Finding Mrs. Wright

by Sherri L. Lewis

  Shauntae gave Pop an awkward hug as well. Shauntae walked back over to the bed and stared down at Brianna. She didn’t touch her, hug her, kiss her, or do any of the things you would expect a mother to do. She just stood there staring. “Is she gon’ die?”

  I shook my head. “No.” I walked over and stroked Brianna’s arms and smoothed her braids down. “She’s in a coma, but she’ll wake up when her sugar levels get under better control.”

  Shauntae kept staring at Brianna, like she never considered her a real person with a real life before. “Then she gon’ be fine?”

  I shook my head again. “Diabetes is a lifelong disease. She’ll have to be on insulin for the rest of her life.”

  Shauntae gasped again and stumbled backward. Cassandra reflexively placed a hand on her back to steady her. Cassandra was, unfortunately, one of those nice people who was all touchy and comforting when a normal person would need her to be. I guessed she had totally missed the evil vibe Shauntae had given her earlier.

  Shauntae gave Cassandra the evilest look I had ever seen her give anybody. And she’d given me plenty. Cassandra stepped back from her like she had been slapped. She looked at me and all I could do was close my eyes and take a deep breath.

  My mom went over to Cassandra and held her hand. Shauntae moved back to Brianna’s bed, but not as close this time. “So she has to take insulin pills every day?”

  “The doctor said that insulin can only be injected. She either has to get shots four times or more a day or she can get a pump. We still have to talk about—”

  “Shots four times a day?” I hadn’t seen Shauntae look so scared other than when she went into labor with Brianna. “You mean with a needle?”

  I nodded.

  Shauntae shook her head and moved away from the bed, looking at Brianna like she was a monster or something. “Who’s s’posed to give her the shots?”

  “One of us. Whoever she’s staying with.” The look on Shauntae’s face let me know that there would be one good thing that would come out of Brianna’s diagnosis. I would finally get full custody of my daughter. “She has to get her finger stuck to monitor what her sugar levels are. She has to be on a very strict diet that includes home-cooked meals and we have to monitor how many calories she takes in. We have to go to a diabetes education class to learn how to take care of her.”

  All eyes were on Shauntae. We all knew she was completely overwhelmed and would never be able to handle it. My dad had a small grin forming at the corners of his mouth. Mom’s face looked hopeful. We were all realizing what this meant.

  “I can’t . . . I . . .” Shauntae stepped back from the bed and leaned against the wall. “I can’t shoot no needles. I . . . I can’t do all that.”

  “It won’t be easy, but we’ll learn everything,” I said.

  Shauntae shook her head firmly. “Naw, I can’t do none of that. You gon’ have to keep her.”

  I put a hand on Shauntae’s arm. “Okay. You should still come to the class with me on Monday and then you can decide. Mom and Pop will be coming so they can learn how to take care of her too.”

  “I can’t go to no diabetes class. I can’t stick her with no needles.” Shauntae kept shaking her head back and forth. “You gon’ have to take her.”

  I hoped my face didn’t show how happy I was to hear her say those words. “We’ll talk about everything later. Okay?”

  Mom laid a hand on Shauntae’s shoulder. “Even though Devon will have full custody, I’m sure you’ll still want to spend time with her. You can come spend time with her at our house anytime you want to, okay? Even spend the night on the weekends if you want to.”

  Shauntae nodded and was quiet for a second, but then it was like a light went off in her head. I knew the word “custody,” in her mind, was equivalent with those magic words—“child support.” She looked at Mom and then looked at me. “Wait a minute. I didn’t say nothing about full custody.”

  I groaned inwardly. I knew my mother was just trying to help, but her choice of words was about to start a small war.

  “Naw—I ain’t giving up custody of my daughter.”

  “But you just said you couldn’t take care of her,” Pop said. My parents had seen the light at the end of a six-year-long, dark tunnel and they weren’t about to let go. “Diabetes is a serious disease, Shauntae. If you don’t take care of her right, she could die.”

  I groaned again. I knew what my pop was trying to do, but it was too much.

  “You think I’m gon’ kill my child? I ain’t gon’ kill my child.”

  We all stood there quiet, looking at Shauntae. Cassandra’s eyes were glued to the floor. I knew she was uncomfortable being in the room with all of this going on.

  “What y’all looking at? I know what you thinking. Y’all always act like I’m a unfit mother. Always judging me like you better than me.”

  My eyes widened. I had hoped that Shauntae wouldn’t act a fool today with Brianna sick and my parents and a complete stranger in the room.

  My mom put a hand on Shauntae’s shoulder. “Quartisha, no one is saying—”

  Shauntae shrugged off my mom’s gesture. “You ain’t got to say it. I can see the way you lookin’ at me. You think this is gonna make me give up my daughter, but it’s not.” She turned back to me. “You never stop, do you? Always trying to get out of paying child support.”

  My mouth flew open. “What? Who said anything about child support?”

  “I know you, Devon. You think this is gonna make me give up my daughter so you don’t have to pay child support anymore. Well, it’s not.”

  “Shauntae, you’re the one who said you couldn’t do it. You’re the one who said—”

  “I know what I said. Forget you, Devon. You ain’t gettin’ full custody of Brianna and that’s all there is to it. And in fact, she needs to be at my house on the weekends like before. No more church on Sunday.” She turned in Cassandra’s direction and spat the words, “And no more art classes on Saturday.”

  Cassandra’s eyes left the floor for the first time and she stared at Shauntae, a surprised look on her face.

  “That’s right, Miss Cassandra. No more art class. Now you see what your man is really all about. He’s a deadbeat dad, trying to get out of paying child support.”

  I threw my hands in the air and let out a deep breath. “Shauntae, we’ll deal with this later. The most important thing is for Brianna to get better. And could you please keep your voice down. This is a hospital.”

  Shauntae put her hands on her hips. “I know this is a hospital. Why you always got to treat me like I’m stupid?”

  “I’m not treating you like you’re stupid. I’m just reminding you so that you won’t be so loud.” I paused for a second. “And Cassandra is not my girlfriend.”

  “Oh, now you really think I’m stupid. I saw y’all all hugged up like a happy family before I walked in here. I saw your mama holding her hand, and rubbing all over her back. I know your daddy is wishing she was Brianna’s mother and not me. And I saw the way you was looking at her, Devon. I got eyes. I ain’t no fool. I know what that look means.”

  I froze. Had I been looking at Cassandra some kinda way?

  Shauntae let out an evil laugh. “You such a hypocrite. Fussing at me about having a man in the house while Brianna was there. Talking about how we had to have some discussion before I could introduce her to any man in my life. But you got Miss Cassandra all up in Brianna’s world. Done took her away from me so she could be with your woman and go to church.” Shauntae looked Cassandra up and down again. “No wonder you caught religion all of a sudden.”

  Cassandra picked up her purse and turned to my parents. “It was so nice meeting both of you, even under such difficult circumstances.” She gave them both a quick hug and then turned to me. “Devon, I’m so sorry about all this. Call me if you need anything.” She turned and walked to the door, not even acknowledging Shauntae’s presence.

  I was about to let her leave so as to avoid a
ny further drama, but then I remembered. “Cassandra, your car is at the church. You came over in the ambulance, remember?”

  She let out an exasperated breath and thought for a second. “I’ll call Tisha to come get me. I’ll wait downstairs until she gets here.” She pulled out her cell phone.

  My mom piped up, “Devon, why don’t you take her back to the church? We’ll stay here with Brianna.” She looked at Shauntae. “And Quartisha.”

  “You ain’t got to stay here with me.” Shauntae glared at my mother. I knew she hated hearing her ghetto fabulous first name as much as I did. She turned to me. “Go ’head wit’ your little girlfriend. I’m just fine with my daughter. My daughter that I can take care of.”

  “Really I’m fine, Devon.” Cassandra turned to leave again.

  Mom practically pushed me toward the door. “At least go wait with her in the lobby until her ride gets here.” It was clear that my mother liked Cassandra. Her eyes were all eager and hopeful as she nodded toward Cassandra and smiled.

  “Yeah, go on to the lobby with your little girlfriend, Devon.”

  “Shauntae, not another word. I mean it.” I gave her a look that let her know to shut up. She was at least smart enough to know when she had pushed me to edge. She clamped her lips shut and sat down on the edge of Brianna’s bed.

  Pop said, “Go ahead and walk the lady downstairs, Devon. We’ll be here in case Brianna wakes up.” His eyes had that same eager look my mom’s did.

  I knew both my parents really liked Cassandra and knew what a good woman she was. They were probably already dreaming up some wedding plans for us. They didn’t know that Shauntae had just busted up any possibility of that ever happening.

  Ten

  This time I made sure I kept my eyes straight ahead as we passed all the other patients’ rooms, crossed the nurses’ station, and finally reached the elevator. After she finished calling Tisha to come pick her up, Cassandra walked in silence the whole time. She was probably pissed at Shauntae’s ignorant remarks and might not ever want to deal with me or Brianna again.

  When the elevator door closed, we stood there quiet for a second and then Cassandra let out an unexpected giggle. I looked at her to try to figure out what could possibly be funny after all of the day’s events.

  She had that mischievous smirk on her face. “Quartisha?” She let out a full-fledged laugh.

  I stared at her in disbelief for a second and then had to laugh myself. “You always got some jokes, huh?”

  “You know you like it.” Cassandra stepped off the elevator when the doors opened into the lobby. “Come on, playa. You got to admit, that’s some kinda something. I’ve worked with kids for years and they’ve had some serious names, but Quartisha?” She bugged her eyes out. “Wow . . .”

  “Sorry for all that. I thought that with Brianna sick, she’d act like she had some sense for once. Unfortunately, I was wrong.”

  We walked to a sitting area of the hospital lobby and sat down next to each other on a brown leather couch. Cassandra crossed her long legs and leaned back and closed her eyes. I sat there and watched her, wondering what she was thinking. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes with a thoughtful look on her face. “So, is that why you faded to black over the past few weeks? Because I said my last relationship broke up over baby mama drama?”

  I rubbed my hands together. “Yep.”

  She was silent for a second. The cheesy elevator music playing overhead was repeatedly interrupted by a monotone, nasal voice paging doctor after doctor.

  Finally Cassandra asked, “Why?”

  I frowned. “Are you serious? Your last man’s baby mama couldn’t be any worse than Shauntae.”

  Cassandra sat up. “Please. You have no idea.”

  “She was worse than Shauntae?”

  “Let me say it this way. Warren’s baby mama wouldn’t have been upset at having to inject her daughter’s insulin. She would have been happy for unending access to clean needles.”

  “What?”

  “She was a drug addict. Shot up heroin and also smoked crack. Warren had to go into a crack house to get his son one time. She sold everything he bought his child for drug money. Once she kidnapped him and traveled to Detroit and said he had to pay her money to get his child back. That, my friend, is baby mama drama.” Cassandra rested back against the couch again. “Shauntae is just ignorant and evil with too much mouth. One private conversation with the right sista could stop all that.”

  I laughed. “Is that a fact?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, Shauntae just needs to meet the right one. She’ll catch some sense.”

  I wondered if Cassandra was referring to herself as the right one. I never knew if she really meant anything with all her flirting or if she was just talking.

  She lifted her head off the couch. “So, that’s why you stepped off? Because of what I said about my ex?” She gave me that flirty smile and a faint glimmer of hope rose up in my chest.

  “No. Well, not completely. It was more what you said about all your exes.”

  She frowned, trying to remember the conversation, and then laughed. She sat up, shifted her legs, and faced me. “So you’re saying you’re a heathen with commitment problems and a crazy baby mama?”

  That made me laugh. “Why you gotta put it like that?”

  “I knew you wasn’t no church dude.”

  “What you talking about? I’m a good guy.”

  “The first night we met, I went home and Googled your church to see what kind of teaching you were sitting under. You didn’t even know your pastor’s name.” She sucked her teeth. “Lying to me about your church.”

  I dropped my head and laughed. “Busted.”

  “Why you lie about your church?”

  “Why’d you Google my church when you got home?”

  We both stared at each other but neither of us answered the questions. I guessed we didn’t want to admit that we were feeling each other that first time we met.

  She put a hand on my knee. “You are a good guy, Devon. But Christianity goes beyond being a good guy.”

  “I know. I grew up in the church and I am a Christian.”

  “But?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. When I got to college, I just kinda fell off. Me and God were always cool. I know He’s always there and like I said, I’m a good guy.”

  “So, what made you start coming to my church all regular? I mean, if you were just doing it to impress me, you would have stopped when you decided you weren’t what I was looking for.”

  I shrugged again. “I don’t know.” She looked at me like she was waiting for an answer. “I like it. The music is cool. That pastor is cool. I want Brianna to grow up in church and be a good girl. I mean, it’s good to be in church.”

  She didn’t look satisfied. “It’s not about just going to church. There’s more to it than that. It’s about . . .”

  “Having a relationship with God?”

  She smiled and nodded.

  “I know. I been paying attention to your pastor.”

  “And?”

  “What is this? An interview?” I said. She sat there waiting. “And I’m trying. Me and God are getting closer. I’m praying. I tried to read my Bible but . . . it didn’t work out.”

  “Didn’t work out?” Cassandra chuckled. “What kind of Bible do you have?”

  “You know. A regular Bible. King James Version with Jesus’ words in red print.”

  “Ah hah. That’s your problem. You need a different version. We’ll have to work on that.”

  I wanted to ask her why she wanted to work on it but I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear her answer. Seemed like I had a shot with her again and I wasn’t sure what to think about that.

  She was silent and thoughtful again. Finally she asked, “Devon, I know we don’t know each other very well, but I know you well enough to know that you’re not that kinda guy. How did you end up with Shauntae?”

  I let out a deep breath. “Are you asking f
or a reason? ’Cause uh rah, you don’t need to be all up in my business unless you’re asking for a reason.”

  “Don’t even try it. I told you all my business and you didn’t give up no information. So you needs to start talking.” She flashed me that pretty smile of hers.

  After having the worst day I ever imagined I could have, she . . . she felt good. Too good.

  “It’s a really long, painful, horrible, tragic, unfortunate—”

  “Devon.”

  I shook my head and let out a deep breath. “Chuckie and my other boy AJ are the only people on the planet who know the story. I never even told my parents.”

  Her eyes widened. “That bad?”

  I nodded. “Another conversation for another day.”

  “Maybe you’ll have to take me out to dinner some time to tell me the story.”

  I bit my lip and looked at her for a second. “Maybe I will.” We smiled at each other, but then she frowned.

  “Well, I’m not sure when that could be . . . with everything going on.”

  I shook my head like I was being brought back to reality. Flirting with Cassandra, soaking up her smile, had made me forget—even if for only a few minutes—the reason we were sitting in a hospital lobby.

  “Yeah. Not sure when that could be. I don’t know how . . . when . . .”

  “It’s okay, Devon.” She put her hand on top of mine. “Brianna’s gonna be fine. Everything is gonna be fine. God’s got you both.”

  I squeezed her hand for a second and let out a deep breath. I wanted to believe her. To believe God and to know that my little girl was gonna be all right.

  Her cell phone chimed and she looked down. “That’s Tisha. She’s out in the parking lot.”

  I stood and walked her to the front door of the hospital. She turned to give me a hug. When she first got closer to me and I noticed even the more how tall she was, it felt strange. But with her in my arms, it felt like a perfect fit. Too perfect.

  She kissed my cheek. “Give that to Brianna for me when she wakes up. And tell your parents I said bye.” She walked toward the door but turned back and said over her shoulder, “Oh yeah. Tell Quartisha I said bye, too.”