Poverty Rocks! (Rock n' Roll in Outer Space Book 1)

by Douglas Hardee

  His father, Hans, was an early admirer of Hitler, but was now disillusioned with all politics. He was a true "mercenary," in his words. They had first met Hans and the prodigy Kurt at a NASA conference as its brain trust had added the German and his son to the Space Program team. Recognizing a fellow scientific savant in Kurt, who was only 20, Jonathan, Leigh and Elisabeth Steiner, Jonathan's girlfriend and a gifted scientist in her own right, immediately embraced the pair. Hans's ideology was the subject of much discussion, but because he was a true genius at almost anything he tried, and had frequently talked of finding a country that appreciated them for their talents, he was the perfect candidate for what they needed. What the two Germans possessed was the utterly unique talent of turning theory into practice. Think Nikola Telsa or Thomas Edison.

  There was no time to dally. They must get back to the Zeonese and the mercurial Germans were their best hope.

  Leigh and Jonathan agreed to use them to create the code enabling them to respond to Zeon, then once they had done that, they would help them manufacture the DDT that was vital to their mission. But first, one of them had to agree to come along on their space voyage. Of course, after the German had been integrated into Zeon, and the DDT was being turned out, then they would turn him into the Zeon authorities for trial. Jonathan and Leigh were extraordinary chess players, and that game taught them to think out events far in advance.

  Their plot was brilliant, except for one thing: Hans knew that he didn't really fit in with Jonathan's cadre. He admired them, but he didn't like or trust them. He knew they needed him to create code, and because he was fascinated by the thought of traveling to another planet, he would go along with the plan. Surely the rulers of this planet of advanced civilization would chose a man who could translate ideas into action over two theorists, however brilliant.

  This was a man brimming with self-confidence and an acute sense of destiny.

  How does one deal with such a talent? Carefully. Hans Roper was impossible to manage and his ideology wasn't a match with theirs, but time was running out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. They would get rid of him in due time. But, there was only room onboard the spacecraft for one of the German scientists.

  So, they were going to use the Ropers to create the vital code, they have them murdered once they finished their mission on Zeon. Oh well, "you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet," was one of Jonathan's favorite lines, supposedly said by Lenin, one of his best-loved revolutionaries, after Che, of course.

  After two days of study, Hans and his son Kurt wrote the necessary code, and voila, after a brief communication test with Zeon, Jonathan, almost delirious in his joy, began his dialog with Decleanus of Zeon.

  Hans, being satisfied that the transmissions from Zeon and Decleanus were authentic, informed Jonathan and Leigh that it would be his impetuous son, Kurt, who would be traveling with them, as his wife and children needed him on Earth, no matter how backwards and brutish the planet might be.

  Jonathan and Leigh were relieved by this news to say the least. The younger Roper would be far easier to double-cross.

  Barely able to conceal his exuberance after his first few exchanges with Decleanus, Jonathan was surer than ever that this Zeon was indeed the Promised Land.

  Yes, they were about to depart their depraved planet and begin anew on a more intelligent planet. The spacecraft the Zeonese were sending would carry four of the smartest people on Earth, three men and one woman. They would have to procreate with the Zeonese and those unions would yield the best and the brightest in the galaxy!

  A very important viewpoint that this Decleanus and his Shapers Council shared with Jonathan was an unfettered hate of American rock 'n' roll. It was brutish, loud, and unthinking, and it was lapped up by the unthinking masses. Perhaps worst of all to them, it was played best by the basest elements in American society.

  Decleanus was also quite happy to welcome the previously unwanted Earthling. Zeon and The Shaper Council had heard American rock when it was first broadcast, and rejected it with extreme prejudice, now; they were about to be colonized by kindred spirits.

  Jonathan and his compatriots had encountered a miracle. They would be saviors of an intact civilization composed mainly of like-minded intellectuals who worshipped science above all. It was a dream come true.

  They drank from a common well. Cosmopolitans uniting across the cosmos. Jonathan smiled to himself at his clever play on words. It was fate, if he believed in such a thing. But very importantly, he was assured he would be sharing power with Decleanus, a man he had come to greatly admire during their communications. The surviving members of the Shaper Council did not know it yet, but, Jonathan Richardson did not play well with others.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Up Up and Away!

  A few months after their depressing Newport outing, Jonathan, while let down by the Folk Festival, had not lost his ardor for Evangeline, and asked her one evening over wine to take the ultimate trip with him and a select few of his colleagues.

  No, she said, "I'm not interested in temporarily losing my mind to experience the wondrous glories of a nude swim with strangers."

  He laughed and told her he didn't mean taking LSD. He meant a real trip: a voyage to another planet.

  Well, "early adopter" that Evangeline was, and growing increasingly tired of fending off the constant advances from the Playboy Club's members and management, decided, with Melanie's encouragement of course, to go for the stars.

  After all, it had been her innate sense of adventure that had led her, at the ripe age of 20, to New York in the first place. Now, she was "going with the flow" all the way to who knows where. She was an adventurer at heart and the thought of a truly pioneering journey was something that really appealed to her, especially since Melanie was so behind the idea.

  Now, you're probably guessing that Melanie and Jonathan were in cahoots; you would be right. Two-thousand dollars and a pound of Acapulco gold can create a lot of simpatico.

  *It is important to remember, dear reader, that in these cynical modern times the idea of taking off in a rocket for another planet might seem rather reckless, but this was the 60s and almost anything was within the realm of possibility.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Praise the Lord and Pass the Moonshine

  I'm a big fan of gospel music, and you cannot be a fan of rock and roll, you cannot be a fan of country western music, and you can't really be a fan of jazz without listening to a lot of music that's religious.

  –Penn Jillette

  Baby, black promoters oppressed me before white promoters ever got a hold of me. Don't talk skin to me.

  –Mahalia Jackson

  You get a heck of a sound from the church. Can't you hear it in my voice?

  –Muddy Waters

  A voice like this one comes not once in a century but once in a millennium.

  –Martin Luther, Jr. (Speaking about Mahalia Jackson)

  Zorbane found Jericho's notes on Mahalia particularly enchanting because he had never known anyone so devoted to a spiritual figure like this Jesus man who once lived on Earth. The Nazarene changed the contour of history there forever. Also, most every kind of artistic endeavor was influenced by the gospels of his followers. Painting, music, sculpture, and literature all reflected the Jesus man and his life. Zorbane slowly read into his app.

  “Mahalia Jackson descended onto Earth, October 26th, 1911, and ascended to the heavens on January 27th, 1972.

  In the meantime, because of her stand for civil rights, she became what her fellow entertainer Harry Belafonte called ‘the single most powerful black woman in the United States.’ That's Earth's home of rock 'n' roll. Other countries play rock 'n' roll but it
began in the America country.

  My Zeonese friends, Mahalia was the once and future ‘Queen of Gospel.’

  Despite being offered a dump truck full of money, she refused to sing or record a secular record. In other words, ‘if it's not spiritual I'm not wasting my gift on it.’ Coming from poverty like hers, that'd be hard to turn down, but she did. That's having a pair, my friends: morals and principles.

  Mahalia grew up in the Black Pearl section of the Carrollton neighborhood near uptown New Orleans. The three-room dwelling where she lived on Pitt Street housed 13 people and a dog. Think about it, sleeping end to end with 12 other people?

  Jackson was four (or five) years old when her mother, Charity, died at the age of 25. Her Aunt Duke raised her, then she and the other children were forced to work from sunup to sundown. Aunt Duke would always inspect the house using the ‘white glove’ method. If the house was not cleaned properly, Jackson was beaten. No easy days for the future gospel goddess.

  Her powerful contralto voice was mesmerizing from an early age; her Aunt Bell told her that one day she would sing in front of royalty, a prediction that would eventually come true.

  Now my intergalactic friends, Mahalia's record sales and awards don't really compare to many others on this list, but that's not how you measure her impact on music and humanity. She was front and center on two of the most important days of our planet.

  The March on Washington. On August 8th, 1963, the same day Dr. King later delivered his immortal ‘I Have a Dream’ speech, 'The Queen of Gospel' delivered three spirituals.

  Dr. Martin Luther King's Funeral. On April 9th, 1968, she sang Dr. King's favorite spiritual: ‘Take My Hand, Precious Lord.”

  No Mahalia:

  No Janis.

  No Aretha.

  No Cissy Houston.

  No Whitney Houston.

  No transcendent Whitney national anthem at Super Bowl in 1991.

  No Steve Martin singing, “Atheists Don't Have No Songs.’”

  One certainty as far as Jericho and Haskell were concerned is that although the Mountain People weren't allowed to worship openly, or build churches, and neither of them were church going men, they would have to hold services somewhere in the Mountain Region. One of the ironies of rock 'n' roll is that one of the foundations of the music came from gospel or spiritual music. Yeah, that's right; Poison, Megadeath and Black Sabbath were mostly born of the Christian Church. There's where Mahalia came in. If anyone was going to connect with the other side of the spiritual plane, it was Ms. Jackson.

  Chapter Thirty

  The Cure

  This Rock N' Roll life, you had to invent it as you went along, there was no textbook to say how you operate this machinery.

  –Keith Richards

  With planetary extinction looming, and despite their abject fears of ever allowing Earthlings onto their planet, Decleanus and his Zeonese Shapers had little choice but to launch a mission and bring these people, who they had detested for decades, into their culture.

  Oh the irony: some 40 years ahead of Earth technologically was on the verge of being wiped out by malarial mosquitos hidden in a comet, unless they got their hands on a substance that had been banned on Earth since 1972. And the formula for DDT had been wiped clean from the memory of every computer on Zeon. It was a substance they wanted erased forever.

  Now, keep in mind, while the technologically advanced Zeonese certainly had the ability to make the journey to Earth, it was by no means a sure thing.

  They would certainly face better odds than, for example, Earth's Apollo 11 mission, which was 50/50 to make a safe landing on the moon. In contrast, Zeon's Earth mission was 70/30 to make it there and back. But, again, what other choice did the seemingly doomed inhabitants of Zeon have?

  For years they had known about Earth, but had never responded to signals that were sent out from the primitive planet. Nor did they have any desire to interact with Earth; too violent, too many diseases, very tribal.

  For their entire history, Zeon had been able to subsist by itself; there was nothing Earth had to offer them, until now.

  Their communications with the Earthling scientist were going so well, some in the Council became a little apprehensive, but they soon were persuaded by the erudite and commanding Decleanus that Jonathan and Leigh, despite being Earthlings, would make perfect Shapers. Kurt Roper and Evangeline Daughtry he was not so sure about, but they could be controlled, or so he thought.

  The Zeonese would land their ship in New Mexico desert, near an area now known as AREA 51.

  The craft had room to transport four Earthlings. They would be given lodging, food and other necessities for perpetuity. And, because they were so obviously of high intellect, they would also be invited to participate on various committees.

  However, before any DDT would be produced, the Zeonese agreed that Earthlings would maintain control of the formula and its production. And, as a further safeguard against any treachery, Jonathan alone would know the formula for the chemical and it would stay in a place where no one else could get to it, his brain. But the best insurance was a small but deadly collection of the mosquitos had been captured and hidden in the Mountain Region. They were the Ultimate Doomsday device. If anything should happen to the Earthlings, well, Sayonara, Zeon.

  Say what you will about these Earthlings, but they thought of everything in negotiations.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Mr. Tambourine Man Redux

  I felt like I might as well have been living in another part of the solar system.

  –Bob Dylan

  Rock and roll is a nuclear blast of reality in a mundane world where no one is allowed to be magnificent.

  –Kim Fowley

  Orbiting just outside Zeon's atmosphere when he wasn't broadcasting his music or receiving and transmitting messages to Trax, Zorbane had an undying thirst for information. Being alone and hunted by a highly sophisticated planet out to jail or kill you can make a lad a touch paranoid. Needless to say, Zorbane was quite excited whenever he got news from Trax.

  No wonder then that the latest transmission from Trax had Zorbane's complete attention.

  "I'm most excellent and glad to report that I was able to avoid Zeon air defenses just as you had calculated and programmed into the aux craft. Good science my friend. I have much to tell you that I learned from our Mountain friends that will explain much of the mystery surrounding our world, including the buried history of Operation PEST.

  “First, you are from interesting stock; actually, you're a mongrel Zorbane! Your Grandfather Parrimore was a shifty operator who had a tryst with a curvy Earthling lady who was part of a select group of malcontents who didn't like America Earth and wanted to join a utopia-like civilization/planet like Zeon, which they discovered through one of their astrophysicist savants, Leigh Redmond. As I mentioned above, he was part of a cadre of American Earth scientists willing to make the journey for reasons to be explained gradually. Legend has it that your grandfather's amour crime partner was the only Earth pilgrim not chosen for her scientific talents Ooh la la!

  “Fascinating to know this bio history that has been vanished from our history books, yes?”

  Trax continued. “It seems Zeon was facing a horrible plague of malaria that they sent an electronic digitized message toward Earth in hopes of rescue.

  “They had had the ability to communicate with Earth for years but had refused of course until the shit hit the proverbial fan.

  “You see Zorbane, a comet full of mosquito larva brought killer mosquitos, which had been eradicated decades earlier, back into our lives. Your great uncle Decleanus, the savvy bullshit artist, had a rescue rocket launch
ed to pick up the Earthlings. Imagine, Zeon had the technology to land on Earth for years but refused to come into contact until then. They were in a bind and needed the crude Earth pesticide to save the planet's bacon if you get my drift. Pardon my language Zorbane but the new music has changed my vocabulary very much so. Okay on with the history recital.

  “Miraculously, or so they say now, five million Zeonese survived in secret underground tunnels that had been built for just such emergencies. Mostly for the Shapers of course!

  “But for these lucky ones to resurface, and get their civilization back in order, they needed rescue: something to kill off these uninvited mosquitos that were bringing a plague of malaria, killing nearly everyone on this planet.

  “The Earth group's leader, a Jonathan Richardson, brought the secret formula for making DDT to kill off the plague-bearing mosquitos as he knew of their plight from communications with The Shapers, who welcomed this stroke of incredible luck.