Messed Up

by Owens, Molly

  “How come you didn’t tell me your mom was going to be the de facto chaperone?”

  “Why? Are you mad?” he turned away from me, looking hurt and annoyed.

  “No,” I lied, “I was just… Surprised.” There’s an understatement. How about stunned, bewildered, flabbergasted?

  “She’s cool. She likes this music and wanted to come. Anyway it’s cost effective; we don’t have to pay for gas.” Oh yeah, totally worth it.

  It took a half an hour to get through a massive security line, where both my water bottle and apple were confiscated like contraband. I wondered if the concession stand proprietors were in bed with the rent-a-cops. Fortunately for me, they would not allow Toby’s mom to bring her gargantuan umbrella into the concert either, so she had to return to the car. She promised she would call when she got back and found a place to park her picnic blanket. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, I thought happily, maybe she was just a ride and we would be on our own for the day. My spirits started to lift, as I imagined meeting up with Toby’s St. Jacobs friends, namely Levi Bennett.

  Horseshoeing around the outer rim of the concert arena were booths selling an assortment of hemp jewelry, t-shirts, and incent burners. Toby’s sister, Shawn, made a hasty escape into the crowds to meet a couple of her friends. Toby and I meandered around the stalls looking at glass beads and band-logo key chains. Toby chattered about how expensive everything was, comparing each item to something he’d once seen on eBay. A loud booming sound began, and people excitedly pushed their way into the arena to see the first band.

  Toby started bouncing like a friggin’ kangaroo, “Rage Against the Machine!” he yelled as he ran off toward the gate to the arena. I followed quickly, not wanting to get lost in the masses. We entered a packed stadium. At the front was a gigantic stage with speakers the size of a two story building. Adjacent to the stage were several hundred seats, already filled with jumping people. Behind the seats was an expansive hill that was covered with Bermuda grass. The hill was coated in people. It reminded me of looking down on a swarm of ants after watering the dirt, frantic movement in every direction. People who hadn’t forked-out the additional fifty bucks for the seated section must have gotten to the arena early to nab a spot closer to the stage. The only vacant area left was at the top of the long slanting hill. I didn’t think that it would really matter where we sat, I was sure we’d be able to hear just fine with those colossal speakers.

  Toby retrieved his phone from his pocket and stared texting feverously, “Levi has a seat in the chair section,” he said while typing, “He’s gonna to sneak us in.”

  We stood waiting for a reply to the text for several minutes and eventually began climbing up the hill to find an empty spot of grass. We hadn’t gotten half way up when Toby’s mom miraculously reappeared. I tried not to groan outwardly. We finally found a spot, less than twelve feet from the rear fence of the arena. Toby’s mom spread out a blanket and sat down, placing a huge straw sun hat on her head. I joined her on the blanket, glad to finally get my backpack off my sweaty back.

  “Toby,” his mom said handing him something, “Remember what we agreed.”

  “Mom!” he whined like a little kid, “It’s not even that loud.”

  “Now Toby!” she commanded, startling me with her severe tone. Toby grumbled loudly, but eventually opened his hand to reveal a pair of earplugs which he placed in his ears.

  “That’s a smart idea,” I said, trying to keep the peace, “One’s hearing is so important to protect.”

  “Exactly,” she agreed, “I think I have an extra pair in here if you want some,” she began rummaging through her purse. Please, no, I thought, she can’t have an extra pair! Of course, seconds later she anointed me with my own glorious pair of florescent pink ear plugs.

  “Oh. Thanks,” I said shoving them into my pocket, “I think I’ll wait to put them on.”

  Toby’s mom announced she was going to the bathroom, adding some self exposing information about her menopausal status. Toby and I sat in silence, me pondering my cuticles, Toby obsessively checking his cell every two seconds. He had a grim look on his face which turned quickly to relief and then into glee when his phone buzzed with a text. He read and replied to it quickly and then standing up announced, “I’m going to go meet up with Levi. He can get me into the seated area, to hear Tool. I’ll meet you when they’re done playing.” He then practically danced away from me, into the sea of people.

  “What the hell?” I said aloud to no one in particular, “This is freaking unbelievable!” I kept shaking my head in disgust, as anger and hurt welled up inside of me. How had my life come to this? I was stuck at an asinine concert with Toby’s mother, listening to what sounded more like an out of control session of an anger management class than music. Death, go ahead and take me now.

  As it turned out Toby’s mom was actually not so bad. Like her son, she was a chatterbox, and told me story after story of her adventures in the Peace Corps. Unlike Toby, however, she also asked a lot of questions about my own rather uneventful life. We talked through three bands, and by the end of that time she had convinced me to work for her at the Yogurt Heaven she owned at the food court in the mall. I reasoned that maybe this day was not turning out as a total waste. I got a summer job out of the ordeal, which would definitely make my mom happy, if nothing else.

  It was clear by this point that Toby was not planning on returning anytime soon. I had texted him several times to no avail. His mom had fallen asleep next to me with her hat over her face, so I decided to try to find a quiet place to read. It was my habit to keep a book with me at all times. I’d learned this strategy from my dad, a frenetic reader, who forever had a paperback either in his hands or stuffed into his back pocket. If I was between novels, my go-to book was Catcher in the Rye. I had read it at least a dozen times. There was something so mysterious about Holden Caulfield which kept me coming back and back to that book. I utterly related to his opinion of phony people and their hazardous effect on the fabric of our culture. Hannah and I agreed that Holden would be the perfect boyfriend. Which I’m not sure is totally accurate, but he was definitely my biggest crush in the literary world.

  I found one lonesome tree tucked snuggly between a sausage and beer stand and a henna tattoo shop, where I sat down to read. I was about a hundred pages into the book, the part where Holden meets up with Old Sally, when I felt my hair being mussed by a large and gangly hand. I looked up to see Bryce, Toby’s annoying step brother, smiling down at me with his mischievous little boy grin. I was half relieved to see a familiar face and half irritated to be disturbed during one of my favorite scenes in the book. He was standing with a blond haired boy I thought I recognized from the lake photo in Toby’s room.

  “Hey,” I smiled weakly.

  “Enjoying the concert?” he asked knocking my book with the back of his hand.

  “I’m enthralled,” I replied in a sarcastic tone, folding down the corner of the page I was on and tossing the book into my backpack.

  “Where’s Toby?”

  I shrugged, rolling my eyes and looking uninterested “Who knows?”

  Bryce glanced over at the blond boy and they exchanged unreadable looks, “Wait till Levi hears this,” Bryce mumbled to himself as he began texting rapidly. The blond boy laughed lightly. Bryce’s phone responded immediately with a return text. At this, Bryce grabbed my backpack off the ground next to me and said, “Come on, let’s go find him.”

  “I’m okay,” I reached to recover my backpack, “I want to finish my book.”

  He moved the bag out of my reach and called “Come on Chelsea,” like he was enticing a dog with a bone, “Come on, girl.” I got up and started following him, “Good girl,” he praised finally returning my bag to me.

  “You suck!” I punched him in the stomach playfully. “I’m Chelsea,” I said sticking out my hand to the blond boy.

  “Noah,” he said. A man of few words, I surmised.

  I held onto the back of B
ryce’s shirt as he pushed through the throngs of people, weaving his way towards his destination. Noah and Bryce seemed to know exactly where we were going, while I felt like I was lost in a maze of booths all selling versions of the same thing. I wasn’t sure I would be able to find my way back to my little safe haven under the tree.

  We finally arrived at a stall selling hats and patches with band names on them. I scanned the crowd for Toby, and then, in the briefest of moments, before I even heard his voice, it all of a sudden hit me-- I was about to meet Levi Bennett. My stomach somersaulted as I heard him shout, “Hey Noah!” All three of us turned, but my eyes reached him immediately, as if they had waited all their lives to take in such a magnificent sight. Bryce and Noah’s heterosexual male eyes took several seconds longer to find the source of the voice. But in those moments, everything seemed to go quiet and still, as I took in every detail of his person.

  Levi must have dyed his hair since the photo was taken because it was now peroxide blond. His jaw line was sharp and defined and strong. He had a chin that looked like a sculptor had ever so slightly pressed his pinkie finger into the clay producing a soft, yet refined cleft. His deep, deep blue eyes were set perfectly on either side of his sharp nose. And then there were his lips. I’d never seen lips quite so, well, cherub like. They were full and heart shaped and pink; his bottom lip pouting ever so slightly. I swallowed, and time started again.

  “I can’t believe he’s going to do it,” laughed Bryce.

  “Of course,” was all that Noah said.

  “What’s he going to do?” I asked my eyes still fixated.

  “Get completely naked in exchange for a free hat,” Bryce chuckled. And sure enough, Levi began pulling off his shirt. I was astounded. I turned around quickly, feeling my face turn flush. I could hear the crowd around us begin laughing; girls giggling. Several people shouted wildly. Levi was either seriously hard up for cash, or this was the kind of no fear, no limits thing Toby had been referring to.

  “Are you scared to look, Chelsea,” Bryce jabbed me in the ribs.

  “Yes,” I groaned, “I wouldn’t want to tarnish my pure thoughts.” I heard clapping and assumed by this point he was either entirely naked or done with the stunt and getting his clothes back on.

  Seconds later I heard his voice directly behind me, “So, Toby’s up to no good again?”

  I turned around in time to see Levi pulling his white t-shirt back down over his head. I caught the sight of the washboard abs I had suspected would be under his tightly fitting shirt. I reminded myself to breathe, and nodded in response to his question.

  Bryce filled in the details, “He just took off and left her alone.”

  “No,” I corrected, “He left me with his mother.” Bryce and Noah starting cracking up about this, but Levi looked away, like he was trying to hide his reaction. I could see his jaw muscles become tense.

  He turned back to look directly at me and shook his head slightly, “I’m really sorry about that,” he said in the sweet, soft voice I recognized from his phone call. My heart leapt at the sound.

  “Ah, well, life’s a bitch,” I said, sounding much more cavalier then I felt. I shrugged my shoulders and held my hands up in my sign of defeat, “At least I brought a good book.”

  Levi handed Bryce his phone and directed him to text Toby. He returned his attention to me, “What are you reading?” he asked, his voice charming and interested.

  “Catcher in the Rye,” I smiled, “The great American novel.”

  “Ah yes. A classic. So what do you think? Insane asylum or TB ward?”

  Hannah and I had debated this matter endlessly. “Definitely insane asylum. No question.”

  “You’re very sure of yourself,” his mouth turned up into the most glorious smile.

  “Always,” I nodded, smiling back and looking at him directly in the eyes. Oh my god, am I really flirting successfully?

  “I’m Levi, by the way,” he extended his hand.

  “Chelsea,” I said taking his hand in mine and holding for just long enough for my stomach to become completely engulfed in a flurry of butterflies.

  Toby appeared out of nowhere looking jubilant, until he saw me, at which point he appeared stunned, “Chels.”

  “Hey,” I gave him one quarter of a fake smile.

  He turned to his friends, “Where have you guys been? I’ve been looking all over,” he tried to keep his voice light, but I could almost hear it crack, like he was holding back tears. I guess I’m not the only one being ditched today, I thought smugly.

  They all ignored him and Bryce looked at his watch, “Linkin Park is coming on in ten minutes, let’s go.” They began walking in the direction of the stage.

  I considered for a split second going with them, but opted out quickly, “Toby,” I almost shouted, “I’ll meet you with your mom.”

  “Okay,” he called over his shoulder, almost running to keep up with his friends.

  All of a sudden Levi turned around and came back to where I was standing. He put his hand gently on my elbow and looked into my eyes, “You going to be okay by yourself?” I was shocked by how sincerely concerned he sounded.

  “Completely,” I answer quietly.

  He nodded, smiled and walked away.

  As I suspected, finding my refuge under the tree was an impossible feat. Luckily, the concession area was deserted as most of the concert goers had hurried to the stage area to hear Linkin Park. Apparently, they were the headlining show. I took the opportunity to get something to eat, a corndog and a Dr. Pepper, and found a seat at an empty picnic table. I read my book as I ate.

  Soon, the sun went down and it was too dark to read. I realized that I was shivering. The stadium was near the ocean, which brought with it a heavy marine layer that thoroughly chilled me. Consequently, I quickly found that the sweater I had brought was entirely inadequate for the freezing night it had become. I decided to go back to Toby’s mom, figuring she might have an extra layer that I could borrow. At any rate, it could take me a while to find her.

  I climbed the steep hill to the back of the stadium. The music sounded like loud noise in my unwilling ears. I did my best to tune it out. I considered, very briefly, putting in the ear plugs, but felt that was an unwise idea as long as Levi was within a three mile radius. I began to look forward to a quiet car ride home. There would be no conversation with Toby, on my end anyway.

  I didn’t see Toby’s mom where I thought she had been, so I walked clear across the stadium along the top looking everywhere. I still couldn’t find her, so I retraced my steps once more. By this point Linkin Park had done three, uncalled for in my opinion, encores. People clapped and screamed wildly. The band left the stage and all their fans began pushing towards the exits like there was a fire at their backs. I look down the hill which was once covered in people, and was now equally covered in the trash they’d left behind. Slobs, I thought.

  As I stood alone watching the crowds quickly dwindling, panic began to set it. How was I supposed to find Toby? I didn’t pay attention to where we’d parked, so I couldn’t just head to the car. Would they leave without me? I started calculating how long it would take my dad to come and pick me up and how exceedingly unpleased he would be by that scenario. I dug my phone out of my backpack and flipped it open. I nearly screamed when I saw that the screen was blank; the battery was dead.

  Just then I looked down the hill, my eyes passing over a large group of people, and as if in a dream, I spotted Levi. I considered my options carefully and determined that he was my best hope of getting home anytime within the next millennia. Levi would certainly be able to help me locate Toby, or Bryce, or at the very least let me use his cell phone. I took a couple deep breathes, swallowing my pride. I would now be known to him as the girl who was ditched twice, three times if you counted the night before last.

  I walked quickly toward him, not wanting to lose my courage. As I got closer I noticed that the group he was standing with was largely comprised of girls; v
ery attractive girls no less. Crap. My jaw began to chatter, largely because of the cold, but I’m sure nerves had their role in it.

  “Levi,” I called in the strongest voice I could muster.

  He turned around slowly, a small, but lovely smile appearing on his face as his eyes met mine, “Chelsea,” he said simply. He turned back to the group of girls to say goodbye. I noticed that he held his hand out to one of the girls in a kind of low-five gesture. Their fingers did a flirty intertwining dance as their hands pulled away.

  “Bye Levi,” she said in a sing-songy voice.

  “See ya, Camille,” he said, already turning his attention back to me, “You’re freezing,” he commented, immediately pulling off his black hooded sweatshirt and handing it to me.

  “Thanks,” I put it on without a moment’s hesitation, “Listen,” I continued, “I don’t know what to do. I can’t find Toby. His mom pulled a full-on Houdini and is nowhere. My cell phone is beyond the grave. I’m standing on this freaking hill of trash, and don’t feel like camping out. ” It occurred to me that it may have been wise to think about what I was going to say before I let my mouth run on its own.

  Levi leaned down slightly and pulled the hood up over my head, taking care to tuck my hair behind each ear. I shivered reflexively as his fingers briefly brushed against my cheek.

  “Come with me. I’ll drive you home,” he said, looking me in the eyes.

  “But what about Toby’s mom? She’s probably wondering where I am. I don’t want her to get all pissy. I’m supposed to be working at Yogurt Heaven this summer.” He had already grabbed the cuff of his sweatshirt that hung about foot below my hand and was guiding me toward the exit.

  “I’ll call Marcy from the car and let her know you’re all safe and sound. She loves me. It won’t be a problem,” he gave me a sideways glance and smiled. “You know, this is, literally, a hill of trash. This whole place was built on an old landfill. On hot days, if the wind blows just right, you can smell a century of people’s leftovers.”