Intuition, Coincidence, Synchronicity—Oh My!
Do you ever get thoughts, feelings, or emotions that spring up in your head throughout the day, and you don’t know where they come from? Have you ever felt confused, and when your intuition kicked in with the right solution, you thought, Deep down in my soul, I just knew that job/man/house/college wasn’t for me. Maybe your gut said to turn down a date because something felt off, or to call your mom, who really needed to hear your voice. A lot of times, that’s Spirit, including your guides and loved ones, giving you those messages, hunches, and inklings.
Coincidence is another gift from Spirit. I like to think of it as a wink from the Other Side that they’re aware of our desires and doing their best to help and support us. How many times have you considered buying a new car, and suddenly you see your favorite model at every stoplight in town, which helps you make a smart choice? I remember wanting a very sparkly pair of shoes, and then seeing the best pair in one store window after the next, until I finally bought them (see the cover of this book!). These moments are Heaven-sent proof that Spirit’s all ears, even if the coincidence involves something as ridiculous or frivolous as a car or shoes.
I think some of the most fun and significant coincidences happen through music. It’s like when you’re feeling down or confused, and then you hear a relevant song on the radio, and it’s not even a Top 40 hit. The tune may be your loved one’s favorite song, one you danced to at your wedding, or its lyrics may make your heavy heart feel lighter than it did all day. You happened to turn the radio on, to that station, at that exact moment—and yes, Spirit’s behind it all. At a venue in Atlantic City, I did a reading for a teenager whose good friend died, and he was understandably devastated. When I channeled the boy, I said, “He’s singing this song to me, and you probably don’t even know it because you’re so young. It’s Billy Joel’s ‘Only the Good Die Young.’” The kid told me that on his way over, he’d heard that song, and it reminded him of his friend! Not only did his friend’s soul urge him to turn the song on, but it was with him as he listened to it.
Some say there’s music in Heaven, and Spirit likes to use the phrase “I’m singing with the angels now.” So there’s a connection between music and the afterlife that is very powerful. Spirit also says that music raises your vibration and brings your soul closer to God. Gram’s favorite song was the 1930s classic “Dream a Little Dream of Me.” Shortly after her death, I heard it everywhere. When it came on out of the blue at Bertucci’s, which is not a quiet restaurant, it blasted out of the speakers and over the roar of the crowd. My whole family was like, Did the music just come on? Why is this song so loud? And what are the odds that Gram’s song would play in Bertucci’s? I don’t think it’s a typical Italian tune like “Volare” or “Tu Vuò Fà L’Americano.”
Another amazing way that Spirit talks to us is with synchronicity. This is very similar to coincidence, but it’s when two or more events that seem unrelated come together in a meaningful way. It’s a special sign that grabs your attention and gives you proof that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be on your spiritual path. During the first year after I accepted my gift and had just started my business, I walked past a booth full of Christmas ornaments. One was a sand dollar with the words “Merry Christmas, Theresa!” painted on it. It also had the year, with the words “Grandma loves you,” and a picture of a child who, I swear to God, looks just like me. I took that as a sign that Nanny was saying, You’re on the right path. Don’t worry, I’m here for you. I’m guiding you, I’m protecting you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I believe God and Nanny wanted me to know this too. Synchronicity doesn’t happen as often as everyday coincidences, so it’s powerful when it does. Another awesome example of this happened to my cowriter, when we were writing this chapter, actually. She’s adopting a baby and often thinks of her future child when she hears a certain song on the radio. It isn’t that popular, so when it does come on, it feels like a special surprise. One morning, she was outside and heard the prettiest music and realized it was coming from her iPhone. Her favorite song was playing through her Pandora app, though she didn’t turn it on and never saved the song to her phone. In fact, she’d just been on her text message screen, so it would have taken at least four swipes or taps to even get to a station that may have played the tune. That’s synchronicity! Spirit was telling her to be patient, because she’s where she’s supposed to be and they’re helping to move things along at the right pace.
What Makes One Spirit Stronger Than Another?
Though Spirit tells me that everyone gets the messages they’re meant to, I understand why it might feel frustrating or disappointing if friends or relatives seem to receive stronger Spirit communication than you do, either on their own or with a medium. I’m not talking about how limited awareness or preconceptions about how Spirit “should” communicate can hinder things—we covered that. I’m referring to the actual strength and clarity of the messages themselves. It’s a fair question to ask, and I’ll admit that in a group, or even privately, some souls communicate stronger, longer, and/or with more specificity than others can. So what gives? Here’s what I’ve experienced.
Soul communication is influenced by various factors. Sometimes a soul might not have the energy to speak as much, or for as long, as a more developed soul can; it may even come in and out during a session, while others stay the whole time. As you know, souls are made up of energy—so think of how a 100-watt lightbulb shines brighter than a 45-watt bulb because it has more juice. One thing that determines a soul’s energy is soul growth. The more a soul evolves here and in Heaven, the stronger it can communicate with us. More mature souls also give more detailed messages, because of soul growth. Finally, the more you heal here without your loved one, the stronger the soul’s communication. To us, this may feel like the more time that’s passed, the better the soul communicates, but there’s more going on than that. And like I said, more advanced souls may strongly come through right away, which to us just feels inconsistent.
Another factor is how open you are to hearing certain messages. I’ve had people say to me, “I’ve been seeing mediums for ten years, and they’ve never brought up that topic. You’re the best!” But this has nothing to do with me. It’s about how well your loved ones can communicate and how receptive you are to receiving a message. You may not have been ready to hear a certain message five or ten years ago, or Spirit may have needed to learn certain lessons in that time to be able to communicate this information to you. Also, the more walls you put up, the harder Spirit has to work to validate its presence. I can deliver more messages, at a faster rate, if your loved ones don’t need to keep reaffirming that it’s really them. Staying positive about the messages you hear also helps. If you’re not relaxed, there isn’t a positive flow of energy going on between us.
Managing expectations also comes into play here. If you expect to hear from a specific person—say, Aunt Jennie comes through instead of Uncle Charlie during a reading—or you want to get signs from your angels instead of a grandfather you never knew, that may be a problem. The quicker you accept that you’ll get the message you need, from whomever you need to hear it from, the better the message will be. It’s the message Spirit intended to deliver from the start.
Some mediums say there’s a transition period that can occur with a particularly difficult death, like a long-suffering disease or trauma, or when a loved one isn’t ready to go, and this may cause a delay in hearing from the loved one. This isn’t in my frame of reference, since I believe our souls are limitless, and that whatever you put forward to your guides is what you will receive. Because I’ve never personally experienced a time frame that Spirit’s called a transition period, I have no reason to get into that with Spirit. File that under the ol’ “I’ll find out when I get there” category.
I’ve also found that readings are more informative if someone is particularly spiritual or intuitive them
selves. This is also because Spirit doesn’t have to work so hard with these people. Their readings embrace all the factors I just mentioned—they’re open, they get it, they’re healing well, their loved ones’ souls tend to evolve at a good rate, et cetera.
One of the most incredible readings I did was for a woman named Kristy who came to a small group at her cousin’s house. Her friend Jen, a teacher, had died at thirty-four years old and came through for us loud and clear. She talked about a note Kristy tucked into the side of her coffin when she was buried, about a mutual friend’s wedding, Kristy’s recent divorce, and even Kristy’s cute new haircut. She then showed me that Kristy’s lungs were pink, and that color is my sign for when a body part is newly healed. At that point, Kristy told us she’d recently undergone a successful double lung transplant for cystic fibrosis. Jen also talked about how Kristy felt unnecessarily guilty about her life-saving surgery, because Jen and some of their friends had died from the same disease. Jen’s soul then told me to tell Kristy how proud she is that Kristy speaks about cystic fibrosis and advocates for organ donation, and at Kristy’s most recent talk at a nursing convention for CF, at the center they both attended for care, Jen’s soul said that she and Kristy’s lung donor were there for it! Jen then brought Kristy’s donor forward, who told us she’d donated everything on her body, including her eyeballs. She also told me Kristy would have children (which Jen had already told her in a dream), and brought through a mutual friend named Christina who died waiting for a transplant. Christina thanked Kristy for helping to take care of the daughter she left behind.
Up to this point, Kristy experienced a very moving reading, and it happened as quickly, fluidly, and accurately as you just read it above. And as if all those messages weren’t powerful enough, Jen then told me that Kristy dreamed she went to Heaven and back—which Kristy confirmed. “I had a dream where Jen took credit for my surgery, and I was hovering above my body and watched the whole thing for a few minutes,” Kristy said. “It felt very warm and comfortable, and I remember feeling disappointed when I woke up. I saw a few of my other friends who’ve died from CF too, in Heaven. They were together.” The reading presented one sensational, crystal-clear detail after another.
So why was Kristy’s reading so impressive? For one, there was a lot to be said! And I sensed that Kristy’s soul was open and sensitive to Spirit already. I didn’t need to spend much time validating Jen’s presence—I got right to delivering messages about her life and what she needed to hear from her friend. Jen’s energy was also very strong, so her points came across easily. The back-and-forth was amazing. It was like getting a strong Wi-Fi connection that lets you watch YouTube videos without waiting for them to buffer!
Setting Healthy Boundaries, Spirit Style
After a reading, clients have told me that they become more aware of Spirit’s messages and signs. They may begin to see license plates, signs on trucks, number sequences, or hear specific messages in a song that either relates to them or a loved one who’s departed. They might also have more intense visitations when they’re sleeping. Acknowledge when these things happen and believe in them; you know a wow-moment when you have one. Take what occurred with my booking agent Rich. I read him during our first meeting, and his father’s soul told me to mention cigars as validation—Dad loved a good stogie. For four months after, Rich couldn’t escape the heavy scent of cigar smoke in his apartment. He regularly turned to his fiancée, Michele, in the middle of the night and said, “Can you believe someone’s smoking a cigar at three in the morning?” But Michele didn’t smell anything. Then he’d run out to his terrace and even talk to neighbors, sure that he’d find the smoker, but he never did. The smell even followed him around during the day—in his car, office, and at the gym. Eventually, Rich came to embrace the smell as a sign from his father, and when he gets a whiff, he uses it as a cue to tell him what’s going on in his life.
Because we all have souls around us that comfort and guide us, it can be simple to tap into them in the ways I’ve mentioned. Some of my clients think Spirit has to make a grand entrance—as an apparition, a winged angel over the bed, a vision while they’re saying their prayers—yet this is rarely the case. That said, Spirit can come on a little strong sometimes. As you know, when I first started channeling Spirit in a deliberate way, I had to set boundaries about when they could communicate with me and what they’d look like. You may want to do the same thing. You’re in control. If you notice that your dog is feeling harassed or you aren’t sleeping very well, it’s okay to say to Spirit, “I know you’re here, but please don’t show yourself to me or the pooch.” Or, if you only want signs during the day but not at night, or to see Spirit but not feel them, tell them that. Get as specific as you want, but please, don’t be afraid. If it feels like too much at some point, or even physically uncomfortable, you can also say, “By the grace of God, be gone,” or just, “Please stop freaking me out.” Be direct, and they’ll respect your space.
A lot of people ask me if after communicating with Spirit, you’ll feel depleted or exhausted because souls need your energy to communicate; this happens a lot on ghost-hunting shows. But this doesn’t happen to me. Especially after large shows, I’m actually wound up and energized. I feel rejuvenated when I talk to Spirit, and I think that’s because I ground myself first. If anything, not reading the energy drains me; it can make me feel anxious, so it’s a release when I get the message out. Also, I only communicate with souls who walk in God’s light, so the vibration of this energy is higher and lighter.
Kids Who See Dead People
Since our minds need to be clear for Spirit to communicate with us—the way it is during meditation, prayer, and sleep—this is one reason we hear about so many young people talking to souls who’ve crossed. Their minds are open and carefree. They don’t worry about paying bills, scheduling carpools, or juggling two jobs. What consumes children—coloring and playing house? Lucky ducks. It’s this kind of headspace that makes it easy for Spirit to speak with them. They also don’t have a filter on what adults consider right, wrong, inappropriate, or strange. Think of how they say whatever’s on their minds; every day is an episode of Kids Say the Darndest Things. Nobody’s told them it’s weird or crazy to talk about angels, Spirit, or memories from a past life, so sometimes they do. It’s us grown-ups who close ourselves off to the unknown in such a quick and judgmental way.
When a child says, “I see dead people,” and he or she isn’t quoting from the Bruce Willis movie, hear the kid out. Ditto if the child claims to see a monster, shadow, imaginary friend, or ghost. If they say they’re seeing Spirit or a loved one who’s passed, the best advice is to be open to what they have to say. Don’t make a big deal about it, and ask your questions with subtlety. Don’t cross-examine the poor dears, but let them tell you what’s going on. You want to make sure that what the child’s seeing is real, so you don’t want to lead them on at all. In my family, nobody made a fuss about me talking to Spirit, and that implied support was invaluable. Another big point is to pay attention to your child’s level of fear. Always let sensitive kids know that there’s nothing to be afraid of, and if they’re scared, make it clear that they have the power to tell Spirit to leave.
If all signs point to bona fide Spirit and your child is okay with their presence, you can casually say something like, “How nice! Grandpa is watching over you. He’s in Heaven now.” Showing the child a picture might help confirm that it is, in fact, Grandpa or someone else in your family. If children are too young to process what is happening or if they’re too frightened, it’s also possible to “shut down” their abilities. You can do this through a healer that you trust or even a therapist who specializes in working with kids who are intuitive. These children’s gifts will likely show up again during puberty, and then they can decide whether to develop them further, or if they never want to.
During a recent three-thousand-person reading at a theater in Charlotte, North Carolina
, I was instantly drawn to a ten-year-old girl. I could cry right now, remembering this story. She’d lost her sister, who was eight years older, and her sister’s soul came through to tell me that she appears to her. The girl was shy when I asked her if this was true. “You’re not crazy,” I told her. “You have a special, beautiful gift from God. You should enjoy it and embrace it. Receive messages from your sister. She wants you to know she’s okay.” Her mom then broke down and said they had her in therapy and even installed surveillance cameras in the house because she was so afraid that she was being watched. If her parents didn’t trust what their daughter saw, and bring her to experiences like mine, you could see how this poor girl could have been diagnosed with a mental illness like schizophrenia, or something similar. Her sister’s soul also told me she was doing something special for Christmas, and Mom said they were thinking of coming to New York. They did, and while she was there, I arranged for her to do a healing with Pat, who taught her protection, grounding, and never to fear what she sees or hears.
Since I feel that my gift is genetic, it’s no surprise that young kids in my family tend to sense Spirit. When Victoria was about eight years old, she told me that she didn’t want to go in her bedroom alone, much less sleep in there. One night, I fell asleep with her in her bed, but I was quickly woken up by someone poking and pulling the covers off me. It was a little boy’s soul, teasing and taunting me, but we didn’t have to worry—I then saw my Nanny chasing after him with a pot and telling him to leave us alone! Also, my nephew and godchild Nicholas, Lisa’s son, lived in Nanny and Pop’s house right after Pop died. As I’ve said, Lisa is very spiritual and always shared her own Spirit stories with me as a kid. Shortly after Pop passed, Nick was playing in what used to be my grandfather’s office and said, “There’s a mean man in glasses who yelled at me and told me to get out!” When he said that, I had a flash of what Pop’s room used to look like—his messy desk, a leather recliner. We all knew the soul was Pop’s. He was very private.
There's More to Life Than This: Healing Messages, Remarkable Stories, and Insight About the Other Side from the Long Island Medium Page 10