My Fake Valentine

by Kellie McAllen

  There are a lot of people hanging around, and some of them are starting to notice what’s going on between Chloe and me. My reputation is already taking a hit today; there’s no way I’m getting dumped by my girlfriend in front of a crowd, even if Chloe is a total pain in the ass. My eyes land on a girl a few lockers down, and I recognize her as the girl from the play last night. She’s a good actress, and I get a crazy idea.

  “You know what, Chloe? You’re right. In fact, I’ve been thinking that for a while now.”

  This throws Chloe off her game, and I lunge for the kill.

  “I’ve actually been seeing someone else. I think it’s time we broke it off.”

  I walk away without a pause and head for the actress. I never noticed her before, but she looked pretty hot last night, and her parents are celebrities — a hell of a lot more impressive than Chloe’s parents. I strain my brain, trying to remember what her name was. It comes to me a second before I reach her.

  “Mia, wait up.” I reach for her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder, and pull her in for a kiss. There’s definitely an audience now, so I make it a good one, tilting my head and sweeping my tongue between her lips. She tastes like Juicy Fruit gum, my favorite.

  Her eyes bulge out and she starts to pull away from me, but I whisper, “Just go with it, please?”

  She still looks freaked out, but she doesn’t slap me or anything, and I grab her hand in mine and start walking down the hallway. I can hear the gasps and feel the burning stares of the people behind us, and I know Mia and I just became the hottest topic of gossip.

  It’s lunch time, so I pull Mia towards the parking lot. The bell rang several minutes ago while I was in Dillard’s office, so most of the people who were leaving for lunch have already cleared out. Nobody is watching us when she yanks her hand away.

  “What the hell are you doing?” She growls under her breath, and her eyes glow like stove coils heating up. Is she angry? Most girls would be pretty stoked if I randomly kissed them.

  “Sorry, but it had to be done, and you were the closest girl around. I couldn’t let her dump me; it would’ve looked bad.”

  She puts her hands on her hips and her brow crinkles up. “So you thought you’d just pretend you were secretly dating me?”

  I shrug and run a hand through my hair. “Yeah, you don’t mind, do you?”

  “Uh, yeah! I don’t want everyone gossiping about me!” She looks around like she wants to make sure no one is watching.

  “Too late.” I chuckle.

  She frowns again. She’s kinda cute when she’s mad. “What do you mean? What were they saying?”

  “I don’t know, just about your parents and how you stole the show from Aria and stuff.” I lean on the bike rack.

  “Nothing bad?” She looks kind of pitiful when she asks that. What was she expecting?

  “Nothing that I heard. Why? What’d you do?” I grin and wiggle my eyebrows at her.

  She bugs out her eyes. “Nothing. And I didn’t steal the show from Aria. She got put on academic probation and wasn’t allowed to participate. I was… thrust into the spotlight.”

  I wince. At least I wasn’t the only one caught in Dillard’s crosshairs. “You did good, though. You were a real natural.”

  Her face softens, and she smiles, and it makes her a lot prettier. She’s not made up like she was last night, and she looks kind of plain and forgettable in a tee shirt and ponytail, but maybe that’s what she’s going for. It’s probably annoying to have celebrities for parents. I wonder if the paparazzi follow them around and everything?

  “Thanks.” She ducks her head.

  “Of course, now they’re going to be talking about how I dumped Chloe for you.”

  “Nobody is gonna believe that.” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

  “Why not? I mean, I usually go for cheerleaders, not theater chicks, but Chloe was a total drama queen, anyway.” I smile, imagining the fuss she’s probably making right this minute.

  “So, why have I never met you before? Are you a freshman?” I ask.

  She cringes. “Junior.”

  “Have you been here all three years?”

  She nods, biting her lip.

  Huh. How has she managed to slip under my radar all this time? She must be trying to lay low. It probably makes life easier. There are definitely days when I wish the whole school wasn’t watching my every move. Like today.

  “So why’d your girlfriend want to break up with you? You’re…” She shakes her head and doesn’t finish the sentence.

  “I’m what?” I smirk, cuz I know she was probably going to say something like, “You’re the most popular guy in school.” I mean, it’s true. I could probably walk up to any girl here and ask them to go out with me, and they’d say yes in a heartbeat. Not bragging or anything, it’s just the truth.

  “Nothing.” She blushes and shakes her head, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

  I don’t know why, but I decide to tell her the truth. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t act like everyone else who either wants to get something from me or take me down a notch. “That whole academic probation thing? Yeah, they got me, too. Told me I couldn’t play basketball till I get my grades up.”

  Her eyes go wide and she puts a hand to her mouth. “Wow, that sucks.”

  I shrug. “Yeah, but I’m not really worried. I mean, I’m their star player. There’s no way Coach is gonna go for that. He’ll smooth things over.”

  She looks skeptical just like Chloe did. “Well, good luck with that. So… what about us?” She waves her hand back and forth in the space between us.

  “Don’t worry about it. I might kiss you another time or two in the hallway, but I’ll pretend to break up with you in a couple days.” I wink at her and walk away, leaving her with her mouth hanging open.

  Chapter Four

  Mia

  “Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you! You are never going to believe what people are saying about you!” Kerri practically attacks me as I approach my locker, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me out of my daze.

  “Let me guess. They’re saying I’m going out with Austin and that he dumped Chloe for me and french-kissed me in the middle of the hallway.” I grin then open my locker and pull out my lunch bag.

  Kerri’s face droops like I just stole her prized possession. I guess I kinda did. Gossiping is probably Kerri’s favorite pastime. “How do you already know that? They say it just happened like five minutes ago.”

  “Because I was there.” I open my bag, pull out a peanut butter sandwich, and bite off a chunk of it, grinning as I imagine Kerri’s reaction to that tidbit. She doesn’t disappoint me.

  Kerri makes like a fish, flopping her mouth and bugging out her eyes. “Are you saying it’s true? It actually happened?!”

  I quickly chew and try to swallow. “Well, kinda. He did dump Chloe and kiss me in the hallway, but it was just for show. She was going to dump him and he didn’t want her to have the upper hand, so he pretended he had already been seeing me on the side.”

  I roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of the whole idea. Like dating me would be any better than being dumped by Chloe. Breaking up with the hottest girl in school is still ten times better than going out with some nobody like me.

  “Oh my God, Mia, this is so awesome! You’re the luckiest girl ever! You’re on a straight flight to stardom with Austin Meyers as your boyfriend.” She takes the other half of my sandwich and bites into it.

  I shake my head and grab a baby carrot from the bag, waving it around as I speak. “I’m not his girlfriend, Kerri. What part of ‘just for show’ didn’t you understand? He’s not actually interested in me, he just wanted to give people something to talk about besides the fact that he got put on academic probation and can’t play basketball.”

  “He did?” She mumbles around a mouthful of sandwich. “Oh my God, I hadn’t heard that part yet.”

  “So is he gonna keep pretendi
ng he’s going out with you, or what?” She takes the carrot from my hand and pops it in her mouth.

  “No, he said quote, ‘I might kiss you another time or two in the hallway, but I’ll pretend to break up with you in a couple days.’ He’s such a pompous ass.” I take out my annoyance on another carrot, crunching loudly.

  “I know, right? But he’s sooooo cute.” Kerri smiles and gets all dreamy-eyed.

  I can’t really blame her; Austin is gorgeous. Thick, blond hair, chocolate eyes flecked with caramel highlights, golden skin that looks tan all year round, and muscles on top of muscles from hours of football and basketball practice. My brain plays a loop of footage of Austin running up and down the court, flexing his muscles, his body glistening with sweat, and I get lost in the daydream for a minute.

  I shake my head, trying to knock loose the fantasy. Back to reality, Mia.

  “Exactly. He’s way out of my league. Him pretending to go out with me doesn’t make any sense. No one is gonna buy that. As soon as the rumor spreads about what happened, the next topic of gossip will be why on earth he’s interested in me.”

  Kerri puts her hands on her hips and pouts at me. “Don’t sell yourself short, Mia. You’d make a great girlfriend! You’re cute and smart and funny.” She ticks off my limited attributes on her fingers; she doesn’t need very many of them.

  “Are you trying to flirt with me, Kerri, cuz you know I don’t swing that way.” I smirk at her then take another bite of my sandwich.

  “Of course not, smartass. But I am trying to make you realize you’re not as lame as you think you are! Before the whole kiss thing, everyone was talking about last night. Between your killer performance and the breaking news about your parents, your star is rising, honey.” She rolls her head like a diva and wags a finger at me. “You need to ride that train all the way to the station.”

  “And how exactly do you propose I do that?”

  Her eyes scan up and down my body. “Well, for one, you need to work on your look a little bit, dress like a girl instead of a hobo.”

  “What’s wrong with this?” I pluck on my baggy tee shirt. It’s a faded Lakers shirt that probably belongs to my brother.

  Kerri grabs the extra large shirt from behind and pulls it tight against my belly. “You have a nice body, Mia. There’s no point hiding it. And your hair and makeup were on-point last night. You looked totally hot.”

  I roll my eyes. “That’s because I was dressed up like a harem girl and Macy did my makeup.”

  “There you go! All you need is some better clothes and a trip to Sephora! It’s not like you don’t have the money. You live in a freakin’ mansion. You can afford a makeover. It’ll be fun; I’ll help you!” She claps her hands and bounces a little, and I groan. She sounds way to eager about that, and I imagine torture seasons at the mall.

  She’s right, though. My anonymity is disappearing faster than Prince William’s hair. By tomorrow the entire school will know everything about me. “Ugh. Can’t I just transfer?”

  “And leave me here all by myself? How dare you, Mia Black!” She sticks out her bottom lip and scowls, but with her freckles and curly, red hair she’s about as ferocious as a baby orangutan.

  “You can’t hide anymore, Mia. Everyone knows who you are now, and they’re going to be watching you as long as Austin pretends he’s going out with you. You’re going to get a reputation whether you like it or not. You might as well take advantage of the situation and use Austin to help you build a good one.”

  “Like how?”

  She taps a finger on her lip, thinking. “Well, it’d be nice if you could get Austin to actually be your boyfriend for a while, and not just break up with you right away.”

  “He’s not going to do that, Kerri. He was just dating Chloe Levens! You remember her, right? Supermodel gorgeous, head cheerleader, honor society member, president of the student activities committee, homecoming queen her sophomore year, most popular girl in the school.” Unlike me, it would take a polydactyl to count all of Chloe’s attributes on one hand.

  “Okay, so maybe she has a few things on you, but I’m sure once he gets to know you, he’ll like you.”

  “He’s not going to get to know me. He said it himself, he’s going to pretend to break up with me in a few days.” I throw the carrots back in the bag and dig out some comfort food — a Hostess cupcake.

  She pops her hands on her hips and purses her lips, her bun wiggling. “Well, then you just need to give him a reason to spend more time with you.”

  “Like what?” I ask around a mouthful of cupcake.

  “Maybe a trade of some kind. He has something you want, you just need to offer him something he wants.” She hands me her lunch bag and takes the cupcake from me.

  My eyes bug out, and I almost choke on my bite of cupcake. “I’m not going to sleep with him, Kerri!”

  “I wasn’t talking about that! Geez. Get your mind outta the gutter, girl. I was thinking more along academic lines.”

  “Huh?”

  She licks the cupcake cream off her fingers and points one at me. “Well, you said he’s on academic probation cuz his grades suck, right?”

  I shrug. “I guess so.”

  “Sounds like he needs a tutor, huh?” She wiggles her fuzzy, orange eyebrows at me.

  “Are you suggesting I offer to tutor him?”

  “Now you’re catching on! Why don’t you make a deal with him? You’ll help him get his grades up, and in exchange, he’ll pretend to be your boyfriend. It’s a win-win for both of you. And maybe all that time together will help him see what an awesome catch you are, and he’ll want to date you for real!”

  I cringe. It still makes me feel like a hooker or something. “I don’t know, Kerri.”

  “Come on, Mia! You have a chance to spend time with the most eligible bachelor in this school. In fact, the whole school already thinks he’s into you. Why not milk it for all it’s worth?”

  Chapter Five

  Austin

  I ignore my growling stomach and head straight for Coach’s office after leaving Mia with her jaw on the ground. The sooner I get this fixed the better. I know Chloe will be spreading the news that I’m on academic probation to get back at me for dumping her in front of everybody like that, but if Coach works fast enough, maybe I can pretend this whole thing never happened and make it look like Chloe was just trying to dis me.

  I knock on Coach’s door but don’t wait for him to answer before barging in. He’s eating a sandwich and watching a game on his computer, dripping mayo and mustard on his polo.

  “Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot!” He yells at the screen and pounds his fist on his desk. His face is as red and fleshy as the tomato slice that’s about to fall out of his sandwich. The guy is probably one Italian BMT away from a heart attack.

  “Ahhh!” He drops his sandwich and throws his hands in the air then rubs his head with his hands, getting mayo on his temple.

  “Coach?” He swings his head towards me and scrunches his brow then reaches for a napkin.

  “Hey Meyers! How’s it hanging?” He wipes his hands and face and mutes his computer.

  “Uh, not so great, actually. Did Mr. Dillard talk to you?” I plop down in one of his chairs.

  “Who’s that?” He looks down and notices the drips on his shirt and grabs another napkin to wipe at them.

  I chuckle. I guess Mr. Dillard hasn’t made a great impression on the staff, either. Maybe that’s why he’s being such an asswipe and putting everybody on academic probation — he wants to make a name for himself. He’s doing a pretty good job if he wants to be known as the grade nazi.

  “He’s the new vice principal, and he thinks he can come in here and run this place like a dictator. He had the nerve to put me on academic probation. Can you believe that? He says I can’t play basketball till I get my grades up. You’ll talk to him, right?”

  Coach frowns at me. “Academic probation? What the hell kind of nonsense is that? Pardon my language.”<
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  I chuckle and wave it off. “Curse away. I know I wanted to when he told me. Didn’t he send you an email or something?”

  Coach shrugs and taps on his computer, taking another bite of his sandwich. His eyes widen, and he leans in closer to his monitor. “Holy crap, Meyers. Your grades are terrible. What kind of idiot are you?” he says around a mouthful of deli meat.

  “Coach!” I huff. “I’m your best player. You know I’m not an idiot. School just isn’t really my thing, you know?”

  “Well, you better make it your thing if you want to play college ball. I don’t care how good you are, nobody’s gonna recruit you if you flunk out of high school.”

  I hold up my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’ll get a tutor or something. But you can fix this, right? It’s gonna take time for me to bring up my grades, and the playoffs are coming up soon.”

  Coach scratches his head, smearing the mayo. When he pulls his hand away and sees it, he frowns and wipes it off on a napkin. I want to laugh at him, but I keep my mouth shut. I need him on my side in this.

  “I’ll talk to him, but I can’t make you any promises. This guy seems pretty serious. He quoted the school handbook and everything. Technically, he has every right to kick you off the team for the rest of the season. I sure would hate to lose you, though.” He shakes his head, and I wince. I really thought this would be easier to take care of. But I’m not giving up yet.

  “You won’t, Coach. I’ll talk to my teachers, see if they can give me some extra credit work to boost my grades up fast. I just need you to convince Dillard to let me keep playing in the meantime.”

  “I’ll do my best, kid.”

  I give him a salute and head out. Now I just need to talk to my teachers. I make the rounds, but I only get to talk to a couple of them. The rest are teaching class or out to lunch themselves. But the ones I do talk to all say the same thing — it’s gonna take a miracle to pull my grades up. I get a few extra credit assignments, though, and hope I can figure them out. Who knows, maybe I am an idiot. But what does it matter? The way I play, I’ll be recruited by half a dozen colleges and make bank playing pro ball eventually.