You can probably guess that dogs and cats come forward most often, but that’s just because more people keep them as pets than they do, say, squirrels. I may hear a dog walking on a wooden floor, or Spirit might show me that a client kept toys from the dog or how their pet died. They’ll also tell me when the client made all the right choices about an end-of-life decision, so that the dog didn’t suffer. My symbol for that is Gram’s dog Lucky Girl, who became very ill from eating the berries from a poinsettia plant; though the vet thought she was poisoned from it, my grandmother took her home because she didn’t appear to be suffering. She recovered and lived for many more years. But it doesn’t take Spirit to bring animals forward; sometimes they’ll come bounding through on their own. There’ve even been times when I’ve asked clients if they’ve lost a child, because I can feel the bond of a mother and son, though it’s a bit more removed than that of a human bond, and it turns out that the person lost a dog they loved like a child. This happens a lot with cats too—cat people are really attached!
Like children, animals have a special relationship to Spirit. Their brains aren’t as full as ours are, so they see and sense Spirit more easily than we do. The next time your cat seems to meow at nothing, or your dog’s head looks like it’s watching a rebounding pinball in the air, say hi to Spirit. My dogs are named Louis Vuitton and Peter James—and Petey is like a person. He talks to Spirit all the time; I call him the dog hunter of Spirit. He barks, mumbles, and makes bizarre noises, often while lying on the stairs with his head hanging over the edge. I think it’s because energy hangs on my staircase. I sit with my back to it during readings, because I sense Spirit there. Is it like this in everyone’s house? I don’t know. But I’ve heard about dogs barking at landings a lot, and I just did a reading where a child saw Spirit on her stairs too. Anyway, when I do readings, I put the dogs in a separate room because Petey is a talker and Louis, a Yorkie, is very jittery and barks all the time at nothing. He can’t sit still, so I think he senses Spirit. It’s not like I see Spirit and then watch my dogs bark at it, because there’s so much energy around me that I don’t notice that kind of correlation. Louis also anxiously paces back and forth with his bone, like someone’s going to take it from him. Spirit has been known to make things disappear. Poor Louis. That’s one tricky game of fetch!
4
So, You Want to Connect with Souls in Heaven?
I believe that everyone has the ability to communicate with Spirit and develop their intuition. I also think it comes more easily to some than others. Remember those old Barbizon ads that said, “Be a model . . . or just look like one”? I loved them! That tag line pops into my head whenever I hear a medium or book title imply that anyone can talk to dead people with the same accuracy and regularity that those of us with more developed, natural abilities do. The idea is so mainstream, in fact, that there are a bunch of wikiHow and eHow pages devoted to this on the Internet. I also think that when we open a connection to the Other Side to hear from Spirit or a loved one, there are ways to do this that are better than others, and I want to be sure you have safe, realistic expectations about your own abilities as you read. I don’t want everyone to think that by the end of the chapter, you’ll be able to shut your eyes, count to three, and when you open—presto!—you’ll see Aunt Lisa standing in front of you. Not everyone can do it when they want. It could happen, but if not, I don’t want you to doubt your bond or think your departed loved ones aren’t around, because the opposite is true. They’re with you all the time.
So if you want to open a connection with Spirit and loved ones who’ve crossed over, I feel the best way to do this is to use a few simple tools to help you become more aware of how Spirit is already with us every day. Meditating, listening to your gut, recognizing signs, identifying visitations in dreams—these are all ways that we receive messages from Spirit. If anything goes on around you that seems odd, weird, different, or a coincidence—and these things also make you think of a loved one or remind you of that person—please embrace it as a sign that the soul is with you at that exact moment. Also, I feel that the more you acknowledge these hellos from Heaven, the more you will receive. You share a bond with your loved ones that can never be broken, and I want you to know that they’re just as interested in reaching out to you as you are to them. And no, you’re not bothering them in any way. They want you to know they’re with you, that they’re helping you and that they’re experiencing a beautiful existence beyond this one.
Once your mind is open, and you start to get validation that you’re interacting with Spirit—maybe a dream here, a sign there—please don’t get upset or discouraged if you can’t do this all the time, or when you want to, or that your messages aren’t as specific as you crave. Spirit has its own agenda—its own motives, rules, and timing for everything that happens to and around us. Remember how I said that during my sessions, Spirit delivers messages that people need to hear, not what they want to hear? Spirit’s presence in your life is the same way. Don’t hate me for saying it, but a lot of times having faith, trusting that there’s a bigger plan, or simply not knowing is part of a lesson we’re meant to learn. I also think that one reason we can all connect with Spirit to some degree is because we’re meant to and should—for healing, support, intervention, and validation of our spiritual beliefs. And while expanding that intuitive part of ourselves is intended to benefit our own souls in all kinds of ways, we also can’t forget that it’s meant to help others too.
This leads me to what I think is really one of the most amazing and compelling reasons to develop your intuition, besides becoming aware of your loved one’s presence. Not everyone is put on this earth to talk to dead people, but I feel that we are all here to learn service to others. So soon enough, you’ll be able to connect with Grandma Betty in special ways, but you may also find that as your intuition grows, it leads you down other paths. As you become more aware of Spirit, you may also want to explore your intuition and spiritual connection more deeply. If so, you can read more on the topic or find a teacher or mentor to help you develop your own gifts. You might ultimately use your intuition not to become a medium, but a counselor who helps people with your insight, a facilitator who puts people in the right place, or a listener who always seems to be there when a person needs guidance. All of these roles rely on intuition that’s made better by spiritual direction. This reminds me of a friend I have who is very gifted. She earns a six-figure income in a marketing and advertising job in Manhattan, and throughout her career, she’s built relationships with her clients on a much more personal level. When they ask her for advice, it often comes from Spirit. Now, they don’t know she leans on Spirit for help—only that she’s wise beyond her years and always seems to know just what to say—but that’s how this woman uses her gift. And like that, everyone wins.
Chuck Your Fear
As someone with a boatload of phobias, I’m no stranger to fear. But a huge part of connecting with the Other Side is having faith that what you’re hearing and channeling is true and protected by God. Because here’s the thing: you can’t have both faith and fear as dominant factors in your life. The two contradict each other, they’re opposing forces. So in order to connect with Spirit, you have to lose the fear and embrace the faith. I know that for me, the day I released any fear about being a medium, when I accepted that what I was doing was real and I wasn’t insane, is when my life became a lot easier. Replacing fear with faith is a good rule to live by in any aspect of your life, really. New jobs, relationships, even asking for a loan from your parents . . . they’re all made better when you lead with trust than when you go into them riddled with doubt and worry.
Another reason why you don’t want to be afraid when you try to connect with Spirit is that it’s not practical. I hate wasting time, don’t you? Well, when you’re scared, positive spiritual activity happens less often. But if you let Spirit know you’re not afraid to see or hear them, doors fly open. I realize that it can be a t
otally freaky thing to hear a voice or see a figure standing near your bedroom door. Though I talk to Spirit all the time, it still startles me every once in a while too. What might help is if you first imagine what it would be like if this happened, so that if it ever does, you’ll be less afraid. Maybe you can lie in bed and pretend Grandpa Wally is standing at the foot of it, or sit in the dining room and imagine him speaking to you from across the table. This will help normalize the experience and welcome your loved one, if you ever have an encounter like this. Will this type of visualization tip make Spirit visit faster? It may, but the bigger point is for you to not ruin your pants if Spirit shows up unannounced!
The final reason why you shouldn’t embrace fear is, by far, the most important of all. Are you paying attention? Okay. So I do not mess with negative Spirit, but I was taught that anybody can open a not-nice doorway to the Other Side, and fear both attracts and feeds negativity. I want nothing to do with negativity and neither should you. Examples of how fear breeds negativity aren’t just limited to Spirit; it’s a life lesson too. I know a woman who is dyslexic, and it took years for her teachers and doctors to diagnose her learning disability. Every time she took a test at school, she’d feel afraid that she’d fail and it would make her feel stupid. She’d get down on herself because of her fear, so by the time she took the actual exam, she wasn’t just scared of failing, she also hated the stupid test, and her dumb school, and her ugly teacher . . . You see how worry fed her negativity, and things went downhill? Similarly, when you’re increasing awareness of Spirit, you have to stay positive to keep away any chance of interacting with negativity.
And if I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million more times: no Ouija boards. With these devices, you can call in whatever Spirit and energy is out there and available, and there’s a good chance you’ll channel an energy that will be sneaky and not benefit you in any way. You do not want these souls in your life.
Spiritual Bubble Wrap: Seek Protection and Grounding
Meditation is the best way to open to Spirit or a loved one that has crossed. It quiets your mind and helps you listen to your guides and communicate with Spirit, but you must ground and protect yourself in God’s white light first. Some people like to picture themselves in an egg- or circle-shaped bubble, which is great, but I visualize the outline of my body in white light—for lack of a better metaphor, like the chalk drawing at a crime scene. I also visualize all gray negativity leaving my physical, emotional, and spiritual body and being replaced with pure, white light.
If during meditation you ask to hear from a loved one, you must do the same and say that you will only communicate with souls that walk in God’s light. I don’t want to hear that you’re connecting with what are called low-level energies, which are easily accessed souls that have attained the least amount of awareness and growth. They are also the souls of people who were psychotic, had no remorse for criminal actions, and did other sketchy things in the physical world. Low-level energies are what corrupt corner psychics and crooked tarot card readers channel. These psychics are intuitive, but if they’re also con artists and thieves, they’ve likely been raised from when they were young to get information the easiest way possible—which is from low-level energy. They don’t care where their material comes from, the way I and other balanced mediums do. They only want enough to draw you in, from whatever or whoever will give it to them.
To be honest, I surround myself with God’s light even when I’m not about to meditate. I do it first thing in the morning during my prayers to keep negativity away all day. I also do it if I’m nervous, like when I have a meeting about work or I’m about to speak in front a group of people for a charity. I like to do it if I’m going to take a flight as well. I envision the plane, pilot, and staff in a bubble of radiant light to keep us safe from harm.
After I ask God to surround me in His white light and protection, I then ground myself to the earth. I do this before a reading and before I meditate, which is how I open to Spirit. I was taught to ground myself by imagining two cords from the bottoms of my feet, and one from my tailbone, shooting into the earth and locking them in like the roots of a tree. If you don’t ground and protect yourself prior to meditating, any energy level can walk right in, or you can become depleted or take on another soul’s energy. I then ask that all information I receive be for the highest good of all concerned, I ask for God’s guidance, and I ask for unique validation during each reading. I then visualize God’s light, as I begin to see my guides and the silhouettes of various souls lined up and waiting to speak, like that scene at the end of Ghost, where Patrick Swayze goes to Heaven.
Focus, People, Focus: How to Meditate
Meditation is the only way I can calm my mind, at any point in a day. When I’m quiet and focused, I can also hear what Spirit has to say. You can be quiet when you’re praying too, but prayer is talking to God, whereas meditation lets you listen to God and other souls. I’ll get into prayer more in chapter six, when we talk specifically about Him.
There’s no right or wrong place to meditate. I can connect with Spirit anytime, anywhere—well, okay, maybe not while getting frisky with Larry. But a quiet room in your house, on the beach, in the bathtub, at the park . . . wherever you feel safe and peaceful is as good a place as any. You can find self-guided meditations online or on iTunes to help you feel grounded, balanced, and receptive to Spirit as well. You can also sit in a quiet room for twenty minutes by yourself to clear your head. By meditating, you won’t just open yourself up to Spirit either. You’ll also learn how you connect—whether it’s through feeling, smell, sight, and so on, because Spirit will come through most vividly using your choice senses. You might see a film strip, or a figure standing in your mind’s eye. Or you may hear or feel a voice say just one healing word or an entire calming sentence. You might even experience a combination of a few senses, which is very common too.
If meditating sounds too out-there for you, know that Spirit can also come to you when your head is off in la-la land and you’re daydreaming, which is similar to the relaxed state you go into when you meditate. I get the most information from Spirit when I’m in the shower and when I blow-dry my hair—and I don’t think it’s because Spirit likes the scent of my shampoo and styling cream (though it does smell like chai tea). I am, however, starting to think it’s true when they say, “The higher the hair, the closer to God!” Other people I know are most receptive to Spirit when they’re doing a boring chore like vacuuming or washing the dishes. These are the moments when your mind’s not cluttered with a to-do list of activities and is naturally open to hear from Spirit. And yes, they can talk over the roar of your Hoover!
Beyond connecting with your loved ones, meditation and prayer are also helpful in my everyday life. I don’t need to be about to channel to benefit. Praying and meditating help me feel balanced, grounded, and safe at all times. God, angels, guides, loved ones who’ve passed, and even souls we haven’t met in Heaven are guiding and protecting us always. Given what I do, I’d be a real schmuck if I didn’t connect with them now and again, and in prayer, tell them how grateful I am for all their hard work.
A few other tips that work for me and may do the same for you: as I meditate, I like to visualize the aligning of my chakras (you can find helpful diagrams online of where these are on your body) and picture them filling up with pure, white light. I also try to keep my body cleansed by not using drugs or alcohol, or eating too poorly, otherwise it confuses my energy and messes with my ability to connect with Spirit. In addition to meditation, I find that drum circles help me connect with various souls, as well.
Make Like a Seventies Song, and Read the Signs
One reassuring way that Spirit likes to communicate is by sending signs to show they’re near. This requires no preparation on your part—it just happens. Spirit already does this, but we tend to get so bogged down by our lives that we may not notice. These signs may come when you need them most, or as
a surprise. The key is to know what to look for.
So you know how doctors say you should always call them if you have symptoms out of the ordinary for your body—something that’s not your idea of normal? A slightly high temperature, for instance, might be normal for one person, but to another, it could be the start of the flu. It’s that way with Spirit too. If you get a sign you’re not accustomed to seeing—a situation that’s not normal for you—I’ve found that it’s likely a symbol or sign from your loved ones that they’re with you at that exact moment. Some of the more typical signs I hear about are seeing random feathers, loose change, animals, insects, and religious articles. Numbers are also a way that Spirit connects with us. For example, seeing the sequence 1-1-1 means that divine intervention’s happening, or about to. When I see the numbers 6-0-9, the day Gram died, I know she’s with me at that moment. Gram also leaves dimes all around me. I’ve found them randomly in the bottom of my makeup bag or one might fly out of my wallet—no joke. Victoria even found one at a gymnastics meet. She was in her leotard, and when she sat down on the mat, she felt something cold stuck to her bare leg. It was a dime, and I think Gram was wishing her good luck.
As a medium, I’ve also learned that if you don’t have a lot of strict expectations about how a loved one “should” connect with you, it will be easier for that soul to do so. I’m not saying that you need to accept any random occurrence as a sign; that’s just silly and naïve. But sometimes, we close ourselves off from connecting because of nitpicky limits we put up. For example, at a small group reading in Long Island, a woman told me that she smells gardenias a lot, but that it couldn’t be her mother because her mom’s favorite flower was lily of the valley. Seriously? Another woman I know says that she smells shampoo at odd times, but that it couldn’t be her mother’s soul reaching out to her, because she was known for her Rave hair spray. When I hear this stuff, it makes me nuts. Because here’s the thing: Spirit doesn’t always send signs that exactly match up to our expectations or memories, but they’re usually in the ballpark. I don’t know why these souls don’t nail it, but what matters in these examples is that the women’s moms were regularly reaching out in ways that were uncommon so they’d get noticed. But because their daughters were so literal, they missed the wonderful reunions. I get why mother-daughter relationships can be full of misunderstandings in the physical world, but jeez, these moms now live in another dimension. Cut the women some slack!
There's More to Life Than This: Healing Messages, Remarkable Stories, and Insight About the Other Side from the Long Island Medium Page 8