The Helio Trilogy: Volumes 1-3

by Valerie Roeseler

  “I don’t know what to say to her, man,” Jack confesses to Eric. Like a frightened child, I duck behind the terrace wall with my back to the smooth stone, and my knees pulled to my chest.

  Eric suggests, “Just be honest with her. I know you say you’re past it and just want her back, but we all know there’s no man that noble—or angel.”

  Their footfalls crunch in the snow as they continue further away from the manor. Jack’s tone is pensive as he admits, “I can’t hate the guy too much. Even if he’s Fallen, he still took care of her when I couldn’t. Nobody knew if I was ever coming back. It’s rare if anyone gets to return after they die. I don’t blame her for moving on. Yeah, it was quick. But there was history between them whether she knew it or not.”

  They’re silent a moment, then their trudge through the snow halts. Eric’s voice is the softest I’ve ever heard, “She hates herself, you know?”

  I furrow my brows. What the hell does he know?

  “It’s eating her alive.”

  “I can’t let her feel like that,” Jack says forcefully. “I thought maybe she wanted my forgiveness, but I couldn’t give that to her because she did nothing wrong. Then, she tells me that even if I did forgive her, that she still couldn’t forgive herself. What the fuck do I do with that?”

  The snow begins to crunch again, and I have to strain to keep hearing them. Eric mumbles, “I don’t know, man. We’ll figure it out.”

  My chest stings with shame. I love Jack. I never wanted to hurt him. If I want to be with Jack again, I know what I have to do. I have to find Solas.

  I push myself from the ground, sneak to the kitchen, and make a cup of coffee. Thea enters the kitchen as I take a seat on a barstool against the marble island. I greet, “Good morning.”

  “Morning,” she mutters, filling her own mug with coffee.

  “Did we get you hooked on caffeine from dragging you to the coffee shop so much?” I tease.

  “Maybe a bit,” she grins across from me, leaning on the island with her elbows.

  “What are you up to today?”

  “Alice has me running to town for some errands.”

  I ponder a moment about how old Theodora truly is and if she’s ever known another being with Second Sight. “You’ve been around a long time, right?”

  She clears her throat as she stands straight. “In a manner of speaking, I guess you could say that.” She gazes into her coffee, blowing the steaming liquid to cool it down.

  My fingers tap against my own mug three times before I ask, “Have you ever known another being with Second Sight?” Thea freezes, her body tense as she continues to avoid my eyes. “Sorry. I just have some questions, and nobody seems to have answers for me.”

  Thea places her cup down with delicacy, then inquires, “What do you want to know?”

  I glance away with a crooked purse of my lips before I regard her again, “I need to know if there are different ways to induce a vision. I’ve tried meditation into a fire, but it had brutal side effects. And I’ve tried shocking my body by submerging myself in freezing water, which isn’t as fun as you may think.”

  Thea chuckles, the tiny mole beneath her left eye rises as the apples of her cheeks crinkle the corners of her eyes. “If you have been using such harsh means to accomplish a vision, then you should have no problem scrying.”

  I raise a brow, “What’s that?”

  “It’s exactly what you did when you meditated into the fire, except scrying is done through water in a large, black bowl.”

  I roll my eyes. “That’s it?”

  “That’s it,” she affirms, patting my arm. “I’ve got to get going before Alice starts yelling at me. Good luck.”

  “Thanks.” After Thea leaves, I shake my head with a huff at the simplicity of scrying. I finish my coffee and find a large, black, mixing bowl in the cupboards before heading back to my room.

  Taking precaution against someone walking in on my attempts, I lock my door and the balcony before taking the bowl to the bathroom and filling it with water. I secure the entrance into the bathroom as well, place the bowl in the center of the room, and sit cross-legged in front of it on the cold, pristine, white tiles.

  I block out all commotion from the house and lean forward on my knees as I focus on the blackness beneath the static water. The longer I gaze, the more my surroundings fade until all I see is darkness. I concentrate on my breathing. One breath. Two.

  I have no doubt of the location my vision takes me as the dark corridor within Sheol reappears before me. The pungent stench of sulfur and blood is strong enough that I taste it on my tongue. Without thinking, I trace my hand along the wall as I take a silent step forward. I look to my palms, wet with thick, dark, blood. The low growl of a hellhound sends vibrations through the cavernous passageway. Sasha’s red eyes burn in the distance ahead of me. Her broken barks ring in my ears as if she’s calling for backup. My eyes widen. There’s nowhere for me to run.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” a deep voice booms. My heart plummets into my stomach. I search the darkness for him, but there’s nothing but cave walls.

  “Solas?” I whisper.

  Sasha charges and leaps for me. My wings burst from my shoulder blades, shielding me in a cocoon.

  My breathing’s labored with adrenaline as my heart races, and my mind peels away from my vision. I rush to the sink with the bowl and pour the water out before stuffing it beneath the counter. Turning away from the counter, I lean back on my hands as I regulate my breathing. He was there. I heard his voice. I’ve got to find a way to get to him.

  My head snaps up to a knock at my bedroom door. I spin to the mirror, checking my reflection for any telling signs of my vision before I sprint to answer the door. Easing the door ajar as I feign my composure, I find a black envelope at the foot of the threshold. I swallow the lump in my throat at the resemblance of the envelope Solas left for me Thanksgiving night. With hesitation, I retrieve the parcel and close the door behind me.

  I plop into the closest high-back chair facing the cold hearth. I stare at the blank envelope a moment before turning it over and ripping it open. Sliding out a single, thick, square of paper, disappointment fills my heart. Its elegant design of black latticework is accented with silver calligraphy reading:

  You are cordially invited to

  The Roe Estate New Year’s Eve

  Black Tie Bash

  Wednesday, December 31

  9 PM to 2 AM

  I mock, Black tie? Really?

  As if she can read my thoughts through the walls, Alice sends me a text.

  Alice: Check ur closet. Ur welcome.

  “What did you do?” I mumble as I rise from the chair, tossing my phone on its cushion.

  Hanging in the back of my closet, neatly displayed over the full-length mirror is a stunning ball gown. Its strapless bodice sparkles with gold sequins that flows down its flared skirt, dissipating over its black tulle. The effect is nothing short of a clear night sky. On the floor beside the base of the dress is a black pair of open-toe heels with three gold, metallic feathers which wrap around the ankle, foot, and toes. The corner of my lips pull up to one side in a tight grin. I love that girl.

  My phone beeps with another text.

  Alice: U and Thea have appt @ the salon downtown.

  Me: Ur the best A! I love u!

  Alice: Love u 2!

  Theodora and I spend almost seven hours at the salon getting our nails, hair, and makeup done. In a way, the pampering feels like the pre-prom ritual I never experienced. I refused to attend with Gideon gone, and I didn’t want to go alone. Memories of high school turn to thoughts of Gideon, and Gideon’s face morphs into Solas. How am I going to find you, Chief?

  Thea interrupts my thoughts as the last of the lip color is being applied to my lips, “So, did you have any luck with that thing we talked about this morning?”

  I blot my lips together and turn to the stylist as I rise from her chair, “Thanks.” Reaching for my t
hings, I address Thea with a lie, “Um… No. I haven’t tried it yet.”

  Exiting the salon, I sense Thea’s disbelief when she grunts. We continue down the block to my car—my beautiful, white Evo Lancer. The tiny hairs on the nape of my neck tingle. It’s not the same sensation of static electricity associated with the presence of demons, but the innate perception of someone watching you close. I remain impassive as we reach the car and I discreetly examine our surroundings. A shadow moves around the corner at the end of the block. I continue to ignore it, sliding in the driver’s seat and taking us back to Jack and Evelyn’s estate.

  We have half an hour until the party starts as we sneak into our rooms unseen to change into our dresses. My dress is beautiful, but I feel ridiculous attending a black tie party for New Year’s Eve under the same roof I sleep. My eyes are thinly lined in black, while my lids are dusted gold with smoky black corners and a soft pink base. The dark red shade of my lips—the stylist called the color Ox Blood—complements my skin tone with warmth. I brush my long black waves over the front of my shoulders and give a little spin in the mirror when there’s a knock at my door.

  I’m aware of him before I open the door to the hallway, nerves of anxiety and anticipation quickening my heart rate. Jack turns from the hallway to face me with his charming smile and a wink as he adjusts the cuff of his left sleeve. My body melts from head to toe, and I find myself staring.

  His hair’s parted from the side with lazy waves that appear effortlessly sophisticated, and his green eyes are intensified against his all black fitted suit as they sweep down my body. Jack’s deep velvet voice pours a sense of calm over me, “You look exquisite, Sunshine.”

  I blush, “You look amazing as well. Black suits you.”

  He takes a slight bow, extending his hand to me, “May I accompany you to the party, Miss Harris?”

  Sliding my hand into his, the butterflies stir in my core, “I would love that.”

  Jack leads me down the stairs as music booms through the house from the training room below the first floor. I’m curious as to how Alice and Evelyn expect us to dance on the padded flooring in heels and don’t know what to expect. As we descend the steps to the basement, soft glowing rope lights line our path. I’m in awe of the transformation our training room has gone through. The padded flooring has been removed, giving way to white marble. Candelabra chandeliers reflect across the floor’s shining surface with their dim lighting. A table in the far corner houses a large stereo connected to the surround sound while another table on the side wall displays a chocolate fountain surrounded by an assortment of foods, snacks, and drinks.

  Jack’s gaze watches me closely. I ask, “Where are we?”

  “They did an amazing job, didn’t they?” he replies.

  I meet his stare, “This is far more than I expected.” I spot Alice talking with the girls from our band. “I’m going to go say hi.”

  Jack nods, releasing my hand. As I walk across the room, I see Thea speaking with her brothers as Eric and Evelyn greet Jack. All the men are in matching all black suits, softening their everyday ruggedness. Evelyn’s wearing a lavish, one shoulder, black evening gown with rhinestones grouped at the left side of her waist. It is slit from the floor to her knee, lined in gold over her left leg. She’s stunning. Thea seems uncomfortable in the attire Alice picked for her, but she radiates a classic beauty she seems unaware of. The backless halter is covered in gold sequins, separated by a black silk belt connecting to its floor-length, taffeta skirt.

  The top of Alice’s black, cap sleeve gown meets its flowing chiffon skirt with two large, gold wings, leaving her back exposed. Regan’s elegant in her simple black dress with gold zigzag patterns accenting the shape of her body. Becky’s sleeveless black dress has gold latticework from the halter to just below her hips with a gold silk belt at her waist and wide gold cuffs on her wrists. But it’s her hair that throws me for a loop. No longer does Becky have her unnaturally vivid red hair. It lays over her shoulders in soft golden blondes and caramels.

  My eyes widen with every step in their direction “Holy shit! Is that Becky Cartwright?” I mock.

  She rolls her eyes, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I finally said ‘fuck it’ and went back to my roots.”

  I hug her in greeting, “Well, you look amazing.”

  “Thanks.” As she pulls away, her eyes drift to the Griffins. She mumbles, “Not as amazing as he does.”

  Alice and I give each other a quick glance. Becky and Regan excuse themselves to get refreshments, and I turn to Alice, “This is incredible. I have no idea how you and Evelyn managed to do all of this in a day, and it’s way more than I expected.”

  “What did you expect? It’s New Year’s Eve.”

  “I don’t know. Pizza, alcohol, cards, and cigars?” I wink.

  Alice giggles and Eric joins her side, “My Lady, may I have this dance?” Alice blushes, taking his hand, and they make their way to the dance floor.

  Jack whispers in my ear from behind me, sending chills of pleasure down my spine, “Dance with me.” Without waiting for my response, his hand slides to my lower back, and he guides me to the middle of the floor. He steps in front of me, leaving his hand on my waist, and holds his other hand out for me to take. His touch is warm and soothing as we glide across the floor.

  As the night goes on, Cassius switches between dancing with Evelyn, Regan, and Theodora. Beckett takes turns dancing with his sister as well but spends most of the night with Becky—except for the twenty minutes of swing dancing with Evelyn. Alice and Eric stay close all night, and Jack and I let the night wash away the fight we had. When midnight approaches, Alice yells over the music, “Alright everybody! We’re taking this party outside! Follow me!”

  We follow Alice upstairs and gather behind the manor. It’s freezing with a light breeze, and all the girls hug themselves to keep from trembling. Alice nods to Evelyn. Evelyn walks further into the property. When she’s deep enough into the dark for Becky and Regan not to be able to see her, she flees to the edge of the property.

  Alice gives a single clap. “Twenty seconds until midnight. Everybody count down with me.”

  Eric lifts his watch for her to see and they begin the countdown together, “Ten. Nine.”

  The rest of us join in, “Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four.” Jack turns to me with a small smile, reminding me of the traditional midnight kiss. At this moment, he’s all I see. His beautiful green eyes bore into me, and our bodies seem to gravitate towards each other. As our breaths mingle in the small space between us, Jack’s hand trails in a soft caress up my arm. My heart pounds as the others continue, “Three. Two. One!”

  BOOM!

  Explosions ring through the sky in shimmering colors of green, purple, white, blue, and red. I jerk my head to the sky, and everyone yells, “Happy New Year!”

  Jack brushes my hair behind my ear as he speaks low, “Happy New Year, Sunshine.”

  “Happy New Year, Jack.”

  Our eyes catch each other’s, and the world drops away. Fireworks in an array of colors dance and reflect in his gaze. He shakes his head as if coming to his senses and kisses the top of my head before walking away to find his mother without another word. Turning to my friends, my brows raise in surprise at Beckett and Becky kissing each other rather intimately. Cass clears his throat and throws an arm over Thea’s shoulders to lead them back inside. Alice and Eric follow as Regan rolls her eyes and joins them. Not wanting to be the oddball, I call over my shoulder, “Goodnight guys.”

  We bid Regan and Becky a good night after Beckett and Becky join us inside. Beckett’s grinning from ear to ear as he ascends the stairs to his room. Jack’s yet to return with his mother, so I find the parlor on the second floor. After a few shots of whiskey, I snatch the rest of the bottle and take it to my room.

  I continue through my room to the balcony for a cigarette and find Jack waiting for me. He leans back against the terrace wall with his hands in his pockets, his suit jacket hung besid
e him. His tie and the first few buttons of his dress shirt are undone. I sigh, setting the bottle of whiskey on the table. “I was wondering where you were,” I smile. My blithesome disposition’s met with impassive hooded eyes. I take a step forward, wanting him to speak up through the silence between us.

  His voice grates with uneasiness, “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Ivy.”

  If it’s one thing that I loathe, it’s being told what I can and can’t do. My temper simmers beneath the surface. “It’s not your problem. It’s my problem. I can’t forgive myself for what I did to you, Jack.”

  He pushes off the terrace wall, keeping his hands in his pockets. “Not my problem?” I don’t answer him. “Not my problem, Ivy? How could you think that?” My eyes strain against tears building behind them. Jack shakes his head at the ground with a sigh. “What’s it going to take, Ivy? What’s going to make you let this go?”

  “I don’t know,” I utter without meeting his gaze again.

  Jack hesitates in the silence, runs a hand through his hair, and walks past me. “Let me know when you figure it out.”

  My bedroom door slams shut, making me jump. I teeter from side to side, taking my heels off before tossing them into my room. Shuffling forward, I lean my palms on the wall of the balcony, finding Jack’s suit jacket beneath my fingers. I clutch the fabric in my hand and bring it to my face, taking in the smell of him.

  I miss you, Jack. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to fix this.

  Chapter 4

  I coil into myself on my bed as I cry into Jack’s suit jacket clutched tight in my hands. I wish we could go back to the way we were before. Before The Keep changed me. I know I have to find a way to fix things between us. I need time to forgive myself, but I feel time slipping away from me as if I’m going to lose Jack all over again.