do that?”

  “No, but I’ll return and do so at a quieter time.”

  “You’re welcome to stay the evening yet,” James assured him. “We have supper and then hold a hymn sing.”

  “Thank you very much, but I do need to leave. I did get to at least meet Mr. Hostetler. I’ve arranged to come back tomorrow to speak with him at length. With his daughter getting married today, it didn’t seem quite appropriate to take up very much of his time.”

  Teresa laughed. “I’m not really his daughter. I’ve just kind of grown into the family.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that,” Dennis said. “And, James, you take care of this lovely bride of yours.”

  “I’ll do that.” James slipped his hand around Teresa’s shoulder. They stood watching the last of the sunset as Dennis left for his car.

  Moments later someone hollered from behind them, “Supper’s ready!”

  Teresa smiled and pulled James toward the barn.

  “Someone’s in a hurry for supper,” Minister Emery Stutsman muttered as they passed. “I hope the rest of the young people get themselves here this quickly.”

  “I’m sure they will.” Teresa pointed toward the barn. “See, the boys are already coming.”

  “I hope the girls agree.” Emery laughed. “It sure makes my task a lot easier.”

  By the time they were seated at the center table, Susan and Thomas had appeared. Teresa looked over at Susan. Was she still upset or had Thomas said something to soothe her fears? She was smiling at least, but then Susan was always able to put on a front if she felt she needed to.

  Ben and Mary appeared moments later, taking their places on James’s side of the table. The young people continued to file in through the doorway, the steady couples first, followed by those who had been paired up for the evening by the “hook and crook” of the matching team. Emery Stutsman didn’t have to do any hard work to get people gathered, regardless of how much he complained.

  Teresa smiled at the obviously nervous young couples. She hadn’t attended many Amish weddings, and now she would never have to face the matchmaking boys again as they came around on wedding afternoons, carrying their pencils and notepads, taking all the girls’ names down who still were without a date for the evening and then retreating to where the boys were scattered throughout the premises. There they began asking the boys which girls they wanted to be paired with. First come, first served, was the rule of the day. The girls’ only option was to sa
y no if the choice was too onerous. And few did. Susan had warned Teresa of the process at the first wedding she attended. It was better to appear submissive and swallow whatever distaste one experienced if the boy chosen wasn’t your favorite. This was only for the evening. It wasn’t like one had to be alone with the boy or endure long conversations. Some couples said only a few words to each other all evening as they sat at the tables.

  Since James had been taking her home from the hymn singings, he had also escorted her to the tables at weddings. Now he would be her husband wedding nights and regular weekday nights! Teresa leaned against his shoulder and looked up into his face. He looked down at her, his eyes shining with happiness.

  Minister Emery interrupted Teresa’s thoughts by announcing the prayer time in a loud voice. He led out after they had bowed their heads. Then supper began. As soon as Henry and Lucy, the servers for the center table, appeared carrying their plates of food, the other servers began waiting on their tables to the eager smiles of the hungry young people.

  As they started to eat, Teresa gave her mom a smile across the room. She waved, not knowing that Amish didn’t wave at weddings. At least no one was looking at Maurice strangely. People were being so wonderful and understanding. Teresa took another bite as she looked across the gathered group of guests.

  Soon the years would roll on, she thought. Someday Samuel would be sitting here at his own wedding with a lovely bride by his side.

  Giving up all hope of keeping back the tears of joy, Teresa let them run down her cheeks. James kept on eating with one hand and, with his other, holding her hand under the table. No one stopped eating to stare, even though they had to have noticed.

  Did Amish brides usually break down on their wedding day? Teresa wondered. Well, if not, they were being introduced to a new tradition. The weeping bride at the wedding-night supper before the hymn singing.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  The hymn singing had ended an hour ago, but James and Teresa were still inside chatting with the guests, many who were wishing them a last “God speed” on their married life. Susan waited in the front yard. The gas lantern shining through the front window of the house sent warm light streaming across the lawn and up the side of the washhouse. Susan studied each buggy profile as the long line approached. Thomas’s buggy hadn’t appeared yet.

  They could just as easily leave his buggy here. Her house was within walking distance. But his last whispered words had been “I’m getting my buggy,” just before she had smiled at Teresa, giving her another hug before slipping out of the barn.

  That Thomas was driving her home instead of walking wasn’t a problem. It was the look on his face that was troublesome. All evening he had been that way. Even when he laughed at the right places, Susan knew something had changed. But what exactly?

  Girls with their bonnets pushed back moved past her, climbing into the halted buggies. Most of the horses held their heads high, occasionally rearing back on their hind feet before the driver loosened the reins and calmed them.

  Could it be the girl Thomas had been talking to this afternoon? She was up to no good. Or perhaps it was Thomas who was up to no good—just as he’d been up to no good the evening she’d caught him kissing Eunice. But this time she was going to trust Thomas until she knew otherwise. That was what Mamm and her sisters would say to do, and they were right. There was probably a perfectly logical explanation. This time she wasn’t going to fly off the handle. She was going to keep her emotions in check.

  Through the shadows Susan caught sight of Thomas’s buggy approaching. At least his horse didn’t have that dashing streak his master had. Freddy was unexcitable and calm—descriptions that would feel gut when used to describe a man. Maybe those qualities would filter down to the horse’s driver someday.

  Thomas, of course, didn’t like his horse. He was always complaining about how slow Freddy was. So what did Thomas want? A horse like James drove—high strung and able to pass every buggy on the road. But a body couldn’t always have what he wanted. For one thing, such a horse wasn’t what Susan wanted. And Thomas seemed set on having her in his life.

  “Hi again,” Susan said as she climbed up into the dark buggy. Thomas’s familiar form took shape as she settled into the seat.

  “Turning a little chilly tonight,” he said, letting out the reins.

  Freddy started forward, shaking his head. Thomas slapped the reins hard on his back. Freddy jerked his head up but didn’t increase his speed.

  “Summer’s about over,” Susan offered. “I should have brought my shawl.”

  “Getup!” Thomas shouted through the open window, but again he got no better response.

  “I like your horse,” she told him. “Freddy has a calming influence in an unstable world.”

  Thomas laughed. “How do you figure that? I’d give a lot for a decent horse, but I can’t afford one yet. Plus Daett says the high strung ones are harder to keep.”

  “I still like him. I always have.”

  “Well, I don’t, and I’m the one who drives him.”

  “I think you ought to be thankful for what you have,” Susan said. “Look at us. We’re both older, past the age when most young people wed. It’s time to settle down, and a decent horse will fit right into the plan.”

  “Look whose talking now!” he snapped. “You were the one who threw things up in the first place. If it had been up to me, we’d already be married and settled on your parents’ place.”

  “So you don’t think you had anything to do with our breakup?”

  “Please, Susan, do we have to argue about this? I’m tired tonight.”

  “So you don’t want to hear that I’m finally planning to join the baptismal class? I thought you would be glad to hear that.”

  He sighed. “I thought that was a given, Susan.”

  “I said I was thinking about it before. I never said I would for sure. And the way you were acting this afternoon with that girl who was visiting has me troubled. I’m trying not to say anything about it, but I can’t help it.”

  “So you’re worried about me and a girl again?”

  “So you noticed?”

  “I saw you giving her evil glances all evening.”

  “Thomas, I didn’t. That is your guilty conscience seeing things.”

  “And why should I be feeling guilty about talking to Wilma?”

  “Oh, so that’s her name. I saw you talking to her this afternoon at my house. All cuddly and cozy on the couch.”

  He slapped the reins and stared into the darkness.

  “Do you have anything to say about that?”

  Thomas was silent. Finally he said, “Susan, I think you’re right.”

  “About what?”

  “About Wilma. And maybe about a lot of other things. To tell you the truth, I’m tired of all this back-and-forth stuff with you. I’m tired of you bringing up Eunice time after time. You’d probably even bring it up after we married! I can almost hear it the first time I might come home late from a trip into town. I’m ready to call it quits. I think meeting Wilma and having fun with someone who wasn’t suspecting me of anything did me good. Made me think of some things I should have thought of a long time ago.”

  “You’re dumping me, Thomas? Is that it?”

  “See what I mean? You’ll always be putting the blame on me.”

  Freddy shook his head, glancing over his shoulder before turning into the Hostetler lane. Thomas stopped by the house but made no effort to get out. The silence stretched between them while Susan gathered her thoughts.

  “Will you explain yourself better, Thomas? I’ve been trying to make this work. I don’t want to act like I did the time I caught you with Eunice. Maybe there is some gut reason you were talking with that girl, with Wilma.”

  He sighed. “There’s no reason you’d ever call gut. I really think we should part in peace, Susan. If we got married, you’d be doing it because it’s expected, not because you really want to. And I’d be doing the same t
hing. Sure, I want to take over your daett’s farm. Learn to run the place like your father does. Such a life would be wonderful—at least I’ve always dreamed it would be. But perhaps I’ve been wrong. Or perhaps there are other things I want more. I think I need to stop pretending.”

  “You’ve been pretending that you like me?”

  “No, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. You’re a wonderful girl, Susan. You’ll make someone a wonderful frau someday. But not me. You’re too good for me, Susan. I guess it’s time I admitted it.”

  “Please, Thomas. I’m not saying anything like that. I just don’t want you looking at other girls like Eunice and now Wilma. Not while you’re seeing me. And certainly not after we’re married.”

  Thomas looked away. “I’m sorry about Wilma, but it came so easily. She was so much fun to be with this afternoon. It left me wishing you and I had that.”

  “But we had it once, Thomas. You know we did. You had my heart back in our schooldays...and a long time after. I mooned over you like the lovesick girl I was. Maybe I overreacted by running out to the Englisha world when you kissed Eunice, but I’m trying to do better…to not jump to conclusions. And I know we can make this work. Especially with Teresa and James as an example. It’s their wedding day, Thomas. Let’s not let anything get between us tonight.”

  “Susan, please.” He touched her arm. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. We can’t go on like this. I’m too tired of trying.”

  “So it is Wilma?”

  He looked off into darkness before answering. “I don’t know. Maybe. I might as well be honest with myself and you this time. Perhaps it will turn out differently with Wilma than it did with Eunice. Wilma’s a wonderful girl, Susan.”

  Susan bit her lip and reached for the side of the buggy. She climbed down and waited a moment, listening for the sound of his voice calling her back. But Thomas said nothing.

  “Good night,” he finally said as Susan moved toward the house. “And I really am sorry.”

  Susan held back the tears as she walked across the lawn.

  He called softly after her, “Susan! I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”