The Helio Trilogy: Volumes 1-3

by Valerie Roeseler

  “Well,” Alice throws her hands up and lets them drop to slap her thighs. She begins to ramble, “We don’t know who they are! They could be anyone! They're sorority girls, of course, so the guys would be invited, but we don’t know who they are. What if they’re evil little wenches who just want to use our guys? What if they just want to start some drama with their ex-boyfriends by showing off that they’re with them?” She points a finger at me, “We should do recon. We need to be sure they are who they say they are. We have to be sure they’re not going to use them.”

  My cheeks burn as I try not to laugh at her. “Alice, slow down. Since when are you so worried about Cass and Beck?”

  She freezes in surprise. “I… I… I don’t know.” Bewilderment settles over her, and she speaks softer, “I guess… It’s like they’re family. You know? They’re like our brothers.”

  I nod my head, understanding exactly where she's coming from. “I do know.”

  “So, will you help me do recon?” she whines.

  “Do you really think it’s necessary?” I roll my eyes. “They’re big boys. They can take care of themselves, and I really don’t think they would mind being used.” I chuckle under my breath.

  “It is completely necessary,” Thea demands, barging into the kitchen. “They are my brothers, and as much as they want to think they can just do whatever they want, they are wrong. I will have to approve of their dates. If I don’t like them, then we will convince the women to find someone else.”

  Alice's violet eyes twinkle as she stands up a little straighter. “See? So, are you going to help us or not?”

  I roll my eyes again, “Fine.”

  Thea adds, “I may also need to find a date myself. Would you happen to know of anyone?”

  Alice jumps up and down with excitement, clapping her hands, “Oh! I do! I do!” Thea makes a face. She doesn’t know how to handle Alice’s hyper outbursts.

  “Alright, Alice. First stop's the coffee shop. For me. You… get chamomile tea,” I chide.

  I grab my phone, sending a text to Solas as I pluck my keys from the table in the foyer, and the girls follow me out.

  Me: Running n 2 town with A and T. B back later.

  Me: Let me know if u need anything. I love u.

  My phone beeps as we drive past the gates.

  Chief: Be careful. I love you too.

  The coffee shop's surprisingly bustling with students for a mid-Wednesday morning. I lead Alice and Thea through the front door, and we're assailed with the aroma of pumpkin spice. It's so harsh it drowns out all other smells. “Jeez! It’s fucking pumpkin overload in here,” I mumble.

  Thea looks as though she'll be sick. Alice scrunches her face, “You order, and we’ll wait out back.”

  “What would you like, Thea?” I ask over my shoulder.

  “I do not know how to answer you. I will have what you have,” she says with boredom.

  I chuckle. “Alright, I’ll be out there in a sec.” I walk a few paces and take a spot at the end of the line to order. Five minutes pass before I make it to the counter. I recognize the barista as Emily, who seems to be the single employee that’s remained through the semester as others have come and gone. “Can I get two large mochas and a small chamomile with honey?”

  “It’ll be eleven eighty-seven,” Emily tells me as she punches keys on the register. I pay before stepping aside to wait for my order and glance around the crowd to assess the patrons.

  “Ivy!” Emily yells while placing my order on the pick-up counter.

  I retrieve the three drinks and take them outside. Alice and Thea are sitting at a table on the deck against the wall. I place the drinks on the table and drop my keys and wallet beside them, “Here ya’ go. I’ll be right back.”

  “Where are you going?” Alice asks.

  I call back to her as I jog backward, “I forgot something!” I don’t want to announce to everyone that nature calls.

  As I sit down to relieve myself in the restroom, I hear Alice and Thea having a conversation on the other side of the wall.

  Thea says, “My brothers tell me you do not trust Solas. May I ask why?”

  I'm completely intrigued with her question and find myself eavesdropping as I stand and pull my jeans up. I don’t flush yet because I want to hear her answer.

  Alice hesitates but finally says, “I do trust him. I just don’t trust him with Ivy.”

  “Why would you not trust him with her?” Thea questions.

  “He's keeping things from her she needs to know, but it's not my place to tell her what he's hiding. It makes me question his motives.”

  “You are speaking of his past with Ivy, no?” There's a pause in the conversation and I'm puzzled with her statement.

  What past?

  Thea continues, “So, it's true he has not told her?” There's another pause.

  “She has no idea who he really is,” Alice answers.

  “She does not know she is the reason for his fall?” Thea questions in surprise. It's the first time I've heard her speak with emotion.

  My entire body freezes with her revelation. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I think my heart's stopped. I can’t feel. I have to get out of here. I reach back and flush the toilet. Leaving the restroom, I storm back to our table. Unfortunately, I left my keys and wallet with Alice.

  I try to regain control of my anger before I reach the table. It spews out of my mouth as I connect eyes with Alice and snatch up my belongings. Through gritted teeth, I growl at Alice, “You should have told me.” She looks confused at first, but I watch the realization hit her. She knows I overheard their conversation.

  Before she can reply, I turn my back on her and run to my car. I rip the engine and peel out. My phone starts ringing with Alice’s ringtone. I hit ignore and crank up the stereo, driving out to the cliffs overlooking the city. When I park on top of the mountain, I shut the engine off and glance at my phone. I have six unanswered text messages from Alice. With a heavy sigh, I get out of the car and stomp to the edge of the cliff. This place has become my getaway when I've needed it. The cool breeze on my face carries memories of Jack, of my father, and now Solas. The story Solas told me in this exact spot floods through my mind.

  ‘I was sent from Paradise to guard over a special person—a young girl. I was never to reveal myself to her as an angel. As you know, I have the ability to shapeshift. I used it to conceal who I really was so I could stay close to her. I even changed my name. I befriended her and protected her for years, whether she knew she was in danger or not. I fell in love with her… and she fell in love with me. I was ordered to cease all romantic ties with her. I broke her heart, but we remained friends.

  ‘Years later, there was an attack, and I was outnumbered by Fallen. I wasn’t fast enough, and they tried to kill her. When I tried to reach her, the enemy transported me to a desert. I fought to get back, but he pulled me into the Veil. She almost died, but she was strong and unrelenting. She survived. I was full of rage for the beasts that tried to kill the only person I had ever loved. I took out the Fallen who pulled me into the Veil and used him to breach Sheol. I was going to hunt down every last one of them.

  ‘I came across the Prince and attacked him. Then, I was captured and tortured. Azrael came to me. He said I had defied angelic law by crossing over into Sheol. So, my essence fell. My golden wings turned dark with shame, and I was placed into Beleth’s legion to serve. I was brought back to the surface when he took over the mission to capture you.’

  I remember how sad he was when I asked, ‘What happened to the girl?’

  His words echo in my mind, ‘That's a story for another time.’

  I make the connection I've been denying since I laid eyes on Solas and whisper into the wind, voicing my realization, “Gideon.” A tear falls down my face.

  I’m such an idiot! I should have made the connection long ago. His eyes, the way he moves, and the fact he's the only person who ever called me “princess” as an endearment and not
a title. Gideon. How am I supposed to face him now? What do I say? How could he keep this from me?

  I glance back down at my phone. I now have ten unanswered text messages from Alice. I open them to see what she has to say.

  Alice: I'm so sorry! I couldn’t tell u. I swore an oath!

  Alice: He told me he would tell u when u were ready.

  Alice: Ivy, please answer me.

  Alice: I’m sorry.

  Alice: Where did u go?

  Alice: Come back and get us. We can talk about this.

  Alice: Ivy, please.

  Alice: Ivy!

  Alice: I need 2 know u r at least safe.

  Alice: Fine. I’m coming 2 look for u.

  I know she'll find me soon if I stay here, and I'm not ready to see her yet. I can’t believe she would keep something like that from me. They all blame me for his fall. It is my fault. I have to find a way to fix this. I take my jacket off as I slide into my car. I have to find somewhere to be alone. I’m not ready to face anyone yet. Especially Solas. I take out my cellphone and text Alice back.

  Me: I need 2 b alone. I need space 2 think. Please let me have that. I’ll be @ our house.

  I start the engine, and my phone beeps with her response.

  Alice: What do I tell S?

  “You mean, Gideon?” I mumble before texting her back.

  Me: Tell him the truth, but make sure he understands I need space. I'll call u when I’m ready 2 talk.

  As I leave the dirt road and reach the main stretch of highway leading back into town, my phone beeps again.

  Alice: Ok.

  The house is dark and cold when I arrive. No one has stayed here in weeks, during which time the temperature has dropped so dramatically it's been snowing off and on. Switching on the foyer light, I close the front door with my foot. I saunter into the living room and start a fire in the hearth. My body collapses to the floor in front of the fireplace. The motion jars my body and stirs a world of emotions inside me that are so intense I can barely breathe. Sitting in the quiet dark and waiting for the flames to grow higher, I pull my knees to my chest. I need this place of peace to be alone, to think, to cope, and manage my emotions. My heart needs the time to process and accept the things my mind already knows.

  Solas is Gideon. Gideon never betrayed me. It’s my fault he fell. If he weren't responsible for me in the first place, he never would have slipped into Sheol to avenge what he thought was my death.

  Tracing the outline of my lips with my thumb, I replay everything Solas has said to me, everything we did. I should have known better. I chose to believe things are only black and white, when in reality, as I look closer, everything's indistinguishable shades of gray.

  He's loved me all along. I stopped loving him when I thought he betrayed me. And in a way, he has. He kept this from me. He lied. How can I trust him now? Do I still love him? I do. I still love him. But how could he ever love me when I was the sole reason for his fall? How can I face him again? I have to find a way to fix this.

  I must have closed my eyes at some point in the night while settling into the staleness of my surroundings.

  I'm kindled awake with a soft glow, and the smell of dark roast coffee. I hear her stir beside me. Keeping my eyes shut, I grumble, “What are you doing here, Alice?”

  She releases an audible sigh that compels me to open my eyes. Sitting on the red sofa with her legs crossed, she leans forward with her elbows on her knee, and a steaming white mug clutched in her hands as she looks down at me on the floor. “Look, I understand sometimes you need to distance yourself from a situation to see it more clearly, but this isn’t the case of this particular situation,” she states firmly. Her tone leaves no room for argument.

  Pushing up to my hands to see her better, I rasp, “Is that coffee for me? Because if this is how we’re going to start the morning, I'll need a few cups.” She passes the warm mug to me with a tight-lipped grimace. I sit up and cross my legs beneath me as I take a sip of the dark bitter liquid. Bringing the mug away from my lips, I stare at the floor to avoid Alice’s scrutiny. “I can’t face him right now, Alice,” I mumble to the ground.

  “Well, neither can I. He’s pretty pissed off at me right now. He said he planned on telling you after we dealt with Lucian. He didn’t want anything distracting you from the mission. I do find it rather shitty your father didn’t bother to tell us what happened to him. He could have mentioned that he fell instead of letting us search everywhere for your ‘missing warrior,’ ya’ know?”

  Her last statement opens a whole new can of worms I don’t want to get into. Solas was the missing warrior.

  Though it makes sense to me now as to why he was missing, I decide to let it go for now and bob my head in agreement. “I heard him tell one of the brothers over the phone that he wanted to wait to tell me. This is all my fault, Alice. He’s been trying to tell me for a while now. I wouldn’t let him. I told him that his past didn’t matter and I would still love him.”

  “He made his choices, Ivy. This isn't your fault. Neither is it your fault that he fell. That was his choice as well.”

  “But if it weren't for me, he never would have been in the position to fall in the first place.”

  Alice sits up, “His journey was meant to be. It was his destiny. You can't blame yourself for his fall. It was already written in the stars for him. His journey has and continues to mold him into the being he is and needs to be. The path he took was exactly what was needed to bring him to where he is now. And now is exactly where he's intended to be.”

  A tear runs down my cheek. I know she's right, even though I can’t seem to stop blaming myself. “How could his destiny be to fall from Light into Darkness? What sick and twisted mind writes these destinies for us to suffer?”

  Alice tilts her head with a loving smile. Her soft voice caresses my heart, “You already know the answer to that. Beings are not meant to be omnipotent. There's a purpose for everything that happens to us. In spite of it all, not everything will turn out the way you want or expect it to. It'll blind you and kick your teeth in. All the pain, losses, and betrayals will become a branding mark on your tongue. You won’t always wake up to beautiful wine-colored roses blossoming outside your window.” She slides off the sofa to her knees in front of me. Her tone becomes firm again as she grips the tops of my arms, “And when you don’t, I'll be here to pick you up and set you straight. We have a battle to win, and we can’t let this get in the way of our rationalizations.”

  I wipe my face with frustration. “What do you suggest? How do I get past this and face him again?”

  Alice shrugs her shoulders, “There's only one thing to do now... Pizza, alcohol, cards, and cigars.” She winks at me, and I shake my head.

  She knows me too well. We exchange cunning smiles and spend the rest of the day doing exactly what we need to do—unwind and refocus. Alice sends a text to Eric, letting him know where we are and asks him to bring our armor and costumes over. We don’t plan on leaving the house until absolutely necessary, and that isn’t until it’s time for the Greek Masquerade Ball the next night.

  Neither of us is ready to face Solas, and while we want to use our time away to sort through our thoughts, it works well for our plans to deter Lucian as well. Alice and I decide to leave from home and drive straight to the coliseum in our costumes for the gig, keeping us separate from the group. Everything seems to be working out perfectly, but I know better than to get comfortable. Our reprieve is only the calm before the Hell storm.

  Chapter 28

  Alice leaps out of bed beside me, “Oh, crap! Eric was supposed to bring our costumes last night!”

  “Shh!” I shush her harshly, half hanging off the bed with my hair in my face.

  Her form blurs with angelic speed as she searches the chaos of my bedroom for her cell phone. Throwing a jacket off of an open empty pizza box on the floor, Alice snatches her phone from inside of it. Her fingers fly over its screen with rapid tapping. “Oh, good,” she says i
n relief. “He dropped them off on the porch after we passed out.”

  I grumble, “Awesome. What time is it?”

  She glances at her phone. “Crap!” Her wide eyes zero in on me, “It’s three o’clock.”

  “What! We only have three hours to be out the door!” I jump out of bed and grab my towel. “You make coffee while I take a shower. Then, we’ll switch, and I'll make breakfast.” Wildly, we charge off in different directions and spend the next three hours showering, eating, putting on make-up, styling our hair, and squeezing into our costumes.

  When she told me at the beginning of the semester that her costume was a surprise, she had said, ‘It’s very…me.’ I laughed at the irony when she came out of her room in a purple dress, fake white angel wings strapped to her back and a fuzzy white halo on top of her head.

  By six o’clock, we're in my car, and I'm driving towards Red Meadow University’s campus. Alice sends a text message to Becky and Regan that we're on our way to the coliseum, and Regan lets us know she and Becky have all the gear packed into her Xterra. Alice sends another text to Eric to let everyone know we'll meet them at the Masquerade Ball and relays his response, “Ok. Everyone's standing by and will head out right as we're taking the stage. They decided to come in together as a group...at the same time.”

  “Why are they changing the plan?” I ask, giving her a sidelong glance, trying to ignore the bouncing halo attached to her head.

  “I’m not sure, but it makes sense if you think about it. If they come in as a group, Lucian will still be looking for you in this,” she gestures to the racy ringmaster costume I'm wearing, save for its top hat and matching gold masquerade mask—which Alice talked me into getting because it matched her purple one. My costume’s white, spaghetti strap top has a thick gold outline accentuating my cleavage. The red velvet tailcoat has black cuffs lined with gold lace, matching the bow tie around my neck, while gold tassels hang off the shoulders and beautiful rhinestones accent the lapels. My black high-waist shorts appear straight out of the seventies and accompanied with my black suede Steve Madden ankle boot stilettos, my bare legs go on for miles. Alice continues, “This way, Lucian will see you on stage as a ringmaster at the same time our guys walk in together. Once we change into our armor after the gig, he'll still be looking for the ringmaster, not the warrior.”