The Once and Future Scream Queen: Marlene Ambrosia Mysteries

by Brianna Bates

  And that was the whole point. The idea had come to Marlene the other day when she and Artie had first sat down and talked the morning Gwen had been found. In his budget, Artie would call for an elimination of vague line items that turned into discretionary spending and, by implication and some explication, call into question much of the current administration’s spending.

  By presenting it publicly and breaking with precedent, the entire community would be able to review Artie’s proposal. Because it was a no-nonsense, very transparent budget, the Council Members would be hard-pressed to shoot it down for then they would appear crooked in the eyes of the voters.

  Once passed in session, the budget would then go to the mayor. The same logic would apply to him. If Mal A. Gant rejected Artie’s proposal, he would look less than above-board. His credibility on budgetary issues would be laid bare for all to see. If he accepted Artie’s proposal, the mayor would be admitting that Artie’s proposal was sound and worthy of his endorsement.

  Marlene didn’t play chess, but she remembered one of the game’s terms. They had forked the mayor, forcing him to choose between two bad alternatives.

  No one had tried this before because everyone was afraid of Mal A. Gant. To cross him was career suicide and up until this moment, no one had the courage to challenge him in a general election.

  But Artie Ryan did.

  Artie went into very specific detail on his budget. It took him the better part of two hours to read the line items and the definitions and clarifications he was making to the existing budget.

  At the end, Artie sat back. He did his best to hide his triumphant smile.

  Twenty-Two

  Marlene opened the door to her office and tottered on weary, aching legs to her couch. She fell onto the cushions. The dog ran into the room and immediately set to work licking her face.

  “Thank you.”

  Marlene opened her eyes. There was no one else in the room except her and the stray.

  “Oh no.” She closed her eyes. “Not you too?”

  The dog barked, and for a moment she thought she’d imagined the whole thing. But then the stray spoke, just like Cromwell did, to her.

  “You saved me, Merlin. I owe you my life.”

  “You don’t owe me anything. You saved me the other day from the Dark One.”

  The dog barked again. “I’m Jesse.”

  “Nice to meet you,” Marlene said.

  “Huh?”

  Marlene tipped her head back on the couch. From her vantage point, Artie was standing upside down in the doorway.

  “What did you say?” he asked, kneeling beside her.

  “Nothing. Don’t mind me,” Marlene said. “You did great today.”

  He smiled skeptically. “We’ll see. Either it will work, or …”

  “It will work,” Marlene said, not knowing where all this confidence was coming from. “It was the perfect play.”

  “Thanks to you.”

  Marlene closed her eyes again. “It was our idea. And you’re the one taking all the risk. If this doesn’t work, I’ll still be a life coach. You might have to find other employment.”

  He laughed. “Now that you’re officially my campaign manager, your neck is sticking out just like mine. The mayor will try to destroy me definitely. You’re being naïve if you don’t think he’ll try to do the same to you.”

  “You sure know how to cheer a gal up.”

  Artie laughed. She felt his hand on her forearm. “Are you okay? Should I call the doctor? Or take you to the hospital?”

  She liked how his hand felt. “No. I’ll be fine. Just tired out. I didn’t sleep much the last few nights and I’m probably just dehydrated. That’s why I fainted. You know that people usually faint because they’re dehydrated? Blood is mostly water, and when you don’t have enough water, you don’t have enough blood, so if there’s—”

  He squeezed her forearm. “Yes, Marlene, I know all that.” When she opened her eyes to see if he was put off by her rambling, she was pleasantly surprised by his smile and kind, blue eyes. “I was in the Special Forces. I had to know all that.”

  “Right.”

  She was about to close her eyes again, but Artie said, “Marlene.”

  “Yes?”

  His face grew serious. “What happened out there on the road?”

  She’d been dreading this moment where he asked her this question. She didn’t know what to tell him because even Marlene didn’t know what the truth was. She had used some kind of supernatural power to heal the dog. How she had done that, how it had worked, what exactly she had done to the dog … she didn’t know.

  Jesse barked, as if trying to encourage her.

  Marlene stalled. “What do you mean?”

  “With the dog here.” Artie patted his head. “He was going to … he was in pretty bad shape. But then you came over and did something.”

  Marlene made up her mind right there. Artie had enough to think about right now. It wasn’t a good time to share the craziness that was her recent life with him. It would have been too much. And he would have thought she was insane.

  Just like your father.

  She hid a shiver. “I didn’t do anything. Jesse must have just been dazed by the accident. It just took him a minute to catch his breath and pep up.”

  “Jesse?” Artie asked. “How do you know his name?”

  Jesse barked again at the sound of his name.

  Marlene scrambled for an answer. “Just thought of it right now. I mean, he kind of looks like a Jesse, right?”

  Artie literally looked into the dog’s eyes. “If you say so.”

  “It’s a good name,” Marlene said. “He likes it.”

  The dog didn’t respond. Marlene pleaded with her eyes, and Jesse got the idea. He barked excitedly.

  Artie laughed and rubbed behind the canine’s ears. “I can’t believe how good he seems.”

  “Like I said—”

  Artie shot her a look. “Marlene, I’ve been in combat. I’ve seen a lot of bad injuries. And I was willing to bet my life Jesse was going to die. In fact, I’m sure of it. But you did something. I know you did. There’s no other explanation.”

  She thought about telling him. It was so tempting to share her problems with another human being. She was too angry to call Mom back, and Ganny’s own life was kind of messy like always. She had no very close friends she could confide in.

  But what would Artie think? And how could she lay all this at his feet when he needed to focus on his next play? He had to keep his mind on the upcoming election and pivoting against the mayor.

  Artie got up and moved away from them. For a terrified moment, Marlene panicked because it seemed like he was going to walk out and never come back.

  “You saw a lot of horrible things over there, didn’t you?” Marlene asked, hoping to change the subject.

  His eyes got a faraway look. “Yes.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t say anything for a full ten seconds. “I lost good men. Brothers.”

  Marlene felt so bad. He was clearly still trying to process all that loss.

  “I can’t even imagine.”

  “I think about them a lot,” Artie said. “They were good guys. Salt of the earth. War is the great equalizer. We all had different backgrounds but none of that mattered in the proverbial foxhole.”

  “If you ever want to talk about it, I’d be happy to listen.”

  He nodded. Gratefully, she thought.

  ***

  Her phone woke her. She had dozed off on her couch. Jesse looked up at her from the floor. She saw a note taped to her office door but couldn’t read it.

  She checked the caller ID. Oh boy.

  Steeling herself, she said, “Hi, Andrew?”

  “Hey, Marlene.” He took a breath. “I wanted to call and apologize for my behavior.”

  Marlene shook her head. She had rejected him one day ago and until this moment, hadn’t thought of him again. It made her feel guil
ty.

  Fortunately, he was a nice man. And all those compliments she’d paid him were true. So why wasn’t she interested in him? He was cute. She should have found him attractive. Andrew was a real catch.

  “Andrew, you don’t have to apologize for a thing. Like I said, I know how much it hurts to be rejected. I’m sorry.”

  “No need to apologize. I realize how weird and awkward it must have been for you.”

  That was understating it. “Not at all, Andrew.”

  He laughed. “Now you’re just being nice, as always. Come on, Marlene, you met me under the impression I wanted your business. The first thing I do is ask you to teach me how to do your job, which is weird, then I start talking about being rejected by Gwen three days ago, and in the next breath I’m asking you out.”

  “Andrew, I could have handled the situation much better myself. So I’d say we’re even.” She sat up, feeling a little better. It was early afternoon. “And I wasn’t put off by your asking me to show you the ropes of being a life coach. I think it shows what kind of person you are. Not too many people want to help others these days.”

  “Well, thanks, Marlene. But I’m still going to feel bad about it.”

  She laughed. “Okay, me too.”

  “So how about it, then?”

  Wait—is he asking me out again?

  “Uh …”

  “I’d love to learn how to be a life coach.”

  She tried to keep her sigh of relief inaudible. Her mind raced at all the things going on in her life right now. There really wasn’t time to take on an apprentice.

  But how could she turn him away?

  “Tell you what, Andrew. I’ve got a lot going on right now, so we’ll have to start off slow. Can you meet tomorrow morning?”

  “I’ll be at work.”

  “Oh. Right.” She laughed. “Can I meet you there?”

  “That’d be great!”

  “Perfect.” They made arrangements. “I look forward to it.”

  “Me too! And Marlene, thanks again.”

  Marlene hung up and walked on still weak legs to her office door to read the note. It was from Artie:

  Wanted you to rest. Meet me across street when you wake up.

  She smiled and patted Jesse’s head.

  “Can you stay here, Jesse? I have to go see Artie now.” She was eager to hear what news, if any, there was following his big play in front of the Council this morning.

  “I will wait for you here, Merlin.”

  She smiled. “It’s Marlene.”

  She managed to cross the road without turning into road kill. Artie saw her coming before she got halfway and met her in the street.

  “Pizza.” He smiled. “On me.”

  She was too tired to argue. And more importantly, she didn’t want to argue. Artie was good company. He took her arm to steady her, his touch giving her strength, and they walked the short distance to the pizza shop.

  Inside, Artie ordered them a small pie to share and two sodas. She picked out a booth while he went to the fountain and poured their drinks. He came back and slid into the booth opposite her.

  Artie held up his diet soda. “To your health.”

  “To yours.”

  They tapped plastic cups and sipped. Her soda tasted funny, like the syrup had gone bad. She put the cup down and waited for Andre to bring their pie out. The strong smell of garlic wafted from the bread display.

  Marlene said, “You are the talk of the town right now, Artie Ryan.”

  “It’s kind of hard to get my head around it.”

  “Oh really?” She smiled. “I would have thought you were used to it.”

  “Oh shut up.” He balled up a napkin and threw it at her. “You need to get over this idea you have of me from high school.”

  “I kind of am.”

  “This is progress.”

  They both laughed. She was feeling more and more at ease with him.

  “So what’s your next big idea?” Artie asked.

  Her mind went totally blank. But she recalled the Merlin’s advice about never admitting ignorance.

  “You’ll have options depending on how the mayor reacts,” Marlene said, which was vague but true enough. “I think you should announce your intention to run. Once he makes a decision on your budget, you can use that as your springboard.”

  Artie nodded. “Agree. We’ll need to come up with messaging. And I’ve already spoken to Lance about funding. He’s ready to help.”

  Marlene got such a bad feeling whenever he discussed Lance. “And you’re sure he won’t ask you for anything in return?”

  Artie shook his head no. “Lance comes from money. They’ve got a lot of it and don’t need any more. He and his brothers are angel investors. They go around looking for promising companies or people and help them out. They see me as the same thing.”

  “Investors are usually looking for a return.” Marlene could not rid herself of this horrible foreboding feeling.

  “Hey, we’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.” Artie sat up. “For right now, let’s enjoy the pizza.”

  Andre brought a half-cheese, half-pepperoni pie out and put it on top a tiny metal stand on their table. Steam rose off the cheese and it smelled so good. Now that there was food in front of her, Marlene felt how hungry she was. She realized she hadn’t eaten all day.

  “Did Bors talk to you last night?” Artie asked as he de-greased his first slice of pizza. He peeled off the sopping napkin, careful not to take any cheese with it.

  Marlene wondered where this was going. “He did.”

  “He asked me a lot of questions about you,” Artie said. “I didn’t want to talk about it this morning because we had to focus on business. But I also wanted to make sure I gave you the heads-up.”

  “He thinks I killed Gwen?”

  Artie made a face. “He danced around the idea.”

  Marlene shook her head. Her appetite had suddenly vanished. “He doesn’t believe what I’m saying.”

  “About a man in black with a black muscle car?” Artie asked.

  “He asked you about that?”

  Artie nodded and took a bite. Through a half-full mouth, he said, “Oh, this is good.”

  “You didn’t see the man?” Marlene asked.

  Artie shook his head. “I saw Gwen pull in. I didn’t realize it was her at the time because I didn’t know it was her car.”

  “He thinks I’m making it up about this guy and that I killed Gwen because she allegedly was going to back out of our arrangement.”

  “Allegedly?” Artie asked.

  “It’s all hearsay. Apparently she had dinner with the mayor the night before and told him she’d changed her mind about hiring me.”

  Artie frowned. “That’s weird she’d talk about that with the mayor. Isn’t it?”

  “Yes. How would that come up?” Marlene shook her head. “Then again, Gwen didn’t exactly live a very private life.”

  “Fair point.” Artie put his slice of pepperoni down. “When we dated, it was like dating the entire school. Everybody knew everything about us. It was exhausting.”

  Marlene laughed. “Yeah? Well get ready for more of that scrutiny. When you run for mayor everybody is going to be in your business.”

  “Yikes.” His slice stopped midway up to his mouth. “Wait, I haven’t announced my intention. It’s not too late.”

  “It is too late. You’ve already crossed the mayor. No choice now.”

  “Fait accompli.”

  “Is that what a fait accompli is?”

  “I don’t know, actually.”

  They both laughed. Now that Artie had mentioned his prior relationship with Gwen, Marlene was curious.

  “You dated senior year?” Marlene asked.

  “Summer leading up to it and then through senior year.” Artie took another bite and put his crust down. She wondered if he was a guy who didn’t eat the crust. Or if he was a guy who would ask to eat hers.

  “So about a y
ear?” Marlene paused and almost didn’t say the next thing. “Till she cheated on you?”

  Artie was in mid-reach for another slice when his hand stopped moving. “You know, I …”

  “What?” Marlene asked.

  Then she saw the lights. Intermittently they changed from blue to red. Marlene turned in the booth and peered out the front window. Bors’s unmarked sedan and a police cruiser had pulled in front of Artie’s office.

  “What’s going on?” Artie got out of the booth. “What do the cops want now?”

  Marlene knew right away. She rose as well and stepped in front of Artie. They had come to arrest her. Bors had cooked up this crazy theory about why she’d killed Gwen O’Vear, based on hearsay. The mayor could have made up all the details of his conversation with Gwen O’Vear, because there was no way to check them now. Gwen was dead and couldn’t contradict him.

  Bors was headed to Artie’s office, but he must have seen them in the big front window of the pizza shop. The detective changed course and came right toward them.

  “Artie,” Marlene said. “I did not kill Gwen O’Vear. No matter what these idiots say.”

  “I know that, Marlene.” Artie put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re a good person and all you do is help others. You wouldn’t hurt a fly.”

  His words were nice, but were also cold comfort as Detective Bors opened the door and stepped into the pizza shop with the uniformed patrolman following.

  Marlene braced herself for what she knew was coming. She couldn’t believe she was going to be arrested for murder. She’d have to hire an attorney with money she didn’t have, which meant calling Mom. She didn’t even want to talk to Mom right now, let alone ask her for money.

  Then she’d spend months of her life fighting to clear her name and after the system spit her out, she would have no business to speak of. Everything she had worked so hard for would be gone, and that was assuming she was acquitted or exonerated.

  But then Detective Bors surprised them both.

  “Arthur Ryan, you’re under arrest for the murder of Gwen O’Vear. Anything you say …”

  Twenty-Three