by J. Thorn
Ok, that was a lie.
But I wasn’t interested in being interested in him and so…. yeah.
I held out my hand while keeping my eyes shut and let him pull me closer to the bank. The crisp autumn air was a little bit chilly, but the sun was warm today. I felt the water rush over my bare feet and while the coolness of the river was refreshing, I shivered from the temperature. I was stripped down to almost naked- underwear and a tank top- and I was annoyed that Hendrix had followed us out here and seen me like this.
Although I had shaved recently, thanks to the gas station we stayed at a week ago. Not only was I able to restock on razors, but they had ponytail holders and tweezers. Jackpot.
“You weren’t supposed to follow us,” I grumbled.
We were just about to the Missouri-Arkansas border when we ran into a pack of five Feeders. They should have been easy to take out, but since we were so exposed on the road we had to improvise our defensive strategy. Hendrix, Vaughan and Nelson had moved to take out the undead road warriors and Haley, King, Harrison and I stayed back to protect a vulnerable Page. I was holding the rear of the group, when the Feeder came up from behind me unexpectedly.
I turned around just in time to get him from under the jaw. It was a totally badass move. Or at least in my head it was- in my head there was some kind of ninja spin and a smooth but aggressive lodging of my gun right where his throat met his chin. I pulled the trigger without a second thought- fluid, fast and instinctive. But it had been a close call. A very close call. One more step and he could have easily taken a bite right out of my shoulder. I would have become an all you can eat lunchtime buffet and that was really not Ok with me.
The worst part was that I hadn’t heard him until he was almost too close.
Thinking back on that now, I couldn’t decide if he’d managed to be quiet and kept his moaning to a minimum or if I had been so focused on Hendrix and Vaughan- making sure they didn’t need help- that I’d missed the warning signals.
Either scenario was not acceptable.
At least I was still alive and not craving brains for dinner.
“I could hear you whining,” Hendrix explained. He put a warm, strong hand on my lower back and slipped the other around my waist. He tipped me so that I was forced to lie down in the shallow bank and let my hair fan out with the current. “We made a lot of noise, Reagan. We can’t waste any time.”
I was now almost all the way submerged in the water. The gritty, sandy bottom caressed my back and unforgivably slid beneath what little clothes I had on. But the water felt nice in my hair, despite the freezing temperature. And I was starting to feel clean- a feeling I didn’t expect to experience for maybe the rest of my life.
I heard Hendrix fiddle with something above my head and then his long fingers were massaging their way through my scalp.
Uh….
I didn’t want to kick a gift horse in the mouth- especially one that felt this amazing- but this was getting weird. The faint scent of lilacs from the small bottle of travel shampoo I’d been hoarding in my backpack mingled with the clean fall air and fresh water to create this fantastic perfume that actually erased the traces of rotting Zombie left behind.
I opened my eyes and blinked up at Hendrix through the almost blinding sunlight. He was kneeling down on one leg, leaning over me. When he noticed me struggling against the bright daylight he shifted his body so he could shade my face. His hands worked slowly and thoroughly through my long hair causing a shiver that had nothing to do with water temperature to travel down my spine.
He smiled down at me, through the frame of his sinewy forearms.
I became speechless, utterly breathless.
I’d never seen Hendrix smile- at least not like this. It was genuine and sincere and it made my heart do this weird fluttering thing in my chest.
“I don’t mind, Reagan,” he explained before I could protest. “I just want to get back on the road.”
His fingernails scraped gently against my scalp and I really tried not to purr. Good grief, this was heaven.
Finding whatever self-control I still possessed, I argued my weak objection, “I can wash my own hair, Hendrix.”
His smile settled into an amused smirk, “You’ll get Zombie brains underneath your fingernails.”
He was taunting me and it worked. A shudder shook my body and my stomach clenched with an ominous threat. I resigned myself to Hendrix playing hair stylist.
“Fine,” I conceded, closing my eyes again to avoid staring at the rough angles of his face, and how the early afternoon light lit up his skin in golden perfection. His jaw was accented by his facial hair and there was a smudge of black dirt streaked across the tight cords of his throat.
Yep, closing my eyes was definitely in order.
His hands slipped under my scalp, palming my head between the two of them while his fingers continued to massage each strand of hair. This was a very thorough washing and the best part was: he wasn’t gagging constantly over my shoulder.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He was silent for so long, I had to peek a glance at him, daring my eyes to open and take him in.
He met my stare with the full force of his somber intensity. “You’re welcome,” he rumbled.
Our faces were closer than before, his strong, capable body hovering over mine and his hands cupping my head gently. Hendrix had this way of making everything else disappear, of creating a world that only the two of us shared. It was in his captive attention and serious nature that I stayed prisoner. This was one of those moments. I kept thinking he was going to kiss me.
Which would have been bad, because I was pretty sure that would seriously complicate things with the Parker brothers. I still wasn’t convinced they were on this road trip for the long haul and I was not prepared to nurse a broken heart for the rest of the Apocalypse. It wasn’t like I could blow up his phone with pathetic take-me-back text messages, or Facebook stalk him to figure out which eHarmony whore he was hooking up with now.
Oh no. We would do this breakup medieval style- straight up sonnets and searching the ends of the Earth and all that.
I didn’t have time for that- or stamina.
It was better to stay unattached and unaffected. If in ten more years, we were both still alive, still single and still needing to repopulate the planet with a non-brain eating species, then sure, I could revisit these…. emotional developments.
Until then I was just going to close my eyes again and pretend he was Haley.
And pretend like doing that was totally not the weirdest thing I’d ever done.
Loud rustling sounded from a few feet away and my eyes popped open again, only this time I was reaching for my pocket knife and pushing Hendrix away so I could sit up. He lunged for his own gun and slid to his feet so he was equally ready for the fight.
“If Hendrix and Reagan get to go swimming, why can’t I go?” Page demanded as soon as she popped through the bush.
Whew, not more Zombies. I reflected for a second why I had just been more concerned about my freshly cleaned hair than my actual life. Was I really that cynical already? Yeesh.
“You’re not allowed to go swimming for another fifty years,” Nelson called after her.
“What?” Page demanded, arms crossed, foot tapping.
“What?” I echoed, utterly mortified by the interruption and the compromising position Hendrix and I were in.
Nelson paused too and took us in, looking more confused than I felt. “Oh,” he finally observed. “You’re not swimming. Your clothes are on.” His eyes swept over my bare legs and then he amended his statement, “On-ish.”
“I was covered in Feeder goo,” I pointed out needlessly, since we’d all been a part of the same fight.
“And Hendrix?” He asked with raised eyebrows.
“Was helping me.”
Hendrix cleared his throat from where he was crouched over me. I glanced up at him but he was busy glaring daggers of death into his brothe
r.
“I was helping her,” he repeated with an angry tone.
“Don’t look at me like that!” Nelson huffed, arms raised in surrender. “Blame your adorable, sweet, loving, completely innocent little sister. She thought everyone was invited to go swimming.”
“Why do you keep saying that? Nobody was going swimming!” I demanded. I felt like Nelson and Hendrix were having an entire conversation in a foreign language.
“Exactly,” Hendrix growled. He stood up and reached down a hand for me to grab onto.
King stumbled through the thick brush, looking confused and jostled. “Nelson, I thought you said swimming was code for-“
“Page go ahead!” Nelson declared suddenly, shoving his sister towards the creek gently. “Go swimming. We’re all going swimming. We are all going regular, normal, completely not-code-for anything swimming.”
Harrison, Haley- who had mysteriously disappeared after she puked- and Vaughan all joined us next, stripping pieces of clothing along the way.
I placed my hand in Hendrix’s and his swallowed mine in warmth and strength. He pulled me to my feet and stared down at me, that familiar gravity marking his expression.
“This isn’t over, Reagan,” he promised.
I shook my head, my wet hair falling around my shoulders. Cold water dripped in tiny rivers over my body, my skin pebbled with goose bumps and my feet sunk into the sandy creek bottom. I didn’t really feel like I was in any position to argue, but that never stopped me before. “You are literally always saying that to me.”
A smile broke out across his face, the same relaxed and alarming one from before. But instead of explaining anything, he just turned around and walked away. He tugged his t-shirt off and threw it along the bank, before stepping further into the waist-high creek. The current was lazy and gentle and all five boys surrounded their little sister so she could swim back and forth between them without getting swept down river.
“Holy shit, Reagan,” Haley whispered, sidling up beside me. She had slipped her shoes and jeans off too, leaving only her boy cut undies and a tank top and bra. “The end of the world does a body good.”
I followed her attention to Nelson, Hendrix and Vaughan who were all shirtless and practically stripped except for shorts. Their muscular upper bodies in plain view above the water.
“What is this?” I hissed. “A communal bath? When did we become sister wives?”
“Don’t ask questions. Just enjoy the view.”
I snorted a laugh, but did what I was told. These boys…. There was definitely something to be said about a life full of hard work and manual labor. Even Harrison and King- not that I was checking them out, because…. ew- were all corded muscle and lean frames.
Haley and I walked further into the river, the water splashing cold waves against our bare skin. In the middle of the creek the water came up to my ribs. My breathing was fast and stuttered, thanks to the iciness of the temperature, but it really did feel good. I slipped under the water, washing out the last of the shampoo and rubbing off every last trace of blood and guts.
Surfacing again I came face to face with Vaughan, who had left the game with his sister behind. His eyes were more serious than normal and his mouth pressed into a grim line.
“You Ok?” I asked, running my hands through my hair to wring it out.
“That was a close call back there,” he nodded toward the direction of the road. “Are you Ok?”
I gave a reassuring smile and said, “As long as there’s nothing leftover in my hair, then yes, I’m fine. That was gross, right?”
“Gross,” he repeated with a nod. “But that’s not really what I’m talking about. That was too close, Reagan. I want to know that you’re alright in here.” He pressed his hand against my chest, right over my heart. My breathing picked up again and I leaned into the heat of his palm- he was so much warmer than the water.
“I’ll be fine, Vaughan.” I tried to sound strong, hopefully confident, but the intensity of his gaze and aura of concern had my defenses crumbling around me. “This is day to day stuff, right? If I’m not Ok now, I never will be.”
His hand slid from my chest to the top of my shoulder, where his thumb rubbed at the hollow of my throat. “I won’t let them get that close again.”
“It’s the nature of this world,” I argued, knowing he wouldn’t be able to protect me from everything. And I didn’t want him to. I could take care of myself. I had to take care of myself. Each and every one of us was in constant danger, if I didn’t take initiative in my own survival I’d never make it. “You can’t protect me from everything, babe. You’ve got enough responsibility on those shoulders.”
The shoulders in question stiffened at my flippant attitude. Something darkened Vaughan’s eyes at my words even while his lips turned into a deceiving smirk. “Babe?” he laughed, but it was forced.
I shrugged, allowing the subject change. In a moment of super sleuthing on my part, I was guessing Vaughan- always the authority, leader-of-the-rebel-alliance Vaughan- didn’t like to be told to let go because some things were out of his control. Or maybe he just didn’t like the idea that he couldn’t always protect me….
“I like nicknames, and it turns out you all have terrible names that cannot be shortened.” That was true, calling Hendrix, “Hen,” or Nelson, “Nel,” didn’t really work out. And literally there was no way to shorten Vaughan without making it sound like I had something lodged in my throat.
“I’m going to pretend to understand that.” His eyes softened a little and some of his natural even-temperedness eased back into his body.
“I like to shorten names, it’s like my thing. But I can’t do that with any of you. Not even Page,” I pouted and splashed a little water at him like it was his fault.
“So I’m babe?”
“You’re babe,” I smiled. “It’s from years of cheer. I went to this really small high school in Iowa. We all grew up together, and were on the same team for years. So we had all these nicknames for each other. It became habit.”
“Ah,” he nodded. “So you were in high school when the infection happened?”
“Three weeks from graduating,” I confirmed. “You?”
“Same, but from college. I had just about earned a bachelor’s in sports medicine.” He crossed his arms and turned so that we were side by side looking out at his siblings and Haley. They were all laughing and splashing. Despite how they were also shivering and lips had started to turn a little blue, they were having fun- real fun. It was amazing.
“Ambitious,” I teased. “Let me guess, you were also a college athlete?”
He nudged me with his shoulder and I almost lost my footing on the uneven rocky bottom. “Smart ass. I was not a college athlete, unless you count intermural soccer.”
“I don’t,” I cut in quickly and then tossed him a playful smile.
“You know for a cheerleader, you’re awfully judgmental.”
I laughed out loud, “Hey, all that means is that I know how to recognize a real sport. Babe.”
“That’s it, cheerleader, I’ve had it with your bad attitude,” Vaughan growled and turned on me.
I took a step back, my hands raised in the air. “I was just kidding! I’m sure your recreational games felt intense. I’m sure you took those cheap trophies very seriously.” I was giggling, taking careful steps back as he stalked toward me, all kinds of mischief dancing in his eyes.
“Oh, really? They felt intense?” He barked out a laugh. “And for your information, we didn’t have trophies.” His chest rumbled with laughter and his hands inched towards me through the surface of the water.
“Oh, good. That’s better.”
“Why is that?”
“You know, so you didn’t actually think your games counted for anything important.”
And then I let out a startled scream when he swooped me up in his large hands and held me suspended over his head. One hand splayed across my upper back, somehow balancing me in a firm gr
asp and the other gripped my upper thigh. I wiggled, trying to break free while laughing uncontrollably.
“Vaughan!” I threatened. “Vaughan, don’t!”
“You asked for this, babe!”
And then he chucked me forward into the frigid water. I flailed and splashed trying to get my footing and when I resurfaced I felt like a drowned rat. My limp hair tangled in front of my face and my shoulders shook with shivers.
I heard everyone laugh at my expense, but somehow I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. I probably did deserve that.
“You’re such a brat.” I shook my head at Vaughan when I’d smoothed my hair back and could see again.
“Brat?” He put a hand to his chest like he was offended. “What happened to babe?”
“You lost ‘babe,’” I warned. “Your ‘babe’ privileges have been stripped.”
“Such a sore loser.” He shook his head at me, a slow smile tilting his full lips. His laughter died away when he looked up at the position of the sun in the sky and then his eyes settled back on his siblings- especially Page. “Ready to go?” he asked me quietly.
I nodded, knowing it was time. This had been a nice vacation from reality, but it was time to face facts. We had no idea what was ahead, or where we were going to stay. Our guns and ammo were dwindling down to nothing and our options for dinner tonight were beef jerky or a jar of salted peanuts. We definitely needed to keep moving.
“Alright, let’s pack it up,” Vaughan called out to the group at large. “Nelson, King and Haley, you’re with me. We’ll get dressed first, while the rest of you keep a look out, then we’ll switch.”
We followed directions without any argument. While the others dried off and got dressed in fresh clothes from their pack, Harrison, Hendrix and I stood guard with loaded guns. And then we swapped. Since we were doing this whole dressing thing collectively, my jeans slipped over my wet underwear and then I pulled on a sweatshirt so I could change out my bra and tank top as discreetly as possible. This was a trick I’d learned from watching Flashdance too many times and spending years riding home from football games in the back of the bus.