Incognito

by Maria Jackson

  “I do need to get back to Haberdee, though…”

  Kylie stared at her. She had completely forgotten about that. Starshine didn’t even live in this town. If they ended up wanting to go through with this, it would be a long-distance thing. But… Haberdee was only a few hours away. Kylie thought back to the night they’d shared. Starshine was worth it.

  “Can you stay a couple more days?” she asked. “I’ll come see you first thing in the morning after I get off from work.”

  “I have the apartment until the end of the month, and no job to go to.”

  “All right.” Kylie paused, thinking about it. “You know what, fuck it. I’ll take the night off. We can spend the entire day getting to know each other—really getting to know each other—and by the end of it, you can decide when you want to go back.”

  Although Starshine’s eyes widened, she nodded. “I already know what my answer will be. But I’ll give you time to decide.”

  “Okay, let’s meet in the morning.”

  “You can come over right now if you want.” Starshine looked at her seductively.

  The offer tempted Kylie. She would have immediately accepted before all of this happened, but now she couldn’t do it. She was still angry at Starshine and unsure if she could trust her.

  “No,” she said regretfully. “That would sway me in one direction. I’m not going to have sex with you again until we decide about this.”

  “That’s fair.”

  Kylie hoped upon hope that Starshine would be the kind of girl she’d want to date. The idea of never touching her again made Kylie want to die a little. Their intense chemistry definitely made Kylie want to forget what she’d done.

  “I’ll meet you as soon as I wake up,” Kylie said. “Let’s say one o’clock. We can have brunch together and then go for a hike. Do you actually like hiking?”

  “Could I honestly have lied about that?”

  “Okay,” Kylie said, smiling despite herself. “We’ll go for a hike.”

  As Kylie headed home, she doubted if she had ever cared so much about a hike in her life. She couldn’t have said if she was doing the right thing or not, but it definitely felt like it. She wanted Starshine more than she would have thought possible.

  Now she just hoped that Starshine would be the person that she thought she was. Starshine needed to drop her mask, and Kylie would find out if she liked the person underneath.

  She couldn’t sleep. She felt like a kid on Christmas Eve—but instead of being excited for presents, she was nervous because she didn’t know if she would get presents or coal. While she wanted Starshine to be the same as she always had been, she also knew that there would be some major differences. There were bound to be. Stella was a mystery to her.

  The morning was torture as Kylie lay in her bed, tossing and turning but unable to find sleep. After a cup of coffee, she was able to function. She called Starshine sometime around noon. “Can we meet early?”

  “Yeah, I’m ready. I haven’t been able to sleep.”

  They met up at a diner, where Starshine looked much the same as usual. Instead of her uniform and bandana, she was in jeans with her hair tied back. She looked different, but still good. Kylie liked being able to see more of her hair. She hadn’t been worried about her attraction to Starshine, though. That was the least of her worries.

  “You look great,” Starshine said, reaching for Kylie’s hand.

  Sparks went off in Kylie’s body at the touch, and she reminded herself that she needed to observe her. She hadn’t taken the night off work for nothing. If she gave into her lust, they would just end up fucking for twenty-four hours straight, and Kylie still wouldn’t know if she liked the real Starshine.

  Kylie pulled her hand away. “Let’s not touch. You’re going to cloud up my mind.”

  Starshine stared at her, her mouth slightly open. “Well, okay.”

  They ordered the greasiest food on the menu. “So,” Kylie said after the surly waitress had left. “Want to tell me a little about yourself?”

  Starshine actually blushed before answering. “I grew up in Haberdee. I have a little sister. I went to school for journalism. I briefly made the mistake of dating a woman named Pearl…”

  Kylie laughed and shook her head. Maintaining her anger toward Starshine was difficult when she was so cute and sexy. The personality Kylie had fallen for was still there, unchanged.

  “I don’t know what else you want to know,” Starshine said.

  “Tell me about your childhood.”

  “It was okay,” Starshine said. “I was a little on the shy side. I definitely didn’t have the confidence that I have now.”

  She was meeting Kylie’s eyes less than usual, and sometimes she stuttered. Kylie wondered if that was because she was being her real self, or just because she was in an awkward situation. Her money was on some combination of the two.

  “Working at the restaurant helped me become more sure of myself,” Starshine said. “I’m serious about that. I never felt this comfortable talking to strangers, going up to people and sitting down with them… or practically exposing myself while dancing for a room full of people.”

  Kylie nodded. If she thought about it, she had experienced the same thing. She had never lacked confidence, but she definitely had more of it since she started working at Jubblies.

  The waitress dropped a plate of bacon and eggs in front of each of them, and they dug in. Kylie watched Starshine eat, glad her appreciation for food wasn’t part of the act. Kylie liked eating with her, and she liked that they had the same tastes.

  “Tell me about your job,” Kylie said after they’d both taken a few bites.

  Setting down her fork, Starshine looked her in the eye. “Well, I work for a magazine called Snap That. We like to do in-depth reports about things that interest people, things people will spend a long time talking about. Sometimes the slant isn’t so nice, but…”

  “Right.”

  “It’s been an okay job,” Starshine said. “They never wanted to give me any juicy assignments before. I normally just wrote about whatever crap they could come up with for filler. My boss is a bit of a bitch. You would hate her.”

  Kylie liked that Starshine had imagined how she would fit into her life. She took a sip of water and nodded.

  “Even my parents hate my boss,” Starshine went on, pushing her scrambled eggs around her plate. “They didn’t think I should have taken that job in the first place. They found the magazine too snarky, and they thought I was wasting my potential doing grunt work. I should have listened.”

  Funny how Starshine had been completely blind to the realities of her workplace. Kylie’s feeling about her had been right. She wasn’t who she said she was, but she’d never been malicious. Kylie was leaning toward forgiving her.

  “What about your friends?” Kylie asked. “Do you have a lot?”

  “Some,” Starshine said. “I’m still in touch with some of the ones I had in college. I even have friends from high school. Male, female, straight, gay… I never cared too much.”

  “And you haven’t been missing them?”

  “I do, but we keep in touch, and I’ve seen them sometimes when I’ve been back.”

  “You’ve been back to Haberdee?”

  “Sure. During our days off, I’d sometimes go back and see my family.”

  Kylie shook her head. Starshine had been living this whole other life for so long. She wondered for a moment if she would ever be able to trust Starshine. But Starshine was so open about this now, and she wasn’t trying to hide anything anymore. Surely knowing how badly she had fucked up, Starshine would be honest for the rest of her life.

  They finished their meal, and at the end, they said no to dessert. The kind of dessert Kylie wanted wasn’t on the menu. But even if her anger was dissipating, she still had to continue getting to know Starshine and make sure she really liked her before they could go back to her place.

  “So, where are we hiking today?” Kylie asked.


  “I know another trail in town,” Starshine said. “It’s a shorter one.”

  Kylie gave her a look, wondering if she was thinking along the same lines as her. She definitely didn’t want to spend the day hiking when they could be in bed, but she still had to be completely sure about Starshine. “Maybe we’d better hike it twice,” she said.

  The two of them drove to a spot on the other end of town. Starshine led Kylie out of the car and onto a dirt road. They followed it for several minutes, and Starshine smiled as Kylie looked around gleefully. “This is beautiful,” Kylie said.

  “I’m glad you like it. You know, you act different when we go on hikes.”

  “Do I?”

  “You never smiled like that when you were in the restaurant. You seem looser… maybe even younger.”

  Kylie gave her a funny look. “I guess I do act differently, come to think about it. I probably feel more comfortable out here.”

  “And why is that?”

  “I don’t know,” Kylie said. “No one around to judge me.”

  She took a few more steps under the leafy trees when it hit her. Starshine was trying to tell her something. She wore a mask, too. It was different from Starshine’s, but she also had different sides to her personality that she let out at different times.

  Had Starshine intended to make her realize that? The motherfucker and her subtle questions, she probably had.

  “So, how much of what you told me last time was true?” Kylie asked.

  “Everything.”

  “Sure, everything except for what you studied, your last relationship, and your real job,” Kylie said. She tried to sound like she was teasing, but some bitterness came through.

  “All right, except for those things,” Starshine said quietly. “I can’t apologize enough. I know I was wrong, and I didn’t think about how it would affect you. To be fair, I had no way of knowing that things were going to go this way.”

  “You didn’t think you’d be into me?” Kylie asked.

  “More like I didn’t think the hottest girl in the restaurant would be into me.”

  Hottest girl? Kylie liked the sound of that. But Starshine had been willing to let her go. Starshine clearly put her job first, which Kylie supposed was the right thing to do. She could kind of see why Starshine had done what she done.

  “Did you really not think about how your article would affect the restaurant until you told me who you were?” Kylie asked.

  That was the most bizarre part to her. Starshine had been researching and compiling notes for months. How had she never taken a second to worry about what other people would think?

  “I didn’t,” Starshine said. “And it’s inexcusable. I was so happy to have a real assignment. I was only thinking about what to write, and how to make it sound the most exciting to readers. I didn’t think about how you girls would feel. I got caught up in my own importance, and I wasn’t empathetic.”

  “At least you’re thinking about us now,” Kylie said slowly. That was a good thing, even if Starshine had been incredibly stupid to not think about it sooner. “Tell me about the article. What were you planning to write?”

  “I wanted to write everything,” Starshine said. “Like what kind of people come in, and the different things the restaurant has been trying out. It’s just such a fascinating place. I didn’t want to make it look bad… although now that I think about it, it’s probably what they wanted. All I intended was to bring out the truth.”

  Kylie nodded. Starshine’s passion for her work was visible, and she didn’t sound like she was trying to do anything wrong. She’d simply gotten caught up in her vision. Kylie could see how she had done that, even if she didn’t completely understand.

  “So you’re Stella,” she said after thinking about it for a moment. “You seem the same.”

  Starshine glanced at her out of the corner of her eye and smiled. “Like I told you, I am who I am. I pretended to be a little different, but overall I’m the same.”

  Kylie had to smile as well. “You want me to call you Starshine or Stella?”

  “I like S. You’re the only one who calls me that.”

  They were coming up to the end of the trail, and Kylie hated the thought of letting Starshine go without touching her. She reached out and brushed her fingers against Starshine’s hand. A grin spread across Starshine’s face, and she turned to look at her. “I thought you said no touching.”

  Kylie grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers hard enough to hurt. “I changed my mind, okay? Who’s the one begging for forgiveness here?”

  “Does this mean that I’m close to getting forgiven?”

  They both smiled as Kylie relaxed her hand into a comfortable grip. “Maybe,” Kylie said. “We’ll see how it goes.”

  “What’s next on our plan for the day?”

  “I was thinking I would take you back to your place.”

  Starshine blinked at her. “Oh.”

  “And fuck you senseless.”

  “Oh!”

  “What?” Kylie asked, grinning now. “You don’t want to do this?”

  Starshine’s exhale was audible, and she stared at Kylie with pure lust. “I definitely want to do this.”

  Twenty-Eight

  “How long is this fucking elevator going to take?” Kylie demanded, glowering up at the display above the doors.

  God, she looked sexy when she was annoyed. Starshine might have found her anger funny, but she was equally worked up. She wanted Kylie desperately. This elevator needed to show up.

  “I want you here and now,” she whispered to Kylie. “I didn’t know if this was even going to happen. You sure made it hard for me.”

  “It was hard for me, too,” Kylie said. “If your actual self hadn’t turned out to be cool, I would’ve been getting myself off to the video we made for the rest of my days.”

  The elevator dinged just as Starshine’s eyes widened. She had completely forgotten about the video. In the heat of everything that had happened that night, she’d been more focused on Kylie than the camera. “You still have that?” she asked, her voice low as they got into the elevator.

  “I couldn’t convince myself to delete it.”

  The doors shut in front of them as Starshine’s mouth dropped slightly open. She could only imagine how incredible that video must be. A full recording of the first time they’d hooked up… She was seized with the need to look at it.

  “Are you mad?” Kylie asked.

  “Not if you tell me I can have a copy.”

  “I’ll do you one better,” Kylie said, her lips turning up in a smile. “We can watch it together.”

  Starshine caught her breath, overcome with arousal as they walked out of the elevator. They could watch it together, and maybe… act it out together? She couldn’t think of many things that would be more of a turn-on. Her and her girl, getting off on watching themselves getting off.

  And she was allowed to call Kylie her girl now, right? Now that they had been on their date, they were still together, so that meant they were girlfriends. She would ask Kylie later to make sure. For now, she just wanted to see that video.

  As they got into Starshine’s apartment, she licked her lips. “You have it here?”

  “It’s on my phone,” Kylie said. “I’ll play it on your computer.”

  “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

  Starshine dragged her through the hall and into her bedroom, where she opened her laptop. She plugged in the phone, and Kylie did some kind of computer thing until the video popped up on the screen.

  The preview image alone was enough to get Starshine going. It was from Kylie’s point of view, showing the top of Starshine’s head, her eyes looking at the camera from over Kylie’s mound.

  “Come here,” Starshine said. “We can sit on my bed as we watch it.”

  “Not so fast. This is fine cinema. I need a glass of wine before we sit down and watch.”

  Starshine looked at her in disbelief. Well, i
f she wanted wine, Starshine would give it to her. “I’ll be right back.”

  She searched through her kitchen for alcohol. Fortunately, there was a bottle of red jammed in the back of the cupboard. She poured some quickly into two drinking glasses, since she didn’t have wine glasses, and brought it back to Kylie.

  “Now we’re talking,” Kylie said, clinking her glass to Starshine’s. “This is classy.”

  “Are you just trying to drive me nuts? Hit play already.”

  Kylie laughed. “If you insist.”

  On the screen, their bodies came into motion. Kylie turned up the sound so that Starshine could hear what they were saying. Starshine looked confused in the video, but after a second she adjusted to being on camera. She reached out for Kylie, who somehow looked as sexy in the video as she did in real life.

  “We look amazing together,” Starshine murmured.

  “We sure do.” Kylie took a sip of wine and put her hand on Starshine’s leg. Starshine thrummed with anticipation. As much as she wanted to rip off Kylie’s clothes, she wanted to see the video more.

  She watched as her image ran her tongue along Kylie’s folds. The sound of Kylie’s moans came through the speakers loud and clear. Starshine’s legs twitched, and a drop of wine splashed onto the sheets. She fought the urge to take off Kylie’s pants. She wanted to do to Kylie what she had done last time.

  And Kylie wasn’t making it easy for her. Now she was rubbing her hand up and down Starshine’s thighs. Maybe this was payback for what she had done in the car. Starshine’s nipples had pebbled against the inside of her bra, and a dull ache pulsed between her legs. She was more aroused than she had ever been in her life.

  “Don’t miss this part,” Kylie said, turning her attention to focus on the screen. “You’re about to do something pretty cool.”

  “Is that so?” Starshine murmured. She was losing the will to speak. She was too turned on for witty comments.

  “Yeah,” Kylie said, her voice low and breathy. “Just about… now.”

  On the screen, Starshine moved her hand sharply underneath her tongue. “Oh!” Kylie cried out through the speakers. Her body bucked, and she followed up her moan with a litany of swearing. It seemed like Starshine had pleased her a lot.