The Once and Future Scream Queen: Marlene Ambrosia Mysteries

by Brianna Bates

  “Exactly. It’s time for some new blood in Medboro,” Marlene said.

  “I couldn’t agree more!” He finally stopped smiling and grew serious. “That’s why my son will serve as Lieutenant Mayor in my next administration. That will gain him invaluable experience before he leads this town in the future.”

  “You have to win the election first,” Marlene said.

  The mayor held that smile. “Can I count on your vote? We have a lot of important work to do.”

  “I’ll be voting for someone else.”

  “Now that isn’t smart, Marlene. That isn’t smart at all.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because.” He gave her a look like she was an idiot. “It’s a wasted vote. Who is going to beat me in an election?”

  “Artie Ryan.”

  Gant shook his head. “A child out of wedlock … he probably didn’t know about it, but all the same it doesn’t look good.”

  “He was eighteen years old. And he didn’t know about it. Very cynical of you to think that.”

  “I didn’t say any such thing,” Gant protested. “But let’s not talk about Artie, let’s talk about your fut—”

  “Actually, let’s talk about Gwen.” Marlene flipped him a deadly smile. “You know she told me everything.”

  “Everything can mean a lot of different things.”

  Marlene nodded. “Oh, I’m sure it does to a guy like you. Now when I say everything, I mean everything.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Yeah, hmm.” Marlene was lying about Gwen sharing this information with her, but she knew it was all true. “You found out she had a child out of wedlock. And you used that to call in favors with her while she was trying to get parts.”

  “Marlene.” The mayor shook his head sadly. “Why would I do such a thing? And besides, that would have hardly hurt her career. Gwen was a scream queen. Probably half the men in this country have seen her without a bra on. If anything, news of her giving up a child would have been a notch in her belt.”

  “If she weren’t trying to get serious parts,” Marlene said. “If she weren’t trying to get back into theater.”

  The mayor shifted his weight from one side, back to the other. The dock gently swayed in reaction.

  She knew she had him.

  “You told her to help Alison Gelder out. Quid pro quo. In exchange, Tom was supposed to get you the support you needed for the big box store. When that didn’t come through, you weren’t going to let it go. So you called Gwen up again and told her to sabotage Alison’s career.”

  “You’ve got quite an imagination, Marlene.”

  “You bet I do, but even I couldn’t have thought all this up myself. It’s too sordid.” Marlene pointed at him. “Gwen came back to town to make amends. She’d given up her dream of Hollywood and wanted to come home. She had made peace with the past, so the secret of her child no longer held any power over her. You’d lost your leverage.

  “The first thing she did was confront you. She came to your house and told you it was over. She was going to apologize to Tom Gelder and the truth was going to get out about you. About how you used her and you used Tom to try to get what you wanted.”

  “Marlene, this is ridiculous.”

  “It is ridiculous!” Marlene said. “That you’d use two good people like that to further your political ambitions. What, were you getting some kind of kickback from the big company that was going to come in here and open a store?”

  He said nothing.

  “You manipulated them both. You, no doubt, tried to intimidate Gwen but she was too strong. She wasn’t going to back down this time.”

  “I’m going to play along with what is clearly a hypothetical and has no connection to reality, Marlene. Please go on.”

  “A man you’d never met before showed up that night.” She pictured the Dark One in her mind. “He offered you his services.”

  “Services?” He guffawed.

  “Yes, to intimidate Gwen. You couldn’t murder her, of course, because that would raise too many questions and some of them would lead right to you. So you didn’t kill her. Or have her killed.”

  The mayor just stared at her.

  Marlene went on. “When she turned up dead, it was the best thing that could have happened for you. And you had great suspects just sitting there. Tom Gelder and Artie Ryan. Because you knew about both of their secrets. You knew Tom had gotten his hands dirty with you, and you knew Gwen was going to tell Artie about their child. You knew it all so you played it real smooth. You sat back and waited to see where the chips fell.

  “When Artie dropped his budget proposal. It shined a light on what you’d done historically, and you knew you had little choice but to approve his proposal, because it was fair, transparent, and public knowledge. It had boxed you in.”

  “Your idea?” the mayor asked.

  She didn’t answer. “So you steered Bors toward Artie, because you knew a murder charge, even if it didn’t ultimately stick, would derail Artie. The public would lose interest in his proposed budget, so you could let that die a quiet death and then push your own through. Meanwhile, Artie was supposed to go through the ringer. Ideally, he’d be convicted and your biggest threat would be gone forever. But like I said, even if he didn’t get convicted, he would have that hanging over his head and nobody would vote for a guy still suspected of murder.”

  The mayor looked back at the crowd, as if checking to make sure they were really alone. Then he faced her again.

  “Think about what I said before. I admire loyalty. But I give no quarter to my enemies.”

  “Does it make you feel whole to threaten people? Because that’s pretty pathetic.”

  Gant took one step closer. Their faces were less than a foot apart. “If you go with Artie Ryan, you’ll be going against me. I just want you to go into this eyes wide open, because Mal A. Gant takes no prisoners.”

  “Thanks for the heads-up.”

  He tossed his head back and laughed. “You’ve grown some nerve. The last time we talked, in your office, you were ready to crawl in a hole and die. What happened since then?”

  “A lot.” She smiled. “Nice talking with you.”

  “Remember who you’re dealing with. Mal A. Gant.”

  She stopped to look back at him. “And you remember whom you’re dealing with.”

  “Marlene Ambrosia?” he said. “Never heard of her until yesterday.”

  The Merlin, she thought.

  The Merlin.

  ***

  Marlene got into one of the pontoons and a few minutes later the event coordinators came by and told her where she would be on the lake. Once the volunteers were informed, they began peddling their pontoons out onto Diamond Lake. Marlene headed for the second-to-last turn, which was at an unconnected dock.

  She eased into position, feeling the surprisingly warm sun of mid-April hitting her. It really was a beautiful day. Ten minutes later, the starter fired the gun and she watched as the swimmers ran into the water, hoping to get off to a good start. It would be a good fifteen minutes before they reached her position probably.

  Marlene’s phone rang.

  She hadn’t spoken to Mom since finding out who her real father was. Only a month had passed, but it felt like a year.

  It was time to let it go. Mom probably had a reason for what she did.

  “Hey, Mom.” She smiled. “How are you?”

  “Marlene! I’m great! How are you?”

  “Mom …” Marlene got choked up. So much life had happened so quickly, she hadn’t been able to fully process it. Now tears filled her eyes.

  “Marlene, I’m so very proud of you. I never told you that enough. You’re such a great woman! I told all my friends about how you solved Gwen O’Vear’s murder and then caught the killer yourself. Ganny told me everything. That was really incredible.”

  “Mom …” Marlene was too choked up to speak. “I’m proud of you too. I never told you that enough either.”

&nbs
p; “For what? I was a horrible mother.”

  “You were a great mother. You raised us by yourself after Dad …” Marlene’s voice trailed off. She still thought of him as Dad, even though he wasn’t biologically-speaking.

  “After that relationship, I was too scared to bring another man into your lives. I was oh-for-two on marriages. I sure knew how to pick them.”

  Marlene still had so many questions. So many.

  “Marlene, I called to let you know you’d be getting something in the mail soon.”

  “What is it?”

  “It’s from your father.”

  Marlene gasped.

  “His name was Steven Myrddin.”

  “That doesn’t sound Irish.”

  Mom’s voice grew warm. “I said the same thing to him, and he explained that the Welsh and Irish shared a common ancestry.”

  “Myrddin?” The name was familiar.

  “Yes, with two d’s. He said it was Welsh for fortress on the sea, or something like that.”

  “Hmmm.” That hadn’t fired any synapses for Marlene. “Myrddin.”

  Then it hit her like a ton of bricks.

  In her endless reading of Arthurian legend, she had naturally spent a lot of time learning the variations on all the character’s names, as well as the derivations.

  Merlin was the English name of the character. It was derived from the Welsh name given to the wizard:

  Myrddin.

  “He was a Merlin,” Marlene whispered.

  “What?” Mom said.

  “Nothing.”

  Mom hesitated. “Steven didn’t leave much of a will, but it included a provision that I be notified of his death and that I deliver a letter to you.”

  “A letter?”

  “I just got it in the mail a couple days ago. The note had specific instructions that the letter was for you and I couldn’t read it.”

  Her heart swelled. “He wrote me a letter?”

  “Yes.”

  Tears welled. Marlene was overcome by sheer joy. She couldn’t wait to read it. Since her last conversation with Mom, she had burned to know more about her father but had been too proud and angry to call Mom back.

  A letter … maybe it would explain everything! With a name like that, he had to be a Merlin as well.

  But that only begged the next question: what had happened?

  Had her father always been ill? Or had his powers made him that way? Were the illness and his abilities a dangerous mix that had sent him over the edge?

  Maybe with the letter, she could begin to know.

  “Marlene, I’m really sorry. Really. It doesn’t make what I did okay, but your father begged me not to tell you about him. He had his reasons and I respected his wishes. He was very sick and didn’t want you to come looking for him. He thought your life would be better without him in it. I hope his letter explains why.”

  Marlene couldn’t speak.

  “He loved you very much, Marlene.” Mom’s voice grew thick. “He loved you enough to realize he couldn’t take care of you. He told me to leave him and go back to the States. He gave us all the money he had and said it was for the best. He said he wanted to protect you.”

  “Mom?”

  “Yes, dear?”

  “I love you.”

  “Oh, honey, I love you too.”

  They talked for a few more minutes then said their goodbyes. Marlene sat on the pontoon and just stared at the glimmering water after. Soon, the fastest swimmers reached her. She cheered them on, amazed at how swiftly they were moving.

  She kept her phone out to take pictures.

  A couple minutes later, Ganny and Artie were swimming neck-and-neck, paddling furiously toward the pontoon. It was the perfect photo op. She started snapping away. They had almost reached the dock, when Marlene realized she could step onto the dock and get a better angle. Holding the line attached to the pontoon, she took a big step over and—

  The pontoon shook as her weight shifted and she focused on holding onto the rope and made sure she got her footing on the dock because she didn’t want to get wet.

  But she fumbled her phone.

  Right into the water.

  “No!”

  Ganny and Artie reached the dock. Without a moment’s hesitation, Artie dove deep. Ganny took a moment to tread water and catch her breath.

  Marlene was beginning to worry about Artie. He was down there so long. But then his head popped out of the water. He flashed her a smile.

  “I found it!” He took a deep breath and held the phone out.

  “Okay, Superman. Now that I know you’re alive, I’m going,” Ganny said. “See you at the end, sis.”

  Ganny paddled away quickly. Artie was still holding the phone up to her.

  Marlene bent over to take it from him. “How did you find it?”

  Artie handed it to her. “It was the strangest thing. It was stuck on this enormous boulder on the lake bottom. I really had to pull to get it off the rock, even though nothing seemed to be holding it there. But I managed, because like your sister said, I am Superman.”

  As she took the phone from him, Marlene felt a powerful surge of energy shoot from her arm, through the phone, and into him. A quick vision came to her—

  Artie was standing at a wedding altar, looking back down the aisle as his fiancée walked toward him—

  Artie shouted, “Yo, Marlene! Did you just electrocute me?”

  The vision had come and gone quickly. But the dread it had inspired still filled her. “What are you talking about?”

  He gave her a look. “You, Marlene Ambrosia, just literally electrocuted me.”

  “Uh …” She scrambled for an answer. “I think that was the phone, Artie.”

  “Not possible.” He shook his head. “That phone is probably dead now.”

  Marlene just smiled cheerily. “You need to focus on the race. Go win, Artie Ryan. A victory here will help you in November.”

  He laughed, shaking his head. “You are a slave driver.”

  He paddled away from the dock and headed for the shore. And as Marlene watched him go, she realized history had repeated itself, two different legends blending into one now.

  Her cell phone was Excalibur. She was a lady in a lake right now, and just like the Lady in the Lake, she had given him the phone and he had returned it to her. And last but not least, Artie had taken the sword from a huge stone under the water.

  History repeating itself.

  Or legend repeating itself.

  It was all true. All of it.

  Artie Ryan was Arthur.

  She was Merlin.

  And one day, if she helped him, Artie Ryan would be a great leader.

  As she watched him head to the shore, she marveled at how quickly he caught up to Lance. They were swimming as fast as they could in the home stretch. Marlene looked to the shore and she saw Gwendolyn there, among the crowd. From across the lake, she could hear the woman cheering them both on.

  ***

  Back home that night, Marlene invited Cromwell and the rest of the gang in. Soon her house was overrun by one domesticated animal and a dozen wild ones. She cooked pasta and since it was a rare occasion, she opened a bottle of wine and savored the meal. Jesse liked her pasta sauce. Cromwell nearly choked on the spaghetti. The rest of the animals scarfed their portions up like they’d never eaten before and were never going to eat again.

  “Marlene,” the badger asked. She was still learning all their names. “How are you going to reach older voters? Medboro has a significant elderly population, and all they know and the only person they trust is Mal A. Gant.”

  Marlene laid back on the couch and smiled. “We’ll figure that out. Tomorrow.”

  *************

  Author’s Note

  When I was little, my parents read to me all the time. One of the stories that captivated me from a young age was an early reader version of King Arthur and his knights of the Round Table. As I grew older, I found more and more of these stori
es—and read every one I could get my hands on. From Thomas Malory to Howard Pyle, from T.H. White to Mary Stewart, and on and on, I devoured them.

  When it comes to King Arthur and his most trusted advisor, Merlin, I really enjoy when authors put their unique spins on the legend. I’ve always wanted to do that myself, and this book is my humble attempt to do so. While I wanted to pay homage to the legends, I also wanted to bring the story into the twenty-first century and see what Merlin might be like if he were a woman and what Arthur would be like if he weren’t king but had to run for office.

  Most readers will be familiar with the sword in the stone, the Round Table, the principal characters, and Camelot. For this series, I plan to draw on the many, usually conflicting, versions of the Arthurian legends. Several of them do, in fact, speak of there being two Guineveres in The Once and Future King’s life at different times. In both accounts Arthur loves these women. The first Guinevere he meets dies tragically, usually as a very young woman. The second Guinevere is the one that, in many accounts, is unfaithful to him.

  Many readers will be more knowledgeable than me of Arthurian legend and will take exception to some of the dramatic choices I’ve made here. I expect that to happen and go into this series with eyes wide open, knowing some will be turned off but hoping that others will be pleased—or even pleasantly surprised—and go along for the ride.

  This book is only the beginning of the story. I am hoping people enjoy it so that I can continue the series. I have plans for many more, so if you like this one please, please, please leave me a review on Amazon and let your friends know …

  THANKS FOR READING!

  I hope you enjoyed The Once and Future Scream Queen! I’ve got plenty more adventures planned for Marlene and Artie. If you enjoyed this book, you might also enjoy my Missy DeMeanor cozy mystery series. There is no magic, supernatural forces, or mythical characters in those books, but they do involve a strong female lead in a small-town setting who solves crimes: