Horse With No Name
Page 20
Hunter gave a rueful laugh. "I won't be seeing the doctor in Kelowna, that's for sure."
Julia placed a hand on his arm. "Please take care of yourself."
Julia left Hunter in his vacant shop. He refused her help to finish the packing. As she walked away she reflected about the life we wish to live and the life we have to live. Hunter's isolation touched her deeply. She wondered what it must be like to face a future filled with uncertainty and no small measure of fear. The last few weeks had been challenging for her. Everything in her life had changed, and she started to feel like she wasn't dealing with that very well. James Hunter's situation was helping her to put things into perspective.
She walked slowly, reflecting, bundled up in her long, thick wool coat and a dark blue scarf her grandmother knitted for her years ago. The sky was such a clear blue that it almost hurt Julia's eyes. The temperature had dropped noticeably in the past few days and snow was expected soon.
Hunter was paying a high price for being himself. Julia imagined that he'd have to move regularly, and would not be able to settle in one place for any length of time. Eventually people would figure out who he was, no matter how he presented himself. For the rest of his life Hunter would be in some measure of danger. But obviously he was not willing to compromise who he felt he truly was in order to conform to some sort of societal norm. That, Julia could now see, took courage. And it made her feel a measure of kinship with him.
She thought about the price she was paying for being herself, including the dangerous situations she sometimes found herself in. She had moved to Horse in a knee-jerk reaction to her father’s rejection of the idea that she could go to law school. Now that she’d been on her own for nearly two months, she could see that it was perfect and inevitable that she was here, fending for herself. There was no other way for her to live. Looking back at her years as a teenager who preferred to sit with her father in his study and discuss legal cases than drink tea and discuss baby names and wedding gowns with the other girls in the neighborhood, she could see that there was no way she could have ended up anywhere but where she was. Not the town of Horse, specifically, but some place where she was able to forge her own path without the restrictions and compromises inherent in the traditional female life her mother wanted for her.
She nodded and said good day as she passed Mrs. Campbell, but her mind was elsewhere, grasping what she was discovering to be true about herself.
And then there was the matter of her estrangement from her family. She hadn't heard from or written to her parents since she'd arrived in Horse. She wasn't ready to reach out to them yet, but she knew that day would come soon. Her righteous indignation could only keep her warm for so long. When she thought about it dispassionately, she knew that it wasn't her father's fault that the law schools in Ontario didn't accept women. And yet, she still couldn't help feeling hurt by his dismissal of her idea that she try to be the first. She had the mind for it, and he had the financial resources.
The biggest thing that was holding her back from reaching out to her parents was that her father had laughed at her. Julia's eyes stung at the memory. He was the person whose opinion mattered more to her than any other, and he laughed when she shared her dream with him. That had been his instinctive reaction; to think that a career in law for his daughter was a joke.
Julia sniffed and dug around in her coat pocket for her handkerchief.
Her mother might not be the most affectionate person on the planet, but Julia knew she loved her. And her father...well...he was a man of his time and one who was set in his ways. Though she wasn't ready, a still, small place inside Julia told her that she would have to make a choice between loving him for who he was or being permanently angry that he wasn't who she wanted him to be. The discovery of Hunter’s true identity had also taught her this; people are who they are. We can accept them or not. But our lack of acceptance doesn’t change them.
She blew her nose and wiped her eyes as she walked. Looking up, she realized she was passing Merrick's office. She knew while she had been trying to help Hunter that she’d stepped on Merrick's toes. She had been taking her confusion and frustration about her life out on him by pushing where it wasn't her place; using the mystery of Hunter’s beating to distract herself from her own problems. Including the danger that she had been awakened to when the two men outside the dance had tried to attack her. Considering all she had done, Merrick had been more than gracious. She reflected that he probably should have thrown her in jail. She also knew that perhaps it was time to apologize to the man.
She crossed the street and stepped up onto the wooden sidewalk outside Merrick's office. The door didn't move when she turned the handle. Covering her eyes with her gloved hands she peered through the glass and could see the office was dark and empty.
***
Christopher was alone when Julia entered the general store. He was behind the counter, unpacking a box of cans onto a shelf. Julia noticed he was whistling to himself and found herself cheered to hear it.
"Miss Thom!" he said, his wide smile brightening Julia's day slightly. Without being asked, he knew what she was looking for. "Betty is in the back. She'll be happy to see you."
Julia found her friend sitting at the wooden table in the storeroom, a pair of trousers in her lap and a sewing needle in her hand. Betty looked up when she heard Julia approach. She had pins pinched between her lips, which she pulled out and stuck into a small cushion on the table.
"Ahoy there," Betty said, grinning.
"Ahoy," Julia grinned back and sat down opposite Betty, enjoying the fact that they could joke about her adventure in Lake Okanagan. "You're making Christopher a suit?"
"This is for Mr. Hunter."
"Again? You'll be entirely responsible for his new wardrobe."
"I can't have him going off to Kelowna with only one suit."
"You're a good woman, Elizabeth Mitchell."
"Tell my husband, will you?"
"He seemed pretty cheerful when I came in. How are things on the financial front?"
"Actually, not too bad. I shouldn't disparage him. He's making a real effort to collect the money we're owed. He even got Horace Piling to pay off his debt entirely." Betty glanced up from her sewing and looked pleased. "Granted, it was only five dollars, but still. He was firm about it."
Julia was happy for her friend. "Were you there at the time?"
"I was here, in the back. I'm not sure if Christopher knew I was listening. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming he didn't know and that he pressed Horace of his own accord."
"So, things are looking up? You may not have to live in a tent in my backyard."
"Not right away, anyway." Betty pulled a knot in the thread she was using and reached for the scissors to cut it off. Task completed, she poked her needle in the pin cushion and held the trousers aloft. "What do you think?"
"I think they look a hell of a lot more comfortable than the dress I'm wearing."
Thirty-five
"I'm not going to be able to get you to stop interfering, am I?"
Julia, startled, looked up from her desk where she was making notes for a lesson.
Jack Merrick was standing in the doorway to the classroom. She hadn't heard him come up the stairs. He pulled his hat off and stepped into the room. It was the first time she'd seen him since Gerard Anker's trial, a week ago.
After not finding him at his office the other day, Julia went to the smithy, where she found Walt's head bent in concentration over what looked like a fireplace poker. He was forming pieces of iron at the top of the handle into what looked to Julia like a pinecone. It was beautiful and more delicate than anything she'd seen Walt work on before. She waited, not wanting to disturb him. When he dunked the handle in the bucket of water by his feet she stepped forward and he noticed her for the first time.
She pointed at the poker. "That's lovely, Walt."
The big Irishman shrugged, and Julia thought he looked embarrassed. "It's nothi
ng. Just a little something I'm playing at."
"Well, I think it's beautiful."
Walt's blue-green eyes softened a little bit. "How can I help, Lass?"
"I'm looking for Merrick."
"Ah," Walt nodded, and looked back down at his piece of artwork. "He's gone."
"Gone?"
"Gone hunting. He needed a few days off. The judge told him to take some time for himself. Mayor Billy's looking after the office when he's not at the bank. Hopefully we won't have a stagecoach robbery or anything like that while Merrick's on leave."
Julia stayed and chatted with Walt for a while, but her mind was elsewhere. She was hurt that Merrick had left town without telling her. Not that he had any obligation to. Despite their differences of opinion, especially lately, she considered him to be her friend. Perhaps he didn't feel the same way about her.
She left the forge and walked home. Snow had fallen the day before and the town looked like it was wrapped in cotton wool. Julia pulled her coat and scarf tighter around herself, feeling lonelier than she had since arriving in Horse.
So, when Merrick showed up in her classroom several days later, she was startled, relieved and also apprehensive.
He walked into the room, looking like a giant among the small school desks. He walked up the left side of the room and settled his bottom on the window sill closest to Julia's desk.
"How was your hunting trip?" she asked.
Merrick nodded. "Fine. Got an elk. That'll keep me for the winter."
Now it was Julia's turn to nod. She felt anxious, and the ferocity of the feeling surprised her. She began to speak, but Merrick got in ahead of her.
"Here's what I need to know. Were you always like this? Torturing the local constabulary?" Julia thought this was an attempt at a joke, though the question sounded not-quite light-hearted.
Julia felt her defenses coming up, despite the weak attempt at humor. She pushed her chair out from her desk and turned in her seat, looking at him. "Do you feel tortured?"
"Somewhat. You see, technically I'm the one who's supposed to be solving the crimes." The look on Merrick's face was one she had not seen before. He looked calm but also a bit sad.
Julia took a breath and remembered her new expectation of herself to remember that she was not the only person in the world with concerns and beliefs about the way things should work. "I apologize," she said. "I have been putting my nose in where it doesn't belong."
The constable stretched his long legs out straight in front of him and crossed them at the ankles.
Julia braced herself for a lecture, and perhaps even the threat of charging her with interfering with an investigation. Instead Merrick surprised her, "It must be frustrating to not be able to do the type of work you want to."
Julia was more stunned than she'd been in recent memory. To her mortification, her eyes began to sting. "What on earth made you say that?"
"Walt gave me a bit of a talking to the other day." Merrick smiled grimly at the memory. "He suggested perhaps I've been too hard on you."
Julia cleared her throat. "Not really. I shouldn't be interfering with your work. You were right to tell me to step back."
"I might have been right in the eyes of the law, but I wasn't being a good friend. And that matters to me as much as being a constable. I think..." Merrick paused, and took a breath. He started again, "I had lots of time to think about things while I was away. And as much as I hate to admit it, I think my ego was bruised."
Julia breathed out a little sigh.
"Hard to believe, I know," Merrick continued, "we men are fragile creatures, Julia Thom. You're a force to be reckoned with and I think you need to be a bit patient with me. I'm just going to need some time to adjust to your...habits."
Now it was Julia's turn to smile, though hers was tinged with sadness. "I promise to try to stay out of your way from now on."
"Please don't."
She looked at him with questions in her eyes. "What do you mean?"
"You mentioned the other day that you wanted to be a lawyer."
Julia nodded.
"And you obviously have a knack for untangling puzzles. I...I don't quite know how to say this. I'm not a very eloquent man. All this trouble with James Hunter made me see something I hadn't seen before. It can't be easy to live a life that's not your own. It's not Hunter's fault he was born in the wrong type of body. There's a lot about him that I don't understand, but what I do believe is that he didn't choose the circumstances he finds himself in. And, in a similar way, it's not your fault you weren't allowed to go to law school because you're a woman."
Julia nodded again. She was struck dumb by the nature and direction of this conversation. The room almost swam around her. Outside she heard a crow call in a raspy voice.
Merrick continued. "I supposed what I'm saying is, I'm going to try very hard not to object so strenuously to your assistance from now on, should it be needed. I'm buried in paperwork and administrative duties so often that another set of eyes and ears will only make my job a little easier. Does that appeal to you at all?"
The schoolteacher nodded. She didn't trust her voice enough to speak.
Merrick continued. "All I ask is that you try not to be too obvious about it when you're helping me. And that you keep me apprised of what you know and what you're doing."
Julia nodded again. She was having trouble getting enough breath into her lungs. Not since the last time she and her father had had a debate about one of his cases in his home office had she felt so validated. She looked at Merrick and smiled, wishing she could find the words to tell him how much she appreciated that he could see her.
He continued. "And I also want to say I'm sorry."
Julia swallowed, frowning at him, confused. "Why?"
"I was hard on you the other night at Finnegan's. All I could see was that you were trying to do my job. I owe you an apology."
"I'm not trying to do your..." she began.
Merrick cut her off. "I know that. You're just trying to help. I can see that now. It's who you are. You're not interfering to spite me, or to prove me wrong. You want the same results I do." He stood up off the window sill and put his hat on.
Julia could hardly fathom what had just happened. She sat with a dazed expression on her face.
The constable walked down the length of the room and stopped at the doorway. He turned back to look at her. "C'mon. Walt and I want to buy you a pint at Finnegan's. We need to celebrate a closed case."
Julia stood up. She took her coat off the rack in the back corner of the room and pulled it on. Merrick held the front door open for her and closed it behind her as they walked down the steps.
Collecting herself, Julia said, "What happened?"
"What do you mean?"
Julia reached the ground and turned to look at Merrick. "What brought on this change of heart?"
He thought for a moment, casting his glance across the schoolyard. "That big Irishman said something to me the other day that kept ringing in my ears while I was out hunting. I couldn't get his stupid voice out of my head."
"What was that?"
"Don't tell him I gave him credit for this." Merrick now glanced at Julia.
"I promise," she said.
Merrick took a deep breath, "He said that you and I are more alike than we are different." There was a slight pause and then he concluded, "And I think he's right."
Julia's heart sang a little, and she felt a weight that she hadn't known was there lift off her chest. They walked on, boots crunching pleasantly on the skiff of snow that glazed the road.
She glanced sideways at Merrick and grinned at him, the tension of the past few days and weeks breaking. "So Walt thinks you'd look good in a dress?"
Merrick guffawed. "That's exactly right. Good luck finding a corset to fit me though."
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Acknowledgements
My indebtedness and appreciation to the kind and generous folks at the Vernon Museum and Archives. Without your help this historical mystery series would not exist.
Huge thanks, as ever, to my family for all your love and support. And to my dear friends (you know who you are) for your encouragement and love.
Thank you to the Dream Team, Janet, Valerie and Joel, for your comradeship on the author journey and for holding me accountable. You guys rock!
Beta read by Maia Sepp
Copyedit by Dawn Nassise
Proofread by Angie Ramey